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How Much Shit Did You Get Thinking For Yourself?


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Inspired by the "What Makes You Different?" thread, how much shit did you get growing up because you were too independent or because you thought for yourself instead of just playing along?

 

As for me, I was told my whole life that I think too much and after I went to college, my dad pulled me aside and told me that since I went to school I had become unbearable.  I probably am here at times, but around my family, I keep my thoughts pretty much to myself.  At most, I'd probably asked him too many pointed questions about some inane creationist idea he proposed. 

 

It was like a kick in the gut as instead of being proud of me for graduating with an overall 3.75 and being the only one in my immediate family with a degree, I was told I no longer fit in. 

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You know.  Your family should be proud of your accomplishment.  I respect you for it.

 

I am a huge fan of Ayn Rand and she loved thinking people and the person of an active mind.  Her writings helped me make my transition in fact.  I don't think it's possible to think too much.  I do think it's possible to overanalyze a situation, but too much creative thinking?  No.

 

to answer your question... yes.  I got grief for it.

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I never get why Rand gets so much flak.

 

Yeah, she gets rant, but she's a good writer, and her ideas are pretty on the level (for the most part...).

 

IMO, Rand was a hack writer and a miserable, hateful bitch.

 

Top 10 Reasons Why Rand Was Wrong

 

However, I do find it deliciously ironic that Rand, notorious for her atheism, is the hero of a lot of right-wing fundigelicals.

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Not much. Just the typical disappointment, here and there. Lost friendships within the church, that I really didn't care about too much, anyway. My family is more tolerant of it; even if there are many, within the extended, who don't agree.

 

 

I'm probably gonna get a Christian burial though lmao It's not like I would care what happens to my body after I die, so I might as well please the religious. The only thing I have is my organ donor titles, for when I die. The religious aren't getting THAT one.

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However, I do find it deliciously ironic that Rand, notorious for her atheism, is the hero of a lot of right-wing fundigelicals.

 

 

they bend what she says to fit like they do with their bible.  She would scorn many of them and flick a cigarette ash upon them.

 

 

I am really sorry OP - I did not mean to hijack your thread.  I see that I need to not reference her here.  I will do a thread sometime if we can keep it civil.  It will be a collossal failure of a thread I'm sure!!

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However, I do find it deliciously ironic that Rand, notorious for her atheism, is the hero of a lot of right-wing fundigelicals.

 

 

they bend what she says to fit like they do with their bible.  She would scorn many of them and flick a cigarette ash upon them.

 

 

I am really sorry OP - I did not mean to hijack your thread.  I see that I need to not reference her here.  I will do a thread sometime if we can keep it civil.  It will be a collossal failure of a thread I'm sure!!

 

 

Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack this thread either. Just can't help having a negative reaction whenever Rand is mentioned.

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I am more of the sit back and observe type. But I do remember a few times getting "talked to" because I asked blunt questions when it wasn't considered polite. My family is pretty formal and would never have public religious or political discussions.  I learned quickly to wait until later and look up the answers myself.  

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Inspired by the "What Makes You Different?" thread, how much shit did you get growing up because you were too independent or because you thought for yourself instead of just playing along?

 

 

I think I have always paid a price for being different. It's difficult for me to maintain friendships and meaningful relationships because I don't settle for living with my head in the sand. I sometimes feel like it makes me conceited and that pushes people away. And I'm the black sheep of the family. So my family is different than most people we know, and then of my family, I'm the different one. I kind of live a very isolated, lonely life.

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Inspired by the "What Makes You Different?" thread, how much shit did you get growing up because you were too independent or because you thought for yourself instead of just playing along?

 

 

I think I have always paid a price for being different. It's difficult for me to maintain friendships and meaningful relationships because I don't settle for living with my head in the sand. I sometimes feel like it makes me conceited and that pushes people away. And I'm the black sheep of the family. So my family is different than most people we know, and then of my family, I'm the different one. I kind of live a very isolated, lonely life.

Black sheep unite! I was different and lonely too. I got teased a lot for being out of the box, creative, etc. for a while everyone in my family was in denial about a really bad situation and I was the only one trying to fix it. Everyone treated me like I was the problem and refused to get their heads out their asses.

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Inspired by the "What Makes You Different?" thread, how much shit did you get growing up because you were too independent or because you thought for yourself instead of just playing along?

 

As for me, I was told my whole life that I think too much and after I went to college, my dad pulled me aside and told me that since I went to school I had become unbearable.  I probably am here at times, but around my family, I keep my thoughts pretty much to myself.  At most, I'd probably asked him too many pointed questions about some inane creationist idea he proposed. 

 

It was like a kick in the gut as instead of being proud of me for graduating with an overall 3.75 and being the only one in my immediate family with a degree, I was told I no longer fit in. 

 

Keep thinking, sir. :-)

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Black sheep here.  I get into a whole lot of shit for thinking for myself.  Everyone thinks I'm a bitch, especially the former church friends.  They see me as a bitch and as an evil son of a gun because I won't accept their lovely Christian religion of human and animal blood sacrifices.  I am obviously pure evil because I don't love Jesus.  Their Jesus is a puppy-dog of a man who can do no wrong, so anybody that dislikes him has marked themselves out as a devil.  I remember the beginning, how my adoptive father would glare at me because I wouldn't sing along to the church hymns.  I would be yelled at when I got home.  But I could not sing them because they meant nothing to me.  If you are gonna sing, sing from what you feel in the heart.  If your heart doesn't sing it then it means nothing to you or anyone else.  So I could not sing along. 

I do have a reputation for being evil and have accepted that's just how it's going to be.  I don't love what I'm "supposed" to love.  I love the forbidden fruits.  I can't love something or someone just because I'm told its the right thing to do.  I have to feel from my heart.  That makes me evil in their eyes: not loving what they love, and not wanting what they want, and dreaming dreams for myself outside of what the bible says is good and acceptable. 

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I love the forbidden fruits. I can't love something or someone just because I'm told its the right thing to do. I have to feel from my heart. That makes me evil in their eyes: not loving what they love, and not wanting what they want, and dreaming dreams for myself outside of what the bible says is good and acceptable.

This is me as well. I can't stand the "life plan" the bible has for women. Or the idea of "virtue." Makes me feel ill.

 

On the other hand, I spent a lot of time feeling guilty and dirty for my desires. But now I'm unlearning all that crap and it feels good to be "sinful." I am quite enjoying it.

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Inspired by the "What Makes You Different?" thread, how much shit did you get growing up because you were too independent or because you thought for yourself instead of just playing along?

 

As for me, I was told my whole life that I think too much and after I went to college, my dad pulled me aside and told me that since I went to school I had become unbearable.  I probably am here at times, but around my family, I keep my thoughts pretty much to myself.  At most, I'd probably asked him too many pointed questions about some inane creationist idea he proposed. 

 

It was like a kick in the gut as instead of being proud of me for graduating with an overall 3.75 and being the only one in my immediate family with a degree, I was told I no longer fit in. 

 

What a load of shit. They are mistreating you period.

 

When I graduated with my first degree being the only person in 3 generations of my family to even bother with it I earned a level of respect from the rest of them I previously had not enjoyed.

 

Sorry to hear that you are being treated this way for furthering yourself and your intellect.

 

If their uneducated asses can't accept you as you are I would challenge them directly about it. Of course they are your family and this may not be desirable for you to do. Either way there are those out there that appreciate an educated individual over all the primitive morons clogging up our societies world wide. I appreciate that you educated yourself and moved beyond the ignorant masses. I may be a nobody but I know I am better off for every man and woman that will seek outside themselves for more than they started with.

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I love the forbidden fruits. I can't love something or someone just because I'm told its the right thing to do. I have to feel from my heart. That makes me evil in their eyes: not loving what they love, and not wanting what they want, and dreaming dreams for myself outside of what the bible says is good and acceptable.

This is me as well. I can't stand the "life plan" the bible has for women. Or the idea of "virtue." Makes me feel ill.

 

On the other hand, I spent a lot of time feeling guilty and dirty for my desires. But now I'm unlearning all that crap and it feels good to be "sinful." I am quite enjoying it.

 

 

I could fill my left hand with poop and have more virtue than most christians do...

 

You have nothing to feel guilty for unless you hurt others intentionally. Their plan is their plan. Your plan is the only one that counts. When they try and push theirs on you be a brick wall for them to slam into. You deserve to enjoy your life for your own reasons.

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Inspired by the "What Makes You Different?" thread, how much shit did you get growing up because you were too independent or because you thought for yourself instead of just playing along?

 

As for me, I was told my whole life that I think too much and after I went to college, my dad pulled me aside and told me that since I went to school I had become unbearable.  I probably am here at times, but around my family, I keep my thoughts pretty much to myself.  At most, I'd probably asked him too many pointed questions about some inane creationist idea he proposed. 

 

It was like a kick in the gut as instead of being proud of me for graduating with an overall 3.75 and being the only one in my immediate family with a degree, I was told I no longer fit in. 

 

What a load of shit. They are mistreating you period.

 

When I graduated with my first degree being the only person in 3 generations of my family to even bother with it I earned a level of respect from the rest of them I previously had not enjoyed.

 

Sorry to hear that you are being treated this way for furthering yourself and your intellect.

 

If their uneducated asses can't accept you as you are I would challenge them directly about it. Of course they are your family and this may not be desirable for you to do. Either way there are those out there that appreciate an educated individual over all the primitive morons clogging up our societies world wide. I appreciate that you educated yourself and moved beyond the ignorant masses. I may be a nobody but I know I am better off for every man and woman that will seek outside themselves for more than they started with.

 

 

This took place around 20 years ago.  I get along well with my family, but our topics of conversation are quite limited as I have a low tolerance for ignorance and they a low tolerance for having it pointed out.  We stick to subjects that are less likely to get us into conflict.  I don't live in the same country with them, so there aren't many opportunities to butt heads these days anyway. 

 

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Black sheep… it didn't take me long to figure out that I really didn't belong with my family of origin (Dad's side) I've always thought for myself, asked questions, challenged the status quo, held people to their word (i.e.: hypocrisy). Being true to myself has been the bane of my younger life… but ultimately worth it.

 

It's nice to be older and not really give a fuck anymore.  :D

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Ah, I have been called moralizing, also too sensitive having no humor because I did not find it funny when my dad made the same jokes again and again...like when getting chocolate as a present he would say, that I could keep the paper and he would get the chocolate...

 

Also people including my parents told me repeatedly that I would think too much. Due to early childhood trauma I had great difficulties with school but my parents just thought I was not bright enough for it. And while getting treated as not that bright I believed to not be that bright and it never really crossed my mind that thinking much was not something I did due to wanting to put myself in the center of attention but something intelligent people do. Therefore it confused me when people would not get easy concepts of something while I as the not so bright one would understand them right away...and that confusion held on to this day because even though now I know better...this runs deep. But well...I am working on it :-).

 

I also have found the perfect major for someone who thinks too much :-D. My plan is to study Philosophy and German and it excites me even though I wait till next fall. I am very proud I got my degree that allows me to go to university and I just signed up for the next semester so I can do the latin test that is required to graduate at the philosophical faculty. Yey!

 

To stop thinking so much would be to stop being me. It is something that kinda kills me at my current job. There is not much to think there...

 

As for my family, I have never truly been one of them since I came into this family at the age of four, being adopted at the age of eight and then being the oldest and only girl of five children of whom I am the only adopted one. Also with my birth family I am quite different. Only one of my two half sisters who is twenty years younger than me seems to be very alike. But she could be my daughter and is in puberty right now.

 

It feels very good to attend that latin class because those students seem to be so much more like me than anyone I have ever met.

 

OK, enough :-).

And cheers to all the thinkers here which I guess is everyone. I think we are an awesome bunch of smart asses.

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Black sheep… it didn't take me long to figure out that I really didn't belong with my family of origin (Dad's side) I've always thought for myself, asked questions, challenged the status quo, held people to their word (i.e.: hypocrisy). Being true to myself has been the bane of my younger life… but ultimately worth it.

 

It's nice to be older and not really give a fuck anymore.  biggrin.png

 

It's cool you figured it out early.  I'm a slow learner.  I naively thought my family would be proud because they raised me to be honest.  It took me a long time to learn that honesty has it's limits and really isn't valued in most circles. 

 

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I did not find it funny when my dad made the same jokes again and again...like when getting chocolate as a present he would say, that I could keep the paper and he would get the chocolate...

 

Oh man, our fathers must be related.  My dad is famous for his groaners (jokes that make you groan).  And he thinks its funny to repeat them year after year as if you've never heard them before.  I try and humor him, but I'm not a good actor. 

 

And while getting treated as not that bright I believed to not be that bright and it never really crossed my mind that thinking much was not something I did due to wanting to put myself in the center of attention but something intelligent people do. Therefore it confused me when people would not get easy concepts of something while I as the not so bright one would understand them right away...

 

Yeah, I can related to a lot of that.  I always assumed I was just average and made it all the way through HS and several years after graduation thinking such.  I was never challenged and found school work a bore and worst of all, I was in near literal hell doing tedious work that others seemed to just accept as tolerable and part of life.  It wasn't until I went to college that I figured out that the issue was with my teachers and those around me and not me.  I found the work much easier to comprehend than many of my fellow classmates and found a new world open to me.  College, for me, was my Road to Damascus moment. 

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I wasn't really raised as a fundy (just sent to a fundigelical Methodist Sunday School for a while), and my father wasn't really religious (he became a non-believer at the end) but he never did grow out of right-wing Republicanism. It annoyed me greatly that whenever I espoused a liberal idea, he'd demand to know, "Who put you up to that?" as if I couldn't possibly develop an idea that he didn't share. I guess he was sort of a fundy after all.

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I was always different and didn't fit in with peers. But at the same time was uber-shy and wouldn't express my opinions, usually. So I think most of my "not going along with the crowd" was ignored as me just being a reclusive weirdo. But they treated me like shit as often as possible.

 

I did fit in with church people (again not my age group, but older) but eventually started butting heads with a new pastor over cults and New Age beliefs that I saw infiltrating the church, but which he saw as a new gift from god.

 

That same willingness to not cow to church authority led me to leave church with my wife after the pastor kept demanding more involvement and time commitments. It also led me to break away from a guy that many saw as a modern day apostle. Then it led me to this site, which initially scared my wife. Now 7 years later, we are both out of the church and doing well. We rarely see anyone from the old church. The most questioning I had was from our dear Russian friends, who are staunch Pentecostals. But they didn't reject us, though we rarely see each other now.

 

I think the most shit I get now is from a coworker who is OCD about his way of doing things, and I rarely fit in with his views. So he makes no bones about wishing I were gone. But everyone else there likes me and my work, and they recognize that he's often a jerk. So there is balance.

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My chosen field of work, psychology/counseling/substance abuse, is seen as competing world-view to Christianity by my family. Any exciting new job prospects or news is dismissed as being outside of God's plan for my life. I have fallen away from The Lord. My education is invalid because it is not Biblical. It's all spiritual warfare where I am now seen as a threat to the family with my beliefs and opinions. 

 

What's funny is people like my family dismiss the mental health field and bemoan how they have usurped the work done by churches and Christians yet never do any real world work. In order to solve mental illness or alcoholism their solution is to pray and go to church. Meanwhile, thousands and thousands of people are instead doing real world things to the benefit of others around them by being counselors, social workers, psychologists etc... Not just circle jerking in a worship service. 

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