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I've Compiled My Own Bible Composed Of 33 Books


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I've decided to compile my own version of the Bible composed of 33 book taken from the Old and New Testaments. This is a list of the books picked:

http://imgur.com/N7dovcC

As you can see, I've excised the 5 books of Moses, the Historical Books, and most of the Major and Minor Prophets; I have retained the Wisdom Books and the entirety of the New Testament. Enjoy.

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So, the books you keep are those that introduce the idea of an eternal hell. If your Bible were printed, it would make looking up the stuff Jesus supposedly fulfills very difficult, and this is kinda important since when you look at it, it turns out he doesn't fulfill shit. 

 

It'd be better to keep the bible intact and give it good introductory chapters to each book, and a rich enough commentary system to explain the various problems in it. Excising half of it is just an exercise in denial or misguidance. 

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If you are putting together your own version of the Bible, have you thought about not limiting yourself to the books currently a part of the Bible? For example, I think the Gospel of Thomas would be a good candidate. Then there's the Book of Enoch which is quoted In Jude.

 

There are a lot of possibilities. Have fun and put something daring together.

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Here would be my canon:

 

good story books

----------------

- Genesis

- Deuteronomy

- Joshua

- Judges

- 1 & 2 Samuel

- 1 & 2 Kings

- Ruth

- Jonah

- Daniel

 

inspiring books

---------------

- Psalms (keep only the short ones)

- Ecclesiastes

- Isaiah (shorten drastically)

 

minimal new testament

---------------------

- Matthew

- James

- 1 Peter

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Here would be my canon:

 

good story books

----------------

- Genesis

- Deuteronomy

- Joshua

- Judges

- 1 & 2 Samuel

- 1 & 2 Kings

- Ruth

- Jonah

- Daniel

 

inspiring books

---------------

- Psalms (keep only the short ones)

- Ecclesiastes

- Isaiah (shorten drastically)

 

minimal new testament

---------------------

- Matthew

- James

- 1 Peter

I'd think that Proverbs would be pretty inspiring...

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I'd think that Proverbs would be pretty inspiring...

For some reason I always hated reading Proverbs. Usually I cheated and skipped over it actually. I'm not sure if I ever read it. smile.png

 

BTW Here is an inspiring quote from the lolcat translation (Proverbs 1:20)

Wisdom posts on teh internets, n edits wikipedia.

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Proverbs_1
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My Bible would have Ecclesiastes and Proverbs and nothing else.

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I have a question. What's the point of all of this?

 

You got there ahead of me...

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I've decided to compile my own version of the Bible composed of 33 book taken from the Old and New Testaments. This is a list of the books picked:

 

http://imgur.com/N7dovcC

 

As you can see, I've excised the 5 books of Moses, the Historical Books, and most of the Major and Minor Prophets; I have retained the Wisdom Books and the entirety of the New Testament. Enjoy.

 

If it were me, I'd toss the entire New Testament, except Revelation, which at least shows some imagination. The rest of the NT is repetitious and dull to the point of banging your head on the desk. 

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I've decided to compile my own version of the Bible composed of 33 book taken from the Old and New Testaments. This is a list of the books picked:

 

http://imgur.com/N7dovcC

 

As you can see, I've excised the 5 books of Moses, the Historical Books, and most of the Major and Minor Prophets; I have retained the Wisdom Books and the entirety of the New Testament. Enjoy.

 

If it were me, I'd toss the entire New Testament, except Revelation, which at least shows some imagination. The rest of the NT is repetitious and dull to the point of banging your head on the desk. 

 

Revelations is pretty much a cut and paste job from Daniel, though, with some slight helpings elsewhere.

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When I read the title, I thought you had tossed the bible and compiled a list of good reading.  I still think that's a preferable option. 

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I vote for the Lolcat bible.  It was the only version that came close to making any sense.

I'll have to read more of the LOLcat bible before I decide. LOL

I may need a Cat to translate some of it for me.

My understanding of LOLcatology is limited. smile.png

 

It comez wif praktis

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Canon was closed after the Lolcat Bible.

 

Teh Lolcat bible is teh inspiyrd wurd of ceiling cat.

 

Read it here:

 

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page

 

More info here:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOLCat_Bible_Translation_Project

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolcat

 

 

Why is this the first time I find out about this? This is the greatest thing I have ever seen. I want a printed version, that looks exactly like a normal bible. I want to give my money to someone to do that. Who can I give my money to? Seriously, I want this.

 

I'm going to quote scripture from it to anyone that wants to hear the good news, even if they don't want to hear it. I'm going to start attending church and I'm going to follow the sermon using my copy of the bible.

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