LukeExChristian Posted July 10, 2014 Author Share Posted July 10, 2014 all very very great advice, except the lying doesn't sit well with me. what fo you mean "she'll have lots of pressure"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeExChristian Posted July 10, 2014 Author Share Posted July 10, 2014 Luke, If you want to raise your success rate with women, don't be clingy, too serious, at least at first, don't vomit your whole life before them, use good grooming, and do something that most young people don't do, and that is the little things such as holding the door for them, don't text them, CALL THEM AND HAVE A REAL VOICE CONVERSATION. When you first meet them, make it fun. Tease them, not mean, just kind of silly or playfully. Find something to tease them about. I will give you a quick example I have given on here many times. I was sitting at the bar of a restaurant a few years ago in Tallahassee FL. There was a HOT women wearing a party dress who came in and ordered a drink. She was so hot she looked as if she stepped out of a magazine. When she pulled her ID out, I immediately with a half grin said to her and the bar tender...."It's a fake"...she replied..."It is not"...I said..."SURE IT IS"...she emphatically said..."IT IS NOT"...she showed me her DL...and I said,.."YEP...a good fake".... To cut to the chase here and not make this longer than needed, we went back and forth for awhile just me teasing her and being a little silly with her. She was laughing as I was teasing her. After having a normal conversation with her mixed with the silly teasing, she then started to leave...I shouted to her..."DON'T FORGET THAT FAKE ID"...She yelled back..."IT IS NOT"...but then to even my surprise, she came back, wrote her phone number and email address on a napkin and handed to me. My whole purpose was just to tease her and have fun, she must have been more attracted than I thought. If they are playing along, they are not rejecting you and you just have to make the moves. Not hard, some guys just want to make it hard. EDIT...this guy does and excellent job of what I speak of: rrgh... that video made me cringe... but i get the point. i think but i'll try something a little more... high-class? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottsman Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 all very very great advice, except the lying doesn't sit well with me. what fo you mean "she'll have lots of pressure"? She may think she's not good enough to be your first. She may feel you will be overwhelmed emotionally and become really clingy. Lots of reason. I lied to the girl im with now. She said she was very relieved. Trust me. You dont have to lie, you will just learn a very hard lesson I am trying to help you avoid. Besides its an innocent lie. If you werent a virgin and you lied and said you were, that is horrible because std's etc. if you are and say you arent, its completely harmless. Worst case scenario, she leaves unsatisfied. You dont have to make it an elaborate lie, but you will need to lie. 99/100 women wont sleep with a virgin guy. Dont roll the dice. The women on here are probably the 1/100, but this is the real world we're talking about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gall Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 all very very great advice, except the lying doesn't sit well with me. what fo you mean "she'll have lots of pressure"? She may think she's not good enough to be your first. She may feel you will be overwhelmed emotionally and become really clingy. Lots of reason. I lied to the girl im with now. She said she was very relieved. Trust me. You dont have to lie, you will just learn a very hard lesson I am trying to help you avoid. Besides its an innocent lie. If you werent a virgin and you lied and said you were, that is horrible because std's etc. if you are and say you arent, its completely harmless. Worst case scenario, she leaves unsatisfied. You dont have to make it an elaborate lie, but you will need to lie. 99/100 women wont sleep with a virgin guy. Dont roll the dice. The women on here are probably the 1/100, but this is the real world we're talking about. yeah it is the real world... his real world and while you may lie in yours don't council others to lie for any reason. I could care less what good befell you because of your deciet but the world is already full of assholes who will lie over anything just to "get their way" or "help someone else by saving them the trouble". Really it isn't helping but do anything except breed generations of lying cheating lazy assholes. OP Don't feel like you ever have to lie to a girl. The girl that will be best for you won't need you to lie or want you to. No one is saying volunteer any and everything right of the bat silence is great sometimes or avoiding an answer but boldly lying just to get your way is simply cheating someone. there is no innocence about it. Guys will tell you all day this is ok behavior and probably many girls. Most people I know lie constantly and are not even good at it. Probably why I don't interact with very many people anymore. Roll the dice on everything. learn to throw them well if you want a favored outcome more often but remember the future is not written and all we say and do is a variable. Anything or nothing could be your outcome or something in between... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeExChristian Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 where should i go for a chance to talk to girls? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottsman Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 where should i go for a chance to talk to girls? City? Interests? You dont have to just talk to girls you find attractive. Talk to girls you arent attracted to. Talk to the nice old lady at the grocery store. Flirt with the odd older woman. If you only flirt with the intention of a relationship or sexytime, you'll be scared to mess up. If you flirt and make eye contact even with girls you arent interested in, you get practice and comfortable with it. Hell, just get yourself comfortable with holding eye contact. I remember a stunning girl i used to play soccer with. I knew she would NEVER date me. But I would flirt and hold eye contact as long as I could. Just to practice. Then I found out she was into me. Summary. Practice practice practice. With anyone and everyone. Sure the you wont date the 43 year old sales rep who just stopped in, but you will make her week by flirting with her and get some valuable lessons in the process. Dont talk about the weather, just a bit of very light teasing. And eye contact! You'd surprised how far that will get you. You will try. You will fail. But there are over 3 billion women in the world. Do it with complete strangers. You'll never see them again anyway. There is no catchall that will get all women. There is however friendly conversation and eye contact. Completely harmless and good fun for everyone. Remember dont just talk to people you find attractive. You will be too nervous. Talk to everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeExChristian Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 thank you all of you for your wonderful advice! all of your support is absolutely overwhelming having coming out of fundy brainwashing. i'll try to speak up to girls. wish me luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottsman Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 I would actually like to recant my previous advice about lying. Came clean to the gf about being a virgin. She was understanding. She just left and I lost my virginity literally an hour ago. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeExChristian Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 I would actually like to recant my previous advice about lying. Came clean to the gf about being a virgin. She was understanding. She just left and I lost my virginity literally an hour ago. i am glad it worked out. i very understand why lying about it would seem like a good idea. i won't hold that against you. but i would really hate for my partner someday to feel like she has to hide something from me also Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voice Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 The best thing you can do, Luke, is start meeting girls you like. You should be able to find ones who like you too, but not all the ones you like will like you. You just have to start taking the knocks and bumps and trying. The ones who like you will work with you to develop friendships and relationships. The ones who don't won't. There are a million things to know about do's and don'ts, much of which you will have to just get in there and learn by doing, and by asking questions of others like you are here as your needs arise and you have more specific questions. The most important thing to pay attention to now is whether you and a girl like each other. That's grounds to build more. It's easy to know, it's in body language and eye contact. Mostly, be prepared to get your feelings hurt sometimes, it happens. Just get back on the horse and keep trying. As to just initially meeting girls, you have to talk to them. Be courteous, intelligent, treat them like human beings, and try to get good at making them laugh. You will probably be taken aback by their cycles, they have cycles, moods that rotate through a variety of colors, moods that will affect you emotionally too. The mistake most high school boys make is they don't account for this, they expect a woman to have the same moods all the time, then they get unreasonable, angry, jealous when the girls don't behave as they expect they should. You can predict a woman's mood cycles after a few months of observation. Just flow with it and be understanding. Be accommodating. When you feel filled with rage and confusion about where your friendship/relationship is going and what she's thinking, ask yourself, "hmm, didn't this same thing happen between us about a month ago?" That's pattern recognition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Treat girls as you wish to be treated. That should be easy enough. Yes, it can be that simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Treat girls as you wish to be treated. That should be easy enough. Yes, it can be that simple. Deidre, I thought you gave up The Golden Rule and that Jesus-y stuff. Just kidding. Here's what he's asking advice for: " i do not know what girls like. what girls ARE like. (for the most part) i do not know how i should go about making friends with them. or how to tell the nice ones from the insane bitches. or if it's something i should concern myself with." Can you explain to him "how to tell the nice ones from the insane bitches"? My opinion on that, fwiw. The phrase ''insane bitches'' is usually something delusional men come up with after a chick has dumped them to save face to others who ask 'what happened?' I've known guys who have claimed to have 'stalkers,' etc...most of the time, it's not true. And if it is true, why do they keep attracting ''insane bitches?'' Water tends to seek its own level. There's my thought on that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Treat girls as you wish to be treated. That should be easy enough. Yes, it can be that simple. Deidre, I thought you gave up The Golden Rule and that Jesus-y stuff. Just kidding. Here's what he's asking advice for: " i do not know what girls like. what girls ARE like. (for the most part) i do not know how i should go about making friends with them. or how to tell the nice ones from the insane bitches. or if it's something i should concern myself with." Can you explain to him "how to tell the nice ones from the insane bitches"? My opinion on that, fwiw. The phrase ''insane bitches'' is usually something delusional men come up with after a chick has dumped them to save face to others who ask 'what happened?' I've known guys who have claimed to have 'stalkers,' etc...most of the time, it's not true. And if it is true, why do they keep attracting ''insane bitches?'' Water tends to seek its own level. There's my thought on that. Well, Deidre, I don't know the details of Luke's background and the women he's known. But there you go, Luke: a woman's perspective on your issue. Be yourself, be kind to all people you meet. If someone takes advantage of you, move on. Don't waste time with users. That'd be my advice to someone who is just starting out in the dating world. But, to assume there are two 'categories' of women...'insane bitches vs nice women,' that's just not a good way to go about it, in my view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Treat girls as you wish to be treated. That should be easy enough. Yes, it can be that simple. Deidre, I thought you gave up The Golden Rule and that Jesus-y stuff. Just kidding. Here's what he's asking advice for: " i do not know what girls like. what girls ARE like. (for the most part) i do not know how i should go about making friends with them. or how to tell the nice ones from the insane bitches. or if it's something i should concern myself with." Can you explain to him "how to tell the nice ones from the insane bitches"? My opinion on that, fwiw. The phrase ''insane bitches'' is usually something delusional men come up with after a chick has dumped them to save face to others who ask 'what happened?' I've known guys who have claimed to have 'stalkers,' etc...most of the time, it's not true. And if it is true, why do they keep attracting ''insane bitches?'' Water tends to seek its own level. There's my thought on that. Well, Deidre, I don't know the details of Luke's background and the women he's known. But there you go, Luke: a woman's perspective on your issue. Be yourself, be kind to all people you meet. If someone takes advantage of you, move on. Don't waste time with users. That'd be my advice to someone who is just starting out in the dating world. But, to assume there are two 'categories' of women...'insane bitches vs nice women,' that's just not a good way to go about it, in my view. Hey, Luke, even more good advice from Deidre. Hey, Deidre, I think I'll follow your advice here too. (I'm not starting out, of course; but I'm starting over.) Thanks for helping Luke out. Human good dating should be fun. I have a great time with it. as long as it doesn't turn too serious...but that's another story. good luck to you luke (and human) with dating. don't stress and overthink it. you're bound to end up in a disastrous situation, if you overthink it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 deleted comment, as to not be misconstrued ... good luck to you, Luke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeExChristian Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 deleted comment, as to not be misconstrued ... good luck to you, Luke. thank you SO much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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