jrmarlin Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 I was very fortunate that even though both of my parents were raised in the church and I was confirmed at 12 in the Methodist church, my parents were not upset at all when I was in my early 20s, I decided that organized religion was not the route for me. My parents and my grandmother (also a church goer) were not shocked or amazed when I sat them down for the big talk regarding my spirituality and beliefs. Interestingly enough, my parents don't go to church anymore. I gathered they saw the same hypocracies I started to understand when I used to go to church, i.e. ministers cheating on their wives with a married woman in the choir....causing utter havoc and destroying two families in the process. When I started investigating other forms of spirituality - my parents have always been supportive. They have listen to my rants against the church and all the atrocities and have learned a few things through my own self discovery. So to say that my family was shocked or upset is far from the truth. My father has been a very important beacon for me because he is a highly educated man who has lived all over the world -- experienced several different cultures -- and has a great respect for all spirituality. He always says that the proof is in how we act towards others - how we respect ourselves. In reality, I think for my parents, church was a way to socialize but even that grew old after a while. Now, they just make friends through their work, other social groups etc. The old adage of practice what you preach is not prevalent in the church, which I believe was the big turn-off for my dad. So that's my story. Not very exciting but I wanted to share it because honestly, I was not sure before telling them (my parents) how they were going to take it. But they surprised the sh** out of me and actually embraced that I was an individual and it was my right as an individual to seek out my own path to spirituality. I am not an atheist. I do believe in Christ, but I would not say he was my personal savior as I believe the person most responsible for that is oneself. i don't know, but I have found that a majority of the people that I know who are not Christian seem to embrace unconditional love and forgiveness and non-judgmental attitudes much more than any christian I've ever met. It's like some feel if they go to church on Sunday, this abolishes all wrong-doings during the week. A lot of Christians I have found give to get what's in it for them... Which only (as I have seen) defeats the very reason for giving in the first place. So I am proud to be a non-Christian... Pagan if you will... and I am glad that my spirituality is as I have always suspected it to be, a very personal and private relationship -- not a group effort. People on the whole subscribe to the pack mentality. Perhaps that is why christianity - one of the biggest cults around -- still exists. It's sad that it does as it is not as it was meant to be. Also, thanks for the article on How Many People Have Been Killed In The Name of Christianity. It helped me prove my point most beautifully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reach Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Welcome, jrmarlin! It's always good to read about one more escapee from the faith, who manages to get through and get out of the cult without suffering a lot of abuse or damage. You are most fortunate to have had open-minded parents who held high moral principles and respect for others above the base and immoral teachings and practices of church leadership. We're glad to have you here with us and trust that you'll find much common ground. Good for you for keeping your brain engaged while you were growing up! -Reach P.S. What should we call you? Jrmarlin is kind of hard to pronounce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrmarlin Posted February 20, 2006 Author Share Posted February 20, 2006 Welcome, jrmarlin! It's always good to read about one more escapee from the faith, who manages to get through and get out of the cult without suffering a lot of abuse or damage. You are most fortunate to have had open-minded parents who held high moral principles and respect for others above the base and immoral teachings and practices of church leadership. We're glad to have you here with us and trust that you'll find much common ground. Good for you for keeping your brain engaged while you were growing up! -Reach P.S. What should we call you? Jrmarlin is kind of hard to pronounce. You can call me Marlin... Even though I'm a chick, I'm used to Marlin. Thank you for the great welcome! I have been laughing as I read some of the tidbits people here find on the Cult. (I love the band the Cult but not the Cult Cult...i.e. Christianity) I am just amazed at how much BS goes on in the church. I work with a fundamentalist (whom I will refer to as a Fundie from now on) and he is so sexually repressed its ridiculous. When I started working there, he was all like "We should have pure thoughts..." Yet, when I started talking about Dames, Booze, chains and Boots... He got so excited he started talking about S&M. Now he refers to rubber and chains et al. with as much passion as he talked about Christ before. By the way, tho he flirts like a heathen he is married with three children. They go to church every Sunday. He says his wife is a very jealous woman -- which has caused great stress in his Universe... I'll lay you ten to one if she ever heard the things he now says at work, she would be flabberghasted to say the least. It's amazing how the word leaves the lips of Christians when they feel they have met someone who will accept them no matter who or what they are. By the way, Reach, I love your signature. I once saw an advertisement that I loved... It said, The beauty of being over 40 is you get to kick someone's ass in more expensive shoes. I thought you might like that quote! Your signature is great Reach. I saw an ad that I think you'll appreciate... It said: One of the things I love about being 40 is that I am still kicking ass, it's just that I do it now in more expensive shoes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Checkmate Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Welcome to the forum, Marlin! You certainly were "blessed" to have such understanding parents. Other ex-Christians have lived and are living nightmares due to narrow-minded and terrified loved ones. It's sad. You sound like you have found a healthy place in this world, and I commend you. Stick around and add to the conversations. I suspect you have some wisdom you could impart to all. Peace! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Broke Free Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 I have found that a majority of the people that I know who are not Christian seem to embrace unconditional love and forgiveness and non-judgmental attitudes much more than any christian I've ever met. Agreed; when one is no longer under the judgmental finger of the Christian God, there is no need to try and deflect His gaze by pointing out the failures of others. Welcome to the Forum jrmarlin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eponymic Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Agreed; when one is no longer under the judgmental finger of the Christian God, there is no need to try and deflect His gaze by pointing out the failures of others. Indeed, not only that, but you begin to see how much you can progress when you actually take responsibility for your actions instead of blaming it all on sin & the devil. Good to have you here JM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reach Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 By the way, Reach, I love your signature. I once saw an advertisement that I loved... It said, The beauty of being over 40 is you get to kick someone's ass in more expensive shoes. I thought you might like that quote! Oh! I love it, Marlin! That reminds me of the movie Fried Green Tomatoes and that wonderful scene in the parking lot... "Let's face it, girls; I'm older and I have more insurance." Absolutely delightful! Thank you for your comments on my signature. I have always been something of an independent thinker. A rebel. A lover of justice. A seeker of truth. Willing to confront my own delusions. Sound familiar? I've been battling a nasty virus (I won!) which has prevented me from being here much for the last few weeks but judging by your post count, it looks like you've made yourself at home here. It's great to have you here with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 By the way, Reach, I love your signature. I once saw an advertisement that I loved... It said, The beauty of being over 40 is you get to kick someone's ass in more expensive shoes. I thought you might like that quote! Oh! I love it, Marlin! That reminds me of the movie Fried Green Tomatoes and that wonderful scene in the parking lot... "Let's face it, girls; I'm older and I have more insurance." Do you have a purple or red hat yet? http://www.salisburypost.com/2001oct/101901g.htm My mom is really into this stuff... although she doesn't go to the tea meetings and such. It's really cool. "When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick the flowers in other people's gardens . . . When I am an old woman... I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me... But maybe I ought to practice a little now?..." -Jenny Joseph http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Hat_Society Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gliph Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 i don't know, but I have found that a majority of the people that I know who are not Christian seem to embrace unconditional love and forgiveness and non-judgmental attitudes much more than any christian I've ever met. Welcome Marlin! Thanks for sharing part of your story. I would definitely have to agree with you on the "non christian" attitude, especially what and who you'll find here. I remember growing up that Atheist was basically a four letter word in my household, and Pagan... oooh! You might as well have said they were the devil... It truely is amazing that you had such an understanding support structure at home. It seems to be pretty rare around here... Its a road I haven't traveled down yet with any of my family (except my wife, and that was pretty rough) because I really worry about the consequences. I guess you'll be supporting all of us and getting us to come out of hiding, hmmmm??? You'll find tons of great people and great information here that will help you on your journey... Glad to have you here. -Gliph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrmarlin Posted March 10, 2006 Author Share Posted March 10, 2006 Welcome Marlin! Thanks for sharing part of your story. I would definitely have to agree with you on the "non christian" attitude, especially what and who you'll find here. I remember growing up that Atheist was basically a four letter word in my household, and Pagan... oooh! You might as well have said they were the devil... It truely is amazing that you had such an understanding support structure at home. It seems to be pretty rare around here... Its a road I haven't traveled down yet with any of my family (except my wife, and that was pretty rough) because I really worry about the consequences. I guess you'll be supporting all of us and getting us to come out of hiding, hmmmm??? You'll find tons of great people and great information here that will help you on your journey... Glad to have you here. -Gliph Thank you, Gliph. I am finding some stimulating conversations here to say the least. I have encountered the typical xians of my childhood and yet, I have met a refreshingly large amount of delightfully well-adjusted but bent non-Christians that have warmed my heart. I think you would be surprised at how accepting your family will grow to be -- and by telling them you woke up, while initially it will cause strife, in the end, it will help them along their path, too. I know that's hard to believe but it's true. Whenever someone tells me their christian parents got upset I tell them, "Gently remind them that it is God's word that they should love all unconditionally as he loves them..." Remarkably, I have found since my conversion to completely no christianity in my life, that I have learned a lot more about the bible than I did when I was actually going to church. Ironic? Hilarious? Sad? Probably all three. Thanks again for the Welcome, Gliph. I really appreciate it. You're a doll! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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