Questions About Anonymity

[Daffodil]

Got to thinking about remaining anonymous on here and had some questions for you all. I feel like I've shared enough details on here that someone could have figured out where I live in Kansas. Does anyone think they know? Does it really matter? Are there really Christians lurking here for the sole purpose of trying to figure out who we are? I don't think any of the Christians I know are even aware that a site like this exists. I don't really care so much if people know who I am because I don't have a job that could be jeopardized, but I am a little concerned for my husband's job aspirations. It could potentially affect whether or not he gets further up in the chain of command, just because the next step up requires making a lot of community contacts and knowing the "right" people. People in our church are slowly becoming aware that we don't attend anymore (even though it's been one year since we last set foot in there!), so it will come out one way or another, I suppose.

 

Just wondering what others think about this.

[mymistake]

Stay anonymous.  There is nothing to be gained by putting your personal info in public view.  I doubt you have outed yourself yet but don't cross that line.

[Deidre]

Are you concerned that someone you know offline/in your life, will find out that you are no longer a Christian? I wouldn't worry, and if someone did find out, if they oust you ...then they weren't really worth having in your life, if whether or not you are religious matters that much to them. That said though, not sure what you've shared, but I wouldn't worry. ((hug))

[midniterider]

Got to thinking about remaining anonymous on here and had some questions for you all. I feel like I've shared enough details on here that someone could have figured out where I live in Kansas. Does anyone think they know? Does it really matter? Are there really Christians lurking here for the sole purpose of trying to figure out who we are? I don't think any of the Christians I know are even aware that a site like this exists. I don't really care so much if people know who I am because I don't have a job that could be jeopardized, but I am a little concerned for my husband's job aspirations. It could potentially affect whether or not he gets further up in the chain of command, just because the next step up requires making a lot of community contacts and knowing the "right" people. People in our church are slowly becoming aware that we don't attend anymore (even though it's been one year since we last set foot in there!), so it will come out one way or another, I suppose.

 

Just wondering what others think about this.

 

 

People are usually too self-absorbed to care about tracking you down. Dont give your name or any other identifying information to anyone.

[Geezer]

Probably a good rule of thumb to follow is not to post anything anywhere that could put you or your family in jeopardy. If you don't want your named linked to a post then it probably is a good idea not to post it.

 

I don't post anything I wouldn't want my family or friends to read. That noted, I understand the sensitive nature that religion & family presents here, so don't reveal any personal information that could ldentify you. Revealing your gender, location, or other personal information isn't necessary.

 

You don't need to come out until you're ready & when or if you do come out it should be on your terms & timetable.

[Daffodil]

Thanks for the responses. I've just noticed some people use their first names and/or use their own picture for their avatar. It feels very safe here and I sometimes get tired of carefully avoiding the name of the city I actually live in. I also wondered if anyone has ever been "found out" on here.

[Orbit]

I understand the concern, but if you don't say where you live or anything about your town etc I think you're safe. Besides, this is a pretty obscure site and I can't imagine Xtians actually looking for anyone here.

[Burny]

My very Christian mother found me on here after only one week even though I used a nickname and didn't give specifics. I didn't think she'd ever come here in a million years!! It's the internet, and many xtians visit here.

 

Now I just assume she reads all my posts but since I've already come out I don't worry about it. Maybe she'll deconvert too some day! Love you mom!

[yunea]

I don't say my real name or post my face in the public threads. If someone else is okay with saying all those things, so be it for them, that's great really, but for now I won't - the circles were too small and it's just too much of a hassle if I'm discovered before I'm ready. 

 

Then again this hopefully is an unlikely place for any old "friends" (who really just shared the beliefs and not much more) to look for me.

 

I understand worrying about jobs and such. I wonder if my future bosses find me suspicious because I'm not on facebook at all. 

[Daffodil]

I don't say my real name or post my face in the public threads. If someone else is okay with saying all those things, so be it for them, that's great really, but for now I won't - the circles were too small and it's just too much of a hassle if I'm discovered before I'm ready. 

 

Then again this hopefully is an unlikely place for any old "friends" (who really just shared the beliefs and not much more) to look for me.

 

I understand worrying about jobs and such. I wonder if my future bosses find me suspicious because I'm not on facebook at all. 

Oh my goodness, I hadn't thought about that Facebook thing! I recently had them completely delete me from Facebook. Do you think there will come a day when employers expect everyone to be on Facebook and will disregard your application if they can't "check you out" online? I also am not on Twitter. I'm just through with the whole social media crap, and I am going to try to keep my kids off of it for as long as I possibly can. It would suck if they had to someday create a profile just to get a job!

[Leo]

Posts like this are a great reminder to those of us privileged to live in religiously moderate areas just how hard things can be. You have my sympathies. I continue internally to have this dialog re: getting rid of my own Facebook for a variety of reasons, but having family all over the world who uses it ... well ... I've thus far not done so.

I've read Jerry DeWitt's book and also follow him on YouTube. His story, as poignant and forthright as he is, really illustrates how vindictive former friends or even family can be once someone ruffles the feathers and upset the delicate balance of their beliefs. Again, it's a great reminder for those of us who live in more moderate circumstances, just how hard things can get.

 

I applaud parents who are watching out about this social networking. My daughter wasn't really into that stuff growing up, but I think all this online communication is going to have devastating consequences for young people when they get older.

[yunea]

 

I don't say my real name or post my face in the public threads. If someone else is okay with saying all those things, so be it for them, that's great really, but for now I won't - the circles were too small and it's just too much of a hassle if I'm discovered before I'm ready. 

 

Then again this hopefully is an unlikely place for any old "friends" (who really just shared the beliefs and not much more) to look for me.

 

I understand worrying about jobs and such. I wonder if my future bosses find me suspicious because I'm not on facebook at all. 

Oh my goodness, I hadn't thought about that Facebook thing! I recently had them completely delete me from Facebook. Do you think there will come a day when employers expect everyone to be on Facebook and will disregard your application if they can't "check you out" online? I also am not on Twitter. I'm just through with the whole social media crap, and I am going to try to keep my kids off of it for as long as I possibly can. It would suck if they had to someday create a profile just to get a job!

There's been talk about it, but I don't know how it's going to be. With the rate people my age are growing bored of fb though, I hope it won't be a too important factor.

 

I have a twitter but it's a complete joke. I didn't even update it for a year at one point.

[offtheromanroad]

The only thing I worry about is someone seeing ExC and my nick in an open browser window or the browser history.

 

Regarding Facebook: I sometimes sift intern applications at work and yes, I sometimes google applicants or check whether they have an FB account. I am always relieved when I can't find their account because I think that this shows they are responsible people who have a sense of privacy. But that is only my two cents, and I am not an HR professional (and on the evil old continent!).

[Ellinas]

If someone blundered on here who knew me, they could probably work it out, or at least be suspicious.  Not many Welshmen have a known interest in Greek.

 

I'm not overly worried, however, on that score. But I certainly wouldn't advertize my identity for all to see.

[knightcore]

 

I don't say my real name or post my face in the public threads. If someone else is okay with saying all those things, so be it for them, that's great really, but for now I won't - the circles were too small and it's just too much of a hassle if I'm discovered before I'm ready. 

 

Then again this hopefully is an unlikely place for any old "friends" (who really just shared the beliefs and not much more) to look for me.

 

I understand worrying about jobs and such. I wonder if my future bosses find me suspicious because I'm not on facebook at all. 

Oh my goodness, I hadn't thought about that Facebook thing! I recently had them completely delete me from Facebook. Do you think there will come a day when employers expect everyone to be on Facebook and will disregard your application if they can't "check you out" online? I also am not on Twitter. I'm just through with the whole social media crap, and I am going to try to keep my kids off of it for as long as I possibly can. It would suck if they had to someday create a profile just to get a job!

 

 

As far as I know as of right now, it is technically illegal for employers to hire and fire based on social media. But they are making you go more digital in most jobs as far as creating company website profiles and things like that. If you're really concerned about facebook, there's a lot of security settings you can use to keep people from looking into things you don't want. A lot of people that I know also have a personal facebook that is more private and then a professional one.

[★ Citsonga ★]

I've often wondered if there are any ex-christians on here whom I actually know personally. It would be cool to find someone from my Christian past who's also broken free, or vindicate myself from my former silly views with some other nonbeliever who knew me when I was a Christian.

 

I myself usually avoid posting enough personal stuff to easily identify me, though. However, there are occasional posts where someone may be able to figure me out. My profile has the state I live in and there's even one place on this board where someone could even get my name. To the best of my knowledge, though, none of the Christians in my life have found me here. My wife has surely seen me on this site, but I don't think she knows what user name I go by.