Oh My....

[Dianka]

You know, I kind of feel sorry for people who bullshit as badly as this person does. I'm creeping around Trib Forces, and stumbled upon this testimony.

 

Enjoy...

 

TribForces

 

Biker Bar

 

I have a dear friend named Tim Tacguchi. Physically, He is a Cute, little bitty, Asian guy that I tower over. That boy has the meekest of spirits! He also has the gift of divine healing, stronger and more pure then I have ever known in a person. He has been used by Jesus to relieve a simple headache from my brow. But also the MIGHTIEST of wheelchair loosing , withered limb restoring, new eyes popping out glass ones, healings our denomination has ever seen!

 

When we were in college, we used to drive down to his place and eat real home cooking ministered to us by the hand of his Mom. He was attending a small Pentecostal church in a small south Texas town south west of Houston... His pastor is a fantastic man of God. Deeply in love with God! A Wonderfully inspired preacher! He did everything for that Church he could do. But when I met him, his church of around 150 souls was going thru a horrible time of stagnation… It was the oddest thing to sit in on the services… He would preach some of the most fantastic messages I had heard but it was always to a crowd of some of the most “wooden” Pentecostal believers I had ever seen. The fact that it was “Spring break”, and I was hanging out with Tim’s family for that week, and being that I was not under his pasturing authority, We visited him at his office and “humbly” asked him what was going wrong. I showed him the deepest of respect as we talked because, after all, he is a pastor and has a sacred calling that demands respect. I have left out the pastor’s name out of respect for this dilemma is not an easy thing.

 

His congregation was stuck. They weren’t rebellious; the church enjoyed almost perfect attendance at the weekly Thursday night prayer meetings. They desperately wanted revival, they prayed for it with tears. Basically he had taken so much responsibility in his church that his people were so comfortable and content, that they had actually forgotten how to witness. Tim told his pastor some of the wild things we had been seeking God do thru our aggressive university witnessing campaign. I suggested that, after he called my pastor, James Kilgore Sr., to get permission to barrow me, I would be honored to teach his people how to witness over the next month. He prayed about it, called my pastor, confessed his situation to him, and then called me at Tim’s house to ask us both for our help.

 

(Later, I found out that my pastor not only endorsed me but told Tim’s pastor to listen to everything I told him... My pastor also said to not tell me he said this because he would have an almost impossible time popping my big head! ha ha ha)

 

We showed up an hour early to the prayer meeting and it told Tim that God was telling me to sweep the foyer. I had no idea, what so ever, WHY this was. The janitorial closet had a pad lock on the door. I became angry in the Spirit. I went to my car, got my screw driver out and proceeded to unscrew the entire locking mechanism off the door. I dropped it in the middle the floor and we busted out the brooms and mops. We began to sweep around the lock. We were halfway done when the pastor walked in. He looked around and flushed red with confusion and embarrassment at seeing me “his guest” sweeping his foyer.

 

He took away my broom and started furiously sweeping in anger and asked just what was going on. I told him that “Jesus wants him to learn why his church is asleep.” He froze. I picked up the locking mechanism and handed it to him and took the broom back. And, as I swept, God said thru me this: “Pastor, you are a good man! The Lord finds your labors in this church a monument of your love his these people and to Him,

BUT, yes BUT

You have taken so much labor on your own shoulders that your flock has become guests in their OWN HOME. Do not lock your people away from serving God again! In fact you are to never clean this church again, EVER! It is time your people learned to serve their God. In fact, Jesus wants you to stand here now and watch your people as they serve their God.”

 

We then made him watch and fallow us into the bathroom as Tim and I sang song to Jesus while we busted out the toilets. The pastor was weeping in repentance by the time it was done. The entire congregation, as was their habit, showed up an hour later. He gave an awesome sermon about stewardship and service at that “prayer meeting”. He threw the lock on the floor from the pulpit and wept as he confessed how he was holding them back from serving Jesus. Tim whipped up a maintenance sign up list and the response was incredible. The congregation put the lock back on the door and handed out the keys to it, to everyone but the pastor. Half the pastor’s key ring was confiscated as well. He was never allowed by his congregation to touch a broom again. That was the first change.

 

The church paid for my gas to drive 2 hours one way. For the next four Sundays and Wednesdays. There was a short but excellent sermon. The pastor would join the congregation and the witnessing classes began. Tim and I removed the pulpit and set out two chairs… and we sat down and started to eat our fast food breakfast. As we sat there and talked forever about our breakfast and what we ordered, the pastor, and his whole congregation sat there utterly perplexed and shocked… Tim finally dug in, and started to wolf down his egg and cheese biscuit, I gave Jesus thanks for mine. With his mouth full he said to me, “Hey man, why do you do that ? Don’t you know you are just wasting your time?” I said “really! Why do you say that?”….and we were off to the witnessing races…! We covered multiple social backgrounds, Multiple type of sin addiction. We had the crowd start to get involved with points and suggestions. It was awesome This went on for the four weeks, and yet, not a single new person came into the churches door. I was confused and perplexed…

 

The last time I visited the church was at there prayer meeting on the final week. I asked the pastor if he had received any feed back. After sitting thru the Long list of compliments the pastor said that he had over heard one of the members say, “this is all fine and good but prayer is better then witnessing.” I sat there for a while and listened to all of them praying with tears for revival! The anger of the Lord profoundly fell over me!

 

I got up and said shouted out loud as a I walked out the front door “You will never have revival until you get off your backsides and seize it.” There eyes rolled and they kept praying. I walked out of the church into the evening air and said “Why did you just have me do that Lord? What now! Here I am, lead me!”

 

Frustrated, I started to walk down the main street of the small town. That’s when I heard the glorious tones of Leonard Skinard calling out to me from a nasty looking bar with 20 or so Harley Motor Bikes out front.

 

The Holy Ghost Blew me away and I staggered in my suit and tie into the bar!

Tim had fallowed me out of the church and had seen me just as I disappeared into the bar.

It turns out this bar was very infamous for its violent crime problems. Tim ran after me.

 

The lord God was so all over me I felt myself shaking. I remember buying a soda for the price of a beer and walking up to the biggest nastiest dude there. Sitting down, I told him boldly to his face that “God was going to have a show down with him here and now.” “Buddy” whipped out a big knife with his huge tattooed arm and stuck it in the table in front of my face, and said “run home to your momma boy, soda boy, before I skin you alive with this thing.” The laughter was defining! Tim walked in and turned white in horror.

 

God lead me to tell Buddy that “Jesus wants me to pray with you and that if you feel nothing, you are throw me out of this bar and to kick my Butt. Because if nothing happens, I am a liar and I deserve it…. I will press no charges.” He shouted, “Really, what if I just decided I wanted to cut you now.” I felt electricity leave my mouth as I leaned into his face and shouted back “You can’t… God won’t let you… Not until after I pray for you, Go ahead, try.” He reached out for the knife and could not take it out of the table. He pulled and pulled. The jute box stopped and the place fell silent… I stood up all the way, paused and reached out, paused again, so he knew what I was doing and the calmly put my hand on his temple and began to worship Jesus. “The Lord your God wants you to know he forgives you for what you did to you family in Florida. He wants to unite you, even this night! Jesus love you so much! You can feel Him, can’t you..” the power of God started to fall on him. He began to shake as I started to worship Jesus in tongues… Buddy began to weep and then he confessed with large gasps of sorrow, how he had been reading a Motel Bible, the other day and asked God to “Prove He was real”.

 

One of his “Biker friends” got out of his chair and limped up to me from behind to hit me with a bottle. Tim Taguchi, my small Japanese friend had been slowly walking forward and caught his arm, and said under the authority of the Holy Ghost “You will no longer be called “Gimp”…. Jesus’ will now take that limp. The man fell down with his legs kicking! Other’s who were in the room, later said they saw his leg actually stretch in front of their eyes! He was healed on the spot! And He also started to weep as well. That’s when God said out of my mouth “The presence of the Most High God is in this place, come and know me says the Lord”. The place exploded as me and Tim took turns preaching! People were repenting all over the place. It was awesome!

 

We told then that a church was just down the street and that God wanted them to come now. As we left the bar, I casually reached out and removed the knife and handed it to Buddy. He wept even harder. The man with the healed leg ran next door to vial apartment complex and shouted how he had a suite and wanted to ware it to the church! Tim fallowed him over and waited out side, while I lead the other up the street to the church.

 

As the healed man changed, Tim noticed a woman sitting at a concrete outdoor table crying over a cat fish dinner, her young daughter was trying to consoling her. Tim was perplexed because every True Texan knows it is impossible to cry over cat fish! It is way too good for that to ever happen. Moved with compassion He walked over, consoled her and talked her into coming to church as well.

 

12 souls fallowed me down to that church! I busted the front doors open and shouted “Behold, the glory of your prayers when they are linked to action! Man of God! Get up and start PREACHING!” Tim showed up shortly after. 15 souls heard the word of God. All of them repented, All of them spoke in tongues for the first time. The woman turned out to be Buddy’s wife from Florida! The church is now doing fine and holds more then 500 souls.. The bar tender still hates all Pentecostals. The 13 bike gang members formed a Christian biker club with hundreds of members and meet at “Sturgis” every year to reach the lost…

 

Jesus was the author of every piece of this chain of events that worked out to be my greatest moment, thus far, in my life, ministering the gospel of Jesus Christ.

 

Jesus and no one else deserves the Glory!

He is the Lord of this victory!

[Fweethawt]

As you can see, in order to validate their faith, most Christians have to make up extraordinary stories that generate the "Oooo's" and "Ahhhh's" from fellow believers.

 

I actually had a person sitting at my dining-room table, looking me straight in the eye and telling me the story about an eyeball that just "appeared" in an empty socket of a person whose glass eye popped out while he was jumping up and down praising the lord.

 

As you can see from the story above, that particular divine healing is normal within the fold.

 

 

Diane, I would like to take this time to give you a bit of a warning. Don't spend too much time over there at Tribbies Inc.™. After prolonged exposure to such absurdity, you'll actually be able to feel yourself getting dumber.

 

I can only stand to go there every once in a great while myself.

 

The 13 bike gang members formed a Christian biker club with hundreds of members and meet at “Sturgis” every year to reach the lost…

Let me guess...

 

They either call themselves The Holy Rollers, or Heaven's Angels, right?

 

[Dianka]

No need to worry Fwee, I only stop in there every once in a while. I guess I'm in a weird mood tonight. Christian Forums doesn't give me the chills the way Trib does, that place just creeps me out.

[Fweethawt]

No need to worry Fwee, I only stop in there every once in a while. I guess I'm in a weird mood tonight. Christian Forums doesn't give me the chills the way Trib does, that place just creeps me out.

And it should creep you out!

 

After all, they speak The Truth™ over there. It is because of your Fallen State™ that you are not able to tolerate Their Message™.

 

You just need Jesus. That's all.

 

 

[nirrti]

Don't spend too much time over there at Tribbies Inc.. After prolonged exposure to such absurdity, you'll actually be able to feel yourself getting dumber.

 

My computer would probably lose memory from too much time on that site.

[pitchu]

I come from a long line of Pentecostals.

 

I used to be a bartender.

 

So, to me...

 

The bar tender still hates all Pentecostals.

 

....is the only unassailable observation in that entire account.

[Lycorth]

It still gets me how everytime Xians go on about Gawd healing this person or that. Right, like all the millions of suffering folks out there just aren't worth it, or something. Or the Lard can't make any points with potential suckers - er, believers - so only some yahoo supposedly receives some sort of miraculous blessing whilst everyone else suffers on.

 

If that bozo of theirs really existed and wanted us to believe in him so very badly, he'd cause an event to happen the likes of which couldn't be questioned by anyone. But he does not, therefore he is not.

[Gnosis of Disbelief]

 

It's scary that anyone would believe this pile of

semi-literate hogwash.....was this guy asking for

donations, or has he learned that part of the act

yet?

[Nihil]

Dangit, dianka, I read at tribadismforces so the rest of you won't have too. Let my sacrifice be an act of honor.

[Curtdude]

My eyes actually started to glaze over reading this...this high drama in Assemblies of God is SO predictable. Yeah, lazy churchgoers enter stage right, fired up young preacherdude enter stage left, bring out the "I have a word from the lard" dialogue, then the brave and courageous "stand" at the bar, where we have the healings and tougues-talkin'.

 

I heard this crap just waaaaaaay too much in the church.

[Taphophilia]

I used to go to a charasmatic, fundy, independant church. Every month or so they would have this "Prophetess" named Joyce Still come and do her thing. Whenever she came, it was a packed house. She would call people out of the audience and "prophecy" over them. People would line up to give her money, jewelry, cars, deeds to property just so she would call them out and tell what the lawd said.

 

She would tell people they had cancer, high blood pressure, one leg shorter than the other, needed dental work etc. then heal them of their afflictions. Although, no one was healed from a disease they actually had. She would just pray over them and viola they were healed of something only god, in his wisdom, knew they had. Praise Jesus!

 

She would pray and a filling instantly filled a tooth in the shape of a cross. The pastor and his assistants would look in their mouth and say, "Yes, it's true." Did I actually see it, NO. I saw people look in the person's mouth and say, Yes, it's there. When people say they have seen miracles, healings, eyes growing, legs healed before their eyes, yes, I've seen it happen, but I didn't actually see it happen.

 

One time an MD was in the audience who didn't believe in it, his wife dragged him to the service. Joyce Still called him out and had him follow her around while she healed people and would ask him to confirm what she said. Each time he would disagree with her. Only one time toward the end of the two hour service, he said, "Yeah, maybe, it's possible". She'd called out a little girl and said she had leg cramps at night.

 

The entire congregation stood up a cheered as though it were a victory for god.

 

Taph