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Goodbye Jesus

Xtian Cliches


All Gods Fail

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Christian says:

How about this: I love you, my brother and/or sister.

 

Christian means:

 

I plan on raking up brownie points with my God by converting you.

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Well... a young woman I know who lost a sister to a violent suicide has heard the following...

 

1. At her sister's funeral - from the pastor - first line of the sermon: "We don't know whether _____ went to heaven, or not.....". (After the funeral, the family decided to have a private memorial service later and NOT invite the pastor.)

 

2. From several people, for months after the suicide, "God doesn't give you anything more than you can handle".

 

3. From several people, for months after the suicide, "God must have had a reason.....".

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Well... a young woman I know who lost a sister to a violent suicide has heard the following...

 

1. At her sister's funeral - from the pastor - first line of the sermon: "We don't know whether _____ went to heaven, or not.....". (After the funeral, the family decided to have a private memorial service later and NOT invite the pastor.)

 

2. From several people, for months after the suicide, "God doesn't give you anything more than you can handle".

 

3. From several people, for months after the suicide, "God must have had a reason.....".

 

Yes, I heard the "god must have had a reason" cliche' for months after the fire too. Any god who goes around murdering people just so they can be tortured in hell for all of eternity is not a god worth worshipping.

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Well... a young woman I know who lost a sister to a violent suicide has heard the following...

 

1. At her sister's funeral - from the pastor - first line of the sermon: "We don't know whether _____ went to heaven, or not.....". (After the funeral, the family decided to have a private memorial service later and NOT invite the pastor.)

 

2. From several people, for months after the suicide, "God doesn't give you anything more than you can handle".

 

3. From several people, for months after the suicide, "God must have had a reason.....".

 

Yes, I heard the "god must have had a reason" cliche' for months after the fire too. Any god who goes around murdering people just so they can be tortured in hell for all of eternity is not a god worth worshipping.

 

 

What I could never reconcile (among other legitimate things ... suicide is hard to reconcile on many levels) but as far as the fundies are concerned I couldn't reconcile these two points.

 

"We don't know whether _____ went to heaven, or not...."

 

and...

 

"God must have had a reason.....".

 

As in "God must have had a reason to call ________ home so he could throw her into hell???

:vent::banghead:

 

I mean - I just don't get that kind of thinking.... :banghead:

 

What?????? God just got out of bed one morning and decided: "I feel like throwing someone into hell today". Looks around the world and decides that no one worthy of hell is about to die, so that gives him "a reason" to induce suicide. :banghead:

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How about this: I love you, my brother and/or sister.

I've never heard that one.

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How about this: I love you, my brother and/or sister.

I've never heard that one.

 

I have, and it's extremely condescending. I am an only child. I have no brothers or sisters. I don't consider total strangers part of my family, especially when the total stranger doesn't accept me for who I am and is trying to make me be someone who I am not and push something down my throat when I never asked for it in the first place.

 

Why is it that we are supposed to live and let live, but they can't do the same?

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"God shall be your comfort" - said in many MANY cliched and syrupy Christian cards sent to my landlady who has recently discovered to have a particularly vicious strain of bowel cancer.

 

It's so comforting isn't it? That the same god who gave you cancer will now ease the pain with some lovely bible verses and a few platitudes about healing? If god really wants to comfort you, he should just *poof* take the cancer away. That would be hella comforting.

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"God shall be your comfort" - said in many MANY cliched and syrupy Christian cards sent to my landlady who has recently discovered to have a particularly vicious strain of bowel cancer.

 

It's so comforting isn't it? That the same god who gave you cancer will now ease the pain with some lovely bible verses and a few platitudes about healing? If god really wants to comfort you, he should just *poof* take the cancer away. That would be hella comforting.

 

Wow, Cerise-- I've never gotten that one. Those that have been my comfort are my friends and family. Never a damn deity!

 

If I was afflicted with cancer, getting something like that in a card would spark such blind rage.

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"God shall be your comfort" - said in many MANY cliched and syrupy Christian cards sent to my landlady who has recently discovered to have a particularly vicious strain of bowel cancer.

 

It's so comforting isn't it? That the same god who gave you cancer will now ease the pain with some lovely bible verses and a few platitudes about healing? If god really wants to comfort you, he should just *poof* take the cancer away. That would be hella comforting.

 

Wow, Cerise-- I've never gotten that one. Those that have been my comfort are my friends and family. Never a damn deity!

 

If I was afflicted with cancer, getting something like that in a card would spark such blind rage.

Concerning what happens when we die has anyone heard, "Well if I,m wrong then it won,t matter. But if you are wrong then watch out!" The sort of ' I,m hedging my bet ' quote , liberally laced with an after death threat!

I usually say, "if it's got people like you there, why on earth would I want to spend eternity there????!!"

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Concerning what happens when we die has anyone heard, "Well if I,m wrong then it won,t matter. But if you are wrong then watch out!" The sort of ' I,m hedging my bet ' quote , liberally laced with an after death threat!

I usually say, "if it's got people like you there, why on earth would I want to spend eternity there????!!"

 

The people who say it are not always people I dislike. They are misguided on religion, but so was I once.

If I say anything, it something along the line of:

... Looking at it now objectively, from the outside, I am so absolutely certain that even if there is a God the Xian interpretation complete with eternal damnation and bodily resurrection is not anywhere near to reality. It is a logical contradiction that could not possibly be true in any rational universe.

Of course that doesn't win many "converts" - not that I care.

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Concerning what happens when we die has anyone heard, "Well if I,m wrong then it won,t matter. But if you are wrong then watch out!" The sort of ' I,m hedging my bet ' quote , liberally laced with an after death threat!

I usually say, "if it's got people like you there, why on earth would I want to spend eternity there????!!"

 

The people who say it are not always people I dislike. They are misguided on religion, but so was I once.

If I say anything, it something along the line of:

... Looking at it now objectively, from the outside, I am so absolutely certain that even if there is a God the Xian interpretation complete with eternal damnation and bodily resurrection is not anywhere near to reality. It is a logical contradiction that could not possibly be true in any rational universe.

Of course that doesn't win many "converts" - not that I care.

 

 

Phooey on rationalization. When dealing with fundies, I always pull the Jewish Messiah card. :grin:

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