bleedblue22 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I've been done with Christianity for quite awhile. However, my parents and my friends seem to have this idea that I am "struggling with my faith." When I was questioning the Christian faith, I would call it more investigating than "struggling." I just wanted to know whether Christianity was true. Why is it that Christians make faith out to be a set of beliefs that are unlike any other proposition that requires examination of its truth claims? I guess my mind never worked like a normal Christian's. I could never believe in Christianity unless I had investigated it's claims and it had stood up to scrutiny. To investigate the truth of something shouldn't be considered "struggling with it." Ive investigated the theory of evolution and had some doubts about it, but I kept learning more and now I think it's essentially an accurate explanation of biodiversity. When I doubt a theory, idea, or belief, I don't "struggle" with it. I just examine it in the light of the evidence available to me and either drop it or validate it as true. This idea of just dropping beliefs that you find to be inaccurate or unsubstantiated does not seem to compute with my family or friends. They seem to think I'm in some sort of serious internal conflict or that I'm mad at God or something. I feel nothing towards "god." My objection to the existence of a god or gods is not emotional. So it's not a struggle. It was just a well researched, hard thought out decision that Christianity is unreasonable and not a belief system to live my life by. Why can't my family and friends understand this? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rach Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 It's called denial they cannot accept that someone would actually want to leave Christ, so they convince themselves that you are just merely struggling. Struggling implies you'll return to the fold after you get things sorted out. Struggling means you're still part of their team. All Christians are supposed to struggle their way into heaven through various trials so it still fits their expectations. Christians are not supposed to leave altogether. It's too jarring for them. It probably means, in their little minds, that you are damned. It's too much. My a-family insists that I am "just struggling" and "being tested" and "being refined" and so on. I have left. I am not a prodigal that turns back. I have not said a positive word about Christianity in years. Have not shown my face in church, have not joined a prayer, have not read a bible, have not wanted anything to do with Jesus. But my family can not accept me as a non-believer, so all they have to do is slap a new label on me. "Backslidden" "struggling" "confused" "prodigal child". Because the only alternative label is "damned." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violetbutterfly Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 The people who know about me also think I'm just "having a faith crisis" and "doing some questioning" and I'll be back soon. Um....nope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penguin Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I catch myself using the common phrasing, "doubting my faith" or "having a crisis of faith." As a Christian I was brought up with these phrases to describe those who had left Christianity behind, so I was still stuck in that frame of mind even after I walked away. People don't want to believe that someone could leave the faith. It's seen as walking into Hell, essentially, so the phrasing is designed (rather cleverly) to present some kind of hope that you'll return. After all, "if you were really a Christian, you'd return to Christ." What it comes down to is a tactic to keep Christians pestering you. The Church encourages the phrasing by using it, so then people think you'll eventually come back if you just get through your "doubt" or your "crisis." The folks who love you (or at least like you) don't want to believe you've crossed over to the dark side. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Your millage may vary but I consider faith to be the part where you assume it is true. In my teens and 20's I assumed the whole Bible and all of Christianity was true. Then I went through a phase where I slowly thought bit by bit that part of it might be a metaphor. Then one day there was nothing left that I assumed was true. That is the day my faith died. My mom has these talks with me where she starts out with "I know you feel like God abandoned you". I try to explain to her that it isn't like that but my words don't put much of a dampener on the dialog she has with herself when she prays. I do not look forward to more Christians finding out I do not have faith. I'm not struggling with faith. I'm done with faith. No more faith for me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Furball Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Why can't my family and friends understand this? Because they are (i am assuming) still inside the christian system of beliefs. People who are in the christian faith have no idea, or have forgotten what it was like outside the "faith." This happens with anyone in any walk of life. I meet people all the time and a lot of the times i think why is this person acting like this or why do they believe this or that, it is quite common among daily life. Don't pay any attention to what anyone thinks or says. It is your life. It doesn't matter that they don't understand this, they will never understand it until they are deconverted from their system of beliefs and have their eyes opened to the truth as you have. The only thing that matters in this situation is that you understand why you believe what you believe. Solid Op, and glad to see your back. I thought you may have decided to leave blue. Welcome back. -Cat 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bleedblue22 Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 Because they are (i am assuming) still inside the christian system of beliefs. People who are in the christian faith have no idea, or have forgotten what it was like outside the "faith." This happens with anyone in any walk of life. I meet people all the time and a lot of the times i think why is this person acting like this or why do they believe this or that, it is quite common among daily life. Don't pay any attention to what anyone thinks or says. It is your life. It doesn't matter that they don't understand this, they will never understand it until they are deconverted from their system of beliefs and have their eyes opened to the truth as you have. The only thing that matters in this situation is that you understand why you believe what you believe. Solid Op, and glad to see your back. I thought you may have decided to leave blue. Welcome back. -Cat Thanks! The constant Bible verses my parents keep sending me as well bringing up sermons about "just having faith" had me coming back looking to vent. I'm never gonna be able to remove Christianity from my life until I move out. And then as long as I have a relationship with my parents, it's gonna be a sore, awkward spot. Thanks everyone else for the responses as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penguin Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Because they are (i am assuming) still inside the christian system of beliefs. People who are in the christian faith have no idea, or have forgotten what it was like outside the "faith." This happens with anyone in any walk of life. I meet people all the time and a lot of the times i think why is this person acting like this or why do they believe this or that, it is quite common among daily life. Don't pay any attention to what anyone thinks or says. It is your life. It doesn't matter that they don't understand this, they will never understand it until they are deconverted from their system of beliefs and have their eyes opened to the truth as you have. The only thing that matters in this situation is that you understand why you believe what you believe. Solid Op, and glad to see your back. I thought you may have decided to leave blue. Welcome back. -Cat Thanks! The constant Bible verses my parents keep sending me as well bringing up sermons about "just having faith" had me coming back looking to vent. I'm never gonna be able to remove Christianity from my life until I move out. And then as long as I have a relationship with my parents, it's gonna be a sore, awkward spot. Thanks everyone else for the responses as well! I'm in the same place: Christianity will be hammered down on me in some way until I move away from my family. My sister and brother-in-law, I think, will be able to accept me, but if I ever completely "out" myself to my Dad, he won't leave it alone. My plan is to move out on my own, come out to my sister and her husband, and then try to keep under the radar from my Dad. Once I've gained some distance from him (geographically and personally), I won't have to "play the part" as much. In my situation, there's no love lost between my Dad and me, so when he dies, I won't really be broken up about it. If anything, it will be a relief to have his abusive influence out of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llwellyn Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Christian doctrine includes ideas such as divine hate/love, and labels such as "sinner"/"saint." Conversion tracks with obedience, and rejection tracks with rebeliousness. For that reason, when the faith passes into and out of a human mind, it is usually an emotional experience of anxiety, despair, elation, etc. For some people, this existential drama is a lot of the appeal of the religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Christianity - or a large part of it at least - validates itself with the doctrine of "once saved, always saved". Therefore your loss of faith cannot be permanent - or even anything other than illusory - in the eyes of such. By the way - what is a "normal Christian"...? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 ... Why can't my family and friends understand this? Because they do not question their religious beliefs. That is their problem, not yours. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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