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My Godmother And God, God, God, Gah...


moanareina
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Just came back from a visit of my godmother I have not seen in fifteen years or so.

 

She kinda is the full package.

 

She invited me for lunch and we went to a neat place and we had a nice talk until she started to talk about her children and how one of them had been in a cult like community for a few years and quit all contacts to people outside of it, even her parents. So she asked me if I still went to that Church I went and I just said no. Following question, do you go somewhere else? No. Why not, are you having a crisis? No...of course a Christian isn't taking no for an answer. If I was not going anymore I must have a crisis with God...

I told her a little bit about why I did not believe anymore but she just shrugged it off with a: I know you will come back to faith because I know God cares about you. So I nodded it off trying to smile...

 

Tried to change topics and it worked for a while but from that point on it was as if she tried to link everything to God. I know she would have done this anyways...but somehow it seemed that she thought it was God who made me visit her...

When we talked about unreligious things it was quite ok but it was almost impossible to have God out of the talk. Even when we talked about bananas having had seeds and might go extinct some time soon due to overbreeding and monocultures...of course that is because humanity is not in line with God anymore...and everything else that is wrong with the world is due to people not living with God anymore...gah.

 

She has tons of stories about how God provided for her...how she got that house she is living in for example. I did not ask but I know from my mom and I felt as if she just waited for me to ask and when I feel someone wants to steer a conversation that way I refuse to be the one making this possible.

 

We went to a neat place to eat and there a couple showed up who she planned to call in order to make plans for Sunday...of course that was God making this happen...God...God...God...

 

Her whole house is posted with bible quotes or other poems about God.

 

I have to say she is one of those Christians who take it very serious with social issues and all. If there is someone who needs help she has an open house and all. She has a thrift store where she sells cloths and the money she makes goes to charity (even though she has only little customers). She also takes children into foster care until their situation is clear. Stuff like that. And I believe she is doing it with joy but always with a Jesus loves everyone attitude.

 

And then she repeated over and over again how beautiful I was and how good I was looking and how I needed to hear this...if people where telling me...I mean a compliment here and there is nice, but this was just awkward...

 

Oh, and of course it was God who made me visit and that was a sign that he cares about me and worked on me coming back to faith.

 

My inner self went into defense mode the whole time I had been there even though I have nothing to defend. I know why I am not believing anymore. But even if she had a loving attitude I felt like someone constantly stepped into my personal space. Like she did not respect my personality and I did not really know how to let her know.

 

She actually is the one who convinced my mom to go back to faith when my mom had a faith crisis...and now it seems she thinks she was the one who was in charge of bringing me back to faith.

 

What a mess. Christians really don't see how awkward they make others feel. They think they are loving but in fact they are pretty violent. Not sure what to think of it all...and I am glad to be back home again in my little world...

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One of the defence mechanisms of the faith. Something good happens, Gods will, something bad happens……God is testing you…..

 

He always get the credit and never the blame

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Yes...exactly.

 

Just had some toy time and I feel great now. I think God is blessing me. Ha.

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Just came back from a visit of my godmother I have not seen in fifteen years or so.

 

She kinda is the full package.

 

She invited me for lunch and we went to a neat place and we had a nice talk until she started to talk about her children and how one of them had been in a cult like community for a few years and quit all contacts to people outside of it, even her parents. So she asked me if I still went to that Church I went and I just said no. Following question, do you go somewhere else? No. Why not, are you having a crisis? No...of course a Christian isn't taking no for an answer. If I was not going anymore I must have a crisis with God...

I told her a little bit about why I did not believe anymore but she just shrugged it off with a: I know you will come back to faith because I know God cares about you. So I nodded it off trying to smile...

 

Tried to change topics and it worked for a while but from that point on it was as if she tried to link everything to God. I know she would have done this anyways...but somehow it seemed that she thought it was God who made me visit her...

When we talked about unreligious things it was quite ok but it was almost impossible to have God out of the talk. Even when we talked about bananas having had seeds and might go extinct some time soon due to overbreeding and monocultures...of course that is because humanity is not in line with God anymore...and everything else that is wrong with the world is due to people not living with God anymore...gah.

 

She has tons of stories about how God provided for her...how she got that house she is living in for example. I did not ask but I know from my mom and I felt as if she just waited for me to ask and when I feel someone wants to steer a conversation that way I refuse to be the one making this possible.

 

We went to a neat place to eat and there a couple showed up who she planned to call in order to make plans for Sunday...of course that was God making this happen...God...God...God...

 

Her whole house is posted with bible quotes or other poems about God.

 

I have to say she is one of those Christians who take it very serious with social issues and all. If there is someone who needs help she has an open house and all. She has a thrift store where she sells cloths and the money she makes goes to charity (even though she has only little customers). She also takes children into foster care until their situation is clear. Stuff like that. And I believe she is doing it with joy but always with a Jesus loves everyone attitude.

 

And then she repeated over and over again how beautiful I was and how good I was looking and how I needed to hear this...if people where telling me...I mean a compliment here and there is nice, but this was just awkward...

 

Oh, and of course it was God who made me visit and that was a sign that he cares about me and worked on me coming back to faith.

 

My inner self went into defense mode the whole time I had been there even though I have nothing to defend. I know why I am not believing anymore. But even if she had a loving attitude I felt like someone constantly stepped into my personal space. Like she did not respect my personality and I did not really know how to let her know.

 

She actually is the one who convinced my mom to go back to faith when my mom had a faith crisis...and now it seems she thinks she was the one who was in charge of bringing me back to faith.

 

What a mess. Christians really don't see how awkward they make others feel. They think they are loving but in fact they are pretty violent. Not sure what to think of it all...and I am glad to be back home again in my little world...

 

I have a relative who injects God into any topic. I guess it could be interesting to try to find topics where it would be really difficult to segue into God. Might be a fun challenge :-)

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Human

it's my godmother, not my grandmother. Actually I have no grandmother left. But they have been quite pathetic with their faith too. Besides that, thank you for your words.

 

mitniterider

I guess it would be. Not sure though if such a topic exists. And it is weird when I talk to people who knew me as a child and therefore had a special role in my life. Somehow I have a hard time not to slip in that little girl role and stay true to myself. But at least I had been quite alert and thats probably why I went into defense mode for the entire time. There is so much going on in my mind and psyche when with such people. Can't put this into accurate words.

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Genuine kind mother-of-everyone type figure + deep religious indoctrination?  Yeah, I know some of them, one family member in fact.

 

I have an elderly couple for neighbors, they're Muslims.  One of the most loving couples you can meet.  Had a talk with their son a while back.  Yep, they're both exactly how you would describe your godmother.  Only they attribute nearly every problem with mankind's ignorance of Allah and his commands.  I don't know what your godmother's denomination is.  My family member is SDA and she's the exact same way, only attributing all the problems in the world to mankind following the 'beast and his image' instead of bible god.

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Ah yeah just comes to mind that...they have gone to Spain when I was about 12 or so. They thought God had called them to go there and worked there as missionaries. The whole family. Three Children in schooling age. The oldest daughter is my age. So my godmother thought it was her calling to take care of drug addicts and so they had four MEN living with them. Her husband worked as a typographer as he did in Switzerland...and of course their apartment was too small and so they purchased a house God gave them. My godmother and those four guys helped to renovate it. They spent much time there together without her husband. One day we received a very strange letter from her. Telling us that God told her if she would be ready to leave her husband and children for him...if she was ready to follow him no matter what. And that she was with one of those guys, ex druggies...that they had bought rings and...surprise...she expected a child from him.

 

God works in miraculous ways.

 

Of course she came back and saw her error...and repented and all...but man. God, God, God...Everything God.

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Well if you trust in God everything works out for the greater good...

 

I just thought about it and it is mind blowing how someone who so wholeheartedly trusted in God...who so sincerely wanted to be his servant and do his will to the point of leaving home and go to another country, learning another language, putting their children in schools that where never as good as the once they used to visit (when they came back due to that whole mess they all where about two years behind...the time they had been in Spain if I remember right), and against peoples advice, even against their Churches advice...being lead by her own delusions (thinking it was God) to the point of leaving her husband and children for a random guy who had no 'honorable' past nor any real perspective for a future, getting pregnant (having a reminder of that story forever)...going back into that God, God, God mode. Just crazy. As the child that burnt itself but still playing around the fire.

 

It was weird to meet her as a grown up now. When I was a child I liked to be at her house because she showed me respect and love. To see her now and how she has not really changed but I have changed a lot...it does not look that much like love and respect anymore. It looks more like a disorder. Can't help but to see a weird Child in her. It felt as if she had been drunk in delusion.

 

I know I am a bit mean here...and I know she means well and all...I just have a hard time to decide where to go with it. She was like: The doors are always open here. You can come visit whenever you want to...

I guess I don't. Unless I am up to some field study...and need to do another session of observing her.

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Someone ought to tell her that all of those things she thinks Jesus is doing for you and for her were the actions of the Holy Milk Jug, whose magical, invisible milk will bless random people when a believer in its power has a drink. All it takes is faith the size of a grain of sand for the milk to work its magic.

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