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Goodbye Jesus

Unsacred Namer Here.


nightflighter

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Hello all. I renounced my beliefs last April, and never felt more free. I was raised a catholic, but as soon as out of catholic school, I started going to the "sacred name" end of things, and had been with that for most of my life, finally falling in with the "hebrew roots" movement about 1o years ago. This is where the "wheels started to wobble" on the ol' belief wagon. The confusion involved with trying to keep the "613 laws" are impossible enough today without a/the "temple", not to mention no levitical priesthood to officiate. Then, tying to fit the square peg "Paul" into the round hole of "lawkeeping"....It got more confusing as time went on....

 

At this point, I want to say that I am not an agnostic or athiest; I have my belief in a Spirit. My letting people on the hebrew roots forum I was a member of got genuinely upset that a "believer" would have anything to do with a "demon", as they called it, as the believers are supposed to be "sealed by yhwh", and nothing like this would come upon a TRUE believer....I recieved nasty emails from the founder of the forum wanting to know why I had "conjured a spirit" (I did'nt), and basically how nasty a person I was in general for "dividing my faith" and making the cross for naught in my life. Well, so much for my faith being unshakable. As time went on, and I was trying to reconcile my belief with what was actually happening in my life. So much had happened in my life that could not have been planned better; and NONE by praying to yhwh. Finally, I realized one of three things was going on:

 

1) Yhwh allowed be to have a "familiar spirit", ergo, a death penalty offense because he loved me so much, and not remove it,

 

2) "I am yhwh, I am powerful.....But not as powerful as this Spirit,

 

3) Yhwh does'nt exist, ergo, no prayers are heard or answered.

 

The wheels finally came off when I read the bible as a book, not a holy tome. Paul's insane rantings are what did it. I got rid of all the bibles and literature I had, and started to "clean up" my life. My belief now is worshipping a Goddess, I guess that makes me a "demon worshipper", but I don't care. I'm outside of mainstream beliefs now, and am happy with my new life and freedom. 

 

 

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Welcome to Ex-C! We have several folks here that are not defined as atheist, and many of us had a few different shifts in belief over the years. When I realized the faith I had followed so strongly for years was not true, the invisible war of demons and angels suddenly went silent. No more thought-monitoring, no more rebuking and binding spirits, no more bullshit. The quiet was wonderful. My mind had been filling in the blanks of this invisible non-existent world and was finally done with that work. Rest! Ahhhhhh.

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Welcome to ex-C.  If you want to talk about your Spirit you might want to try the spirituality section.

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Hi Nightflighter, good to meet you. Interesting that you were in the sacred names movement. I feel that at some level, most evangelical Christians have some sort of a strange fetish for Jews. After deconverting, I speculated that maybe the reason for this is that Judaism and the Old Testament are fairly self-consistent. Yes, the Bible is replete with factual and logical errors. However I've found that from Genesis to Malachi (or 2 Chronicles to a Jew), the Old Testament teaches a fairly consistent message. Jesus then replaces this with a "new covenant," and Paul teaches doctrines that are hard to reconcile with either Jesus or the Old Testament. I guess it's easier if you simply re-interpret everything so that it comports with the Old Testament.

 

Paul is an interesting fellow. I actually hate him less than I do Jesus, because the doctrine of eternal conscious torment for non-believers isn't central to his theological framework. Paul is often criticized for being misogynistic, however Jesus never actually addressed gender hierarchy to any significant degree, and he only "respected" women insofar as he helped himself to their financial resources. The real problem is Paul is that he is a suspicious character. He never met Jesus in person, claimed to have a vision of him, anointed himself an apostle, and began to teach a message that was obviously contrary to that of Jesus. Having his writings in the Bible should make any logical Christian uneasy, and I suppose the sacred names movement is an easy way to de-emphasize Paul's contribution to the Bible.

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Welcome NF.

 

Leaving religion & your beliefs is almost always a lengthy experience that occurs in definable stages. Letting spirituality go is often the final stage & it isn't unusual for it to take years to reach that stage. And some people never reach that stage, and that's okay.

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The Sacred Names Movement is just another flavor of constructed and tribal religious dogma.

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Welcome, NF!  It's great to break free and realize what you do truly believe in, because YOU believe in it, it's not just something shoved down your throat.

 

Freedom!

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Hi everyone, and thank you for the kind words. It makes it easier, as I know how hard it is to have your whole world turned "upside down" when you come to the realizations. I'm glad we're here to help each other.

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Hi everyone, and thank you for the kind words. It makes it easier, as I know how hard it is to have your whole world turned "upside down" when you come to the realizations. I'm glad we're here to help each other.

Welcome to Ex-c Nightflighter! Thanks for sharing your story. Looking forward to hearing more from you. You have definitely found a community of 'like-minded' people. I hope you enjoy the site. Lots of good reading  and debates here! You're not alone in your doubts, that's for sure!. So good to have you here with us!!

 

(hug)

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Thanks again! I'm very glad to be here. I'm grateful that there's a place where we can talk openly about our de-conversions. :)

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