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What Are The Top Strangest Christian Beliefs In Your Opinion


Castiel233
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Saying Jesus Christ in prayer is OK, saying it  otherwise in everyday conversation is blasphemy 

 

Being a friend of the world makes you an enemy a God

 

Drinking poison will not harm you

 

You can do all that Christ could do….and more

 

Hebrew speaking animals and plants

 

Floating zoo containing all the worlds animals….built by a single family

 

Sticks into snake’s magic

 

God can hear your thoughts

 

Enchanted fruit

 

Time travel to prove that boils are not fatal

 

Battles in heaven between troops that cannot be killed

 

God being His own Son

 

Dirty water to prove or disprove adultery

 

Angels making water magical by stirring it

 

Flying Chariots

 

Iron Chariots impervious to the Lord

 

God sending delusions as the father and Jesus speaking in parables as the Son to confuse people…yet both are supposed to be the way and the truth

 

Paul being a slave and servant of God, and receiving his instructions from no man but the Lord…. yet admitting to writing his own doctrines

 

People living for centuries

 

Satan walking up to Heaven and back

 

Burnt animal offerings, the smell of which are pleasing to God. Why would God want to smell dead animals?

 

God having back parts

 

Getting divorced and remarried (even to the same woman) is upsetting to God

 

God is everywhere always...but invisible 

 

God wants to save you from Himself

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Immersing or sprinkling water on people makes them part of god's family.

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noah's ark BS

 

The anti-gay BS

 

Man living inside a whale for 3 days BS

 

The whole zombie jeebus BS

 

How a sacrifice which nothing is lost is considered a sacrifice.

 

That people need to repent and be sorry for being human, that people deserve punishment for stupid shit that could've been perfectly avoided in the first place. (Seriously, why put the fucking tree in the garden?)

 

That the buybull god is a good, just, merciful, all knowing parent

 

The rejection of proven facts, evidences, common sense, and basic intelligence.

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OMNI-fucking-everything,,,,,,

 

was weird when preachers say he says everything and knows every thoughts,,,,, especially porn and making out,,,,,

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Two that come to mind:

 

You cannot really love someone unless you accept Jebus as your saviour

 

You are not really married unless you are a Christian

 

I don't think those are so strange as they are divisive and perverted.

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How the crucifixion and eucharist don't count as totally human sacrifice and cannibalism if it's "symbolic" or whatever. Yet, they're the first to jump all over so-called "primitive" religions for this... Seriously, it always struck me as completely nuts. You can't talk out of one side of your mouth about how "savage" or morally wrong human sacrifice is on principle, while chowing down on the body and blood of Christ, who totally died for your sins...

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Saying some form of "The Sinner's prayer", often as repeated after the pastor, totally legitimately counts as "making the most important decision of your life".

 

Also (coming from a Pentecostal background), supposed "prophets" who sound much like they are psychics but aren't evil like psychics because they're appointed by Jesus, even though their statements about people are just as vague. 

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Saying some form of "The Sinner's prayer", often as repeated after the pastor, totally legitimately counts as "making the most important decision of your life".

 

Also (coming from a Pentecostal background), supposed "prophets" who sound much like they are psychics but aren't evil like psychics because they're appointed by Jesus, even though their statements about people are just as vague.

Hey, wanderingthoughts, you just gave me an idea... the prophetic telephone hotline... I wonder why an evangelical scam of this sort never sprung up. I guess they're too busy raking in the money in other ways, such as selling their wares in exchange for "love offerings."

 

Haha, I reckon you'd be raking in the big bucks with that idea!! Oh yes, those "love offerings". The prophets that made me think of that belief had come all the way from the US, I'm sure they definitely needed more money to "support their ministry". I mean, they clearly couldn't afford the airfare over here. I'm glad I rarely felt an obligation to contribute. 

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the doctrine of transubstantiation.  opposition to birth control.  A church bureaucracy having a fate in your eternal destiny.  

 

Raised Presbyterian, Catholic stuff is the weirdest to me.  The idea that you can confess sins to another human being in a confessional, they 'prescribe' so many 'hail marys' and absolve your sins.  Or you can be excommunicated.. the idea that a human bureaucracy can control your standing with God.  How does that work exactly?  If you die before your excommunication papers are filed properly, do you go to heaven or hell?

 

I've never been Catholic so I haven't had to personally work through these things, but of all the strange things that fall under "Christianity," Catholic policies are the most foreign to me.

 

Mormonism goes into some stranger territory, but I personally don't consider that to be "Christian" per se.

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That is another bugbear.......The Bible says do not store up wealth on Earth and the Vatican and the Church of England say "Fuck that" .

 

If "believers" ignore  Scripture, then how dare they preach it to the rest of us.....

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The trinity is absolutely bizarre to me, Jesus praying to himself...

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bible is innerant infalible word of god BS

and the worst they cannot defend that statement more than 1 verse (all scriptures are inspired by holy spirit)

I agree with this 100%. The process whereby some scripture was selected to be canonized or not canonized, seems so entirely 'human' and convenient to the contemporary political climate, it is hard to imagine that these books are intended to be read as one single 'good book' with any sort of unifying theme tying it together. It is really just a bunch if weird legends and propaganda that reflects the times when they were written, with occasionally soaring poetry and nuggets of wisdom sprinkled here and there. I think there are some fantastic tidbits in Ecclesiastes and Proverbs especially... But nothing that seems like ONLY God could have come with it, or anything approaching the level of, say, Shakespeare or Dostoyevsky or Thomas Jefferson.

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Talking donkeys.

The sun standing still.

People awakening from death.

The Earth opening up and swallowing people alive.

Killing 1000 men with a jawbone.

Noah - the last righteous man alive, builds an ark, saves the animals from a global flood, then afterward proceeds to get drunk and one of his sons gives him a BJ.

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Lot of good stuff. Certainly the Prosperity Gospel, the idea that everyone is born a certain way with a purpose. If you're blind, the fact that you don't interpret photons properly means God has a purpose RE: your lack of ability to interpret photons properly.

The Baptism of the Dead is alluded to by Paul in one of his epistles.

What about age of accountability? Who decides?

And, looking back, the Sinner's Prayer has got to be one of the strangest of marketing efforts. I never read in the Bible about asking Jesus into people's hearts. You accepted or not. But yes that is definitely an odd one.

As to Mormons / LDS people being Christians, at one time that was a definite out. But since the 2012 election and their need to support the right candidate from the White Wing, you had fundagelical republiChristians falling all over themselves to embrace Mormons as Christians. Who would have thought the loud, proud, abrasive, John Hagee, the big fat guy who wants to set up a Wailing Wall in Texas, would embrace the Mormons? But he has.

And along with the prophets. Someone always has a Word from the lord. It sometimes took them fifteen minutes to out with it. Was I the only one who was standing around thinking: That's not a word, that's a novel!

And yeah it was mainly like your average horoscope in quality.

Oh and the Southern Baptists boycotting Disney and McDonald's. Chick Fill'A made a lot of money in Florida during that time, if memory serves. And we all know the latest Chick Fill'a situation ...

Speaking of food, Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick! Ever been to those pot lucks? 'nuff said, for those that know. Stands to reason if they can't drink, no gonja, so ... guess it's the food.

Nobody's mentioned the rape scene / virgin birth. I'm sorry I never saw that for what it was until a few months ago. A girl around 12 or 13 years old, being scared outa her f'in mind by some superhuman creature, that had to tell her not to be afraid. And was her response really godly / submissive, or just the response of someone scared outa their mind? Not even a promise of, "I'll be with you. I'll keep them from throwing rocks at you until you suffocate under the weight of them, since that was my plan for girls out of wedlock to begin with." That's just sick. I admit, I do like Christmas music and the whole thing. But the idea of how it happened, kind of freaky, no?

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bible is innerant infalible word of god BS

and the worst they cannot defend that statement more than 1 verse (all scriptures are inspired by holy spirit)

Yeah, it shits me how Christians try justifying that one with the Bible itself. I was saying how this didn't make sense to my brother, and he was all "Well, Jesus himself quoted the OT scriptures." Um, what? That's so helpful, it definitely makes me believe that it's inerrant and infallible. WendyDoh.gif

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Anyone ever hear "just wait until you're in heaven to ask jesus those questions!" bullshit?

 

I need to add that to the list

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Anyone ever hear "just wait until you're in heaven to ask jesus those questions!" bullshit?

 

I need to add that to the list

Yeah, you'd think if he actually wanted us to accept him or whatever, that he would be able to come down and answer them himself rather than have Christians talk around the question.

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