Wittyusername Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 Every day I get new realisations that are very liberating. I can do things which church never allowed. - I can now watch comedy shows/ on TV because it is not 'Foolish Jesting which is not convenient(Ephesians 5). - I can speak up and even contradict men. - I don't have to be meek and let people walk all over me. These are a few liberating realisations from the last few weeks. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 You don't have to love every damn person on the planet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burny Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 Lately I've been reading some of the CRAZY shit that many xtians believe regarding women. I grew up a male chauvinist myself, but this is another level of ridiculous and even some women seem to be promoting it (i.e. http://biblicalgenderroles.com/- read the comments!!). I often speak to my wife and daughter about the freedom they have gained. I can't even imagine how good it must feel to realize that the whole "men have authority over women" is complete BULL SHIT and that every single woman on this planet has the RIGHT to live her own life however she wants to. I'm embarrassed for the way I used to think / treat women and will spend the rest of my life trying to undo and fight the misogynistic attitudes that are the backbone of our society to this day. Enjoy your FREEDOM. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam5 Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 I find myself being more respectful towards gays, atheists, agnostics, and non believers, those unmarried/ cohabiting, and other lifestyles which the church views as sinful. There is literally billions of people who you no longer look down upon for not being "saved". You don't have to damn every person on the planet, as there is no hell to damn them to. Instead you view the world in reality without "God" glasses. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 "I can speak up and even contradict men." The only person I'm doing that with so far is my husband and he's not received it all that well! As progressive as he's always been, even as a Christian, I think he just got used to me always deferring to him and backing down first in disagreements. I'm not going to do that anymore, and it's been both liberating and frightening. I feel a little like a superhero who has just discovered her powers but doesn't know the full extent of them yet. I'm glad you mentioned this because I think I'm still deferring to other men without realizing it. - I watch whatever the hell I want to watch - I cuss as the need arises and loosening my tongue feels great! - I don't give a crap what other people think of me - My money is MINE! No more "giving" to things I don't agree with - I no longer feel the need to try to be the perfect wife or mother. I am what I am and my loved ones will cope. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wittyusername Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 Daff - my church/denomination did put a lot of emphasis on not speaking out of turn. Foolish talk, meekness, submissiveness etc. In hindsight it is easier to control sheep if they shut up. You are right - it does feel like a superpower but I am not yet sure how to use it. I am even thinking of changing job as everyone is used to me being a mouse here. It is easier to make a fresh start than to challenge people's perception of you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 "I can speak up and even contradict men." The only person I'm doing that with so far is my husband and he's not received it all that well! As progressive as he's always been, even as a Christian, I think he just got used to me always deferring to him and backing down first in disagreements. I'm not going to do that anymore, and it's been both liberating and frightening. I feel a little like a superhero who has just discovered her powers but doesn't know the full extent of them yet. I'm glad you mentioned this because I think I'm still deferring to other men without realizing it. - I watch whatever the hell I want to watch - I cuss as the need arises and loosening my tongue feels great! - I don't give a crap what other people think of me - My money is MINE! No more "giving" to things I don't agree with - I no longer feel the need to try to be the perfect wife or mother. I am what I am and my loved ones will cope. Good for you. keep it up 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 "I can speak up and even contradict men." The only person I'm doing that with so far is my husband and he's not received it all that well! As progressive as he's always been, even as a Christian, I think he just got used to me always deferring to him and backing down first in disagreements. I'm not going to do that anymore, and it's been both liberating and frightening. I feel a little like a superhero who has just discovered her powers but doesn't know the full extent of them yet. I'm glad you mentioned this because I think I'm still deferring to other men without realizing it. - I watch whatever the hell I want to watch - I cuss as the need arises and loosening my tongue feels great! - I don't give a crap what other people think of me - My money is MINE! No more "giving" to things I don't agree with - I no longer feel the need to try to be the perfect wife or mother. I am what I am and my loved ones will cope. Good for you. keep it up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I can go to the grocery store on Sunday morning when it's just a handful of shoppers and several employees stocking shelves. Oh, the luxury! Sometimes it's the little things. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator buffettphan Posted October 28, 2015 Super Moderator Share Posted October 28, 2015 I can go to the grocery store on Sunday morning when it's just a handful of shoppers and several employees stocking shelves. Oh, the luxury! Sometimes it's the little things. Ha! I do the same thing. It sure beats going on Saturday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dichotomy Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I am finally able to enjoy halloween. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geezer Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I think the Golden Rule is still a pretty good standard to live by, and that doesn't require religion. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I can have sex without thinking that Jesus and/or various dead relatives are watching. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I can have sex without thinking that Jesus and/or various dead relatives are watching. Oh, I can't agree more. Sex is better without Jesus watching! I can meet someone and not immediately place them into one of two categories...... SAVED OR UNSAVED? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlowerDemon Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 it does feel nice to be able to do those things, plus many more. i no longer feel guilty for drinking or saying bad words sometimes, or having world views that don't match the bible's. it's a new kind of freedom you taste as soon as you go through the bitter pain of deconversion; the freedom to live your own life they way you see fit. No longer do you believe that God is in control of your life...you are. It gives you a wave of empowerment you probably did not feel as a Christian. the bible says the truth will set you free. actually, it's correct. it's just not the truth theyre talking about. the truth comes from within, you find your own way and your own purpose. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dichotomy Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I've said it before but being allowed to swear was great for me. Also drinking and having fun with non Christians and not having to care about anyone else's beliefs or eternal destiny. I can care for people because they just matter to me. I can be friends without an ulterior motive or having to be "accountable" for my every action. Ah freedom. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offtheromanroad Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Great thread! - I am free to be me and to do things just becaue I enjoy them. No need to always be meaningful or to always search for a deeper meaning. - No need to feel guilty all the time. - No need to ask for forgiveness all the time to overcome said feeligns of guilt. - No need to love everybody (respect is enough). - No need to convert others. - No need to figure out "God's plan for my life". - No need to pray about everything and anything. - I can enjoy life just because it is and I am. Ah, the bliss. - I forgot: I don't need to read and stay in THE WORD anymore. No need for prayer circles. And the list goes on. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yunea Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 - No need to wait for a "sign" before making decisions - No anxiety from trying to discern whether it was a good or bad supernatural entity talking with the mouth of someone - No assigning far-fetched meanings to dreams, or little things like feathers on the ground - Looking feminine, including showing a little bit of skin AND enjoying it, isn't comparable to a crime anymore! - No desire at all to be someone who sees and hears things others don't - Modern medicine is actually pretty awesome, including psychiatry, as long as you meet doctors who take enough interest in you - No feeling sorry for atheists anymore - Less tempted to do certain "sins" that actually are harmful (funny how that works) - No needlessly attributing my success to anything but my own hard work. Yes, very liberating! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Don't have to switch on the pity/soul-saving-instinct when I meet non-Christian friends (less of a divide between "me" and "them"). Don't have to feel uncomfortable and out-of-place when I'm in a group and someone swears or makes a comment about sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offtheromanroad Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Hard work and success, rings a bell, yunea, thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wittyusername Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 Halloween came and went without having to do some anti Halloween 'rainbow party' or some such for church kids. It is not such a big thing in England but even when I was a kid church organised some sort of anti- Halloween thing. I played with the Google doodle game even though it was a witch and did not have to pray for Google and the demonic forces they were spreading with such a game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Over already for you? I'm not halfway through my ghost movie list. Don't have to work hard to be reverent all the time. I heard my uncle reprimand my cousin for referring to a certain male missionary as a "guy," because it was supposedly disrespectful. That family of mine. *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Questions Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Don't have to beat myself up and beg forgiveness for every unkind thought that runs through my head, don't have to spend hours in prayer for others thus freeing up time to actually DO something for them, don't have to give 10 percent of my income to the church, don't have to feel guilty for normal human desires, can sleep in on Sundays, don't have to drag my son to church when he really doesn't want to go, can decide what to do with my life based on pros and cons rather than whether I feel that god is leading me a certain way, can give to charities based on what they actually do with the money rather than on how moving and guilt-inducing their missionary's speech was, can watch shows and read books because I enjoy them rather than because I "should," don't have to work up the courage to force myself to try to witness to acquaintances so they won't be damned forever and it be on my head (torture for an introvert!), and no longer have to spend hours and hours on Beth Moore bible study homework. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 ...and no longer have to spend hours and hours on Beth Moore bible study homework. That made me laugh out loud! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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