Childless Because Of Sin?

[Angel]

I am curious if anyone else has ever had a run in with a few christians that pointed out the reason you do not have children (or unable to conceive) is due to sin in your life and you are out of the will of god?

I had that happen to me more than once because my husband and I do not have children. I remember one time I had a test come back positive, but I did not take that as 100% sure thing, until I saw my doctor. I had a pastor (who was female) get in my face, yelling at me that I was not accepting a gift from god, that I needed to quit doubting him and allow him to bless me. Well, the doctor told me that it was a false positive. Well then all the bull shit started. (the same bull shit that I have heard before) OHHHH don't claim that sister, it can still happen, blah blah blah. Ohhh sister, you should not have doubted god!

Has anyone ever been/seen this crap???

[Lycorth]

That makes me think of how many Xians act as if every calamity is a gift from their god which we must put up with unless and until he decides to change it, presumably as a show of his phony-baloney love.

 

Thankfully my Xian parents committed apostasy, therefore, by getting me the three expensive and difficult operations I needed to get my eyes straightened, or else I'd be blind burden instead of able to take care of myself. I love the sops Xians make up to explain the bad things that happen instead of just trying to overcome challenges.

 

It's another way Xianity just encourages laziness and social and personal degeneration, waiting for Jesus™ to come back.

[Angel]

That makes me think of how many Xians act as if every calamity is a gift from their god which we must put up with unless and until he decides to change it, presumably as a show of his phony-baloney love.

 

Thankfully my Xian parents committed apostasy, therefore, by getting me the three expensive and difficult operations I needed to get my eyes straightened, or else I'd be blind burden instead of able to take care of myself. I love the sops Xians make up to explain the bad things that happen instead of just trying to overcome challenges.

 

It's another way Xianity just encourages laziness and social and personal degeneration, waiting for Jesus™ to come back.

 

First of all, I am glad your parents made the decision they did for you. Wished all christians were smart enough to do so.

But you are right about this line of thinking... all bull shit.

They are so easy to pass judgement on someone in the church not having kids... but what about that hooker that has a child and has a choice of 50 fathers, take a pick? I suppose god wanted that child here....or the crack baby....or the children that are abused all over this country.... god's will, right? Yet, they say that because of a sin in a christian's life, they are not able to have kids. How messed up is that???? They think they have all of life's answers when in the actual, they do not know shit.

[white_raven23]

To be honest, I'm just flat annoyed at people who barely fucking knowing me thinking there is something "wrong" with the fact that I'm unmarried and childless. They treat it like a problem that must be "fixed". And then they start giving me advice on how to get my own male creature.

 

I mean, hey, I like men and all. But just because I don't have one of my own doesn't mean THE focus of my life is obtaining my own specimen.

 

I really hate it when they pity me....and it's always other women doing this to me too....the guys I know feel no need to fix what ain't broke (smart guys).

[Lycorth]

In the end, hardcore Xians are trained to look at the world in such a way as to use every little thing that happens in it to justify their religion. Something happens, and it's their god's will. Something doesn't happen, it's still their god's will. They say "God is in control" and gosh darn it, they will back that up to the hilt. Even when I was a Xian, I didn't believe God was in control of the whole works. It was pretty clear he wasn't, or else he was a retard.

 

That, and "Gawd's Will" is their security blanket. Without that, Xians have to face a universe full of random and inexplicable events. They cannot accept that which they cannot explain, so there is no chance nor random happenstance, just the "Willa Gawd."

 

White Raven - I agree. Not everyone is cut out for marriage and such, and that's what floats their boat. Who is anyone to judge that? There are plenty of folks who want to get married and have kids and so on, so the human race isn't about to die just because you don't want to get hitched and such. Especially Xians; they usually cannot deal with those who don't want to bring more souls into the world to turn into good little Xian drones. Where will the cult be if no new Xians are produced? After all, Jesus™ hasn't come back in 2000 years, so they need to make sure he will "find faith on earth" when he does return

[Angel]

To be honest, I'm just flat annoyed at people who barely fucking knowing me thinking there is something "wrong" with the fact that I'm unmarried and childless. They treat it like a problem that must be "fixed". And then they start giving me advice on how to get my own male creature.

 

I mean, hey, I like men and all. But just because I don't have one of my own doesn't mean THE focus of my life is obtaining my own specimen.

 

I really hate it when they pity me....and it's always other women doing this to me too....the guys I know feel no need to fix what ain't broke (smart guys).

 

 

 

I hear ya! They are soooooo easy to jump to conclusions. I have also heard the question... "Don't you like kids?" I mean, just because my husband I do not have a child, does not mean we do not like kids. Just because we don't have children does not mean we are being punished by the monster in the sky, it just means it has not happened, plain and simple.

Ditto about the pity party.... UGH that is annoying. I have had friends rub it in my face this kinda line.... "There are people that have children that don't want them and abuse them, then there are people like you that would be good parents and can not have them...."

UGH UGH UGH!!!!!!!!!!!

But like you said, don't try to fix something that ain't broke. Me and the husband are happy the way our lives are right now....with or without a child Again like you mentioned about your situation, same with me, it is not my focus.

 

 

 

In the end, hardcore Xians are trained to look at the world in such a way as to use every little thing that happens in it to justify their religion. Something happens, and it's their god's will. Something doesn't happen, it's still their god's will. They say "God is in control" and gosh darn it, they will back that up to the hilt. Even when I was a Xian, I didn't believe God was in control of the whole works. It was pretty clear he wasn't, or else he was a retard.

 

That, and "Gawd's Will" is their security blanket. Without that, Xians have to face a universe full of random and inexplicable events. They cannot accept that which they cannot explain, so there is no chance nor random happenstance, just the "Willa Gawd."

 

White Raven - I agree. Not everyone is cut out for marriage and such, and that's what floats their boat. Who is anyone to judge that? There are plenty of folks who want to get married and have kids and so on, so the human race isn't about to die just because you don't want to get hitched and such. Especially Xians; they usually cannot deal with those who don't want to bring more souls into the world to turn into good little Xian drones. Where will the cult be if no new Xians are produced? After all, Jesus™ hasn't come back in 2000 years, so they need to make sure he will "find faith on earth" when he does return

 

Oh yes, god is in control... ok, whatever.... they can believe what they want but we all know the truth, the REAL truth. Things just happen...that is how I believe. About what you said to White Raven, I second that!!! I have an uncle that is not married, does not mean he is gay or he does not like women, just that he has not found the right person to be his companion....and he is not out looking either. People try to get him out there to find someone, he just has no desire to. If it happens, it happens, if not, he is ok with that too. He has priorities that need his attention.

It is better to be selective instead of jumping into the first chance of marriage you get....the outcome is usually not a good one.

[Lycorth]

It is better to be selective instead of jumping into the first chance of marriage you get....the outcome is usually not a good one.

 

That is the truth. After I left my ex-fiancee, things were tough emotionally. Some people I worked with nagged me to "get out" and "go find a girl" and so on and so forth. It's like they just couldn't deal with the fact that someone didn't feel like they did at the moment about relationships and so forth. One nitwit even tried to hook up with me, calling me half-drunk and babbling like an idiot, wanting a "chance". Now, if I had just jumped into a relationship just to soothe my broken heart, I could've ended up back in the same place again, emotionally scarred and possibly worse; I shudder to think the extremes I might have gone to to alleviate the pain had I jumped back into another relationship so soon. And especially with a babbling drunk!

 

My patience and my stubborn desire to listen to myself and choose my own path paid off. Many months later, an old friend and I began to draw closer. Things of course happened as you can imagine, and now I'm engaged to a wonderful young lady after my own heart. After being thoughtful, choosing to address my issues instead of hide them or ignore them, and doing things as I knew best, I ended up not just getting over the past, but finding what could very well be my future. And since she's now wearing my ring, it seems like my future is right there, with her

 

If a person needs help, that's one thing. If a person is capable of making their own decisions, they should be left alone to do so. We are our own best guides, in the end.

[pandora]

No, but I was told that I had a miscarriage because I turned my back on Jesus by my mother in law.

 

I think she was justifying it more for herself than anything... she wanted to blame someone on the fact that she won't have grandchildren. I don't get that mentality at all... I never thought that way when I was Christian. Wait, I take that back... yes I did. I thought my dad died so that I could become a stronger person and that god made me overweight so that I wouldn't have to deal with sexual temptation since I had no boyfriends.

[LadyFeline]

There's one particularly annoying nitwit around here whom, whenever he sees me, always always ALWAYS has to try to convince me that I'd be a good mother. "Oh, you'd make such a great mom! Kids love you so much, you'd be a great mom!"

 

No matter how many times I tell him, subtly or not-so-subtly, that this furball has no intentions of bearing any litters - now or ever - he just doesn't get the message.

 

But, hey, he's an idjitmaleFundieFucknut, so I'm not at all surprised.

 

You know what really insults me, though? Far above and beyond being heckled to bear children? The fact that everyone in my family assumes that I'm just going to jump into bed and start fucking the moment my boyfriend asks for some. Like I have NO self-control whatsoever and no mind of my own. EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME?!?! I am NOT my fucking STEPSISTER.

 

But that's a rant for an entirely different thread, yes...

[Artur]

*

[DucorpsToo]

An interesting topic indeed! This almost opens up a whole new topic of discussion, LOL!

 

See, my husband of 17 years and I both belong to the category of childfree. That is, we made the conscious decision not to bear (or adopt) children. Personally neither me nor my husband , are particularly enamored with kids, nor does the job description of parent appeal to us in any way, shape, or form. Our parrots are enough!

 

Luckily in my neck of the woods, I have been fortunate enough not to have had much in the way of stupid religious comments as to why I do not have them and why I should be having them. If one of those seldom occasions ever arises where I am asked, I am usually quite direct and do not mince my words...which usually shuts them up. It's usually my husband who has to put up with a lot of that kind of shit. As I have mentioned elsewhere, he is a practising muslim from Iraq and not only is that religion quite family oriented, but there is a rather large Iraqi community in the eastern part of our hometown (San Diego). My hubby is really a very good "bullshit artist" when need be, but on this particular issue he will put the busybodies in their places. He'll just come right out and tell them that he doesn't want any, or that he doesn't like kids, or essentially that it's none of their goddam business.

 

I seethe when I hear of parents pestering and berating their adult children if they have no kids (hence making them grandparents). If they're so hell-bent on having grandkids, they should perhaps consider mentoring a needy child (somewhat like the big-brother, big-sister program).

[Merlinfmct87]

I hear ya! They are soooooo easy to jump to conclusions. I have also heard the question... "Don't you like kids?" I mean, just because my husband I do not have a child, does not mean we do not like kids. Just because we don't have children does not mean we are being punished by the monster in the sky, it just means it has not happened, plain and simple.

Ditto about the pity party.... UGH that is annoying. I have had friends rub it in my face this kinda line.... "There are people that have children that don't want them and abuse them, then there are people like you that would be good parents and can not have them...."

UGH UGH UGH!!!!!!!!!!!

But like you said, don't try to fix something that ain't broke. Me and the husband are happy the way our lives are right now....with or without a child Again like you mentioned about your situation, same with me, it is not my focus.

 

I have to jump in here... it's been my experience that the truly 'selfish' thing is to bring a life into this world for the wrong reasons. A child can be a wonderful thing... but using that child to fill some other need or manipulate something else out of a person, or even appease a superstition is abhorrent.

 

The question here is really 'What is in the best interests of the child?'

 

Do you want to raise a child where he's not wanted, adored, and loved beyond life?

 

I wouldn't.

 

Wait until you're ready. Wait until you are sure... you'll piss off some controlling fuckheads, but you will thank yourself, your husband will thank yourself, and the trump card of all trump cards...

 

Your child will thank you.

 

Merlin

[Flyby Stardancer]

The fact that everyone in my family assumes that I'm just going to jump into bed and start fucking the moment my boyfriend asks for some. Like I have NO self-control whatsoever and no mind of my own. EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME?!?! I am NOT my fucking STEPSISTER.

 

...Now I wanna hear about your stepsister. Tell me next time we're both on AIM. ^_~

 

Anyways, on the original topic...

 

I have a friend who has commented a couple times on me needing to get out more and get a boyfriend, but it's never been a religion-oriented comment. And it really doesn't happen often. Lucky me. I think it's because I'm still very young. Heck, I'm a frickin' college girl! And an obvious one at that.

 

I'm perfectly fine with waiting until I find the right guy to get married, though I refuse to have more than one kid of my own (well, I'll make an exception for a multiples pregnancy). I'd rather adopt. Why put more people on this already-overcrowded planet when someone already has and doesn't want/can't support it?

 

And my parents don't need to bug me for a grandchild. Technically, they already have one. Though we've never actually met my nephew, since my brother is an idiot. (Also for another thread).

[woodsmoke]

Ironically enough, I've been so lucky as to have most of the folks I know consider my friends who are already married with children to be the odd ones. Granted, few enough of said folks actually live here in Utah..

[Guest Beyond_Belief]

Yes. In fact we humans are to blame for EVERYTHING. That's right, imperfect, flawed humans are to blame while the Christian biblegod is totally blameless. It reminds me of adults who abuse children while putting the blame on the child, making the child feel guilty for what the adult has done. This is biblegod to a tee - he is blameless apparently for making us sinful but we are to blame even though we couldn't change our `sinless' nature if we tried.

 

Biblegod is supposed to have the power, not humans, so he is to blame (if he existed) for all so-called human sin.

[The Sage Nabooru]

Trying not wanting or even really liking children. Both Christians and non-Christians react in the same way, generally, something like:

 

"OMG I can't believe how selfish you are! How could you not like a little child? How could you not want one? Are you a refridgerator or something? You're so cold! God, you must be one nasty bitch to not want children! How wrong and unnatural!"

[sonofspong]

People look at me weird when I tell them i don't want kids. Their general reaction is "oh but everyone says that, you'll want them one day"

 

sorry, i dont see that happening. i really, really don't like kids.

[woodsmoke]

Heh, I'm actually kind of surprised LadyFeline wasn't the first to express her dislike of children. Maybe I've just gotten used to the love-needing killer cyborg being the poster girl for the cause.

 

Honestly, I have tremendous respect and admiration for you folks who are true to yourselves and brave enough to recognize that. I've heard the story of a middle-aged father sitting on a barstool, pointing to the picture of each child in his wallet and ticking off his aspirations and dreams with each one. "That's my boat, that's my trip to Hawaii, that's my sports car, that's my cabin in the mountains..."

 

I personally think I would like to raise children of my own someday, but I don't intend to do so for a good while yet, and I wouldn't dream of telling someone else it's their civic or moral duty to do the same regardless of their own feelings on the matter.

 

Echoing Merlin's sentiments above, I can think of few less responsible and more potentially hurtful things a person can do than bring an unwanted child into the world. IMO, by recognizing beforehand that you have no desire for parenthood and sticking to that despite the pressures of peers, family and society you are doing the world a far greater service than all of those people who conform to the "standard" life and end up screwing over their own lives along with those of their spouse and children because of it.

[narcissist]

I am curious if anyone else has ever had a run in with a few christians that pointed out the reason you do not have children (or unable to conceive) is due to sin in your life and you are out of the will of god?

 

Hahahaha.

 

Most of the christians I know only have children BECAUSE they sinned.

In fact, I exist because of one such sin.

[Angel]

Hahahaha.

 

Most of the christians I know only have children BECAUSE they sinned.

In fact, I exist because of one such sin.

 

LOL That is the truth too.... there are many christians that have children because they did the whoopy before marriage.

I remember one time, in the first church I attended when I became "saved", there was this woman that got pregnant. Well, it was the pastor's nephew who was the father. She was in bad health, the pregnancy was really rough. They ended up sending her to a hospital out of town to deliver. She was really scared and wanted the pastor to be there for spiritual and emotional support. He REFUSED to go because it was a "sin baby". Thankfully, she and the baby were just fine. But for a pastor to be that low, that is just sick.

 

I know when I was getting married, this same pastor, along with some of the congregation, insisted that I was pregnant and that is why I wanted to be married. I ended up getting married at a different church because of all the BS. They even went as far as having a church meeting to ban any members going to my wedding!!!

I was in the store one time and one of the members came up and felt my stomach and asked if I was pregnant. I wanted to floor that woman!!!! (should have) I gave her a piece of my mind but it was still in their heads that was the reason I was getting married.

 

Then there are those that want children and can not conceive and there are big mouths that speak up and tell them if they would get rid of the sin in their life, maybe then they would be blessed.

All this bull shit...... makes me so glad I got out of there.

 

In all seriousness, like a lot of you have mentioned, never allow ANYONE to talk you into having a child when you are not wanting one, not sure if you want one or not ready to have one. That is totally YOUR call and no one elses. It is better to be childless than to have a child that you really did not want and have regrets for the rest of your life. If you can not conceive, don't let any stupid person tell you that it is your fault cause of some sin or whatever, because it is not! Tell them to take that statement and stick it up their ass!!!!

 

Ahhh, ok, I am done... *breathe in, breathe out* lol

[white_raven23]

He REFUSED to go because it was a "sin baby". Thankfully, she and the baby were just fine. But for a pastor to be that low, that is just sick.

 

Sin Baby. I like that.

 

I was in the store one time and one of the members came up and felt my stomach and asked if I was pregnant. I wanted to floor that woman!!!! (should have)

 

THAT would have earned a slap out of me. No one....and I mean NO ONE touches my body core area. Very few friends are allowed that close. And a virtual stranger is just asking to get their shit knocked out. And they would deserve it too.

[Anakin]

And here I thought it was alcohol that was responsible for pregnancy. I could have just

"sinned" and saved me from the hangovers.

Wait a minute. I was sinning! Alright, you win lord. If I can't have sex and alcohol

I'll become a monk. But lord I'll be a buddhist one just for spite.

[The Sage Nabooru]

People look at me weird when I tell them i don't want kids. Their general reaction is "oh but everyone says that, you'll want them one day"

 

Oh, I get that one all the time. "You're too young to know what you want yet". Alright, that's bullshit. Why do people have such a problem over this? Not just Christians, but people in general. I'm not insulting their kids, just stating I don't want any of my own. I have three dogs that are my "children" and that I love more than anything, but I don't get all pissy and upset and give myself false comfort when I meet non-dog-loving people by saying, "Oh, everyone says they don't want dogs, but they always get 'em eventually!" It's just the stupidest, most non-sensical reaction in the world.

[Seabiscuit]

You know losing a child like that has got to be hard. Who needs some xian giving you a lame reason why in the first place, Madame M!

 

I could never figure out why god didn't come through. In the bible, there were stories of people coming back from the dead. When I was six, I asked god to heal the nice lady that came to church who was dying of cancer. She died. I wondered why god could bring someone back in the bible but not in real life. I wondered if I didn't have enough faith. I was always short of faith back then.

 

I think people use xianity as an excuse to have opinions about other people's lives. I choose not to have children and omg that sounds horribid to my very xian brother and sister in law. In fact , I split live with my husband. Every other week, I live in the Bay area of california. AND GUESS WHAT? He gets his own meals and takes care of himself! My sister in law wanted to know why I put family low on my list--or something like that. Hey, I saved my relationship with my husband by getting my head out of that dark xian place and started to create a life I am actually happy in. God forbid, I'm happy!

 

My family has many opinions about my life and others all under the concern of living for the lord.

[I Broke Free]

Makes me wonder now if that is what all the more polite people think about me, but don't say out loud.

 

Two friends of mine care for a 35 year old severely autistic man. I have probably spent over 100 hours in their company. This “polite” person would think you are one hell of a mom and a woman!