Moderator Margee Posted July 29, 2014 Moderator Share Posted July 29, 2014 True Freedom, you've got some really fantastic replies here! Very thought provoking. Just wanted to add my 2 cents. I have some very dear friends who know the truth about me. They're OK with it but I can tell at times they are uncomfortable when they say things like 'God will work that out for you' and they kinda shy away from me and i hate that. The one thing I have going with this group is that they are not fundamentals, but rather just your ordinary kind of christian who believes in the christian god. I've decided (when asked) because I don't volunteer that information unless asked now. If I am asked out-rightly, I tell people I am an extreme agnostic and it keeps everything more neutral. I say I have many doubts. Although they will still want to tell me that god will prove himself to me (again) some day. Most of them pray for me. You brought up the point about being in the 'lime-light' on you tube, singing, etc.... Now that's a different story. You would have to be totally ready for everyone to know at that point. This is going to have to be your decision and you will also have to go against your wife who would not approve by the sounds of it. Only you know what your priorities are. Maybe over some time period, It won't matter to her and then you can 'do your thing' in the public. It's such a shame that religion causes so much chaos to so many families. You're a smart man. I know you'll figure this out. It's been a wonderful thread to read. Hug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted July 29, 2014 Author Moderator Share Posted July 29, 2014 One thing that's so frustrating is that in our age of social media everything is so publicized and carries the potential to go viral. Even attending a freethinking meetup as a visitor can get your photo published to the web for all to see and possibly establish a permanent record of your association with that group. If I had a cause to champion I could just lay it all out there without worrying about the consequences, but I don't. Where is this "TrueFreedom" which I thought that I had found? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdparker520 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I'm in the process of coming out to family and friends. My main motivation is that my family frequently discusses politics and religion, and I was sick of pretending to believe things I don't. However, I did wait until I moved from Alabama to San Francisco. There was just too much risk in terms of employment where I was. It's admittedly a lot easier to come out when I only have to see my family twice a year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted July 29, 2014 Moderator Share Posted July 29, 2014 Where is this "TrueFreedom" which I thought that I had found? It's in your mind and heart even if you can't scream it out to the world right now. You, yourself have that freedom within. You are not bound by religion and there is a lot of 'freedom' in that!! You are not a sheep. You are not a robot. You are a leader in your own right, even if it's here on EX-c!! And that you are!! Not in all ways just yet...but in many other ways, you do have ''True Freedom''! hug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted July 30, 2014 Author Moderator Share Posted July 30, 2014 Where is this "TrueFreedom" which I thought that I had found? It's in your mind and heart even if you can't scream it out to the world right now. You, yourself have that freedom within. You are not bound by religion and there is a lot of 'freedom' in that!! You are not a sheep. You are not a robot. You are a leader in your own right, even if it's here on EX-c!! And that you are!! Not in all ways just yet...but in many other ways, you do have ''True Freedom''! hug Thanks, ((Margee)). It is nice to be free of cognitive dissonance and thoughts of hell and theistic dumb-fuckery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orbit Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 One thing that's so frustrating is that in our age of social media everything is so publicized and carries the potential to go viral. Even attending a freethinking meetup as a visitor can get your photo published to the web for all to see and possibly establish a permanent record of your association with that group. If I had a cause to champion I could just lay it all out there without worrying about the consequences, but I don't. Where is this "TrueFreedom" which I thought that I had found? This makes me wonder why I don't worry about this kind of stuff (being outed). Maybe I should worry more about it. The field I'm in kind of assumes atheism, truth be told. I have an interdisciplinary doctorate in anthropology/sociology. Anthropologists are assumed to be atheists by virtue of their ties to the study of primate evolution, and sociologists are considered to be godless liberal commies in general, so maybe I figure "atheist" is no worse. It's all very "don't ask don't tell" in academia. If you fear for your job, then definitely keep your atheism under your hat. Maybe that's the difference; I don't fear for my job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leo Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 True Freedom's question about where is this true freedom? This is part of being in a stark minority, and you have my utmost sympathies, especially because you may not have grown up with this. I feel I have a bit of experience being blind my whole life, not to overplay that, but it really helps. Your feelings are totally well founded, and your major issues come from without, not within. You have the freedom within, or are developing it, but now we all must contend with the lack of freedom without. Within my first month being out I had a burning desire to tell people, which I understood to be a need for validation. I admit that it's waning just a bit. But I'm sorry for your situation. Every person is different. And I'm going to go out on a limb here and say for anyone who hasn't dealt with lifelong misperceptions, this must be really really difficult, beyond my ability to imagine, and you all have my utmost sympathies. Both fortunately and unfortunately, unlike some things, our atheism or other-theism other than Christianity for people of other spiritualities, is something we can sort of hide. But people are right when they talk about having to pretend to agree with things. And the True Christians wanting you to stand behind Fox News and such, really do know we're faking it. Speaking for myself here, I'm simply not that good at it. Margee's got a lot of wisdom, as Human and others here, who have been deconverted for some time. I still say, I don't think this outing business is binary or simple. Each of our situations is different. I can't pretend, as one privileged to live in a rather friendly area, to fully understand the plight people face in some very churched areas of the U.S., or a Muslim trying to break free in Saudi Arabia. One thing we have in common, we all struggle with this, in various ways. Anyway, I looked at my last post and I saw I probably came across as too advice-giving, which is probably not what you really need right now. That, and I am still very newly deconverted. Most important, you have my profound sympathies in your specific situation. The best I can offer is empathize. And personally, I appreciate the wisdom in a lot of other posts on this topic. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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