Cianna200 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I'm afraid love is over rated. It doesn't live up to the stories and myths. To be sure it is wonderful to be in love - especially in the beginning when it is like being drunk all the time. But the euphoria doesn't last. Sex is overrated not love. That has not been my experience. Well sex is all over the place, and talked about all the time up to the point of morbid obsession. When I say love, I mean love for everyone, this is the key to survival. Sounds like Christian theology. Are you going to love the people who steal from you? Are you going to love those who molest children? Are you going to love rapists? There are some horrible people out there. The key to survival is protecting our family from those who would harm them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Christians teach conditional love, and yes you must love these people, as something terrible must have happened to them before they committed these horrible crimes, these people obviously were never taught the importance of love and kindness and the dangers of hatred and cruelty. It is like saying you will stop loving your child if they ever stole from you or committed a crime. If fear is your motivation to do things than you are not going get very far in life. Christians teach fear, they judge constantly, believe everyone is wicked unworthy sinners, and in the past, killed those who did not agree with them, they teach eternal hell for those who are different, and this is love? If everyone hated each other, the world would fall into intense darkness. Love will save this world, the people who have this love are saving the world, while those who bear hatred for anyone, is helping to destroy it. I have two children. I do love them. There are at least seven billion people on this planet that are not my children. I am not able to love the vast majority of them. Heck, in my life I only get to meet about one per million and so far plenty of them have been rude. You are not effected by how much affection I have for the rest of world so why care? Whether or not your fellow human has enough love for humanity is a thought issue. Why worry about thoughts? There are many different motives besides fear, hate and love. You seem to paint everything as black or white. The world is nuanced with many other shades and colors. People resisting their sexual appetites will not make the world a better place. Working directly on problems is what fixes problems. Well sex is all over the place, and talked about all the time up to the point of morbid obsession. Sex is real and a source of pleasure that is almost as powerful as drugs. I don't know why you find it morbid. Sex usually doesn't involve death and there are methods to resist disease. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Some of these posts are sad. I think that we can't escape for many of us, the indoctrinated view of sexuality handed to us by Christianity. Breaking free from all that "dogma" is a challenge. Thinking that love and sex need to go together is a religious concept. Thinking that sex should only be a want and not a need, is a religious concept not a biological one. A person who enjoys sex isn't somehow less virtuous that someone who is abstains from it. These notions are all religion-based and to say otherwise, you might be lying to yourself. Religion really fucks up a lot of good things up, sadly. Sexuality in and of itself is a healthy and positive thing. Certainly, some abuse it. But for terms like abuse and rape to be terms that pop into one's mind when describing sexuality is a sad thing to me, and what a shame to view it in such a negative light. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 My votes: PRO: love PRO: consensual sex among adults PRO: tickling my taco Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtify Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 The bible doesn't say that masturbation is wrong anyway! But still, almost every denomination treats it like it's a sin, atleast to some extent. It seems to me that christianity thrives off human misery and so the issue is more that masturbation is enjoyable, soothing, and causes a person to feel relaxed afterwards. That's in direct competition with the cure that christianity sells. Church leadership has a vested interest in making you feel chronic guilt, fear and shame. They want you empty, broken and coming back to the altar to be "filled" with the spirit. And before coming to said altar, don't forget to drop some cash in the plate. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToHellWithMe Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 masturbation is enjoyable, soothing, and causes a person to feel relaxedKinda like doing certain drugs really, aye? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtify Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I believe the Christian community can help women like Angela and Jasmine break free. Like all of us, these women need places where they can develop intimate nonsexual friendships and also healthy ways of coping with the inevitable stresses of life. They need places where they're known, loved, and belong—places where there's no need to put on masks or put up walls. They need safe places to be whether in sickness or in health. How would this stop someone from masturbating? For me, having only non-sexual friendships and a safe place would only make me want to more. I read the article again and all the sad comments that followed on the christianity today website. It seems that many christians now say that masturbation isn't wrong unless you have lustful thoughts at the same time. So long as you are only touching yourself and not using your mind to think about anything sexual or anyone sexually, then you are not sinning. Can this even be done? It's just so stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I believe the Christian community can help women like Angela and Jasmine break free. Like all of us, these women need places where they can develop intimate nonsexual friendships and also healthy ways of coping with the inevitable stresses of life. They need places where they're known, loved, and belong—places where there's no need to put on masks or put up walls. They need safe places to be whether in sickness or in health. How would this stop someone from masturbating? For me, having only non-sexual friendships and a safe place would only make me want to more. I read the article again and all the sad comments that followed on the christianity today website. It seems that many christians now say that masturbation isn't wrong unless you have lustful thoughts at the same time. So long as you are only touching yourself and not using your mind to think about anything sexual or anyone sexually, then you are not sinning. Can this even be done? It's just so stupid. Silly Christians! And yes, that was the way they explained it to me when I was a teen as well. Thought crime is a horrible thing to worry about. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cianna200 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Christians teach conditional love, and yes you must love these people, as something terrible must have happened to them before they committed these horrible crimes, these people obviously were never taught the importance of love and kindness and the dangers of hatred and cruelty. It is like saying you will stop loving your child if they ever stole from you or committed a crime. If fear is your motivation to do things than you are not going get very far in life. Christians teach fear, they judge constantly, believe everyone is wicked unworthy sinners, and in the past, killed those who did not agree with them, they teach eternal hell for those who are different, and this is love? If everyone hated each other, the world would fall into intense darkness. Love will save this world, the people who have this love are saving the world, while those who bear hatred for anyone, is helping to destroy it. I have two children. I do love them. There are at least seven billion people on this planet that are not my children. I am not able to love the vast majority of them. Heck, in my life I only get to meet about one per million and so far plenty of them have been rude. You are not effected by how much affection I have for the rest of world so why care? Whether or not your fellow human has enough love for humanity is a thought issue. Why worry about thoughts? There are many different motives besides fear, hate and love. You seem to paint everything as black or white. The world is nuanced with many other shades and colors. People resisting their sexual appetites will not make the world a better place. Working directly on problems is what fixes problems. Well sex is all over the place, and talked about all the time up to the point of morbid obsession. Sex is real and a source of pleasure that is almost as powerful as drugs. I don't know why you find it morbid. Sex usually doesn't involve death and there are methods to resist disease. Depressing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawn Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Have you been sexually abused Cianna200, or had someone close to you abused? If so, I can totaly understand why you feel the way you do. If not, then well, your aversion to sex is very strange and neurotic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToHellWithMe Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 DepressingWhy focus on the negative? Would you go around listening to heroin addicts tell you how awesome heroin is and that your life is missing long moments of pure bliss? There will always be addicts, and the trick is to marginalize and shun them and enjoy your greater freedom. To listen to them is to listen to the tempting tongue of the devil, if I may entertain you with some christianese. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtify Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 "...the tempting tongue of the devil..." mmmmm 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cianna200 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 DepressingWhy focus on the negative? Would you go around listening to heroin addicts tell you how awesome heroin is and that your life is missing long moments of pure bliss? There will always be addicts, and the trick is to marginalize and shun them and enjoy your greater freedom. To listen to them is to listen to the tempting tongue of the devil, if I may entertain you with some christianese. I have no freedom, I am a mentally trapped person in a abusive home with all ways out leading to the negative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cianna200 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Have you been sexually abused Cianna200, or had someone close to you abused? If so, I can totaly understand why you feel the way you do. If not, then well, your aversion to sex is very strange and neurotic. No I got sexually harassed, and find the fact that a world that revolves around sex and money, is not easy to live in, making me an outcast, obsession isn't good for people. I find sex disgusting and drug like, but of course many will defend it because they, well, ENJOY, it. Just like there are many defending school, Christianity, money, violence and etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Have you been sexually abused Cianna200, or had someone close to you abused? If so, I can totaly understand why you feel the way you do. If not, then well, your aversion to sex is very strange and neurotic. No I got sexually harassed, and find the fact that a world that revolves around sex and money, is not easy to live in, making me an outcast, obsession isn't good for people. I find sex disgusting and drug like, but of course many will defend it because they, well, ENJOY, it. Just like there are many defending school, Christianity, money, violence and etc. Sex is something to enjoy once you have your basic survival needs met, like food, clothing, shelter, such as living in a safe home environment. If you don't have the basics sorted out, then sex is not important. Also, if you've been raised in a strict fundamentalist home, you most likely have views about sex that aren't all that healthy. It takes time to recover from such an upbringing. I hope you can create a safe home environment as soon as possible and then you can focus on slowly undoing the xian brainwashing about everything, including sex. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtify Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Have you been sexually abused Cianna200, or had someone close to you abused? If so, I can totaly understand why you feel the way you do. If not, then well, your aversion to sex is very strange and neurotic. No I got sexually harassed, and find the fact that a world that revolves around sex and money, is not easy to live in, making me an outcast, obsession isn't good for people. I find sex disgusting and drug like, but of course many will defend it because they, well, ENJOY, it. Just like there are many defending school, Christianity, money, violence and etc. I'm sorry that you don't like sex, but many/most other people do. I find it rather judgemental that you think there is something wrong with people for finding enjoyment in sex. Like what Freethinker just said, I hope you can grow past this point and accept that sex is a part of life (one of the best parts lol). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cianna200 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Have you been sexually abused Cianna200, or had someone close to you abused? If so, I can totaly understand why you feel the way you do. If not, then well, your aversion to sex is very strange and neurotic. No I got sexually harassed, and find the fact that a world that revolves around sex and money, is not easy to live in, making me an outcast, obsession isn't good for people. I find sex disgusting and drug like, but of course many will defend it because they, well, ENJOY, it. Just like there are many defending school, Christianity, money, violence and etc. Sex is something to enjoy once you have your basic survival needs met, like food, clothing, shelter, such as living in a safe home environment. If you don't have the basics sorted out, then sex is not important. Also, if you've been raised in a strict fundamentalist home, you most likely have views about sex that aren't all that healthy. It takes time to recover from such an upbringing. I hope you can create a safe home environment as soon as possible and then you can focus on slowly undoing the xian brainwashing about everything, including sex. It's not Christianity, the whole sex is everything notion, has got me stumbled my Beliefs are Sex is just sex, until it becomes a universal brainwashing tool The love of money is the root of all evil School is not based on learning, it is based on obedience Christianity is based on hell, not love Spiritual hatred is poisonous and spiritual love is the most important thing in life Intelligence is based on imagination and examination, not knowledge which is just something you picked up Common sense is lost when we refuse to think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cianna200 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Have you been sexually abused Cianna200, or had someone close to you abused? If so, I can totaly understand why you feel the way you do. If not, then well, your aversion to sex is very strange and neurotic. No I got sexually harassed, and find the fact that a world that revolves around sex and money, is not easy to live in, making me an outcast, obsession isn't good for people. I find sex disgusting and drug like, but of course many will defend it because they, well, ENJOY, it. Just like there are many defending school, Christianity, money, violence and etc. I'm sorry that you don't like sex, but many/most other people do. I find it rather judgemental that you think there is something wrong with people for finding enjoyment in sex. Like what Freethinker just said, I hope you can grow past this point and accept that sex is a part of life (one of the best parts lol). Nooo, I said sexual obsession is bad, not sex in itself, when you take something to the extreme it is not so good anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bfuddled Posted July 16, 2014 Author Share Posted July 16, 2014 Have you been sexually abused Cianna200, or had someone close to you abused? If so, I can totaly understand why you feel the way you do. If not, then well, your aversion to sex is very strange and neurotic. No I got sexually harassed, and find the fact that a world that revolves around sex and money, is not easy to live in, making me an outcast, obsession isn't good for people. I find sex disgusting and drug like, but of course many will defend it because they, well, ENJOY, it. Just like there are many defending school, Christianity, money, violence and etc. I'm sorry that you had to experience that. I know from personal experience how that can warp and distort your view/feelings about sex, even decades after it has occured. Add onto that the guilt/shame already inherent in the Christian religion along with their totally screwed up opinions on sexual activity, and you have a recipe for an extremely skewed view about sex. Have you ever seen a professional therapist to address possible issues from the experience? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToHellWithMe Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 No I got sexually harassed, and find the fact that a world that revolves around sex and money, is not easy to live in, making me an outcast, obsession isn't good for people. I find sex disgusting and drug like, but of course many will defend it because they, well, ENJOY, it. Just like there are many defending school, Christianity, money, violence and etc. Damn. You even find school questionable? I'm starting to like you. Keep up the good principles, please, as long as they're truly worth something to you. If you are very young, my advice to you would be to be ruthlessly honest to yourself about it, ie what actually moves you. Be its implications to you about yourself however disappointing. To be yourself is to be liberated and happy, even if you happen to suck as a human being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cianna200 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I apologize to everyone for my seemingly anti sex ways, I think I am just a paranoid person, you have my heartfelt apology 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I apologize to everyone for my seemingly anti sex ways, I think I am just a paranoid person, you have my heartfelt apology You don't need to apologize for having opinions. You were not rude. It's all good. We are just talking. No worries. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neverlandrut Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 Have you been sexually abused Cianna200, or had someone close to you abused? If so, I can totaly understand why you feel the way you do. If not, then well, your aversion to sex is very strange and neurotic. No I got sexually harassed, and find the fact that a world that revolves around sex and money, is not easy to live in, making me an outcast, obsession isn't good for people. I find sex disgusting and drug like, but of course many will defend it because they, well, ENJOY, it.Just like there are many defending school, Christianity, money, violence and etc. As a man, yes, I have a pretty strong sex drive but it is hardly the center of my world. Many more important things hold my attention on a day to day basis. And I don't view my wife or women in general as mere objects of pleasure. I see my wife as a human being and my fellow partner in life first. Our sex life is second to that and is a thing of mutual respect and satisfaction. The fact that you see the world as revolving around sex and money sounds more like your upbringing speaking rather than an objective evaluation of the world. That's not to say that sex and money don't permeate western culture, because they do. But they are hardly the majority of our cultural focus. There's much more going on than just those two things. Humans are sexual beings. Sex differs from a drug in that it is necessary for human survival and has many health benefits when enjoyed. I don't look down on you for not enjoying sex. I suppose that there can be a legitimately healthy lack of desire for it. To each his/her own. But the way you demonize it suggests an unhealthy disdain for it. If you aren't interested in sex, why the strong feelings against it? You say people are obsessed. Yes, some are. Some are obsessed with the internet and with feminist causes. Obsession is relative. And the majority of people in the world are not obsessed with sex but yet have a healthy enjoyment of it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtify Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 Why females masturbate... ...because we are horny 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neverlandrut Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 Why females masturbate... ...because we are horny Finally! Back on topic ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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