Chez130 Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 So, today, when the church up the road let out, my youngest son's friend came over to invite him to VBS tonight. Ugh! Worse, even though he doesn't want to go, my husband said he should. (It's complicated.) I was hoping to have a nice, religion-free summer. They already go to a "non-denominational" private school. I'm really screwed here. Thing is, they are just being nice, and since we know them pretty well, it feels rude not to go. I know there's nothing I can do. Thanks for letting me vent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted June 22, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted June 22, 2014 24 hour stomach bugs very often come in handy. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 LOL Funny, Prof, but I can't do that. I mean, I could if I were the one who had to go, but not my kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francesco Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 So, today, when the church up the road let out, my youngest son's friend came over to invite him to VBS tonight. Ugh! Worse, even though he doesn't want to go, my husband said he should. (It's complicated.) I was hoping to have a nice, religion-free summer. They already go to a "non-denominational" private school. I'm really screwed here. Thing is, they are just being nice, and since we know them pretty well, it feels rude not to go. I know there's nothing I can do. Thanks for letting me vent. just hope that program will "open" your son's eyes about christianity flying spaghetti monster will make a way where there seems to be no way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Simply tell your husband that if your son doesn't want to go, he doesn't have to. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanderinstar Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Thats tough...you have my sympathies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 May be an issue over terminology between different countries here. What on earth is "VBS"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted June 23, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted June 23, 2014 May be an issue over terminology between different countries here. What on earth is "VBS"? Vacation Bible School... you know because ruining Sunday morning isn't enough, summer should be ruined as well. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I see. How about explaining to the husband that forcing this issue might put the poor kid off religion for life? Mind, in a perverse sort of way, that might be true and therefore desirable, I suppose... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gall Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 So, today, when the church up the road let out, my youngest son's friend came over to invite him to VBS tonight. Ugh! Worse, even though he doesn't want to go, my husband said he should. (It's complicated.) I was hoping to have a nice, religion-free summer. They already go to a "non-denominational" private school. I'm really screwed here. Thing is, they are just being nice, and since we know them pretty well, it feels rude not to go. I know there's nothing I can do. Thanks for letting me vent. You are in no way being rude not to send you child to be indoctrinated in something you obviously don't believe in. Would they send their chilid to some secular science talk with you son if you wanted them to go? Stop letting other peoples feelings of what is right control your actions for your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 *sigh* I can see most of you don't live in the southern US. The situation is very complicated. My husband is still a believer. He thinks my son should go to VBS. Also, my husband is self-employed. The other child's father is a potential customer in a very big way. If that were not the case, I would have thanked them for the invite, and then just not have sent my son at all, especially since he didn't want to go. The area in which we live is very, extremely baptist. It would definitely not go over well to openly express my disbelief. Since I'm not feeling very welcome here also, I'm thinking perhaps I should move on. Thanks for all the replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 Thats tough...you have my sympathies Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 May be an issue over terminology between different countries here. What on earth is "VBS"? Vacation Bible School... you know because ruining Sunday morning isn't enough, summer should be ruined as well. Exactly right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 I see. How about explaining to the husband that forcing this issue might put the poor kid off religion for life? Mind, in a perverse sort of way, that might be true and therefore desirable, I suppose... I can only hope that will be the case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExCBooster Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Hang in there, Chez130. It can be hard to live in a community that doesn't see eye to eye with you, and that doesn't want to accept your point of view. We're here if you need us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted June 23, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted June 23, 2014 *sigh* I can see most of you don't live in the southern US. The situation is very complicated. My husband is still a believer. He thinks my son should go to VBS. Also, my husband is self-employed. The other child's father is a potential customer in a very big way. If that were not the case, I would have thanked them for the invite, and then just not have sent my son at all, especially since he didn't want to go. The area in which we live is very, extremely baptist. It would definitely not go over well to openly express my disbelief. Since I'm not feeling very welcome here also, I'm thinking perhaps I should move on. Thanks for all the replies. Well, I live in the South, so I can see where you're coming from on that point. As to moving on, well, I'd prefer if you stuck around and gave us a chance, but it's your decision. If you do go, though, you'd always be welcome to come back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 *sigh* I can see most of you don't live in the southern US. The situation is very complicated. My husband is still a believer. He thinks my son should go to VBS. Also, my husband is self-employed. The other child's father is a potential customer in a very big way. If that were not the case, I would have thanked them for the invite, and then just not have sent my son at all, especially since he didn't want to go. The area in which we live is very, extremely baptist. It would definitely not go over well to openly express my disbelief. Since I'm not feeling very welcome here also, I'm thinking perhaps I should move on. Thanks for all the replies. Maybe some other activity you find would preclude your child from attending....scheduling conflict. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 Thank you, XCBooster and Professor. I'm glad there are people here like you. I just had a low moment when I read gall's post. Things are tricky here in the south. I had a very good friend of mine whisper to me about someone else, "I hear he's an atheist," as if it were a scandal. And here, it is a scandal. I would be the talk of the town for sure, and ostracized by some. I made it a point to go talk to the guy she was whispering about the next time I saw him. He was perfectly pleasant. I'm feeling very alone right now. My husband doesn't talk to me about religion, but I'm afraid that now that I've stopped going to church, he might decide to take them in my place. My mom knows my situation. She even sympathized with me about the VBS thing. Anyway, I see I've said more than I meant to say. Thank you again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 *sigh* I can see most of you don't live in the southern US. The situation is very complicated. My husband is still a believer. He thinks my son should go to VBS. Also, my husband is self-employed. The other child's father is a potential customer in a very big way. If that were not the case, I would have thanked them for the invite, and then just not have sent my son at all, especially since he didn't want to go. The area in which we live is very, extremely baptist. It would definitely not go over well to openly express my disbelief. Since I'm not feeling very welcome here also, I'm thinking perhaps I should move on. Thanks for all the replies. Maybe some other activity you find would preclude your child from attending....scheduling conflict. :-) Believe me, when I stood there at my door with my mouth hanging open, I was wracking my brain to come up with an excuse. Of course, my kids were standing right there, though, and I don't like to lie in front of them. If they weren't there, I would have been sorely tempted to make something up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted June 24, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted June 24, 2014 Chez, my son went to VBS a couple of weeks ago because his babysitter was teaching it and we really didn't have any other choice. He sang a song he learned there for a few days afterwards and he had a lot of questions about god and jesus. I never really worried too much about it because I know that whatever bits and pieces he picked up there will be off-set by the constant application of critical thinking that goes on in our home. He already knows that simple claims aren't good enough and that proof and evidence need to be demanded. Your kids will learn by watching what you do. I read to my son every night and we read stories from different religions and mythological traditions. He sees the christ myth the same as the others about Zeus, Thor, and Krishna. I guess what I'm trying to say is that small doses of religion can act as an innoculant, much like attenuated viruses used in vaccines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 *sigh* I can see most of you don't live in the southern US. The situation is very complicated. My husband is still a believer. He thinks my son should go to VBS. Also, my husband is self-employed. The other child's father is a potential customer in a very big way. If that were not the case, I would have thanked them for the invite, and then just not have sent my son at all, especially since he didn't want to go. The area in which we live is very, extremely baptist. It would definitely not go over well to openly express my disbelief. Since I'm not feeling very welcome here also, I'm thinking perhaps I should move on. Thanks for all the replies. Clearly I'm not from there; and it's in the nature of a site like this to attract people from many places, with many experiences and many viewpoints. Some may be likened in their preferred approach to the Samurai - off into battle in full panoply. Others will take an approach more like the Ninja - secretly move in, secretly move out, and, as far as possible, leave not a trace of your passing . The advantage is that you can look at all sorts of advice and take what seems best to a scenario which, in the end, only you can fully understand. That some will advise what you consider to be unfeasible or seem not to comprehend where you are coming from is not an issue of your being unwelcome; it's just advice that did not gel with your particular outlook and situation. In the end, if you were unwelcome, there would have been no replies. The replies are an indication of peoples' concern. Of course, moving on or not is up to you. But please think before you jump, and don't take to heart something that (in all probability) was not meant unkindly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 Chez, my son went to VBS a couple of weeks ago because his babysitter was teaching it and we really didn't have any other choice. He sang a song he learned there for a few days afterwards and he had a lot of questions about god and jesus. I never really worried too much about it because I know that whatever bits and pieces he picked up there will be off-set by the constant application of critical thinking that goes on in our home. He already knows that simple claims aren't good enough and that proof and evidence need to be demanded. Your kids will learn by watching what you do. I read to my son every night and we read stories from different religions and mythological traditions. He sees the christ myth the same as the others about Zeus, Thor, and Krishna. I guess what I'm trying to say is that small doses of religion can act as an innoculant, much like attenuated viruses used in vaccines. I'm afraid both of mine have been heavily indoctrinated, and not by me. They attend a Christian school and it's very fundamentalist. My oldest son's teacher refused to teach evolution to them and told them the concept was ridiculous. Of course, I set him straight about that right away, but this is what I'm dealing with. I'm torn between telling him what I think, and letting them tell him what to think. He has to take bible class and chapel once a week. I tried, 2 years ago, to pull them both out. They went to public school for a week. It was awful. I couldn't let them stay there. I considered home schooling, but my husband was dead-set against it. We're passed the "read to them every night" phase. They are both avid readers themselves. Youngest has taken to reading the bible every night, even though I've never encouraged such a thing. In all probability, though, it doesn't make much sense to him, since it's the KJV. He told me he wants to go to a non-denominational church like they do at school. In the end, I hope it will work itself out. I'm pretty sure it will with my oldest. I will explain what I think to both of them when they ask. I want it to come from them, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 *sigh* I can see most of you don't live in the southern US. The situation is very complicated. My husband is still a believer. He thinks my son should go to VBS. Also, my husband is self-employed. The other child's father is a potential customer in a very big way. If that were not the case, I would have thanked them for the invite, and then just not have sent my son at all, especially since he didn't want to go. The area in which we live is very, extremely baptist. It would definitely not go over well to openly express my disbelief. Since I'm not feeling very welcome here also, I'm thinking perhaps I should move on. Thanks for all the replies. Clearly I'm not from there; and it's in the nature of a site like this to attract people from many places, with many experiences and many viewpoints. Some may be likened in their preferred approach to the Samurai - off into battle in full panoply. Others will take an approach more like the Ninja - secretly move in, secretly move out, and, as far as possible, leave not a trace of your passing . The advantage is that you can look at all sorts of advice and take what seems best to a scenario which, in the end, only you can fully understand. That some will advise what you consider to be unfeasible or seem not to comprehend where you are coming from is not an issue of your being unwelcome; it's just advice that did not gel with your particular outlook and situation. In the end, if you were unwelcome, there would have been no replies. The replies are an indication of peoples' concern. Of course, moving on or not is up to you. But please think before you jump, and don't take to heart something that (in all probability) was not meant unkindly. I think you are exactly right. What seemed to me as harsh, was probably not meant that way. It's been a hard transition for me in the last few months, and I'm afraid I took it the wrong way. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Encourage them to read a variety of literature and always question things and value their own conclusions about religion and philosophy. Not just accept doctrine out of fear. Their mom being a non-believer will have a huge impact on how they think in their adult years. If their mom doesnt impress some ridiculous importance on the teachings of Christianity they wont consider it that important themselves, even though they may be going to a Christian school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 Encourage them to read a variety of literature and always question things and value their own conclusions about religion and philosophy. Not just accept doctrine out of fear. I'm trying. I never liked the fear angle the church likes to use. I've already told both of them so. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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