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Dumbest/weirdest/most Repulsive Argument Or Story A Fundy Ever Told You?

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I heard a pastor once tell a story about his neighbor, who had lost a child, been laid-off, and gone through a bitter divorce all within six months.  The neighbor intimated to the pastor that he often wondered what was the point of going on when his entire life has been completely destroyed through no fault of his own.  He admitted that he had even considered suicide.

 

The pastor's response:  "You can go to hell if you want to; but I intend to go to heaven."

 

Fucking arrogant asshole.

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6 hours ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

I heard a pastor once tell a story about his neighbor, who had lost a child, been laid-off, and gone through a bitter divorce all within six months.  The neighbor intimated to the pastor that he often wondered what was the point of going on when his entire life has been completely destroyed through no fault of his own.  He admitted that he had even considered suicide.

 

The pastor's response:  "You can go to hell if you want to; but I intend to go to heaven."

 

Fucking arrogant asshole.

 

I bet that terrible pastor thought he was being really badass.

 

Your reference to suicide reminds me how growing up my dad used to talk a lot about how much he hated the world and how much he was looking forward to dying and going to heaven. He explained he can't commit suicide because that would be sin, but he's basically waiting for something to fortuitously take his life away. It's heavy stuff to tell a little kid who is still trying to figure out basic social skills. 

 

I wonder how many christians have this kind of distorted, suicidal attitude dressed up as faith?

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I grew up in an all-black church where we were taught that Martin Luther King was not saved because he was not part of our sect (church of Christ).

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On 2/10/2018 at 3:42 AM, TheRedneckProfessor said:

I heard a pastor once tell a story about his neighbor, who had lost a child, been laid-off, and gone through a bitter divorce all within six months.  The neighbor intimated to the pastor that he often wondered what was the point of going on when his entire life has been completely destroyed through no fault of his own.  He admitted that he had even considered suicide.

 

The pastor's response:  "You can go to hell if you want to; but I intend to go to heaven."

 

Fucking arrogant asshole.

 

Holy shit! That's just nuts.

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That mental illness was demon possession.

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In response to my uncle hearing I had left the faith, he explained how sickness wasn't real and how jesus bore all our illnesses, even his sniffles at the moment. Total denial. I just love him though he's a good man. Just confused.

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On 10/15/2016 at 10:08 AM, rjn said:

In the "Stuff Fundies Post on Facebook"-thread, we have thousands of examples of just how hilarious AND horrible fundies can be. Most of them though, are made up of short Facebook-posts, Tweets, or Memes. My intention with this thread however, is to give you guys an opportunity to share the weirdest pro-Christian arguments or bullshit stories you've heard: Farfetched nonsense, great displays of wilfull ignorance, extreme stupidity, batshit insane delusions, stomach-churning "morals" - you name it - bring it on!

One time at a youth group meeting one of the pastors told us a story about how two girls who sat in the front row kept mocking him. He told them to stop or else. Basically they continued on anyway. After church was over, those two girls got gang raped. I’m guessing it was supposed to be a “lesson in there” kind of story 

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On 3/31/2018 at 12:25 PM, Nani said:

One time at a youth group meeting one of the pastors told us a story about how two girls who sat in the front row kept mocking him. He told them to stop or else. Basically they continued on anyway. After church was over, those two girls got gang raped. I’m guessing it was supposed to be a “lesson in there” kind of story 

The fuck did I just read?!?

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Why spend time recounting what dysfunctional, mentally ill, emotionally challenged, and/or generally fucked up people say, regardless of whether they are fundamentalist creeps, conspiracy theory nutters, and/or something else?

 

Are there more important things to spend time with?

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sdelsolray, because it can be therapeutic. To be in a sea of people who all say ‘saying this shit is normal’ can be crazy making. Having other people acknowledge it is batshit can be very validating.

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On 5/29/2018 at 10:08 PM, sdelsolray said:

Why spend time recounting what dysfunctional, mentally ill, emotionally challenged, and/or generally fucked up people say, regardless of whether they are fundamentalist creeps, conspiracy theory nutters, and/or something else?

 

Are there more important things to spend time with?

A lot of us has been forced to endure these horrible things and then gaslighted so we can perpetually lie to ourselves about what they do and what has been happening. It really screws with our sense of reality. It's a way for us to reassure each other that, yes, it did happen, and yes, it was horrible, and no, it was not ok.

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I don't know about "most repulsive thing ever" but I am repulsed so it applies. My parents KNOW that I am agnostic and firmly not a Christian. I skirt around family prayer, change the subject when "god's hedge of protection" comes up, I don't go to church, I could go on. I do this mostly out of respect, I'm not trying to rock the boat or piss them off so we just don't talk about it. So my parents just throw it in my face ALL THE TIME. For my birthday, both parents wrote this long facebook posts all about how god created me to be beautiful, smart, hardworking, creative, etc. It is SO REPULSIVE to me that they go out of their way, on my birthday, to make this public posts that make me directly uncomfortable with regard to my difference in faith. I'd rather them just not say anything at all, then put me in this position of either acknowledging what they said or ignoring them.

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They are masters of the awful art of passive aggressiveness.

 

 

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Earlier today, a conversation in my presence:

 

A) "I hate snakes; I'd rather hold a tarantula than even be near a snake."

 

B) "Maybe it's hardwired into us by God..."

 

A) "...yeah, because Satan was a serpent..."

 

B) "...yeah, and all animals were good until the Fall. After that, they're vicious."

 

Another conversation, one where I laid out my reasons for not believing the literal/historical interpretation of bible stories, ended with me saying, "...so there should be room for people to understand that stories can have meaning without being literally true."

 

The listener's response: "Yeah, and room to say that people who DO believe in a literal Ark aren't stupid."

 

My tongue is still sore from all the biting.

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I cannot fathom what goes through these people's brains. The worst I ever heard was that my clinical depression is not a result of chemical imbalance or childhood abuse, but a result of me not believing in hell...

 

As it turns out, several people here seem to have become depressed because of their belief in hell.

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When I was a christian, I was often told how God always speaks to us and that if we ask God for signs he will answer in "mysterious" ways such as directing the flow of a conversation of some random people nearby to say a certain word that you will over hear, to which will be an answer to your prayer-question. This teaching from my christian fundamentalist school is what cemented my path into suffering from tremendous anxiety about the future when I believed God had given me signs confirming my prayer-question that "yes, something horrible and harrowing for you will happen long in your future". 

 

What did not help was that during the months of suffering this tremendous anxiety my family took me to a counsellor and told her that "we are a christian family", the counsellor therefore did not say anything about how the human mind can actually selectively hear words and that words such as "yes", "it will", "it will happen" are common words and why and how I was worrying for nothing. Due to counsellors not being allowed to talk in a way that made people question their faith nor anything related to religion the counsellor had to talk in a way that did not sound like it was going to make me doubt my faith or connect the power of the human mind's trickery such as the supposed gut feeling of God's existence.

 

Therefore after those months where my anxiety began to fizzle away due to me becoming very exhausted and developing problems with my immune system from all the intense stress, depression, panicking, crying, and misery, my family had actually wondered that PERHAPS I was demon possessed or had a poor relationship with God and that all I needed was more prayer - something which did not help for me especially when I would get told about how the church is "praying for you" where one of the church members called me saying: "I was praying for you and then God told me you will never suffer from this illness in the future" in which I asked "how did God tell you", and she said "I had this feeling in my heart and thats how I knew", that to me was a poor answer and did not help with my anxiety.

 

It has been 4 years since then and I am rockily recovering but my personality that made me such a happy, confident, excited, bright, free and nostalgic character is no more, I have been traumatised by the very clear memories of my tremendous anxiety and I am on anti depressants to help keep my mood lifted.

 

And still my mother refuses to accept that religion along with it's stupid teachings caused me the anxiety, all she says is "No, It was just you that caused the anxiety, not Christianity, If you truly put all your trust and faith in God you would have never suffered this anxiety". This is one of the reasons why religion makes me sick to my stomach, it makes believers - even family members think selfishly, foolishly, and un empathically and yet claim to have the "moral high ground".

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My brother told me a story once about a woman who had "miraculously" survived a train crash. Of course she claimed it was God who saved her. I asked my brother why God hadn't saved the other people in that crash, and he hinted that maybe they weren't Christians. 

 

Another time he had been doing some outreach in the streets. It was a warm day and he had just finished his drink, when some people he had been speaking to previously, brought him a coke or something. He thought this was a sign from God that God was looking out for him. I felt like asking why God didn't send fresh drinks to the countless people dying of dehydration or diseases from drinking infected water......Some serious tongue biting there! 

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On 9/20/2018 at 6:08 PM, Stargazer95 said:

My brother told me a story once about a woman who had "miraculously" survived a train crash. Of course she claimed it was God who saved her. I asked my brother why God hadn't saved the other people in that crash, and he hinted that maybe they weren't Christians. 

 

Another time he had been doing some outreach in the streets. It was a warm day and he had just finished his drink, when some people he had been speaking to previously, brought him a coke or something. He thought this was a sign from God that God was looking out for him. I felt like asking why God didn't send fresh drinks to the countless people dying of dehydration or diseases from drinking infected water......Some serious tongue biting there! 

I suppose christianity crucified his brain?

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8 hours ago, HoneyBib said:

I suppose christianity crucified his brain?

 

Pretty much 

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This morning I tried to lay down some rules about privacy and personal boundaries with a family member, by telling them that those are important to me, and that I'm not likely to forget the time when I started receiving get well cards from people whom I hadn't said a word to about my health conditions. Apparently though, the fault is with me, and I can't accept people praying for me etc, because I don't believe in god. Thus, if you believe in god, the logic goes that you also accept boundary violations and people talking about your personal health conditions.

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Anybody else think it's funny as fuck that people pray for donuts to be "nourishing to their body." 

 

Like god literally burns people for eternity for not worshiping him for slaughtering his son-self. He does not give a fuck about your stupid donuts.

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I was told that a missionary went to Africa and didn’t tithe because he didn’t think he could afford it. His child sat up in bed one night screaming,possessed by a demon. I’m sure you can see where this is going. The missionary repented, laid hands on the child and the demon left. 

Bunch of bullshit. 

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On 10/29/2018 at 12:43 PM, TruthSeeker0 said:

This morning I tried to lay down some rules about privacy and personal boundaries with a family member, by telling them that those are important to me, and that I'm not likely to forget the time when I started receiving get well cards from people whom I hadn't said a word to about my health conditions. Apparently though, the fault is with me, and I can't accept people praying for me etc, because I don't believe in god. Thus, if you believe in god, the logic goes that you also accept boundary violations and people talking about your personal health conditions.

 

Well, I guess you could always send these folks notes of concern regarding their delusional mental state and their resulting illrational behaviors and how it all negatively impacts their lives, along with a suggestion of a councilor specializing in religious trauma syndrome.

 

When they complain let them know the fault is with them, because they do not accept reality.

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On 11/4/2018 at 11:20 AM, PurpleLilac said:

I was told that a missionary went to Africa and didn’t tithe because he didn’t think he could afford it. His child sat up in bed one night screaming,possessed by a demon. I’m sure you can see where this is going. The missionary repented, laid hands on the child and the demon left. 

Bunch of bullshit. 

That kind of shit always happens in far away countries where we are unlikely to attempt to validate the stories. 

When I point this out to Mrs. MOHO she replies that is because those countries have turned away from God. 

 

Oh! Like San Francisco is such a bastion of morality. 

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So I work with a VERY strong Christian. Like....exactly the same as me a few years ago. I respect him for actually attempting to live what he preaches. He doesn't evangelize with me or push his faith on me, but you can tell he is frustrated with being here on earth because "his heart is for the kingdom." Seriously, I'll be curious to see if he ever reaches out to me because he follows the same path as me. 

 

So we're talking religion and politics, the no-nos of the work world, specifically like racism and being white and stuff. He says something like, "Come on, man, you can't blame children for the something their parents did, like there's even a commandment about that in Kings!" (I think he meant Deuteronomy). I straight up said, "Yeah, that is part of the reason I am where I am with regard to faith, you know with the whole Adam thing." I think he might have missed it, it didn't click.

 

But he was going on and on about sins of the father and all I could think was...."THAT IS WHAT YOU BELIEVE. THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF YOUR FAITH.THIS IS YOUR RELIGION. YOU BELIEVE IN SIN BECAUSE OF ADAM. LIKE YOU BELIEVE WE DESERVE HELL BECAUSE OF ADAM. YOU BELIEVE THAT." It's like, why does this not click with him?!?! It's the same thing!!!

 

I really hope this guy breaks out. He is so sincere, just l like I was/am, I can see it a mile away. He gives a shit, like I did. His heart is "after god's," he isn't in it for fear of hell OR heaven's reward. It's so refreshing to encounter Christians like this, regardless of how annoying it can be, because I have hope that more can eventually break out like I did. Y'all, my heart is broken for this guy more than anything else. I just wanted to share this because it bugs me so much and who else am I gonna tell.

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