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Frustration Makes Brad Go Something Something...


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What's up everyone? I've been a lurker here for awhile, at least since I've FULLY "repented" from my former beliefs--about halfway through last semester. It was a slow process; I've been out of church for years (3-4), and all that time I've spent my time studying many religions and religious traditions (especially the orgins of Judaism and Christianity). Oh and I'm a niave little boy as well, only 18 years of experience under my belt... : )

 

Now that I've semi-introduced myself, I'd like to get to the point:

 

Being ostracized by your friend(s)/family is one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. It's painful to be viewed as "afflicted" or "unstable" (words that were used to describe me) because I simply don't believe in a god. I have no problem with my friends believing in what makes them happy and what makes sense to them, but apparently I don't have that same freedom. My dearest friend tried to save me last night and this evening over AIM.

 

AH!!! She didn't even present herself in a way that I could talk with her! She came into the conversation (which she initiated) with the mindset that I was wrong, and that I lacked faith. In any other situation, I would have belted out and defended myself, but I love her. I love her so much, I love all of my friends, I don't want to make them believe what I believe. It caught me so off guard to have someone so incredibly dear to me say some of the things she said.

 

It's not like I didn't know all of these typical attitudes before, it's just that I have to vent somewhere... And ironically, a bunch of ex-Christians is who I turn to.

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And ironically, a bunch of ex-Christians is who I turn to.
That's exactly what this place is for, Brad. Get it off of your chest here, because there isn't really anywhere "out there" that you can get away with it. Scream, rant and discuss. Jump in anywhere that you feel comfortable.

 

Welcome to ExC. :grin:

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Welcome to the boards, Brad. Vent away, and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.

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Welcome to Ex-c. So what kind of arguements is she presenting?

 

Oh man, it's nothing about the arguments. Almost every argument that comes from Christians around here (Waco, TX - the heart of Southern Baptist country) can be debunked by a three-year-old. I just had a huge shock from the accusations from her about my character, mainly because of our awesome track record. It's hard to fathom someone so close can be so ridiculous about something so trivial and make such huge deal about it.

 

I feel it's not my place to spread the good news of MY GOSPEL to her, so I don't. She can believe whatever she wants, and I tried to explain that to her, but she really wanted me to explain some things to her (for the sole reason to try to sway my decision, quite contrary her claim to try to "understand" me), and her responses were worn-out "science isn't perfect like God" bullshit.

 

Ahhh, I feel like I'm surrounded by idiots with an agenda. Only a few of my friends are beginning to come around (we're in our first year of college) and quit being so narrow-minded of the things in the Bible.

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It's painful to be viewed as "afflicted" or "unstable" (words that were used to describe me) because I simply don't believe in a god.

"Unstable"? lol. Sorry if I don't consider the picture of perfect mental health a person who believes in virgin births, godmen coming to earth, talking snakes, that demons and devils are "out to get us", that angels are flying around in the sky ready to catch us in mid-air if we fall off a ladder, that 72 virgins are waiting for us in a magical mystical disneyland place called "heaven" if we only blow up enough infidels, etc. Yet, they dare to call people who disbelieve these delusions "unstable"? :lmao:

 

Anyway welcome to the world of rationality :)

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It's painful to be viewed as "afflicted" or "unstable" (words that were used to describe me) because I simply don't believe in a god.

"Unstable"? lol. Sorry if I don't consider the picture of perfect mental health a person who believes in virgin births, godmen coming to earth, talking snakes, that demons and devils are "out to get us", that angels are flying around in the sky ready to catch us in mid-air if we fall off a ladder, that 72 virgins are waiting for us in a magical mystical disneyland place called "heaven" if we only blow up enough infidels, etc. Yet, they dare to call people who disbelieve these delusions "unstable"? :lmao:

 

Anyway welcome to the world of rationality :)

Amen, Brother Mike! Amen! :notworthy:

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Hey Brad, and welcome. I am but a newbie on this board myself, but a long-time lurker. Lots of good stuff to read here, and best of all, you have plenty of enlightened, like-minded individuals with which to vent frustrations and celebrate knowledge.

 

Like you, I'm from Texas (southeast, around the Beaumont area if you know where that is), so I (and just about everyone else on the board) know how it can be to be surrounded by fundamentalists. Also, I too take a very humanistic approach to my thoughts and feelings on things compared to others. I feel everyone has the right to believe whatever they want to believe and what they feel is right, and I'm not going to go out to try to convince them otherwise...and I only expect the same courtesy in return. Unfortunately, many people fail to grasp this concept and try to impose their beliefs on others. If only more people followed the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they want to be done unto.

 

Anyway, by all means, scream, cry, piss, bitch and moan here, 'cause we're all here with you. Again, warmest welcome.

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Greetings!

 

Although your decision not to try to deconvert your fiends is laudably tolerant, I would urge you to at least stand up for yourself and your views. Your friends are not just trying to save you, they're trying to pound your self-esteem into a mudhole.

 

For a little ammunition (or just for shoring up your own conclusions) browse the archives of Ex-C (link at top of page) for a lot of good links.

And I know you listed yourself as agnostic, but if you're willing to browse through some well written atheist material on positive atheism and the hypocrisy of religion, try reading some of the short e-pamphlets at this site:

Atheist Alliance Library

 

Meanwhile, hang in there and call for help if you need it :)

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Your friends are not just trying to save you, they're trying to pound your self-esteem into a mudhole.

 

Christianity is so incredibly ludicrous that to maintain belief in it requires adherents to have the support of just about everyone around them. Christians are willing to forego their manners and civility in any attempt to keep you propping them up. If you fail to do so most of them will cast you out of their circle in the desperate hope of finding better support elsewhere.

 

IBF

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Welcome Brad,

 

I'm really glad to see more deconverts from the "Bible belt" and "(Dubya) Jezombie land". It's like music to my ears. Maybe there is a hope for this country after all? :)

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If you've not responded to her, I suggest returning in the manner that she approached you. That is, don't treat this like a discussion, treat it like a debate. Reply in writing, as that will give you the opportunity to put all your thoughts in order and present them to her like an essay or something. If she reads it, and is then willing to talk face to face, then you have won a victory. But, and there's a chance this'll happen, she doesn't want to hear your side, then at least you tried. From there I'd suggest having nothing to do with any further religious discussions, if you want to keep the friendship intact.

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Being ostracized by your friend(s)/family is one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with.

 

Hi Brad The issue here for you is not what you believe / don't believe but the fact that you (like everyone else on earth) needs their friends. Its a key Human trait

 

You say you are agnostic (which is where i would put myself).

For me that means I am looking for some sort of spirituality (IF there is any - who knows?) but I just don't know what it is.

That is a long way from a fundamantal Christian view point BUT you could accentuate the positives of it to your Christian friends if you still want them as friends

ie

1 - You are being Honest with yourself - Honesty is a Christian teaching no? Is it better to be a liar inside?

2 - You DO want to find a spiritual side - but you have to look and are in that process. A Christian should applaud that 'spiritual search'. Do they think God will reject you for it!

3 - Are they ONLY friends with other fundamental Christians and was that side of you ALL you meant to them. They obviously mean more to you - why not reciprocated? Ask them!

 

You might find some of them may accept your position better rather than see you as 'damned' and needing saved (which does not wwork).

I don't know of course so i am guessing at your situation, but it looks to have some similarities to mine. If what i have written does not help just throw it back at me!

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Being ostracized by your friend(s)/family is one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with.

 

Hi Brad The issue here for you is not what you believe / don't believe but the fact that you (like everyone else on earth) needs their friends. Its a key Human trait

 

You say you are agnostic (which is where i would put myself).

For me that means I am looking for some sort of spirituality (IF there is any - who knows?) but I just don't know what it is.

That is a long way from a fundamantal Christian view point BUT you could accentuate the positives of it to your Christian friends if you still want them as friends

ie

1 - You are being Honest with yourself - Honesty is a Christian teaching no? Is it better to be a liar inside?

2 - You DO want to find a spiritual side - but you have to look and are in that process. A Christian should applaud that 'spiritual search'. Do they think God will reject you for it!

3 - Are they ONLY friends with other fundamental Christians and was that side of you ALL you meant to them. They obviously mean more to you - why not reciprocated? Ask them!

 

You might find some of them may accept your position better rather than see you as 'damned' and needing saved (which does not wwork).

I don't know of course so i am guessing at your situation, but it looks to have some similarities to mine. If what i have written does not help just throw it back at me!

 

You basically described me, and my friends know all of this. I think she may just have lost her mind, to be completely honest. I lost my "fundamental" traits a couple of years ago when I started smoking pot, so my conversion shouldn't have been such a big shock to her--it was obvious to see where I was going with all of my soul searching and book reading.

 

I think it's kind of like the final nail in the coffin for her; I think she may have believed I'd eventually go back to the "light side." I still haven't talked to her since she flipped her lid, but I'm almost positive things will be a-ok. Besides, the sex was too good. : )

 

Thanks to everyone for replying and your support; it really shows how dedicated you guys are to one another. I feel warm from the love.

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