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Goodbye Jesus

The First Family On Earth


Mythra

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Christians - I'm stuck on this one.  Maybe you can explain it?

 

Adam and Eve.  First human beings to be created.  So far so good.

 

Then they have two children.  Cain and Abel.   Ok, we now have four human beings existing on planet earth.

 

Cain kills Abel because he was pissed that God liked Abel's sacrifice of animal fat more than Cain's sacrifice of some of the crops he grew.  

Ok.  Weird but, ok.  I didn't know the second human being on earth already knew how to grow crops. But at least I'm still following the story.

 

Now there are only three human beings on earth.  Adam, Eve, and Cain.

 

Now God is upset and Cain is sentenced to wander the earth.  But he's afraid that someone will kill him,  therefore God puts a mark on him so anyone who finds Cain won't kill him.  Wait.  What?  Who would kill him? There is no one else on earth.  

 

So then Cain goes out from Eden and makes love to his wife.  Hold on.  His wife?  Where did she come from?  

 

People just suddenly appear from nowhere in this story.

 

Is there a 6 year old who can't see the holes in this account?  Did the guy who made this story up not see a possible flaw in the plot?  

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You know, if you just started reading the bible for the first time, and knew nothing about the book, you might get to genesis chapter 4 and just close the book.  5 minutes worth of reading and you would already know the book is nonsense. 

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Obviously Cain married his sister.  Cain couldn't marry his own mother because that would be icky.  Then when Cain's sister/wife gave birth to Cain's son/nephew that was when Cain felt they needed more space.  So Cain built a whole city.  Cain named the city "Enoch" in honor of his nephew/son.  The world's first city had a population of three.

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Obviously, Adam and Eve were fruitful and multiplied real, real fast and Cain married one of his sisters but that was okay back then because people lived to be 700 or 800 years old and their genes were pure and there would be no genetic problems caused by inbreeding. You just have to read between the lines, you see.

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hahaha!  I can see this question has already come up in church and been explained by the pastor.    

 

makes perfect sense.   

 

Cain fucks his sister.  So Cain's son is also his nephew.  

 

But God is pissed off because Eve ate an apple.

 

hahahahha

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But Pastor, what about Cain's fear that someone might kill him if he wandered around?  Were the "someone" he was afraid of also his clan of brothers and sisters?

 

Adam and Eve must have been rabbits.  And the gestational period back then about two weeks.

 

now it makes perfect sense.

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hahaha!  I can see this question has already come up in church and been explained by the pastor.    

 

makes perfect sense.   

 

Cain fucks his sister.  So Cain's son is also his nephew.  

 

But God is pissed off because Eve ate an apple.

 

hahahahha

Things were quite confusing for that second generation, with the children not quite knowing what to call their parents. But things became much better with the third generation since it was only cousins having children with their cousins, with a few exceptions I am sure. But then the flood came along and fixed all of that because God could start over with two generations rather than just one and the marrying of the third generation could start out immediately with cousins (well, most of the time, anyway). But then the problem with inbreeding began with the animals, but somehow God took care of that, too.

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OF COURSE! 49.gif   That explains so much! hahahha

 

No wonder the human race is messed up.  It's founded upon rampant incest!  Traditional Family Values.

 

We're all just characters in the movie Deliverance.  blink.png

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So this was God's way of starting the human race.

 

And Christians main selling point these days  is "God has a plan for your life".   

 

Oh Shit!  Umm.....  thanks for the offer.  But I believe I'll try and figure it out on my own. happydance.gif

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Guest Furball

Christians - I'm stuck on this one.  Maybe you can explain it?

 

Adam and Eve.  First human beings to be created.  So far so good.

 

Then they have two children.  Cain and Abel.   Ok, we now have four human beings existing on planet earth.

 

Cain kills Abel because he was pissed that God liked Abel's sacrifice of animal fat more than Cain's sacrifice of some of the crops he grew.  

Ok.  Weird but, ok.  I didn't know the second human being on earth already knew how to grow crops. But at least I'm still following the story.

 

Now there are only three human beings on earth.  Adam, Eve, and Cain.

 

Now God is upset and Cain is sentenced to wander the earth.  But he's afraid that someone will kill him,  therefore God puts a mark on him so anyone who finds Cain won't kill him.  Wait.  What?  Who would kill him? There is no one else on earth.  

 

So then Cain goes out from Eden and makes love to his wife.  Hold on.  His wife?  Where did she come from?  

 

People just suddenly appear from nowhere in this story.

 

Is there an 6 year old who can't see the holes in this account?  Did the guy who made this story up not see a possible flaw in the plot?  

I never caught that. It's amazing how I read the bible countless times and never saw things like this. I went back and grazed over the first 5 chapters of genesis and you are right, where did all the other people come from?

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Yeah, it was things like this that always made me rather skeptical that this Bible-thingie was God's inerrant word. So many plot-holes! Never added up for me...

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What a nice family tree!

 

From Genesis chapter 5:

 

 

 

Name Kenan

 

Parents:  Enosh and Enosh's inbred cousin

 

Paternal Grandparents:  Seth and Seth's sister

 

Paternal Great-grandparents (p-grandfather's side):  Adam and Eve

 

Paternal Great-grandparents  (p-grandmother's side):  Adam and Eve

 

Maternal Grandparents:  Seth's brother and one of Seth's other sisters.

 

Maternal Great-grandparents  (m-grandfather's side):  Adam and Eve

 

Maternal Great-grandparents  (m-grandmother's side):  Adam and Eve

 

 

 

What a way to start the human race!

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Was the Garden of Eden in West Virginia?

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Wow, I actually didn't notice that in the Bible either. People did just come out of nowhere. It's crazy how when I was a believer, I read through Genesis and I was like "yes this is the holy word of god." But when you read the Bible like you would any book, without any religious bias, you notice things like this. you notice things that don't add up and don't make sense.

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But when you read the Bible like you would any book, without any religious bias, you notice things like this. you notice things that don't add up and don't make sense.

Exactly. When the bible is read from an objective point of view, and not a religious or devotional point of view, the whole thing just falls apart as embarrassing illogical nonsense. When, I was a christian, I read the bible and studied it for over 13 years and never once did I find a single contradiction or discrepancy anywhere. I was positive this was the real words of a real god. After I read a few of bart ehrman's books showing me some contradictions and discrepancies, I started reading the bible from an objective point of view and found countless contradictions and discrepancies from genesis to revelation. They were everywhere. The whole "the bible is the inerrant word of god" argument went right out the window, the whole thing just crumbled like a house of cards. The bible is a fake. It rips off earlier religious texts and stories. Game over man. 

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There is an apocrypha text called "The Life of Adam and Eve" that you might find interesting.  I have not read the text, but I if I recall correctly, it was supposedly written by Adam himself, and it goes into further detail on other events from the Garden of Eden, including that Adam and Eve had 30 sons and 30 daughters.  Here is a website with more background - http://www.earlyjewishwritings.com/lifeadameve.html

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how did I fall for this silliness for so long

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So far no christian has come here to try and explain where Cain's wife came from.  Maybe they don't want to start a seed of doubt truth about their holy infallible text.

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Ya know what is funny to me is setting aside the quandary (at least for the believer) of incest how nobody thought to mention genetics. It would have been a great argument for a omniscient gods existence.

"Glory to God for allowing us to breed kids that are not mentally handicapped."

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There is an apocrypha text called "The Life of Adam and Eve" that you might find interesting.  I have not read the text, but I if I recall correctly, it was supposedly written by Adam himself, and it goes into further detail on other events from the Garden of Eden, including that Adam and Eve had 30 sons and 30 daughters.  Here is a website with more background - http://www.earlyjewishwritings.com/lifeadameve.html

 now that is interesting. so if adam and eve had a bunch of kids, why was this not included in the biblical canon? it would have helped the story make sense, so people didn't just start appearing out of nowhere lol. what were they thinking when they made the biblical canon?>

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Ya know what is funny to me is setting aside the quandary (at least for the believer) of incest how nobody thought to mention genetics. It would have been a great argument for a omniscient gods existence.

"Glory to God for allowing us to breed kids that are not mentally handicapped."

 

So you if you don't believe that all human originated from one mitochondrial Eve then how do you respond to Richard Dawkins African Eve?

 

He says there really never was a first person, then he says there are three.  So pick a card - any card yellow.gif

 

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I predict the next one to post with be my mistake

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So you if you don't believe that all human originated from one mitochondrial Eve then how do you respond to Richard Dawkins African Eve?

 

He says there really never was a first person, then he says there are three. 

 

 

 

Wow, you really didn't understand it at all.  I'm not sure that I could explain it to you in a way you would understand.  When he says there was no first person he means that "person" is something that hominids slowly became over the corse of many generations.  There were thousands of a certain hominid animal.  And then 100 years later that hominid animal was a bit different.  And in another 100 years they were just a bit different.  As those differences added up slowly these hominids became what we would recognize as people.

 

He didn't contradict himself.  Mit-Eve, Mit-Adam Y-chrom Adam, and our MRCA would all have been born long after people had come into existence.

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So you if you don't believe that all human originated from one mitochondrial Eve then how do you respond to Richard Dawkins African Eve?

 

He says there really never was a first person, then he says there are three.

 

 

Wow, you really didn't understand it at all.  I'm not sure that I could explain it to you in a way you would understand.  When he says there was no first person he means that "person" is something that hominids slowly became over the corse of many generations.  There were thousands of a certain hominid animal.  And then 100 years later that hominid animal was a bit different.  And in another 100 years they were just a bit different.  As those differences added up slowly these hominids became what we would recognize as people.

 

He didn't contradict himself.  Mit-Eve, Mit-Adam and our MRCA would all have been born long after people had come into existence.

 

yea whatever
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