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Goodbye Jesus

My Story, Such As It Is


Castiel233

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This is not a long testimony. I shall try and keep as accurate as I can remember it.

 

 

During my teenage years, I worked with a evangelic Christian, who assured me of the reality of Hell and the wrath of God.

 

This sort of pressure and mental abuse, led, to no ones surprise, I am sure, a massive nervous breakdown. I developed OCD and was hospitalised for it. At the time although I wasn't given a formal diagnosis (this was the early 90’s) I was successfully medicated and returned home. Naturally the damage of having Christianity inflicted on me during my formative years was highly destructive and I had several relapses. Although I am 95% OK now, I have no doubt the fear of the “loving” God has blighted my life and robbed me of so much peace of mind. I still suffer from low self esteem.

 

To be honest with oneself is important. Now The Christian faith may be true. I do not know. But I know I do not like it. The late American entertainer Steve Allen once said something along the lines that he thought the God of the Bible was a being a pure love and kindness, yet when he went through the Bible he was horrified at the Deity it portrayed. The late author Ruth  Hurmence Green, leafed through The Bible while recovering from cancer. She said that it was filled with violence and depravity and was a dangerous book. I felt (and feel) the same way.

 

The Bible promises that most people, in fact almost everyone will go to Hell. It sneers and spits on the heart of Humanity and its God is a being of the purest evil. Calling Him good, doesn't make it true.  He Hates His  creatures and visits upon them cruel and painful illnesses no matter how kind they are. He sits and watches while children starve to death in Africa. He chooses not to help. Not content with hating us in this world, He intends to torture forever in the next. A god who shields and protects the kind, compassionate and gentle is a God worthy of love. A God who hurts and frightens the helpless is not worthy of our love. Robert Green Ingersoll said the Christian God should be hated, not loved. Christians who say they love Him are lying to themselves and to others.

 

I cannot love a monster, no matter what it threatens. I know this to be true.

 

Thank you so much for reading. The support and encouragement of the free thought community has been a great help to me.

 

Blessing to all of you, who seek to lift your fellow creatures out of fear and misery

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I sure can see where you are coming from. At thirteen I had at best pocket change and rode a Schwinn bicycle. I had an older fundamentalist born again friend that had a GTO and a big wad of green in his wallet. Older and supposedly wiser every time we were alone for even two minutes, here it came again.  It went a bit like this; it sure is hot today, have you ever thought about what it would be like to be on fire with no way to put it out? Jesus is trying to save you from being burned for eternity. Then it would always end with him putting his hands on me and praying that I would open my heart. Every stinking moment I was around him I knew what was surely coming soon. He has mellowed a bit over the years after several decades and told me a year or so ago that I must have hated being around him. He is still a Christian, but prefers a love approach to the hell fire approach he used on me. My late teens and twenties were miserable from guilt. Too bad we didn't have the internet then to accurately see the holes in his reasoning and ask him some very troubling questions like the ones I would have for him today.

    I guess I thought he was right at the time, but now that I have seen both sides of the coin, my eyes have really been opened to a whole new enlightening world of reality. It was around a five year trip to total recovery, but now one of my goals is to return the favor to the theists at every opportunity with quite a large assortment of points that they would prefer weren't brought up.

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This is not a long testimony. I shall try and keep as accurate as I can remember it.

 

 

During my teenage years, I worked with a evangelic Christian, who assured me of the reality of Hell and the wrath of God.

 

This sort of pressure and mental abuse, led, to no ones surprise, I am sure, a massive nervous breakdown. I developed OCD and was hospitalised for it. At the time although I wasn't given a formal diagnosis (this was the early 90’s) I was successfully medicated and returned home. Naturally the damage of having Christianity inflicted on me during my formative years was highly destructive and I had several relapses. Although I am 95% OK now, I have no doubt the fear of the “loving” God has blighted my life and robbed me of so much peace of mind. I still suffer from low self esteem.

 

To be honest with oneself is important. Now The Christian faith may be true. I do not know. But I know I do not like it. The late American entertainer Steve Allen once said something along the lines that he thought the God of the Bible was a being a pure love and kindness, yet when he went through the Bible he was horrified at the Deity it portrayed. The late author Ruth  Hurmence Green, leafed through The Bible while recovering from cancer. She said that it was filled with violence and depravity and was a dangerous book. I felt (and feel) the same way.

 

The Bible promises that most people, in fact almost everyone will go to Hell. It sneers and spits on the heart of Humanity and its God is a being of the purest evil. Calling Him good, doesn't make it true.  He Hates His  creatures and visits upon them cruel and painful illnesses no matter how kind they are. He sits and watches while children starve to death in Africa. He chooses not to help. Not content with hating us in this world, He intends to torture forever in the next. A god who shields and protects the kind, compassionate and gentle is a God worthy of love. A God who hurts and frightens the helpless is not worthy of our love. Robert Green Ingersoll said the Christian God should be hated, not loved. Christians who say they love Him are lying to themselves and to others.

 

I cannot love a monster, no matter what it threatens. I know this to be true.

 

Thank you so much for reading. The support and encouragement of the free thought community has been a great help to me.

 

Blessing to all of you, who seek to lift your fellow creatures out of fear and misery

Perhaps you could start with a new premise, even if only temporarily to see how it goes:

 

Christianity is mythology.

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I hope it is mythology, but it was presented as real and the mental suffering it caused me (and causes others is very real).I do not know if it is real or not, I hope it is not, but that is a different thing from knowing.

 

On a side note, Charles Bradlaugh was a fierce Bible Critic and all round good guy of the 19th century. He was considered the most famous atheist in England. He felt that The Bible was a mix of folklore and real History, but much of it was false.

 

When his daughter died before him, Christians cruelly mocked him, by pointing out that according to his own creed, she was just dead and he would never see her again (Christian love in action, huh). He responded by saying that according to their creed, “Many are called. Few are chosen” so guess where they and there loved ones were going!!

 

Real or not, Christianity is unbelievably cruel and nasty. Its God is sadistic, unreasonable and all but impossible to please. A god who creates us without our permission, and makes us immortal after death for the sole purpose of hurting us.  If this is not the very definition of evil, then I don’t know what is. 

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I sure can see where you are coming from. At thirteen I had at best pocket change and rode a Schwinn bicycle. I had an older fundamentalist born again friend that had a GTO and a big wad of green in his wallet. Older and supposedly wiser every time we were alone for even two minutes, here it came again.  It went a bit like this; it sure is hot today, have you ever thought about what it would be like to be on fire with no way to put it out? Jesus is trying to save you from being burned for eternity. 

This is the nastiness of Christianity, the whole God saves you from God. I wish Christians could see the tremendous amount of harming they do to people.

 

I don't get preached at now, but in the past  when they tried it on, I would ask them to give me their money as Jesus tells them to. that usually cooled them right off, the bloody hypocrites 

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I hope it is mythology, but it was presented as real and the mental suffering it caused me 

 

Castie1233, Thanks for sharing with us. Christianity really is a mind F**k, isn't it? So many suffer today because of a  book of mythology and the whole world presents it to us at birth as a real story and real truth.

 

I remember the first time I tried to defend the bible against accusations. I was 19 years old. It was with my mom. She was a 'regular' United Church' christian (which didn't preach hell and brimstone) and I was trying to convert her to Pentecostalism because in my eyes now....she wasn't ''saved''...

 

She was going blind and couldn't read anymore so I went to the library and got her the 'talking bible' to listen too. She called me up in the middle of my working day and she was sooo upset. She said, 'Margee, the god of the old testament was a crazy fool? I was taken back by this. I said, ''Mom, what do you mean''? and she continued to open my eyes by telling me about the horrors of the old testament. Well I hadn't heard some of this in church? I knew he was kinda mean to certain peoples but I understood that it was man's fault. I defended god of course and told her all of the mess with the people in the old testament was because of the '''fall of man''. Mom was 'right on' back then and I didn't even know it because I was so blindsided by the Pentecostal church.

 

I always thought the book of Genesis was stupid even as a young new 'convert'. I thought for sure that any of us could have done a better job creating a nice earth.If I had been given Gods same powers of Omniscientness, Omnipotentness, and Omnipresentness, I would have made the earth a real nice paradise for us all to live in. . Why, you could do almost anything wonderful with these 3 powers!!

 

I'm so glad you're eyes were opened to the destruction of the bible. It' a big lie and that's hard to face. It's a book of mythology and definitely shows us  the ancient tribes and how they perceived the world. There's even some good little nuggets of wisdom in that book. But truth of the god of the universe? I don't think so. Now, you can get on with living a somewhat normal life as the sting of this lie sinks in and you take back a life of ''not being born in sin''. You'll find it a little bumpy along the road as you decide on your new 'world view'. 

 

Go and have fun today my friend. You are free. No more having to please the big Santa in the sky brings a lot of relief. EX-c is here for you and I'm so glad your here with us!!

 

hug.

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I hope it is mythology, but it was presented as real and the mental suffering it caused me 

 

Castie1233, Thanks for sharing with us. Christianity really is a mind F**k, isn't it? So many suffer today because of a  book of mythology and the whole world presents it to us at birth as a real story and real truth.

 

I remember the first time I tried to defend the bible against accusations. I was 19 years old. It was with my mom. She was a 'regular' United Church' christian (which didn't preach hell and brimstone) and I was trying to convert her to Pentecostalism because in my eyes now....she wasn't ''saved''...

 

She was going blind and couldn't read anymore so I went to the library and got her the 'talking bible' to listen too. She called me up in the middle of my working day and she was sooo upset. She said, 'Margee, the god of the old testament was a crazy fool? I was taken back by this. I said, ''Mom, what do you mean''? and she continued to open my eyes by telling me about the horrors of the old testament. Well I hadn't heard some of this in church? I knew he was kinda mean to certain peoples but I understood that it was man's fault. I defended god of course and told her all of the mess with the people in the old testament was because of the '''fall of man''. Mom was 'right on' back then and I didn't even know it because I was so blindsided by the Pentecostal church.

 

I always thought the book of Genesis was stupid even as a young new 'convert'. I thought for sure that any of us could have done a better job creating a nice earth.If I had been given Gods same powers of Omniscientness, Omnipotentness, and Omnipresentness, I would have made the earth a real nice paradise for us all to live in. . Why, you could do almost anything wonderful with these 3 powers!!

 

I'm so glad you're eyes were opened to the destruction of the bible. It' a big lie and that's hard to face. It's a book of mythology and definitely shows us  the ancient tribes and how they perceived the world. There's even some good little nuggets of wisdom in that book. But truth of the god of the universe? I don't think so. Now, you can get on with living a somewhat normal life as the sting of this lie sinks in and you take back a life of ''not being born in sin''. You'll find it a little bumpy along the road as you decide on your new 'world view'. 

 

Go and have fun today my friend. You are free. No more having to please the big Santa in the sky brings a lot of relief. EX-c is here for you and I'm so glad your here with us!!

 

hug.

 

Thanks for your support Margee. You are a star.

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To hope that Christians will see the harm they do is something of a vain hope I'm afraid.  Christianity is so twisted that it sees breaking down human personalities as a good thing and a victory, as it is that which brings about "true conversions".

 

It is truly an evil path

 

As to it being presented as true - indeed.  By people who know no better (and frankly think rather less clearly) than you.  Don't worry about the assertions of the prejudiced.

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It is truly an evil path

 

 

I am yet to read anything more evil than Christianity

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I'm sorry to read that. What happened to you was wrong and the people here are great. Christianity is nothing but mythology. It isn't true and f**ks with people's minds. 

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Hello Castiel.  I've read your posts here and elsewhere.  Many non-Christians, even ex-Christians, denounce Christianity merely because it is intellectually vacuous.  But I see that we share a belief that Christianity is objectively evil precisely because it teaches that humans are destined for eternal hell unless they practice the religion created by Jesus. I sense that you "get it" regarding why Christianity is bad and why it should be actively opposed. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts on Christianity. Thanks for sharing your story!

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Hello Castiel.  I've read your posts here and elsewhere.  Many non-Christians, even ex-Christians, denounce Christianity merely because it is intellectually vacuous.  But I see that we share a belief that Christianity is objectively evil precisely because it teaches that humans are destined for eternal hell unless they practice the religion created by Jesus. I sense that you "get it" regarding why Christianity is bad and why it should be actively opposed. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts on Christianity. Thanks for sharing your story!

Thanks for your kind post.

 

I cannot think of anything more evil that the Christian God. Period. The human race has a short memory, but Christianity has been tried in Europe, and the predictable result was chaos and misery. Christianity will never solve human suffering, because it glorifies suffering. To encourage suffering and delight in it, is evil and Yahweh has so much blood on His hands, even the blood of Jesus cannot wash it all off.

 

 Yahweh is a monster of "biblical" proportions. Christians are kidding themselves that they love this King of Depravity, this beast without mercy. This entity, who allowed dreadful suffering to be visited upon his loyal servant Job...just to win a fucking bet....wicked, wicked stuff....

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Christianity is objectively evil precisely because it teaches that humans are destined for eternal hell unless they practice the religion created by Jesus. 

 

 

This is another reason why I hate it.......its "gift" of "salvation" isn't even clear. It makes demands you can't obey, even if you really want to. You must be born of the spirit, you must have the inner witness of the holy ghost.....WTF, how on Earth am I supposed to do that. Of course the Bible expects you to follow all 631 commandments and (here's the kicker) expects you to be perfect. Breaking even one commandment is a bad as breaking all of them... what a crock. Christians claim, somewhat erroneously, that belief in Jesus is all that matters......neatly side-stepping the text  "many are called, few are chosen"  

 

On a side note: Judas was "called" and we all know how that worked out 

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This is another reason why I hate it.......its "gift" of "salvation" isn't even clear. It makes demands you can't obey, even if you really want to. You must be born of the spirit, you must have the inner witness of the holy ghost.....WTF, how on Earth am I supposed to do that. Of course the Bible expects you to follow all 631 commandments and (here's the kicker) expects you to be perfect. Breaking even one commandment is a bad as breaking all of them... what a crock. Christians claim, somewhat erroneously, that belief in Jesus is all that matters......neatly side-stepping the text  "many are called, few are chosen"  

 

 

 

 

On a side note: Judas was "called" and we all know how that worked out 

 

 

Indeed, such is the viscious con of Jesus.  Jesus demands perfection of his followers in order to be saved by merit, but sets the bar such that no mortal soul can achieve it, then holds out faith in himself as the only achievable means of escaping the worst fate imaginable to a human being (namely that of eternal conscious torment).  In so doing, he undermines the idea that one's deeds play any role whatsoever in our eternal fate.  How many hymns have we sung attesting that we have nothing to offer Jesus but menstural rags?  How many theologians have we read who liken the believer in Jesus to a pile of dung covered in snow?  All of this stems from the fatally flawed belief that one single sin can erase a lifetime of good works.  But because of this doctrine we are asked to believe that we are saved sola gratia and that the mechanism for this salvation is sola fide.

 

That is the trap.  How much faith is enough?  A mustard seed?  The answers given us follow from meaningless Biblical cliches such as "the indwelling of the Holy Spirit" and "Christ working within us."  Christians protest that salvation is accomplished by far more than intellectual assent and must be evidenced by sanctification.  But ultimately it really is just the intellectual assent; otherwise Christians would have to believe that there are some especially terrible sinners for whom the blood of Jesus is ineffectual.  The process of salvation ultimately becomes a hapless effort in properly deciphering the words of Jesus and his vile disciples.

 

Jesus invented the very notion of eternal conscious torment.  But for him, any individuals who proposed the idea prior to him would have been obscured by history, but his teachings alone survived.  Jesus is a hellhound eager to sink his teeth into human flesh, and every disciple he makes becomes twice as much as son of hell as himself.  I hope for a day when popular opinion grants Jesus his rightful place beside Hitler as one of the most wicked and morally depraved men to walk the earth.

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The Bible promises that most people, in fact almost everyone will go to Hell. It sneers and spits on the heart of Humanity and its God is a being of the purest evil. Calling Him good, doesn't make it true.  He Hates His  creatures and visits upon them cruel and painful illnesses no matter how kind they are. He sits and watches while children starve to death in Africa. He chooses not to help. Not content with hating us in this world, He intends to torture forever in the next.

 

 

I am reading a novel right now where the main character goes through a very frightening realization about the leader he's been following and trusting for most of his life.  He realizes that people have begun to suffer and die because of the decisions of the leader.  He says, "How do we know the man we've all been following isn't actually insane?"

 

What you find on the pages of your Bible is criminal insanity.  Christians, wake up, use your brains to analyze, your leader is insane!

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This is another reason why I hate it.......its "gift" of "salvation" isn't even clear. It makes demands you can't obey, even if you really want to. You must be born of the spirit, you must have the inner witness of the holy ghost.....WTF, how on Earth am I supposed to do that. Of course the Bible expects you to follow all 631 commandments and (here's the kicker) expects you to be perfect. Breaking even one commandment is a bad as breaking all of them... what a crock. Christians claim, somewhat erroneously, that belief in Jesus is all that matters......neatly side-stepping the text  "many are called, few are chosen"  

 

 

 

 

On a side note: Judas was "called" and we all know how that worked out 

 

 

Indeed, such is the viscious con of Jesus.  Jesus demands perfection of his followers in order to be saved by merit, but sets the bar such that no mortal soul can achieve it, then holds out faith in himself as the only achievable means of escaping the worst fate imaginable to a human being (namely that of eternal conscious torment).  In so doing, he undermines the idea that one's deeds play any role whatsoever in our eternal fate.  How many hymns have we sung attesting that we have nothing to offer Jesus but menstural rags?  How many theologians have we read who liken the believer in Jesus to a pile of dung covered in snow?  All of this stems from the fatally flawed belief that one single sin can erase a lifetime of good works.  But because of this doctrine we are asked to believe that we are saved sola gratia and that the mechanism for this salvation is sola fide.

 

That is the trap.  How much faith is enough?  A mustard seed?  The answers given us follow from meaningless Biblical cliches such as "the indwelling of the Holy Spirit" and "Christ working within us."  Christians protest that salvation is accomplished by far more than intellectual assent and must be evidenced by sanctification.  But ultimately it really is just the intellectual assent; otherwise Christians would have to believe that there are some especially terrible sinners for whom the blood of Jesus is ineffectual.  The process of salvation ultimately becomes a hapless effort in properly deciphering the words of Jesus and his vile disciples.

 

Jesus invented the very notion of eternal conscious torment.  But for him, any individuals who proposed the idea prior to him would have been obscured by history, but his teachings alone survived.  Jesus is a hellhound eager to sink his teeth into human flesh, and every disciple he makes becomes twice as much as son of hell as himself.  I hope for a day when popular opinion grants Jesus his rightful place beside Hitler as one of the most wicked and morally depraved men to walk the earth.

 

The church should have the confidence to preach the real message of Christ. Its failure to do so, confirms the shameful and harmful edicts issued by the Bible 

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I sure can see where you are coming from. At thirteen I had at best pocket change and rode a Schwinn bicycle. I had an older fundamentalist born again friend that had a GTO and a big wad of green in his wallet. Older and supposedly wiser every time we were alone for even two minutes, here it came again.  It went a bit like this; it sure is hot today, have you ever thought about what it would be like to be on fire with no way to put it out? Jesus is trying to save you from being burned for eternity. Then it would always end with him putting his hands on me and praying 

This is what really sickens me the most about Christianity, the whole Jesus wants to save you from the eternal prison He has created for for you.

 

Why not just save us then, why even create Hell, Why talk in riddles, in parables, why author such a book that is contrary to reason and common sense. Why all the endless hiding and unanswered prayers.

 

The whole edifice is hellish

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Welcome to the forums. You will get a lot of great insight from the folks here :)

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