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Goodbye Jesus

How To Create A Religion People Will Invest Money In.


RipVanWinkle

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New religions are started all the time. What makes one succeed where others die out? By "succeed" of course I mean financially.  Big bucks. Well, I've given some thought to this and I imagine each of you have too. So here is my check list for a new religion:

 

#1 The sole and complete source of truth is the Bible, which is the infallible Word of God. 

#2 Everything necessary to live a life in the spirit, faithful to God is in the Bible.

#3 Anything you hear or read that is inconsistent with the Bible is the devil's lie.

#4 It follows from the above that secular higher education in the US is full of the devils lies. You will likely be mislead if you belief what these institutions teach.

#5 In reading your bible however con't depend upon your own understanding, The gift of preaching and teaching the Word of God has been given to teachers and preachers with this

     church to help you understands what God is saying in the Bible.

#6 Use of reasoning and logic is extremely limited in this world.They will lead you astray if you depend upon therm as your ultimate beliefs when contrary to biblical teaching.

#7 Faith in God, the Bible and this church is all you need to grow spiritually as God wants.

#8 Although this world is controlled by evil, nothing happens that is not in accordance with God's will. He will destroy all evil at just the right time to fulfill his purposes.

#9 At be on guard against the devil and his minions who are continuously prowling the earth to infect you with their poisonous lies, appearing to all as though they were from God, himself.

#10 Do not trust a nonbeliever who is always clouded with ignorance that look to him like Truth. Do not associate with them except to convert them to our religion.

#11 All the spiritual gifts from the Lord are beyond the reach of anyone who does not tithe to this church.

#12 Everything that has happened in history has occurred in strict compliance with God's will. Any one who tells you that this is not so is from the devil.

#13 Love of and obedience to God is your number one priority while you are on this earth, to the exclusion of your spouse, parents, children, your own observations and everything else.

# 14 You home is not on this earth, but in heaven. Therefore everything you do must be directed to pleasing God,

#15 Be aware that you do or think is known to God and will come back to praise you or to hurt you in the final judgment.

#16 Pray without ceasing. All prayers are answered, even if you aren't aware of it. If nothing happens, God has in His infinite knowledge, denied your prayer.

#17 Sex is evil except when it is for the purpose of reproduction. All other sex is of the devil.

#18 Material gain is for the good only if it is for God's purposes. Support of God's worker's is one of God's purposes.

#19 Spread this religion all over the world, first where the wealth is, and then the others. That way you will have the financial resources to cover the whole world.

#20 Infiltrate your government and get laws passed that will benefit this religion over all others.

 

 

I'M SURE THERE ARE MANY OTHERS THAT YOU CAN THINK OF. I'D APPRECIATE YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS. bill

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I feel Joel Osteen is being "channeled" in this thread. Lol!

:D

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That's the Mars Hill/Mark Driscoll way! ^^^

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  • 2 weeks later...

One of my best friends goes to Olsteen's church.  He has his pics with Olsteen all over it.

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Opps.  I meant Osteen.

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