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Ask And You Shall Receive


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god is like steve jobs, he gives you what you need and NOT what you want,,,,

 

and probably he thinks you ask for the 'wrong' things,,,,

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You shouldn't have to ask god even once. Being all-knowing he already knows everything you need.

 

Of course, to christians, that justifies god giving you cancer rather than, say, help paying your bills. 'Cause god knows you need a big, murderous tumor more than you need to be able to keep the heat and lights on for your kids.

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You shouldn't ask God at all because God has a perfect plan.  If you want something that isn't happening then that isn't part of God's plan so your desire is at odds with perfection.  So you should just sit there and be content with the horrible hand life has dealt you and give your pastor the 10% God deserves.  Do I need to remind you again how impossibly perfect the next life is going to be and how it is going to be more wonderful than you can even imagine as long as you don't doubt it?  Oh don't let any doubt creep into your mind or else the afterlife is going to be impossibly horrible and more painful than you can even imagine.

 

Oh by the way God loves it when you beg so go ahead and petition God for a better life anyway.  It's your relationship to beg.  But don't blame God when he says "no".

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You shouldn't ask God at all because God has a perfect plan. If you want something that isn't happening then that isn't part of God's plan so your desire is at odds with perfection. So you should just sit there and be content with the horrible hand life has dealt you and give your pastor the 10% God deserves. Do I need to remind you again how impossibly perfect the next life is going to be and how it is going to be more wonderful than you can even imagine as long as you don't doubt it? Oh don't let any doubt creep into your mind or else the afterlife is going to be impossibly horrible and more painful than you can even imagine.

 

Oh by the way God loves it when you beg so go ahead and petition God for a better life anyway. It's your relationship to beg. But don't blame God when he says "no".

Yes haunting words, but true.
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God's 100% perfect, therefore his plan is 100% perfect

100% perfect god wants you, someone who can't be 100% perfect, to ask him

If he doesn't grant it, it's your fault for asking for something that 100% perfect god cannot allow in his 100% perfect plan

If he grants it, hooray, isn't god great

Either way, be sure to give 100% perfect god praise and adoration for whatever the outcome is, because the outcome is part of his 100% perfect plan

 

PS:  Be sure to pass this onto your children and grandchildren

 

Wendybanghead.gif

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Oh wait, I forgot to blame all of life's troubles on a woman eating some fruit.  I'll just take a crowbar and jam it in there somewhere.

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You shouldn't have to ask god even once. Being all-knowing he already knows everything you need.

 

Of course, to christians, that justifies god giving you cancer rather than, say, help paying your bills. 'Cause god knows you need a big, murderous tumor more than you need to be able to keep the heat and lights on for your kids.

And I did not forget you MerryG, it's rigged at it's core.
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Is this the christian prayer in a nutshell?

 

Take a coin and ask that coin that you need heads. Then flip the coin and if you get heads praise the coin that you got heads, but if you get tails praise the coin for giving you tails instead. Then say later how the coin knew all along what you needed and flip again.

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God's 100% perfect, therefore his plan is 100% perfect

100% perfect god wants you, someone who can't be 100% perfect, to ask him

If he doesn't grant it, it's your fault for asking for something that 100% perfect god cannot allow in his 100% perfect plan

If he grants it, hooray, isn't god great

Either way, be sure to give 100% perfect god praise and adoration for whatever the outcome is, because the outcome is part of his 100% perfect plan

 

PS: Be sure to pass this onto your children and grandchildren

 

Wendybanghead.gif

:)
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Yes, begging, pleading and petitioning are the only ways to grow your soul. If he says yes, its because he blesses you for your meagre efforts. If he says no, it's because you don't know what you need and/or he is testing you. Always be thankful and patient, never question, never doubt, never expect, never test. You know, never act like god.

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Is this the christian prayer in a nutshell?

 

Take a coin and ask that coin that you need heads. Then flip the coin and if you get heads praise the coin that you got heads, but if you get tails praise the coin for giving you tails instead. Then say later how the coin knew all along what you needed and flip again.

 

Sadly, I think you've nailed it right there.

 

Everything about "ask and ye shall receive" is so bogus and so contradictory that I don't know how christians -- even with their high tolerance for cognitive dissonance -- can look at this business and not immediately deconvert.

 

First of all, despite Jesus's strong, unequivocal (and yes, I know, probably fictional) claim that you WILL receive whatever you ask for, how can they not see that they DON'T receive?

 

Second, if "god has a plan" and the plan is perfect, what's the point of asking for anything? Just shut up already and go with whatever he dishes out.

 

Third, if "god has a plan," then how can he also go around granting wishes? Because clearly that would mean changing his perfect, divine plan every time a christian was looking for a good parking spot or wanting an "A" on a test -- and we know that even a change as small as a butterfly's wing flapping can have consequences that affect the entire future of the world. So granting even one wish, big or small, changes not only the "plan" for that one person, but potentially for the entire planet. The "plan" becomes instant chaos with the granting of a single wish!

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Has anyone here mentioned the story of the persistent widow? The parable essentially says "God refuses to answer prayer unless you pray X times". Isn't that horrifying that the Assemblies of God and probably many other churches that believe in divine healing believe that one can die from cancer for praying 103 times instead of 108 times.

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Some thoughts:

 

"It feels to me like you gave up when GOD didn't just show up and magically change you."

 

That is what my mentor told me when I left the fold. We argued for weeks about many things, but it always came back to this sort of thing. After 5 years of asking, waiting, and seeking His perfect plan...nothing happened. I decided to walk away. If God isn't magical, what is the point of prayer? Are you asking him to do his will, which he is going to do anyway? Talking to yourself? Masturbating without touching your genitals?

 

Prayer is wishing, asking the invisible sky daddy for this or that and then basing your next move (which has to be predetermined for his master plan to work as advertised) what happens. Did you make the team? Get the job? Pay the bill? Make up with your SO? Did God reveal some special wisdom to you? Did he write his word upon your heart? Take away those sinful lusting thoughts that burned you up at night, in the morning and the rest of the day? Did you win the lottery, pass the test, is that guy across from you your One True Love?

 

Supposedly, he decided the path of your life the moment your came to rest in your mother's womb. Yet his divine will can be swayed, his perfect plan redrawn at the clasping of our little praying hands. There is no science to it, no method to the madness at all. Joe prays for a new job and gets cancer instead. Mary prays for her mentally challenged son to be healed and her husband leaves her. That's life, random life where there is no plan, no guy in the sky handing out slices of magical wish-granting salvation pie.

 

I blame believers. They need to stop meddling with the flow of time and the distributions of wealth, health, and knowledge. The world would be in perfect balance if they would stop asking the invisible man behind the curtain to change things all of the damn time. :P

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Oh, you'll receive, all right.  Just never what you ask for.  Because what you can easily see as something that you need is never going to be god's will for you.  You can easily see that you need a stable job to pay your bills, but god would rather you stay on unemployment so that you can see how well he (and the tax-payer) provides for you.  You can easily see that you need to be healed of your cancer but god would rather let you die in order to purify your faith and make you an example to those who don't have it nearly as bad as you.  Even as a christian, I started to realize that praying was pretty much daring god to do the precise opposite of what needed done.

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Ask for something good, receive something evil.  Christianity- a very warped carnival game.  Even if you do get the good thing you asked for (very unlikely) it usually comes at someone else's expense.  Ask god for heaven, God says "alright", God murders son to pay for it.  Ask god for a good meal, God says "alright", and provides you a dead animal.   Ask god to cure your cancer, God says "alright", thousands of tortured monkeys later, you get your cure.  God's currency- pain and bloodshed.  You want something great, it' gonna cost you or somebody else pain and bloodshed to pay for it.  What a fucked up game to play.

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I can understand the prayer for spending time with god/relationship thing, but intercesory prayer (praying for god to do things) is absolutely pointless. If god is all knowing/powerful, then absolutely nothing can happen that is not his direct will and intention. No prayer could change his plan, even though that did happen in the bible.

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I can understand the prayer for spending time with god/relationship thing,

 I understood that kind of prayer, too; then I realized he never spoke back. 

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''For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future''.

 

Then we have.....

 

 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. "For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.…

 

Then we have....

 

''Then He said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and goes to him at midnight and says to him, `Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him'; and from inside he answers and says, `Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.'  I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs. "So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. "For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened.''

 

Then we have....

 

''For he looks to the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens''.

 

Then we have.....

 

''But even the hairs of your head are all numbered and he see's all the sparrows that fall to the earth''.

 

So which is it????.woohoo.gif

 

We could go on forever about the inconsistencies in the bible. 

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I can understand the prayer for spending time with god/relationship thing,

I understood that kind of prayer, too; then I realized he never spoke back.

Dido!

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I can understand the prayer for spending time with god/relationship thing,

I understood that kind of prayer, too; then I realized he never spoke back.

Dido!

 

 What's she got to do with it?  :)

dido.jpg

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scumbag "god".

 

Prays for world peace, and end of suffering for children, gets cancer instead.

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Has anyone here mentioned the one prayer in the Bible God refused to answer. His "I find strength in weakness" explanation for refusing to cure Paul's thorn in the flesh still makes no sense. WTF did that mean?

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-He'll give you the desires of your heart.

 

-You have not cause you ask not.

 

 

So essentially, there's nothing Christians should be without. Oh, that's right! It's me, taking verses out of context again.

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