Guest Caddius Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Well, I haven’t found many people like me, and frankly doubt that I will. First off I grant this site and sites it links to as my first eye opening experience that brought me to the belief system I am in today. I have been off an on here for over 2 years. Here is the simple quick life story I didn't have Christian parents, but did not discourage, I went to church on my own free will, and was saved at 11 at a church camp. I was a on fire bible thumper at times, and was glad to talk about my faith. However once out into the real world, after leaving high school I began encounters with people outside the Bible belt, and had my doubts from time to time. After running into a church system my new wife attended that I would deem as a cult, and because to seriously question my own beliefs wondering if I could possible become blinded by my own faith from the truth. I did get my wife out of that church but into a different one. I decided one day to answer my questions, and I did, in the form of leaving the faith altogether. Only no one knows about it. And I like it that way. To denounce my faith to those around me would guarantee divorce, lose of job and basically ruin my life completely. Seeming how I no longer have a belief in God, my family is all I have. And I am not going to lose them if it means going to church and going through the motions. I love my family more than to destroy them with this information. So why not try to convert them as well? Simple, it makes them happy. As long as they believe I am with them, there is no arguments, no issues, or talking behind my back, no feeling like I am not invited to family events, nothing. All is well. I talk about God no differently, I pray when asked, and I even talk about God and theology when it comes up. I play the part, and frankly, I've been going it for 19 years, so I have little issues with it now. Again with the simple belief that we are it and God is not there, why destroy people’s faith? Why possibly ruin my relationship with my mom, wife, and lose my job (which I won't go into, but is the best job I ever had) all because of something that DOESN'T exist. Let them come to their own conclusions. If anyone would have told me before, what I believe now, I would have fought them tooth and nail. However, once I decided to figure it out for myself, I found what I was looking for. True Truth. And I don't regret it. I am still a Republican, I am still conservative, I am still a strong moral human, and I was that way before I was a Christian, and I will continue it. So there it is, that is me, quickly. Again, from my past experience here, I doubt there are many like me, but I might be surprised. Thanks for reading. C Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 I took me a while to tell my wife and kids, and I haven't told my parents and most of my siblings. Only one of them truly knows that I'm an Atheist now. And I agree, why destroy their faith, they need it and I don't see a benefit of sever my relationship with them. And in August I had to pray with them too, and that was funny. They even liked my prayer, and that is weird, since the Holy Sprocket didn't give me up!? Anyway, welcome to the site, and you will see that the people here are from many different and strange backgrounds. A question, when did you lose or leave your faith? Recent? Or was the 19 years referring to how long you've been free from the meme virus? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Caddius Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 I took me a while to tell my wife and kids, and I haven't told my parents and most of my siblings. Only one of them truly knows that I'm an Atheist now. And I agree, why destroy their faith, they need it and I don't see a benefit of sever my relationship with them. And in August I had to pray with them too, and that was funny. They even liked my prayer, and that is weird, since the Holy Sprocket didn't give me up!? Anyway, welcome to the site, and you will see that the people here are from many different and strange backgrounds. A question, when did you lose or leave your faith? Recent? Or was the 19 years referring to how long you've been free from the meme virus? About 2 and 1/2 years ago I de-converted, and what a weird experience, i can still remember the feeling I had like, WOW, I actually have to admit to myself, that what I have believed all this time is possible wrong. I as crossing the line and it was a strange feeling. But I came to that conclusion myself, I would have never taken anyone elses advice on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 That's about the same time for me, some 2-3 years ago. And I agree, it was weird. I guess you didn't de-convert out of hurt feelings or such but just because things didn't just add up anymore? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkepticOfBible Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 I took me a while to tell my wife and kids, and I haven't told my parents and most of my siblings. Only one of them truly knows that I'm an Atheist now. And I agree, why destroy their faith, they need it and I don't see a benefit of sever my relationship with them. And in August I had to pray with them too, and that was funny. They even liked my prayer, and that is weird, since the Holy Sprocket didn't give me up!? Anyway, welcome to the site, and you will see that the people here are from many different and strange backgrounds. A question, when did you lose or leave your faith? Recent? Or was the 19 years referring to how long you've been free from the meme virus? About 2 and 1/2 years ago I de-converted, and what a weird experience, i can still remember the feeling I had like, WOW, I actually have to admit to myself, that what I have believed all this time is possible wrong. I as crossing the line and it was a strange feeling. But I came to that conclusion myself, I would have never taken anyone elses advice on it. Since you are stil dealing with the cult like mentaility, just be careful of the brainwashing techniques http://www.dicksutphen.com/html/battlemind.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Caddius Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Since you are stil dealing with the cult like mentaility, just be careful of the brainwashing techniques http://www.dicksutphen.com/html/battlemind.html No Worries there, I have always been the stuburn type, I can't say I have ever been "brainwashed" I am always the skeptic. I guess you didn't de-convert out of hurt feelings or such but just because things didn't just add up anymore? No I just wanted answers, and decided to spend the time to find them. I was shocked at what I found. I will say there was a time I was mad at myself for just believing it, but I trusted the firends and family I had that helped me along the christian faith. I wasn't mad at them, they were just as lost. Funny to say they are lost, when they would now say I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnosis of Disbelief Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Welcome to the forum, Caddius! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Luci Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Hi, Ive got a question for Caddius. How can you live the way you do? I cant imagine hiding my true self from loved ones, especially my partner, pretending to be something Im not. You seem to cope with it ok but I guess you felt the need to tell someone which is why ur on here. Im not trying to change ur way of living Im just curious as to how u can live this way? Are you simply no longer a believer or can you also see anything wrong with christianity like non-believers being sent to hell for eternity and god standing by while innocent people suffer. I could never do what you do because in my eyes the christian beliefs are wrong. Its more than just believing in Santa of not believing because santa is good. However god is vengeful, arrogant, uncompassionate and unforgiving and punishes his creations for his own screwup with their design and programming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Welcome, Caddius! I too have not told many people. I am just coming out of the closet to an old friend, and I'm waiting for her response via email. Partially, it just doesn't seem like that big of a deal; I'm a Deist, fine. Also, I don't want to unecessarily upset certain loved ones whose health is rather precarious. I'd rather just not discuss religion period than make everyone worry about my soul or whatever, or upset any delicate health conditions. It's just not worth it, but it royally sucks not just being able to be totally open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aqua Kitty Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Hi Caddius, I have only told two people in real life that I am an atheist. Everyone else is on a "need to know" basis, as in "they don't need to know." It would be nice if we lived in a world where we could be open about our disbelief, but the area I live in is Uber-religious and to be branded one of those "Evil Atheists" would probably result in me losing my job. So I am very careful who I tell. IMO, life's too short to waste my precious time defending why I don't believe in their imaginary friends. Besides, my family knows better than to ask me to go to church with them. They all learned years ago that there's no way on earth I'll be out of bed before 10:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Laziness does appear to have some merits after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 No I just wanted answers, and decided to spend the time to find them. I was shocked at what I found. I think this is the most common denominator of exchristians. Whatever happened in our lives, most of us got to a point where we needed to validate our beliefs. Christianity failed inspection. As far as telling the family. My wife knows. As far as the kids go, I don't tell them there is a god or that there isn't. Kind of like Santa. I simply tell them if there is a god, it is certainly not the one of the bible or the quran. By the way, Hi! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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