'i Feel Sorry For You If You Don't Believe In God. God Is Real, End Of Story'

[Wittyusername]

This was said to me yesterday by one of the most hateful people I know.

1. He was told by my former pastor that 'x does not come to church anymore and does not believe in God anymore'. Firstly, isn't there some sort of requirement of confidentiality? Private conversations with clergy are now for public consumption ? I do not want it to become public due to my conservative social circle and not wanting to upset some older relatives who are devout but also sweet and loving. They would never deconvert themselves and all that information would bring is pain. There are plenty of Easter and Christmas only Christians and I was going to pass as one of those for an easy life I suppose, rather than be labelled a devil worshiper and have my child shunned, as I have seen happen to atheists who are 'out'.

 

2. I did not even respond to this person. He has such a lack of self awareness and is a bully to boot. If he can not think of any arguments (default position)he will resort to ad hominem and I did not quite feel in the mood to be trashed by this cro magnon.

 

Does it get easier to deal with this wilful ignorance?

[qadeshet]

Yes, it gets easier. Eventually your response will be to laugh. Sarcasm is great in a case like this.

[mwc]

     The church is simply a place where people gather intelligence on one another.  It's old school (the oldest school?) social media.  Anything shared with clergy is ammunition that can be used against you and yours hopefully to shame you into "walking the right path" or something along those lines.  If it's not for that it's just for gossip which they won't ever admit to even as they gossip.  Don't ever say anything personal to anyone because the second you do it's as good as saying it to everyone.

 

          mwc

[Geezer]

In order to legally protect yourself from their harassment you must send your church a formal letter resigning your membership. As a member of the church you are agreeing to follow their rules & traditions. You have to legally sever that relationship.

 

If they continue to harass you then you need to see a lawyer. The church of Christ paid a large settlement to a woman they continued to harass & publicly embarrass.

[Jeff]

"Thanks for your concern but if you really cared you'd go on a fast for me "

[buffettphan]

Those prayer chains -- yeah right -- they're nothing but gossip chains.

[violetbutterfly]

"Thanks for your concern but if you really cared you'd go on a fast for me "

That's brilliant.

[amateur]

I, too, would've ignored the jackass that said the hateful thing.

 

But I would send a very short note to the former pastor, saying, "I had a private conversation with you as my pastor in which I discussed my lack of belief.  You chose to share that conversation, along with my identity, with others.  I am letting you know that was wrong of you to do, and it is hurtful to me."

 

No, nothing would come of it.  But I'd still have to say it.

[midniterider]

Rip the ex pastor a new one. Call him up and tell him to NEVER do that again. Let him have it. Getting verbally reamed may change his future confidentiality policy.

The other person can just be told to piss off.

[RedStar]

"Thanks for your concern but if you really cared you'd go on a fast for me "

"You can commence eating again when I believe in God again. Here's a pamphlet for a good funeral home."

[UBFree4all]

Yea, those hateful people really know how to start up a conversation. I know a religiously devout person who sucks the air right out of the room upon entering and then its like walking on eggshells in her presence.

[Geezer]

I, too, would've ignored the jackass that said the hateful thing.

 

But I would send a very short note to the former pastor, saying, "I had a private conversation with you as my pastor in which I discussed my lack of belief.  You chose to share that conversation, along with my identity, with others.  I am letting you know that was wrong of you to do, and it is hurtful to me."

 

 

Or you could say.....and now I'm suffering emotional trauma from the public embarrassment you subjected me to, but my lawyer will explain all of that when you receive the suit papers from him. Have a nice day & may God bless.

[sdelsolray]

This was said to me yesterday by one of the most hateful people I know.

1. He was told by my former pastor that 'x does not come to church anymore and does not believe in God anymore'. Firstly, isn't there some sort of requirement of confidentiality? Private conversations with clergy are now for public consumption ? I do not want it to become public due to my conservative social circle and not wanting to upset some older relatives who are devout but also sweet and loving. They would never deconvert themselves and all that information would bring is pain. There are plenty of Easter and Christmas only Christians and I was going to pass as one of those for an easy life I suppose, rather than be labelled a devil worshiper and have my child shunned, as I have seen happen to atheists who are 'out'.

 

2. I did not even respond to this person. He has such a lack of self awareness and is a bully to boot. If he can not think of any arguments (default position)he will resort to ad hominem and I did not quite feel in the mood to be trashed by this cro magnon.

 

Does it get easier to deal with this wilful ignorance?

 

 

I would walk away from, ignore, not deal further with folks who behave like this.  I'm not that important, and neither are they.  That being said, I get to choose how to spend my time and how I live my life.  They don't.

[Tsathoggua]

Yea, those hateful people really know how to start up a conversation. I know a religiously devout person who sucks the air right out of the room upon entering and then its like walking on eggshells in her presence.

 

Oh, I've known a few people just like that!  But most of the Christians that I know are actually pretty nice.

[hockeyfan70]

Unfortunately, it's hard to sue someone for breach of confidentiality in the church unless you and they specifically signed some kind of agreement or if you have a witness that can vouch for a verbal one. I know because I'm looking at the same stuff myself.

[midniterider]

1. He was told by my former pastor that 'x does not come to church anymore and does not believe in God anymore'.

 

Could remind this nasty person that the pastor apparently will tell anyone anything. What kinda crap has he told other people regarding the nasty person's private life? Hmmm.

[Deidre]

That's unfortunate. I believe again, but everyone has a journey separate and away from me. I think for some Christians, they take a person 'leaving the flock' as an affront to their own ego, their own choices. Oh.....well, does so and so think he/she is smarter than me for leaving the church? kind of thing.

 

I remember when I left Christianity for a while, at first, 'friends' of mine said a lot of mean spirited things.

[Ellinas]

On the basis that the pastor has "outed" you, presumably there is now no issue over severing all links?