Cerise Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 stay here for now. I know you don’t want to. I’m not going to say that it’s not that bad. because it probably is. I’m not going to say that it will get better. because maybe it has to get worse before it can get better. who really knows what ‘better’ means anyway? is it a magical code word? the fucking balm in gilead? am I going to just run a hand through my hair one night and say "thank god that’s over with." and then dream Ricky Martin dreams? what the hell is ‘better’? if I don’t cut myself to see if my blood is still red is that ‘better’? if I can sleep through the night without a baseball bat under the bed is that ‘better’? if I let my used body relax its tight security measures that came on too late in the game and don’t want to shut off now that it’s over will that be ‘better’? maybe ‘better’ is just another word for alive. hey, welcome to another day. you’re still among us, so I guess he didn’t defeat you. well I can’t leave yet, I’ve got shit to do dishes, laundry, save the world. that kind of stuff. I looked in the mirror yesterday and saw lil’ me inside the glass and tin. I wanted to break her out of that prison but she just shook her pigtailed head at me. and I looked at her face, so wounded and scared, so fragile and delicate, so strange and familiar, so certain and confused, and I wanted to cry because we both know who imprisoned her two jailers one of them is writing this poem. "what can I do?" I ask, and she trembles and pleads and the glass cracks a little. "stay here for now," she says. "I know you can’t promise forever." so I am writing this poem to let everybody know that I’m here right here for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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