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Goodbye Jesus

"god Is Like..."


AgnosticBob AtheistPants

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I'd like to know everyone's favorite Christian analogies to what "God is like." Generally speaking, I mean the analogies they like to use to compare God to something testable and real in this world in an attempt to show you why you should believe in him.

 

Mine is "God is like the air we breathe! You can't see it, you can't touch it, you can't hold it in your hand, but if it wasn't there, we couldn't live!"

 

Of course there is no thought as to the fact that the air is testable and can be proven to exist. God is not just "invisible", he isn't present in any form or fashion.

 

:Doh:

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God is like a taco salad. Wait. No he's not.

 

Can I start over?? :woopsie:

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LOL! When I first saw the title to this thread, I thought: "god is like...africanized bees." Then something hit me: that's an insult to the bees! :HaHa:

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The Xian god is like pouring nail polish remover on my testicles.

 

Neither one of them was a good idea at the time.

 

:shrug:

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"God is there to explain everything I don't know."

 

I kid you not. Genuine quote.

 

Merlin

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God is like Freddy Mercury from Queen

 

The Great Pretender!

Oh yes I’m the great pretender (ooh ooh)

Pretending I’m doing well (ooh ooh)

My need is such I pretend too much

I’m lonely but no one can tell

 

Oh yes I’m the great pretender (ooh ooh)

Adrift in a world of my own (ooh ooh)

I play the game but to my real shame

You’ve left me to dream all alone

 

Too real is this feeling of make believe

...

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Of course there is no thought as to the fact that the air is testable and can be proven to exist. God is not just "invisible", he isn't present in any form or fashion.

 

:Doh:

That's funny. Next time tell that God is really much more like the sound of one hand clapping. That'll give them something to ponder that'll stretch their thinking a little. :grin:

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My least favorite would be "God is Love!"

 

All I can think of is "well, try not getting any on me ok?"

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God is like a trip to the dentist. Your expectations are high, but it never ends well and costs you a fortune.

 

I always used to hear the "god is love" analogy too.

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For us - God is like a good fart. He's painful as hell when you keep him in, but OH what a relief when you let him go! :HaHa:

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For us - God is like a good fart. He's painful as hell when you keep him in, but OH what a relief when you let him go! :HaHa:

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

:notworthy:th_demon.gif

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The Xian god is like pouring nail polish remover on my testicles.

 

Dude...you didn't? What were you on?

 

As to the original question...I've heard of God being compared to an egg. Just as an egg consists of three parts, the shell, the white, and the yolk; God consists of three parts, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Reminds me of that anti-drug commercial where they fry an egg, saying "This is your brain on drugs". Fry up God-egg in a skillet and say "This is God? Where is your brain?".

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That's funny. Next time tell that God is really much more like the sound of one hand clapping. That'll give them something to ponder that'll stretch their thinking a little. :grin:

The only problem with that is they'll look at you with a, "Oh yes, you do get it!" look on their faces and say, "Exactly!!"

 

:Doh:

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For us - God is like a good fart. He's painful as hell when you keep him in, but OH what a relief when you let him go! :HaHa:

 

LOLOLOLOL :lmao:

That is a good one!!!

 

Other than the "God is love" another one that I heard a lot was "God is awesome"

Ex-COG, I have also heard of the egg thing, with the father, son and holy ghost.... it also brought to my husband's mind that old commercial. He mentioned that very thing the other day.. lol

Just where the christians want you.... your brains scrambled.

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God is like a ‘gift’ box of Cracker Jack

 

Your parents give it to you willingly

It’s a bit hard to open at first

It seems nice going down

But soon you are troubled

It’s stuck between your teeth and in your gums!

You end up with dentures

And a really shitty prize

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