Has Any One Else Been The Victim Of Missionary Dating?

[Jedah]

 

 

I've been the victim of both "missionary" dating, and MLM dating.

 

The MLM girl was worse by far.

MLM dating?  I'm not too familiar with that.

 

My guess is Multi-Level Marketing dating.

Jedah, would you please explain how it works?

Thanks,

Human

 

Girl tries to date you with the purpose of reeling you into her MLM scam.

[Bayard]

I visited and stayed at several monasteries when I was a Christian. Unfortunately they often attract people with psychological issues who need actual help.

[Leo]

Hmm Dee, what about us men who never fit the Xian mold for us? You might find such. Not all are a fit for any socially constructed mold, be it patriarch or yes man. Good luck to you. And region has a lot to do with it, in my opinion.

[Deidre]

Hmm Dee, what about us men who never fit the Xian mold for us? You might find such. Not all are a fit for any socially constructed mold, be it patriarch or yes man. Good luck to you. And region has a lot to do with it, in my opinion.

I've had a sort of "awakening" today and I'm going to work on changing some of my rigid ways. Everyone is unique. We are not labels. Thank you for making me think on things a bit deeper, Leo...

[Deidre]

 

 

I can safely say that I dodged that bullet. Of the couple people I dated all have been atheists or ex-christians themselves. As a Christian I wouldn't date an unbeliever so I was never in the missionary position and as an atheist now I'd only date other atheists and I would only date an ex-christian if I was reasonably certain there was no chance of them turning back as I've seen that happen to people.

Just in my own experiences dating guys who were former Christians, and are now atheists...they still 'acted' Christian in some of their thinking, when it came to views of women and dating. Sexism and having a hard time with independent women were the main issues, I've noticed. Believing women should still follow traditional roles, and the whole marriage thing. Bleck. Not saying that these traits can't be found in life-long atheists, but I've noticed it not as much, as amongst deconverted men.

I can see that. So it was awkward telling girls who've been life long atheists your story?Is that what u mean? It kinda sucks that you've had bad luck in this department, in my situation I am with a fellow ex-christian and I know how great it is to be with someone who understands that whole side of me; not that that is all to me or our relationship of course. I just know when I talked with other girls about my experiences it generally made the whole mood awkward

  

 

True, we are more than the religion we chose to follow or were indoctrinated into. Culture, society's pressures, upbringing, etc....it all makes up who we are, and our worldviews. But, if a guy's been taught for a very long time to view women as submissive order takers from men, it's hard for him to shift that thinking to respecting women as independent, unique individuals.Didn't mean to go OT, Reality!

Deidre,Not all of Christianity teaches patriarchy and sexism. However, the majority of it does. Even so, I was brought up fundamentalist and evangelical and I didn't have this view of relationships. My parents' marriage has been one of equal partnership. Then again, they left the church environment (but remained believers to some degree) when I was a teenager. In all my relationships, I always assumed gender equality. But then, my experience of Christ/ianity was not typical.So back to my point: these ex-Christian atheist guys were trying to convert you to some form of Christianized atheism. And your point, implied, is that even though a man is out of the religion, perhaps not all the religion is out of him.Human

I thought Fundamentalists took the bible literally, no? Interesting what you say. So, when you date, do you bring up rather quickly their religious "affiliation?"I should've been a nun. A quiet life. No drama. LolA little late now.

Deidre,Concerning the religious environment I grew up in, being more evangelical then fundamentalist, I commented briefly about that in another post.When I was a Christian and I dated, yes there was an understanding that religious affiliation was a topic very early in the conversation. Now, I would not trust a Christian woman at all, not in the least. I would not even entertain the idea of getting involved with a woman who was in the process of deconverting. It's too risky, IMO. It's a risk I'm willing to take. And now, if I were interested in a woman, I would need to know that she would never become a Christian. I would need to hear her explain thoroughly and clearly why she is certain that she never would. And of course, I would explain to her why I never would. But neither am I hung up on labels. I don't need for a woman to call herself "atheist" or anything else, other than "human."Deidre, you could still become a nun, but of course being a Christian goes along with that. And my understanding is that there is a lot of drama that goes on within cloistered communities.Human

I could still become a nun pretending to believe. Lol Considering Christianity is an utter farce, it wouldn't be that much of a stretch.

 

Thanks for sharing your "back story," a bit. I think atheist or deconverted men have less risk dating a deconverted woman. All things considered. But true that a deconverted person could go back to faith I guess. That doesn't cross my mind with deconverted men. It's more that they haven't fully left the Christian mindset behind, from a cultural standpoint, not a doctrinal one if that makes sense.