Jump to content

Snortin' Coffee


Heimdall
 Share

Recommended Posts

Saturday morning, I was sitting in the living room, sipping coffee and channel surfing. The first time I passed the local Christian Channel (GLC - God's Learning Channel), some tall geeky-looking gomer in a white lab coat was telling his audience that fossils weren't millions of years old, only a few thousands of years old. The next time I passed that channel, he is telling the kids about his very knowledgeable friend, Dr. Hovid! I nearly snorted hot coffee through my nose. After I quit choking, I blurted out, "Dr. Dinosaur".My youngest, home for the weekend, got the giggles (you might know her as Ms CD, she posted here while I was in the UK) and said "Some expert!". Have any of you ever seen this pseudo-scientist and his creationist manure? - Heimdall :yellow:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Holy prussian rat-fuck!

 

A science show. On a xian tv channel. Spewing anti-evolutionism. Refering to Hovind.

 

That's heavy. There are layers and layers of WTFery there that I can only barely percieve. This is something you have to sit and think about a while to understand the full lunacy of it...

 

I know tv gets a bit dumber every year, but this is a bit much.

 

Side note: Proof positive that wearing a lab coat does not raise your IQ.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I haven't seen that dude yet.

I always see that one black dude

tryin' to sell his Blessed Fabric Swatches™. :shrug:

 

I don't recall his name.

 

Then, there's that other black dude that actually

has the word 'dollar' within the name of his minitry.

I always see him giving a sermon on the importance

of tithing, and of course, how much God wants his

people to have more money. :ugh:

 

:Wendywhatever:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I haven't seen that dude yet.

I always see that one black dude

tryin' to sell his Blessed Fabric Swatches. :shrug:

 

I don't recall his name.

 

Then, there's that other black dude that actually

has the word 'dollar' within the name of his minitry.

I always see him giving a sermon on the importance

of tithing, and of course, how much God wants his

people to have more money. :ugh:

 

:Wendywhatever:

 

 

Do you mean Creflo Dollar? The second one you mentioned?

 

I haven't heard of the first one that's hawking Blessed Fabric Swatches . That's truly some WTF shit, dude. Are they holy because Jesus wiped his ass on them? I mean, what's up with that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I haven't heard of the first one that's hawking Blessed Fabric Swatches . That's truly some WTF shit, dude. Are they holy because Jesus wiped his ass on them? I mean, what's up with that?

:lmao::lmao::lmao: I'm so thankful to not have had my coffee in mouth while reading this comment Ms.K, I'd for sure have blown my circuits on this computer.

 

:HaHa: Well....I apologize that in my sleep-deprived state, I made a comment full of snark and sarcasm that could have caused you to blow the circuits on your computer.

 

Of course, what you do with your computer on your own time really isn't my business, so telling me that you might have blown the circuits on your computer while drinking coffee and reading my post, well, was that really necessary? I mean, do I really need to know that much about your personal life? :grin:

 

Once again, I apologize. Eventually, I'll get some actual sleep, and return to my normal postings. Till then, perhaps I should issue a snark warning for those with beverages? Especially those with beverages contemplating sexual acts with circuitry? I hear that can be tricky..... :lmao:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel your pain. Not so much from idiots spouting pseuo-science, misinformation and FUD on TV (though I do to an extent as well, I just don't get GLC here). No, I mean snorting hot coffee *ouch.* Especially if it is just off the brewer. Almost as bad as spraying beer out of your nose.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you mean Creflo Dollar? The second one you mentioned?
Yep! That's the dude.

 

I haven't heard of the first one that's hawking Blessed Fabric Swatches ™. That's truly some WTF shit, dude. Are they holy because Jesus wiped his ass on them? I mean, what's up with that?
I tried to find that dude's "ministry" by doing a googlesearch for "prayer cloth". It seems that they guy I was talking about is hardly the only one out there pushing this stuff.

 

If you see this guy on tv, he's a big black dude, and he usually has a handful of these little squares of fabric. He keeps going on and on about how these pieces of cloth have brought so much blessings into the lives of believers. Then it goes on to show people witnessing to "healings" or "wealth" that have come into their lives since owning a prayer cloth. :mellow:

 

I'm pretty sure that none of them had skid marks on them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I tried to find that dude's "ministry" by doing a googlesearch for "prayer cloth". It seems that they guy I was talking about is hardly the only one out there pushing this stuff.

 

If you see this guy on tv, he's a big black dude, and he usually has a handful of these little squares of fabric. He keeps going on and on about how these pieces of cloth have brought so much blessings into the lives of believers. Then it goes on to show people witnessing to "healings" or "wealth" that have come into their lives since owning a prayer cloth. :mellow:

 

I'm pretty sure that none of them had skid marks on them.

 

:lmao:

 

In my fundie days, I used to watch a lot of late-night televangelists. Some middle-aged chick was hawking those little squares, but I forget what she called them. Even back then, I thought it was a little loony. She was also hawking oil to anoint your house with :loser:

 

Creflo Dollar - he either made that up himself or his parents must've hated him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Creflo Dollar - he either made that up himself or his parents must've hated him.

 

That's his actual birth name. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. :grin:

And believe me. The only people who are getting "10 fold blessings" from tithing to his ministry are him and his wife, Taffey. (Yes, her name is actually "Taffey")

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A skewering of these idiots will be in order, these are walking bullseyes to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you mean Creflo Dollar? The second one you mentioned?
Yep! That's the dude.

 

I haven't heard of the first one that's hawking Blessed Fabric Swatches . That's truly some WTF shit, dude. Are they holy because Jesus wiped his ass on them? I mean, what's up with that?
I tried to find that dude's "ministry" by doing a googlesearch for "prayer cloth". It seems that they guy I was talking about is hardly the only one out there pushing this stuff.

 

If you see this guy on tv, he's a big black dude, and he usually has a handful of these little squares of fabric. He keeps going on and on about how these pieces of cloth have brought so much blessings into the lives of believers. Then it goes on to show people witnessing to "healings" or "wealth" that have come into their lives since owning a prayer cloth. :mellow:

 

I'm pretty sure that none of them had skid marks on them.

 

 

Well, that's a little different, then. Of course, it begs the question, W.J.L.S.M.?

 

Or, Would Jesus Leave Skid Marks?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Isn't that a form of fraud he is commiting? How is he getting around the blatant bilking of people.

 

Either way, he makes it clear that he is a man of gold instead of god. Or are they one in the same?

 

I would say that I can't beleive that charlatans and quacks like Dollar and Horvind (and I honor them too much by using their names) get airtime, but then again, people like to see the unusual and "controversial" (or even blatant Bullshit), and people did pay P.T. Barnum for the freakshow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To no one in particular:

 

How can you stand to watch those shows anymore?? Seriously. Stuff like that would send me into hyperventilation in no time flat. I am especially asking those 'no ones in particular' who used to live, eat, breath and sleep this stuff, like I did.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To no one in particular:

 

How can you stand to watch those shows anymore?? Seriously. Stuff like that would send me into hyperventilation in no time flat. I am especially asking those 'no ones in particular' who used to live, eat, breath and sleep this stuff, like I did.

 

Having been one of those folks, I sometimes still tune in to one or two, if I'm surfing around and am bored enough. There's something oddly entertaining about watching people preach this retarded nonsense and watching others actually buy into it. Kind of like watching a spiritual freak show, if you follow me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To no one in particular:

 

How can you stand to watch those shows anymore?? Seriously. Stuff like that would send me into hyperventilation in no time flat. I am especially asking those 'no ones in particular' who used to live, eat, breath and sleep this stuff, like I did.

 

Having been one of those folks, I sometimes still tune in to one or two, if I'm surfing around and am bored enough. There's something oddly entertaining about watching people preach this retarded nonsense and watching others actually buy into it. Kind of like watching a spiritual freak show, if you follow me.

Maybe I was just too close to it for too long.

 

Or maybe I haven't been away from it for long enough. :shrug:

 

I just cain't do it, I tell you! I cain't maw! Don't make me!! :beg:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here is some of his "precious" bullshit. If you need a laugh, go ahead ... especially "How old is the earth" As the narrator Eric says: "solid evidence" - now who can argue with that?

 

Holy sheep shit! That's Hovind?!? I have to admit I've read his tripe & heard endless talk about his tripe, but I've never actually seen a picture of him.

 

The guy introducing his video reminds me of this dork who was on American Idol last week who was touting how he doesn't like to brag about his intelligence- all the while you're looking at this guy thinking, 'what intelligence?' If any of you saw it, it was the dude with the lame floating coaster invention.

 

I also get that icky feeling just looking at Hovind. Do you do that? Where you can just look at a person and their body language & demeanor and see they aren't as smart as they think they are.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How can you stand to watch those shows anymore?? Seriously. Stuff like that would send me into hyperventilation in no time flat. I am especially asking those 'no ones in particular' who used to live, eat, breath and sleep this stuff, like I did.

 

I know. I find some of the late-night stuff funny, but also sad. I worked in a nursing home as a housekeeper until two weeks ago, and they had that CBN blaring on their TVs in their rooms every day. And there's Pat Robertson, the evilest motherfucker of all time, telling people about how if you give him - er, God's Workers - money, God will give you money back. And, the more you give, the more you get back, and if you keep on giving and God ain't being generous, then you obviously still haven't given enough. :vent: I can just imagine how many old folks out there have had their bank accounts depleted because they gave all their money up to Pat Robertson's God.

 

Oh, and yeah, they had the "experts" on the air talking about how the Founding Fathers really did want Evangelical/Fundamentalist Christianity to be the religion of state. It basically amounts to actual total ignorance of the Constitution. It was funny because it was so desperate and stupid, but it also scared me in that there are people out there who watch this and believe it.

 

One time I'd never been so offended in my life. If you've watched CBN, you'll know of the show that consists of Monster Dee Snider Makeup Lady in this thick-carpeted room with - I am not making this up - solid gold furniture, or at least furniture covered with the bigges fucking layer of gold and rich ornamentation and silk chair cushions to make it entirely the gaudiest, ugliest shit I've ever seen. This time she had a whole group of people with her, and they were collapsed around the golden table, with their heads lying on top of it, shaking and weeping like their mothers had been shot. And of course, they're praying for the total evangelisation of the world. To make their message more appealing to the non-white masses, they had a guy from each ethnic group on there. They went around in a circle, each saying their own prayer at a time. The two that offended me the most to the point of wanting to grab a bullwhip and plane tickets? The Asian: "Please, Lord, turn my people away from their idolatry, from their sin, worshipping ugly, cold pieces of stone, languishing their lost souls in meaningless temples......" And, for the cincher, the African: "Oh, Dear Lord, please, turn my people away from their sinfulness, their worship of Satan, please, Lord, stop their pointless lives as wretched cannibals......."

 

Oh yeah, he knows "his people". :vent:

 

I wouldn't say only the good die young, but the bad and the ugly just keep going.......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like to watch the local xtain channel. I find it entertaining and I like to keep up with the new revelations. Yes, god talks to these local yahoos all the time, new and improve revelations weekly. They are all Benny Hinn wannabees. What I find so amazing is that any two prophets, preachers, pastors, bishops, whatever they are any given night ,can take one bible verse and preach a completely different sermon. :lmao::ugh: There is also some really scary ones out there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was posting on a fundamentalist site awhile back, on a thread about evolution. As I was discussing this as reasonably as possible with a mature woman, that how could it make sense to believe in a young earth, she gave me a disturbing response. She said, if the theory of evolution were to be true, it would crumble her whole foundation on which she had built her whole life.

 

I backed away. How do you deal with that? :eek:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You walk quickly and quitely away and don't look back. I would never want to be the reason for a person losing their anchor in life (even it that anchor is false), just so long as it doesn't do harm to others. - Heimdall :yellow:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You walk quickly and quitely away and don't look back. I would never want to be the reason for a person losing their anchor in life (even it that anchor is false), just so long as it doesn't do harm to others. - Heimdall :yellow:

 

:) Heimdall, don't you think that may be the same case as Dr. Hovind's and those he caters to now?

 

Think of how many people probably grew up with those foundations for their life, and based their whole life accordingly. How do you tell them there's a major shift here? I've had some minor shifts here on this site, and I tell you... it felt a little shaky inside. :twitch:

 

:HaHa:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Heimdall, don't you think that may be the same case as Dr. Hovind's and those he caters to now?

Hovind I have no sympathy for…doubt if he believes what he spouts, figure he is in it for the money and fame, nothing else. His adherents I can sympathize with, but I detest ignorance of the facts. I wouldn’t ask them to accept evolution, but rather to accept that Hovind doesn’t know his “sit down place” from a hole in the ground when it comes to dinosaurs.

 

Think of how many people probably grew up with those foundations for their life, and based their whole life accordingly. How do you tell them there's a major shift here? I've had some minor shifts here on this site, and I tell you... it felt a little shaky inside.

I can sympathize with that. I know that I have noticed a more than small shift in your posts. That is the problems with us infidels, we tend to rub off on you! :tongue: - Heimdall :yellow:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.