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Goodbye Jesus

An Historic Event


Amethyst

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It was a sweltering hot, dry day in the middle of August, in the year 2020. I was in the backyard playing Frisbee with the dog, a golden retriever named Lucky, when the radio playing The Boys of Summer suddenly crackled at the end of the song and the DJ made a special announcement.

 

“We have breaking news from CNN. Reports of unidentified flying objects are coming in from around the world. Italy reports that a silver egg-shaped craft is floating above the city of Rome. China reports that several of these egg-shaped saucers were seen hovering over different parts of the country. We’ve just received a report from the UK that a strange aircraft is drifting above London, and a report from New York City that they, too, have an unknown object hovering above. No word yet as to whether these are really UFOs or an elaborate hoax. We’ll keep you posted as we get more information.”

 

The DJ paused. “Man, I never thought I’d live to see this day. Let’s hope these guys are friendly. Here’s Rocketman by Elton John.” The song began to play.

 

“Come on, Lucky. Let’s go inside.”

 

He barked as if to say, “Sure.”

 

On the way to the back door, Lucky picked up his favorite rawhide bone from the grass he’d dropped it in and gnawed on it.

 

Inside, Tom was making lunch. The smell of hamburgers and baked beans filled the air. He already had the kitchen table set for the two of us.

 

“Hey, hon,” he said, then looked concerned. “Everything all right? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

 

“Did you hear the news on the radio? We should turn on CNN. They announced the arrival of UFOs.”

 

“You’re kidding. No, you’re probably not, I can tell by the look on your face. Here, Kathy, sit down and I’ll turn on the TV,” Tom replied as he picked up the remote.

 

The TV news showed images of the giant silver saucers. People on the ground stopped and stared. Some of them pointed. In New York City, they showed signs of a skinny, gaunt man with gray hair and a beard standing on a street corner with a sign that read “Repent: The End Times Are Coming” as the UFO cast a dark shadow over him.

 

“Do you think this is a sign of the end times?” several people on the street were asked.

 

“No, it’s a sign that Elvis is coming back,” a middle-aged woman wearing a florescent pink outfit and too much makeup replied when asked.

 

“I think it’s a sign that media reporters ask too many stupid questions,” a young man sarcastically said.

 

“Wait and see,” said a middle-aged man wearing a suit and tie. “Just wait and see.”

 

Then the reporter announced, “In half an hour, we’ll take you live to the White House where the President will respond to Iran’s allegations that the UFOs are just an elaborate hoax by the United States to provoke Iran and other middle eastern countries into giving them cheaper oil.”

 

Tom came over and stood next to me. “Can you believe it? This is incredible, Kathy.”

 

“If you say it’s ‘an historic event,’ I’ll slug you,” I replied with a grin. When people sounded pretentious, they were very annoying.

 

He chuckled. “Wouldn’t dare say such a thing around you,” he joked. “Still, you gotta admit, it’s really something.”

 

“Assuming it doesn’t turn out to be a hoax.”

 

“Right,” he said.

 

We ate lunch while watching the various news reports, wondering if it was going to turn out to be the real thing.

 

Half an hour later, the president came on.

 

“Good afternoon, my fellow Americans. Today is an historic event.”

 

Tom chuckled under his breath.

 

“The question of whether we are alone in the universe has finally been answered. Myself and other world leaders have received communications from the extra terrestrials orbiting our planet. They desire to establish diplomatic relations between our planet and theirs, which is in the Alpha Centauri solar system. Let us welcome the Alpha Centaurians to our world and treat them as honored guests.”

 

A photographer captured the silver saucer above London casting a shadow over Big Ben and the tower bridge as a brilliant golden sunset filled the sky.

 

“Wow,” Tom said. “Guess it’s not a hoax.” Then with a twinkle in his eye, he said, “It’s an historic event.”

 

Lucky barked once, as if to say, “Right.”

 

“For that, mister, you’re not getting a backrub tonight.”

 

Tom laughed. As Lucky whined, he reached down to scratch behind the dog's ears.

 

What would happen now that the aliens were here? Certainly, life would continue. But it remained to be seen whether the aliens were truly good, as they claimed.

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