willybilly30 Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 i really like this group and but this no existant thing is driving me paranoid but im scared to death of dying and not existing man it scares me so bad i have thoughts of me and my family in graves with maggots and in the dark shit i even had thoughts of being buried alive. sleeping makes me think of death, smoking makes me think of cancer (winch may help me quit smoking so theirs a plus, i got a cold last week and was miserable cause i thought i was gonna die. i feel so empty i feel so depressed i think im going to go nuts. my grandma and uncle died this year and the thought of never seeing them again makes me want to cry like a baby. and im scared more will die and not exist. ever weird feeling i get i think oh no im gonna die and not exist. i cant enjoy life anymore i was happier in religion but everyone says its not based on reality and unscientic so i feel stupid bringing it up. i been literally begging god to show me it exists and that my uncle and granma are ok. i get images and stuff in my head but that ant proof enough they say ignorance is bliss i guess knowledge is sheer terror. i was so happy as a pagan but now that i hear its all unscientific and unproven i feel so depressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saxyroze Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 i cant enjoy life anymore i was happier in religion but everyone says its not based on reality and unscientic so i feel stupid bringing it up. Everyone says… …but what do you say? No one really matters but you when it’s your faith or belief that’s on the line. Maybe Christianity isn’t for you. Have you looked into any other beliefs? Like Buddhism or Hinduism? Maybe by learning about all the beliefs out there you’ll find something that’ll feel right to you. Make you feel more whole and at peace. I think you just need to be real with yourself, forget outside opinions, and decide what you really believe. It's perfectly fine not believing in god yet believing that there is something beyond the grave...beyond this life. It's perfectly fine believing in Christianity again. It's fine to become a Jew. Whatever need be. I just think you're having a hard time because you haven't truly found what you believe just yet. That's all I can say really because I don't know much about you. I hope you can find peace some how. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 No need to feel stupid, willybilly. The great unknown of death is enough to freak anyone out. Don't know how to help you cope with it, dude. I'm no psychologist. Nothing says you have to subscribe to the belief of no afterlife. Who the hell knows, anyway? Maybe we are all wrong, and there's something after death that nobody has any freaking clue about. It doesn't scare me in the least. Shit, everyone dies. Someday it'll be my turn. If I wake up after death, I guess I'll just be pleasantly surprised. Unless I wake up and find myself in the middle of that Great White Throne Judgment thingy. Willybilly, if you were happy as a pagan, why bail on that? Just because it's unproven? Hell, if something was giving me happiness and peace of mind, I'd tell everyone in the world to kiss my ass. It's your brain, man. You're allowed to think whatever the hell you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willybilly30 Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 is it ok to believe something you cant prove? i want to believe in a creator and an afterlife and my dead relatives are in some paradise. i wish it was a reality something i knew for a fact. i love studying religions i just wish i knew if they were true or not. i dont think i can mentally handle athiesm even tho people here hold it as the true path i just cant do it. Everyone says… …but what do you say? No one really matters but you when it’s your faith or belief that’s on the line. Maybe Christianity isn’t for you. Have you looked into any other beliefs? Like Buddhism or Hinduism? Maybe by learning about all the beliefs out there you’ll find something that’ll feel right to you. Make you feel more whole and at peace. I think you just need to be real with yourself, forget outside opinions, and decide what you really believe. It's perfectly fine not believing in god yet believing that there is something beyond the grave...beyond this life. It's perfectly fine believing in Christianity again. It's fine to become a Jew. Whatever need be. I just think you're having a hard time because you haven't truly found what you believe just yet. That's all I can say really because I don't know much about you. I hope you can find peace some how. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 is it ok to believe something you cant prove? i want to believe in a creator and an afterlife and my dead relatives are in some paradise. Hell ya you can believe something you can't prove. I'm an atheist, but I sure as hell can't prove that there is no God. Nor can any atheist prove that. There's lots of people here who are Deists (believe that there is a creator-god, but he's not biblegod) - they can't begin to prove that. No one can prove anything. Maybe your intuition is telling you what to believe, and you are the closest to being right of any of us. Like I said before, you're allowed to think whatever you want. If someone tells you to prove your beliefs - just tell em "you go first". It's all just a great big guessing game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saxyroze Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 i dont think i can mentally handle athiesm even tho people here hold it as the true path i just cant do it. If you don’t feel comfortable as an atheist be an agonistic instead. Or something else. Just because you don’t believe in god doesn’t mean you have to be an atheist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aynalhub Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 hey man, just remember you're not separate from the rest of the universe...it is not "you" inside a body, going through life, dying...everything you are and do, including dying, makes up who "you" are. If you didn't die someday, you wouldn't be "you". Of all possible people, you got to exist and do anything at all...being angry about Death is nothing but greed. You have been given existence and are looking a gift-horse in the mouth in a way. you're *supposed* to be scared of dying. if your ancestors weren't scared of dying, they would have protected themselves poorly and wouldn't have survived to produce you...it's a good thing. and they passed it right on to you. try not to see your fear as something keeping you from enjoying yourself, try to see it as normal and say with a smile "wow, being a human being is complicated and creates a lot of emotions, this one is the fear of death". Don't fight it, but explore your thoughts, and try to understand them...trying to make them go away and meeting them with resistance and dislike might be what is creating the bulk of the pain...but that is true for me...and that works for me, so i thought it was worth a shot sharing it. i find that comparing my life to an imaginary one where all i have is pleasure and we don't die and nothing bad happens is what creates my fear, not life itself. but to stop making that comparison, there is a part of me that had to die, and even though it was scary at first, it has ended up allowing me to act spontaneously and creatively to life and cope with tons of situations. good luck. explore that fear, stop trying to quench it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willybilly30 Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 i think part of me maybe thinks it has to follow the crowd and think like the majority of people here. my path means too much too me and so does my what some would call an imaginary freind i just cant live with out it i dont think. maybe the creator has a reason not to prove itself i mean with all the insanity people do with what they think is right or wrong if i was god im not sure id want to prove myself. i got other theories ill keep to myself. im starting to relax now lol No need to feel stupid, willybilly. The great unknown of death is enough to freak anyone out. Don't know how to help you cope with it, dude. I'm no psychologist. Nothing says you have to subscribe to the belief of no afterlife. Who the hell knows, anyway? Maybe we are all wrong, and there's something after death that nobody has any freaking clue about. It doesn't scare me in the least. Shit, everyone dies. Someday it'll be my turn. If I wake up after death, I guess I'll just be pleasantly surprised. Unless I wake up and find myself in the middle of that Great White Throne Judgment thingy. Willybilly, if you were happy as a pagan, why bail on that? Just because it's unproven? Hell, if something was giving me happiness and peace of mind, I'd tell everyone in the world to kiss my ass. It's your brain, man. You're allowed to think whatever the hell you want. i wish science could prove theirs a god or an afterlfe i guess it cant. is it ok to believe something you cant prove? i want to believe in a creator and an afterlife and my dead relatives are in some paradise. Hell ya you can believe something you can't prove. I'm an atheist, but I sure as hell can't prove that there is no God. Nor can any atheist prove that. There's lots of people here who are Deists (believe that there is a creator-god, but he's not biblegod) - they can't begin to prove that. No one can prove anything. Maybe your intuition is telling you what to believe, and you are the closest to being right of any of us. Like I said before, you're allowed to think whatever you want. If someone tells you to prove your beliefs - just tell em "you go first". It's all just a great big guessing game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ML13 Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Never just follow the crowd willy. I mean I come on this forum and I'm not an atheist. I'm just not sure exactly what I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I sometimes have goofy thoughts about shit like this too, willybilly. Like, maybe when I die, there will be God. Only he won't be like the angry temper-tantrum judgement hellelujiah god. He'll be pure light. Pure love. Pure acceptance and understanding. He'll say "ta da!" and have a good laugh at me for not believing in him. Then, it'll be a big party. Then, it'll be time to explore the universe. Ya just never know about this stuff. You might think it's funny to make God out to be what you want him to be. But, why's that any different than believing the bible - which is just someone else's version of what they thought God was. Go with what works for you, willybilly. You may find that over time it's gonna change, anyway. There's no use getting too worked up over any of this nonsense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willybilly30 Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 that would be cool. i hope that happens I sometimes have goofy thoughts about shit like this too, willybilly. Like, maybe when I die, there will be God. Only he won't be like the angry temper-tantrum judgement hellelujiah god. He'll be pure light. Pure love. Pure acceptance and understanding. He'll say "ta da!" and have a good laugh at me for not believing in him. Then, it'll be a big party. Then, it'll be time to explore the universe. Ya just never know about this stuff. im not really angry at death. i need to try to enjoy life while its here hopefully i wont have to really worry about death anytime soon. hey man, just remember you're not separate from the rest of the universe...it is not "you" inside a body, going through life, dying...everything you are and do, including dying, makes up who "you" are. If you didn't die someday, you wouldn't be "you". Of all possible people, you got to exist and do anything at all...being angry about Death is nothing but greed. You have been given existence and are looking a gift-horse in the mouth in a way. you're *supposed* to be scared of dying. if your ancestors weren't scared of dying, they would have protected themselves poorly and wouldn't have survived to produce you...it's a good thing. and they passed it right on to you. try not to see your fear as something keeping you from enjoying yourself, try to see it as normal and say with a smile "wow, being a human being is complicated and creates a lot of emotions, this one is the fear of death". Don't fight it, but explore your thoughts, and try to understand them...trying to make them go away and meeting them with resistance and dislike might be what is creating the bulk of the pain...but that is true for me...and that works for me, so i thought it was worth a shot sharing it. i find that comparing my life to an imaginary one where all i have is pleasure and we don't die and nothing bad happens is what creates my fear, not life itself. but to stop making that comparison, there is a part of me that had to die, and even though it was scary at first, it has ended up allowing me to act spontaneously and creatively to life and cope with tons of situations. good luck. explore that fear, stop trying to quench it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitchu Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 You've experienced the deaths of two major people in your life this past year, willybilly. That, alone, is enough to shake you up, no matter what you believe. Grief and loss can drag people through some crazy knotholes. And, after all, you're "people" -- it's normal to have these temporary flare-ups. If these feelings persist, though, and you can't dispel them by doing the kinds of things that usually bring you peace and pleasure, you might look into grief counseling (or some other kind of counseling). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 WillyBilly - you totally don't have to think like everybody else here. And yes, it's totally okay to believe in something you can't prove. One of the reasons I can't knock religious faith is that it seems that so many people need it. It just doesn't strike me that humanity would come up with something that didn't serve any purpose for anybody. Obviously religious faith helps, satisfies, and comforts a lot of people. How could I or anybody knock you for that? Dude. Go ahead and believe whatever you need to believe to get you through the night. Believe in pink elephants, if that makes you happy. (Hmm.... was Ganesh ever pink?) Believe in a deity or many deities or none or whatever. It's totally okay. Plus it isn't anybody else's damn business what floats your boat. I, for one, look on it as a priviledge to be able to hear someone's story, whatever it is. Okay, well, if they're a jerk about it, that's another thing... gloves are off. Otherwise it just says a lot to me that you'll even talk about stuff like this on the boards. I sure don't think you're stupid or dumb or lame or anything for thinking about things. You're using your brain. Keep it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 WillyBilly, in my expeience, it is definately okay to believe in something that is unproven, especially about something that is unknowable like death. Sometimes all we have to go on is out instinct, our inner voice that gives us hints every now and then, intuition. The questions you're asking, it is good that you are asking them in the first place, too few do. The crew here, well, I can't speak for everyone, but I'll do what I can to help you look for answers that satisfy you, but a lot of these you have to kind of figure out, or get comfortable with yourself. I definately understand where these feelings and fears are coming from, been there myself and will probably end up back there again every now and then. To me, time has been the only thing that has really helped. I also wouldn't worry about "going with the crowd here." While most of us are ex-christian here, there are a lot of variations on that score. A lot of us also have had our disagreements over time, and know that we follow different paths, as it were. It shows in the Any Gods tag, which, in addition to some form of advance warning for potential fundies, can help show the diversity in...opinion on what we beleive as individuals. Sometimes they could be a bit confusing, but, at the same time, interesting. im not really angry at death. i need to try to enjoy life while its here hopefully i wont have to really worry about death anytime soon. Seems that this is the right track. No matter what, enjoy life right now. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charley Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Stay away drom the pot and the alcohol, tough it out, and you will be okay and stay that way with the pride you earned for yourself in doing it that way. I write too much about mourning and related issues to put it on a public post again, but I'm going to shoot you a private message later. Take care of yourself, you pagan hillbilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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