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Urgent Question Regarding Jesus - Need To Know


themonkeyman
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Did the Lawd Jesus Christ ever take a dump or a piss.  Like seriously if he is God did he have angels wipe his ass.

 

He lived in a poverty striken reigon - Did the trees become more holy after he pissed on them?  Infact did people perhaps use his shit to smear themselves so that they could be healed.

 

Just with everything he did - Including being a Brewery at the Wedding in Cain we never hear about him doing a dump.  Maybe he is like a woman who claims they never shit and never fart lol.

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When christian god yeshitwa said "let us make man in our image" ... would that also mean that god has a digestive and urinary system?  And since god always sits in his throne, does that mean he's the inventor of the toilet? 

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Ah, and that has as much credibility as End3's genetic predisposition linking to original sin, so that must be a valid and plausible explanation!

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Jesus was not god, he was a man alone, the evidence for this biblical error is the bible itself. 

Since Jesus was a human, he used the bathroom like us.

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I used to wonder if Jesus' farts smelled like cotton candy or something. I mean that would totally make sense!

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Our pastor once told us a story about how a missionary heard from God that he needed to LICK a man's eyeball in order to heal him. Supposedly he did and the guy was healed!! I mean cmon.. who in their right mind would let a total stranger even close to their face, let alone LICK their eyeball?? Gross.

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Josephus says that the Essenes had the rule that one had to dig a trench, squat and cover oneself with clothing completely, and only then take a dump, so no human nor God would have to look at the result. Josephus makes a point of saying that, even though bowel movements are natural, the Essenes took great care to wash themselves afterwards.

 

So does Josephus imply that the average Jew didn't wash after taking a dump?

 

Very mysterious.

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I've heard that middle-eastern men still carry a pot of water for washing their asses after doing their business.

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If holy shit came from god doing a number 2, then holy water might mean...

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And a "wicked piss" is obviously.......

 

Are you implying that God is full of shit and that Satan is pissed?

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Josephus says that the Essenes had the rule that one had to dig a trench, squat and cover oneself with clothing completely, and only then take a dump, so no human nor God would have to look at the result. Josephus makes a point of saying that, even though bowel movements are natural, the Essenes took great care to wash themselves afterwards.

 

So does Josephus imply that the average Jew didn't wash after taking a dump?

 

Very mysterious.

There's some rules in the Old Testament regarding this shit, and at least pharisaic Judaism had quite a number of regulations regarding this - including both how to wash up and what benedictions to say after having done so. The Essenes probably extended this in ways Josephus found slightly odd, but keep in mind that he was writing for a Roman audience, who would be even more perplexed by this.

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Depends if the missionairy offered food. Poor people do anything for food even let a missionary with hiv lick them

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