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Waiting (My Testimony)


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I waited on him

 

But he didn't arrive at the right time

 

I waited on him

 

But he left me holding the bag all day long

 

I waited on him

 

But the pain grew to much for me to bear alone

 

I waited on him

 

But I lost the two girls I loved more than the world

 

I waited on him

 

But I slowly fell ill and almost went insane as well

 

I waited on him

 

But I started doubting everything he ever said about himself

 

I waited on him

 

But the confusion never stopped and the healing never came along

 

I waited on him

 

But in the end I had to give up, because he left me waiting far to long.

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chrisdownunder, I can relate to your poem so much. I kept waiting on god but he never did anything for me either. What a waste!

He only comes if you believe he has come, but even then he is not there.
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I was expecting him to intervene and help me out in my life whenever I needed him to since he is supposedly all good, all knowing, all powerful, all loving, and etcetera. I guess I was expecting too much. Either that or the bible and christians were lying.

I would say grossly mistaken.
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Very well said! Thank you for that lovely poem!

 

This really shows that becoming an ex-christian is not a choice. I was always trying to make excuses for him, but at some point it was enough and there was no way back.

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I'm really touched by what you wrote.  I can feel your disappointment and heartbreak.  It's been just the same for me as well.  Always "waiting on the Lord."  Even now as a deconvert I still find myself waiting for him to show up and save the day.  I was promised all my life that he would.  I held on to belief and waited year after year even in the midst of heartbreak beyond what I could stand.  But I'm still here nothing has changed, and I have waited far too long.  There comes a point, when waiting in the rain for a bus to come pick you up, so to say, you finally realize the bus isn't coming. 

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I know that feeling. The xians always say it's your fault if you don't "hear" back from god too which can really screw with a person's head.

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I'm really touched by what you wrote.  I can feel your disappointment and heartbreak.  It's been just the same for me as well.  Always "waiting on the Lord."  Even now as a deconvert I still find myself waiting for him to show up and save the day.  I was promised all my life that he would.  I held on to belief and waited year after year even in the midst of heartbreak beyond what I could stand.  But I'm still here nothing has changed, and I have waited far too long.  There comes a point, when waiting in the rain for a bus to come pick you up, so to say, you finally realize the bus isn't coming. 

Are you me?  Because you just told my story. 

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Typical Xtian would say: Why didn't you wait longer? Every argument they put up is an insult to your

sincerity and your intelligence. That's because Xtians can't defend themselves without leaving logic and reality behind. bill

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Apparently only the spiritually (in christian terms, of course) minded can comprehend the inscrutable ways of god.

 

The rest of us poor carnal souls must just allow in the loneliness of our inability to feel the joy of god's love and presence...

 

Such delusion, we suffer,..

 

(Well, I suppose, on balance, I prefer having woken up and realized that the doctrines I clung to were b*ll*cks from the start!)

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Well written Chris. So sorry you had to go through all that. religion can really be a mindfuck. Which part of Aus are you from? I'm in Perth. :)

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what a great thread.so many folk with the same experiences.i identify alot with the poem and others responses of yrs of waiting on god.The promise always just around the corner.

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Typical Xtian would say: Why didn't you wait longer? Every argument they put up is an insult to your

sincerity and your intelligence. That's because Xtians can't defend themselves without leaving logic and reality behind. bill

bill,

I often had those thoughts, "maybe I should've waited longer" and god would've eventually showed up. And the feelings I had every time were exactly that: I felt insulted by god.

 

How long would a fiance wait for her wedding day?  Two years?  Ten?  Oh, sure, he's willing to put his ring on your finger; but try tying him down to a date and you'll find he has serious committment issues.

 

I waited thirty years for jesus to show himself to me, but all I ever heard were empty promises--Soon... he'll show himself soon.  Serious committment issues.

 

Oh, sure, he's willing to put his ring on your finger; but try tying him down to a date and you'll find he has serious committment issues.

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That was beautiful.

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