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JenniferG

Newbie Needs New Friends

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Hi everyone,

 

I'm still finding my way around the site. Just discovered how to post a new topic! Yay!

 

I invite you to read part one of my three-part feature testimonial, Breaking Free: A Long Time Coming.

 

Also feel free to check out my profile. If you think you have stuff in common with me, do add me to your friend circle.

 

While I'm an encourager, I need all the encouragement and support I can get as well. I'm sure there are others like me who are apprehensive of being attacked and rejected as they declare their leaving their faith to friends and family. Someone told me today, when you reject religion, Christian friends who are so attached to their religion and find their identity in their faith, would feel that you're attacking and rejecting them personally. It's certainly not emotionally easy to simply walk away.

 

My public "coming out" will be in a couple of months when I begin to blog and post on FB and Twitter my impending book about abandoning faith.

 

Hope to make new friends here soon. Do friend me or PM me.

 

Jenniferg 10.gif

 

 

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Welcome to Ex-C! I'm sure you'll find a home here.

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Hi everyone,

 

I'm still finding my way around the site. Just discovered how to post a new topic! Yay!

 

I invite you to read part one of my three-part feature testimonial, Breaking Free: A Long Time Coming.

 

Also feel free to check out my profile. If you think you have stuff in common with me, do add me to your friend circle.

 

While I'm an encourager, I need all the encouragement and support I can get as well. I'm sure there are others like me who are apprehensive of being attacked and rejected as they declare their leaving their faith to friends and family. Someone told me today, when you reject religion, Christian friends who are so attached to their religion and find their identity in their faith, would feel that you're attacking and rejecting them personally. It's certainly not emotionally easy to simply walk away.

 

My public "coming out" will be in a couple of months when I begin to blog and post on FB and Twitter my impending book about abandoning faith.

 

Hope to make new friends here soon. Do friend me or PM me.

 

Jenniferg 10.gif

 

Hi Jennifer and fellow Canadian!! And welcome to Ex-c! I'm so glad that you found us. I'd like to read your three part testimonial but I can't seem to see it anywhere? Have you put a link to it? Congratulations for writing a book about your experience! Wow! That is so exciting!

 

Sometimes it takes a while to find all the right buttons and stuff when you join a form. It sure took me a little while. Even as a moderator on the board, I still have trouble finding my way around so don't hesitate to ask!! Lol

 

All of us on this board came for for the exact same reasons as you my friend. I'm an older doll too! Lol Took me years to figure out the bible was bullshit. Once I joined Ex-c, the gang here started to answer every question I had and I read hundreds of posts while putting my new world view together. For me personally, once I studied the book of Genesis, the whole bible fell apart. I had always questioned the 'stupid' god who did all the creating? Then, when I recognized that Genesis was just a story, I knew I was not born in sin and did not need a savior. I don't even care about all the other stuff in the bible anymore. Once I accepted that there wasn't any garden, and man made from the dust of the ground and woman made from a man's rib, eating off the 'so called' tree, who was tempted by a talking snake, I didn't have to go much further. It all looked so stupid to me. I can't believe I once believed it to be true.

 

But it took me awhile to accept that fact that the god I was born to believe in did not exist. That was the hard part for me. Jesus was my invisible best friend for many years and to lose him was the single greatest loss I have ever had in my life. 

 

You sound like you are pretty well on your way to accepting all of this. It's just so nice to find a home place where you can hang  out with like minded people.

 

Again, so glad you are here with us!! looking forward to hearing more from you!!

 

((hug))

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Hi JenniferG.  Welcome to ex-c! Nice to have you here!  I liked your poem.3.gif  If your book is equally well written, I bet it will be good.smile.png   Hey, do you need an editor?

 

 

 

My public "coming out" will be in a couple of months when I begin to blog and post on FB and Twitter my impending upcoming book about abandoning faith.

 

Hope to make new friends here soon. Do friend me or PM me.

 

Jenniferg 10.gif

Unless of course, your book is going to be threatening, menacing, or ominous! tongue.png

 

If you're going to lower the boom on the flock, I want to read it for sure......woohoo.gif

 

Don't mind me, I'm just a bald guy who dances around in his underwear.  happy.png

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Welcome, JenniferG!

 

Yes, losing friends is one of the giant stabs to the heart of the deconversion process. I lost some of the outlying acquaintances instantly, and thought I might come out alright. But no. About 6 months later, I was down to maybe 3 or 4 friends from my old church. Now I'm down to maybe 1 (sort of).

 

Part of it is logistics too. My old church friends are still busy several days a week, meeting at the church for services, choir practice, ladies' groups, etc. They have built-in friendships and a convenient half-way point meeting place, and no longer need me. Getting together with me is out of the way, hard to squeeze in their schedule, and simply not as convenient as it used to be. (And boy, have I tried, but no.) And frankly, I'm not in their gossip circle and not going to all their events and planning for the same things they are planning for -- there isn't much to talk about any more. It has been a sad realization.

 

Just remember this: It is them, not you. It is not you. It is not you. Got it?  biggrin.png

 

I'm sure you're quite interesting and lovable. Am I right? (I think I am!) You are deserving of love and joy and friendship and peace. You just have to find it in new places. Ugh. You'll get there.

 

Wow, if you are working on a book, you are already way ahead of where most of us were when we landed here! You are wrapping your head around it, and that's a huge step.

 

I look forward to reading more from you. Feel free to jump in whenever you feel the urge. We appreciate perspectives.

 

We're not the same as real-life friends, but hopefully we'll fill in some gaps for you. Welcome!

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Hi Jennifer, I would love to read your story. I have been struggling for years to understand if my beliefs make sense or not. If I am deluded or not.. I saw your post to someone else that religion affected your mental health and yes I am going through those same issues. I'm glad you are here:)

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Thank you everyone for your support! I tried to cut and paste the URL of my feature testimonial on here. If you go to the main page, it's in that feature box. "Breaking Free: A Long Time Coming". Image of a sad woman sitting on a bed!

 

Like Margee, I sought God and Jesus with all my heart. I took Jesus' word to "Seek and you will find" to heart and guess what? I found ME! Child of the universe, not less than the trees and the starts I have the right to be here! (Borrowing from the poem "Desiderata") I found out I am not evil and shitty and deserving of hell. It's all been one long bad dream! Just like Truman in the movie, The Truman Show. I touched the sky and it was fake!

 

I'm glad I found this site and I look forward to forming new friendships here. Thanks again, for your support

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Welcome, JenniferG!

 

Yes, losing friends is one of the giant stabs to the heart of the deconversion process. I lost some of the outlying acquaintances instantly, and thought I might come out alright. But no. About 6 months later, I was down to maybe 3 or 4 friends from my old church. Now I'm down to maybe 1 (sort of).

 

Part of it is logistics too. My old church friends are still busy several days a week, meeting at the church for services, choir practice, ladies' groups, etc. They have built-in friendships and a convenient half-way point meeting place, and no longer need me. Getting together with me is out of the way, hard to squeeze in their schedule, and simply not as convenient as it used to be. (And boy, have I tried, but no.) And frankly, I'm not in their gossip circle and not going to all their events and planning for the same things they are planning for -- there isn't much to talk about any more. It has been a sad realization.

 

Just remember this: It is them, not you. It is not you. It is not you. Got it?  biggrin.png

 

I'm sure you're quite interesting and lovable. Am I right? (I think I am!) You are deserving of love and joy and friendship and peace. You just have to find it in new places. Ugh. You'll get there.

 

Wow, if you are working on a book, you are already way ahead of where most of us were when we landed here! You are wrapping your head around it, and that's a huge step.

 

I look forward to reading more from you. Feel free to jump in whenever you feel the urge. We appreciate perspectives.

 

We're not the same as real-life friends, but hopefully we'll fill in some gaps for you. Welcome!

Thank you RW. It does feel lonely, does it not, after having been conditioned for us a long time and having had a built-in support system (in the family of God) wherever you go. We have moved a lot, and that was the one positive thing for us being connected to the church community. I've joined many non-Christian groups and it is nice not to be on "good behaviour" all the time. And to be able to let one's hair down because you're accepted and not judged by how spiritual or not you are! I am trying to shed bad habits of being so judgemental! Man are Christians judgemental!

 

In my first book An Immoral Proposal (check my page on Amazon.com) http://amzn.to/1fJij51I talk about my growing up in the Pentacostal church and under South Africa's apartheid system. Readers have asked for the sequel but the sequel will be very different. I think many will be shocked to find it's about my deconversion! Thanks for your friendship and making me feel welcome.

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Hi Jennifer, I would love to read your story. I have been struggling for years to understand if my beliefs make sense or not. If I am deluded or not.. I saw your post to someone else that religion affected your mental health and yes I am going through those same issues. I'm glad you are here:)

Thank you for making me feel welcome, Born1ce. Yes, I had to break loose or Christianity was going to kill me! I'm so happy I found MYSELF! and set ME free to be who I'm meant to be, and not the piece of shit that the bible kept telling me I was! I am my own unique, creative self! I'm learning to love myself - the greatest love of all ( as Whitney Houston used to sing) is happening to me. I'm doing a lot of meditating in the method of Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction clinic at the U. of Massachusetts Hospital. I love that his work has sound scientific grounding and results. Check out his videos on You Tube. Hugs.

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Hi JenniferG.  Welcome to ex-c! Nice to have you here!  I liked your poem.3.gif  If your book is equally well written, I bet it will be good.smile.png   Hey, do you need an editor?

 

 

 

My public "coming out" will be in a couple of months when I begin to blog and post on FB and Twitter my impending upcoming book about abandoning faith.

 

Hope to make new friends here soon. Do friend me or PM me.

 

Jenniferg 10.gif

Unless of course, your book is going to be threatening, menacing, or ominous! tongue.png

 

If you're going to lower the boom on the flock, I want to read it for sure......woohoo.gif

 

Don't mind me, I'm just a bald guy who dances around in his underwear.  happy.png

I like dancing! But not in my underwear happydance.gif  Are you a professional editor? I am a writer and do other people's editing. I think there's a link to my website on my profile page. Thanks for the welcome, Mythra

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Hi Jennifer, so that is YOUR story??!! I read it a few days ago and I felt  sad for that 16 yr old girl-- I am so sorry you suffered that abuse. The part about "your grandparents wouldn't have bought that Bible for you" just really left an impression on me. That must have been so terrible for you. It's so admirable that you have overcome these experiences.   I am definitely looking forward to reading the rest.yellow.gif

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Hi JenniferG, welcome to ex-c! :)

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...I found out I am not evil and shitty and deserving of hell. It's all been one long bad dream! ...

 

You are good and beautiful and interesting and deserving of love. Always remember that!

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I like dancing! But not in my underwear happydance.gif  Are you a professional editor?

 

Nah.  I'm not a professional anything.  Just another schmuck who knows a little bit about a lot of things.

 

An average Joe.  A Joe of all trades, so to speak. blush.png

 

I like to read.  I'm going to read your book about growing up in South Africa.  I'll give you a scathing review when I'm done. KatieHmm.gif

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Welcome. I'm older too. It's never too late to learn the truth.

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...I found out I am not evil and shitty and deserving of hell. It's all been one long bad dream! Just like Truman in the movie, The Truman Show. I touched the sky and it was fake!

 

Hello, fellow Canadian!

 

I'd love to hear more of your story. I too was a True ChristianTM and despite my best efforts, the wheels came off and here I am. What an amazing discovery to realize I am OK as I am! I look forward to hearing more from you!

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Hi Positivist!

Thanks for getting in touch!

Whereabout in Canada are you at?

Feel free to send me a PM

Happy Holidays,

Jennifer

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