Why Oh, Oh Why Didn't I Take The Blue Pill?-- My Painful Exodus From Christianity

[milesaway]

I'm so sorry they treated you that horribly, Rach. It doesn't surprise me, though. Christendom tends to be a social club created by the privileged and for the privileged. Remember that their behavior had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. The praise and acceptance was the bait, and then they showed their true colors once you were a part of their social club. It's the age-old tactic of every abuser and snake oil salesman. The way people treat others is a reflection of how they feel inside, and those people must have really felt awful about themselves. However, it's no excuse for taking it out on others and lashing out at them. Their behavior was wrong back then, and it's wrong now. 

 

I get it. I never once found the friendship and acceptance I was so desperately looking for at the last church I attended. I was never going to find it, and the reason why is b/c they were never capable of giving it to me. I wanted to be like them so bad. I wanted them to like me. They only came around when they wanted something, otherwise they ignored me, disrespected me and pitied me. It was one of the catalysts behind my departure, among other things. I felt like I wasn't good enough for them, and it was in the past year or so that I realized that they weren't good enough for me! It's the same for you and anyone else who's been screwed over and kicked around by their former church communities: THEY weren't good enough for YOU. Any relationship with them was contingent upon things you had no control over, and what they had to offer you was worthless. True friendship and true love is only contingent upon the other person not treating you like crap, putting you in harm's way or disrespecting you. 

 

You may have been tolerated in your old church community, but here, you're accepted and celebrated. 

[HardTruth]

This is certainly familiar.  I went public as an atheist 6 years ago, and only three people ever said a word to me about it.  My sister, who reacted... poorly, and now views me as an emotionless and uncaring robot, and two of my many Christian friends, only one of whom has spoken to me multiple times since.

 

They want to say we choose to be atheists.  No, I fought it.  Hard.  But I just can't believe something that I don't think is true.  My life would have been so much easier had I just stayed in the church, but I just couldn't do it.

 

Now, given the chance to go back and somehow convince my younger self to make a different choice, I would not take it.  Like Sagan said, better the hard truth than the comfortable lie.

[RipVanWinkle]

OvercameFaith: I really like all of the posts on this thread, but yours (#3) was really exceptional. I always like your posts, but I give you an A+ on this one. Rip

[Guest Furball]

Wow. great extimony. Very thorough and intelligently written. Great job, thanks for sharing. Welcome to Ex-C!

[florduh]

Welcome to Ex-C.

 

Everyone's escape from the cult is different. Personally, I had an easy time of it when the final realization that Christianity is bullshit hit me during a Moody class on Revelation. Upon examination we find there is nothing that supports the claims of Christianity or the validity of its basis, the Bible. I never saw the value of a pretend church like UU just to fill a social need. I had real friends when I was a Christian and I found more after I left. I walked away, never to look back, never ashamed of my conclusions or opinions, still no regrets. Many Christians may love someone as long as they are a brother or sister in Christ; those who don't share a belief in the cult's teachings are dropped like a rotten fish. Obviously, in that case one has lost nothing of value when the Christian pretend friend/loving relative cuts you off as they never cared for YOU anyway.

[GabbyKitty]

 

I am curious, do either of you attend a Unitarian church?  I feel a bit of a void...wanting the community that church brought.  I know a lot of people attend "liberal" churches and see it as cultural and hear a good message.  I feel like I've been so indoctrinated and raised that the Bible was 100% God's word that doing the "liberal" thing might be impossible for me.  Still trying to figure this one out...

 I have been attending an Interfaith spiritual community. All beliefe systems are honored and questions are encouraged. These "hell bound sinners" were the first ones who loved me for who I was, without any conditions. Hmmmm, sounds like what Christians are told to do, but more often than not, don't.

[eXcelInferno]

I really identify with you, Salemite. Thanks for sharing. Your list of reasons why you deconverted were excellent and very true. You've helped me through my own deconversion. Thanks.