zeldarocks Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I'm fucking angry with my dad. I know he didn't do it out of spite, but I've already told him that he is giving me panic attacks with this apocalyptic bullshit. He's more worried about my "eternal destiny." Fuck him and everything about him. A bit of background: when he married my mom (he's technically my step-dad) he gave me his last name. I can't fucking WAIT to marry my boyfriend, shove that fucking name up his ass.To add insult to injuyr: my parents asked me to remove my relationship status from my Facebook, as it would bring reproach to them as ministers. I told them, absolutely not. I made it quite clear that I would not allow them to hide me away in shame and embarrassment. My parents keep telling me that they love me, that they only want the best for me... One moment they want the best for me, the next, they tell me they're worried about my "eternal destiny" and won't stop engaging in an activity which impacts my physical health. >.> I apologize for the coarse language, but I needed to get this out of my chest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolianbob Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Zelda, I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Is there any possibility to get away from their influence? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llwellyn Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Your "eternal destiny" is not at risk. But you are living with a bunch of lunatics. You had/have a father and a name -- he had no right to take that from you as a child. Was your biological father consulted when these frothing-at-the-mouth imbeciles change your name? Please do not marry your boyfriend as a youngster just to spite your parents and change your name. If you are old enough to get married, you are certainly old enough to file a name-change petition in the local court. Court filing fees would be about $20.00. You go to a hearing, the judge issues an order and bingo -- problem solved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeldarocks Posted August 11, 2014 Author Share Posted August 11, 2014 Your "eternal destiny" is not at risk. But you are living with a bunch of lunatics. You had/have a father and a name -- he had no right to take that from you as a child. Was your biological father consulted when these frothing-at-the-mouth imbeciles change your name? Please do not marry your boyfriend as a youngster just to spite your parents and change your name. If you are old enough to get married, you are certainly old enough to file a name-change petition in the local court. Court filing fees would be about $20.00. You go to a hearing, the judge issues an order and bingo -- problem solved. Granted, it was completely consensual. I was born out of wedlock and never really had a father growing up, so I was more than happy to allow him into my life at the age of 13. My biological father is/was a complete psycho and a lunatic, we actually had to leave the country at one point until he thought we disappeared. This was around the age of 6-7. I haven't seen my biological father since then. (in my opinion, my "dad" is a lot better than my biological father, although that's no saying much). I mean, I know he means well and that he loves me, hence his attempts to "show me the truth." That doesn't mean that he hasn't inadvertently ruined my life, indoctrinated me and my mom into Pentecostal Fundamentalist Christianity. I resent him incredibly for that. I don't know... I'm feeling conflicted. On the one hand, I feel terrible bad-mouthing him online and making him seem like this horrible scumbag of a human being. I know that he loves me and wants the best for me. On the other hand, he has inadvertently, indirectly caused me much anguish and heart-ache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparklingphoenix Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Well, I don't know how old you are, but I would suggest looking into staying with friends if your dad's behavior continues and is a serious threat to your health. I actually developed a chronic illness that I will probably have the rest of my life due to the stress and anxiety my parents caused me. Take care of yourself and stand up for yourself when you need to. You are a human being too and they should respect your boundaries more. That does't mean they will though, so you may have to prove to them that you're serious. I left home when I was 19 and lived with friends until I got into the university I wanted to go to. If they are damaging your health, then I really hope you can find a less stressful home to stay in. Take care~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest end3 Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Maybe the trick here Z is to understand that they believe they are doing and advising you the best they can based on what they believe. It doesn't sound like, from your description, that they are intentionally trying to hurt you. I kind of lean towards, if you can, just looking them square in the eye and telling them that this or that hurts you or bothers you....and that you are developing your own views as you grow. I expect if they love you, they would heed your request to give you space. Hang in and hope it gets better. Edit: One more thing Z. When you have children and you believe in some eternal destiny, then some times your wanting so badly your child to be saved that it gets in the way of their own life. But keep in mind it is out of love that parents want this. Sounds like you are a caring person. You might just reassure them you are hearing them while you form your own views. Enough preaching on my part. Glad you posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 I agree wholeheartedly with Llwellyn. DO NOT MARRY TO SPITE YOUR STEPDAD OR FOR A NAME CHANGE! That could very well turn out to be the biggest mistake of your life. About this -- ------- When you have children and you believe in some eternal destiny, then some times your wanting so badly your child to be saved that it gets in the way of their own life. But keep in mind it is out of love that parents want this. -------- What End3 means is CHRISTIAN "love", not actual, real parental love. I say this because, at the very root of this (christian) love, is the motivation by threat of eternal hellfire. You have to understand -- rarely will any christian honestly admit to what motivates them. It really is a mindset that is twisted and contorted at the base with fear. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeldarocks Posted August 11, 2014 Author Share Posted August 11, 2014 To be quite honest, it was much better when my mom and I first became Christians (Calvinist). There certainly wasn't nearly as much crazy. The Calvinists appear to be in many respects, rather down to Earth, very much unlike Fundamentalists such as the Pentecostals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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