pitchu Posted May 12, 2005 Author Share Posted May 12, 2005 The death of the living That’s what it feels like, doesn’t it Pitchu? Yes, you can still talk and write to them. They respond in the most predictable fashion, and you keep up the charade of having a “relationship.” But it isn’t real. Their life is like a big beautiful red balloon. Every part of it presents to the world exactly what they want you to see. But it is hallow and dangerously over-inflated. You are the “rose” Pitchu; fragrant, beautiful, earthly, but you have those dangerous thorns! Mustn’t get too close! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You've got it exactly right, IBF. I've mentioned at other times that it's like a giant pod was put under daughter's bed to steal her essence, and I've been dealing with the empty shell of her ever since. Your balloon/thorn analogy is poignantly accurate, I fear (and I don't even apologize for soaking up the love from you in the rose description!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlinfmct87 Posted May 14, 2005 Share Posted May 14, 2005 You're welcome pitchu... just let me know if I start doing more harm than good. IBF's story rang true for me as well... so often it feels like you are talking to a zombie or a doppelganger, not a real person. That hurts... In any case, keep us in touch! Merlin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitchu Posted May 15, 2005 Author Share Posted May 15, 2005 Thanks, Merlin. I will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted May 17, 2005 Share Posted May 17, 2005 I thought that this article would make a nice little addition to this thread. FROM HERE Mass. Acceptance for Married Gays Grows By THEO EMERY, Associated Press Writer Mon May 16, 6:18 PM ET CAMBRIDGE, Mass. - A year after the tumult of last May, when gays lined up at city halls across Massachusetts to exchange vows and celebrated with the popping of champagne corks, many of the same-sex couples have settled into the patterns of married life. In all, nearly 6,200 same-sex couples — nearly two-thirds of them lesbian couples — have gotten married. They collect mementos of that day and the ones that followed: wedding rings, framed photos, scrapbooks, newspaper clippings. They have also checked off "married" on state government forms. They have gotten family memberships to health clubs and museums. And they have filed state taxes together. For months after Jean McGuire wed her longtime lesbian partner in front of City Hall last May 17, she kept a card tucked in her wallet. She saved the note because of what her Irish-Catholic parents had unexpectedly written: their congratulations on the marriage. These were the same parents who 14 years ago politely told their divorced daughter and her new partner that they were not welcome in their home. But over time, there were family gatherings and vacations together, and slowly the family knitted itself back together. In fact, for Mother's Day, McGuire's parents sent her partner, Barbara Herbert, a card saying what a good mother she has been. "It hasn't been easy for them to embrace the reality of our life," McGuire, 52, said as she sat across the kitchen table from Herbert, 56, in their Cambridge home. "They are genuinely pleased that we have a public acknowledgment of our relationship. That sort of surprised me." Some couples say marriage has barely changed their lives or their relationships. Others say that May 17 — the day that the nation's first state-sanctioned gay weddings began — was a tectonic shift that still delivers aftershocks 12 months later. For some, it was both. "It's paradoxical, because at some level, gay marriage was a non-event. Nothing bad happened. And then on another level, it was a gateway, for a different kind of generosity and alliance that we didn't expect," Herbert said. Julie and Hillary Goodridge, the lead plaintiffs in the lawsuit that led to gay marriage in Massachusetts, carry copies of their license everywhere they go, in case they have to prove in an emergency that they are legally wed. When their daughter Annie was born nine years ago, complications put Annie and Julie Goodridge on different floors of the same hospital, and Hillary had no legal right to see either of them. A month after their wedding, another visit to the same hospital showed how things had changed. When one of Annie's toys got stuck in a tree, Hillary tried to dislodge it by throwing a broom, and was hit in the face with the handle. When a nurse at the hospital asked the bleeding Hillary if she was married, she replied yes. When asked if her husband was in the waiting room, Hillary corrected him: "I said, `SHE is in the waiting room.'" "He smiled and said, `Of course. Would she like to come in?'" recalled Hillary, 49. "And then I knew I wouldn't have to worry." Robert Small-Jason, 41, and Kevin Clayton, 41, of Boston said little changed in their lives after last May, when they had a small wedding ceremony in Provincetown. Clayton wasn't sure where to find their wedding license when a visitor asked about it. That is because they date their real marriage to 2002, when they had about 80 guests at their home, with a band playing on a balcony. "I wasn't going to call it anything but a wedding," Clayton said of their original ceremony. "The only thing different that we didn't have, that a heterosexual couple would, was a license." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted May 17, 2005 Share Posted May 17, 2005 pitchu, Not entirely *on topic* with your thoughts in letter, but an allied idea.. We have a gay couple here in my Town that we are decent friends with. We are welcome visitors at their House, as they are to haciendaFatman... Kellie and Gina treat these men like long lost brothers, I'm damn comfortable with fellow shooters and bike riders. Our friends have stated that at hacienda is one of few places that they don't feel conspicious and conspiratorial, trying to sneak around and not appear to be what they are, a commited couple doing things together with friends.. Where my area isn't fundie_national, it sure isn't *fag friendly*, there is a need for gays to be able to protect themselves from the self appointed "bats from gohwd" delivering their messages.. We provide the means and training for such, even to the point of Deadly Force.. Our Friends are welcome through the doors of my House, not just the physical entry, but to whatever things and means we may have to offer. I don't care, nor give a damn who they spend their lives with.. n Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitchu Posted May 18, 2005 Author Share Posted May 18, 2005 Fwee and Nivek, Such goodness from both of you. Thank you, friends. I guess a big possibility, never to be overlooked, is that normalization has to creep its way along, until it envelops even the most recalcitrant. It's certainly something to look forward to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts