Blue elephant Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Hey Stamps I would not be reading rejection in to the wife's response. I think that she is genuinely beside herself with all this. There are probably a number of other people also contacting her at the moment. Try contacting the brother-in-law and just going with the flow for a while. The true picture will emerge soon enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I agree that the wife is probably overwhelmed by tasks and phone calls. You mention not needing to pray. Agreed! People used to pray for me, but what I really wanted/needed was for them to get off their pew and do something. I would even joke about that, and people would still say, "Oh yeah, you're right! Well, good luck... I'll be praying for you." (Ummm, hello?) When a friend of mine was in the hospital, he had two young children and his wife visiting him daily. I arranged for a local gift basket store to put together some healthy snacks, kid's games, puzzle books and such, and had that sent to the hospital. It has been over ten years now, but they still occasionally mention how that basket arrived at the perfect time when everyone was bored and restless. Maybe you could send chocolates or a fruit basket or something to the hospital for the wife and other visitors? Just an idea. I'm glad to hear you don't feel guilty. It's a tough enough situation as it is. I feel for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stamps1962 Posted July 10, 2016 Author Share Posted July 10, 2016 http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/69610-a-story-continues/#.V4LbsvkrKUk My last thread on this got locked after 30 days, hope the above link works so I won't need to go back over the whole thing again. It concerns an old friend with whom I parted ways on religion many years ago. He suffered a severe injury three years ago, then his spouse died suddenly last year. I'd been trying to be there for him. We had been getting together for breakfast, and we hd him come over for dinner in March. Our pace of contact was dropping off as time went by but I had hoped to continue a friendship of sorts. The last time we spoke was six weeks ago. During that call it happened- he tried to 'witness' to me. Wanted to know why didn't go to church, was asking- almost pleading us- to visit his church. This is old ground, we've discussed this before and i thought it was settled. I managed to extricate myself from the discussion and have not called again, nor has he called me. More chilling to me was that he mentioned his brother in law- a serious fundie with what i suspect are mental issues- had been asking about my church status and saying he wanted to visit and 'talk about God' to me. I recalled he'd left a phone message about getting together but I never replied. Now I am glad I didn't. I ought to have known better. You simply cannot have a normal relationship with anyone infected with this stuff. Part of me wants to just tell him the truth that i have not as yet- that I no longer believe ANY of this stuff. Another part tells me he is not going to be able to take it well. If you've read the last posting you will see he had a severe head injury. Right now I plan to hold off calling him until later this summer then see how it goes. His brother in law can go pound sand. any thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted July 10, 2016 Super Moderator Share Posted July 10, 2016 The old thread is unlocked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stamps1962 Posted July 10, 2016 Author Share Posted July 10, 2016 florduh, thanks. Anyway this one can be merged into it. No sense in folks having to click back to get up to speed. OK if you can't do it, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted July 11, 2016 Moderator Share Posted July 11, 2016 Stamps, my opinion only. How important is this friendship to you? Were you just trying to help out an ole' friend in his time of need? Are you two real close friends? Is he back on his feet again and doing OK? It sounds to me that you might be able to let the friendship disintegrate over time if you're not really close to him. I personally could not hang out with anyone who wanted to 'bring me back to god'. How do you feel about this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stamps1962 Posted July 12, 2016 Author Share Posted July 12, 2016 Thanks for reply. At one time we were very close, like brothers. We were each others' best man and shared a house until he got married. A complete break would be very wrenching, but I have to admit it does not seem as unthinkable as it may have once. Several times I have thought about calling him but something stops me; he has a phone, too. If this bothered him as much as it does me, he could call, but hasn't. The brother in law is just schizoid; never married lives alone in the same apartment for 30 years and has a couple rooms full of old newspaper clippings. I want nothing to do with him. My wife says to leave him alone, he will call eventually and we can go on as before and not mention it. That's as good as I think it is going to get. I also think I need to stop posting about this, about all that can be said by me and others has been said. Why does it have to be this way? It is what it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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