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No Nursing Home For Me


Poonis

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from http://rense.com/general69/nonurs.htm

 

No Nursing Home For Me

 

Author Unknown

3-7-6

 

 

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back-to-back.

 

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home".

 

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations on a Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

 

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

 

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast-in-bed every day of the week).

 

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

 

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

 

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

 

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

 

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

 

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

 

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

 

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?

 

Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

 

PS: And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side -- at no charge

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I don't know whether to laugh or cry, but certainly I am not surprised.

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This is classic. Interesting alternative to nursing homes.... And a lot more entertaining!

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Just because a person is old, doesn't mean they belong in a nursing home. Now, when she gets to the point of needing her water thickened to keep from choking on it, she may want a refund on her next four tickets.

 

<I can be such a fuckihn wet blanket sometimes>

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I hate nursing homes! My mom's been in one, a nice one, for almost three years. It's clean and the staff is good but I hate going there. She's not too fond of it but since she had a stroke and can't walk, can't move her right side, and is incontinent, that is where she is. She still has her mind, thank goodness. There are several fellow residents who don't. In her family, there is a strong tradition of taking care of elders. Her mother's mother lived with the family until she died. Her mother was in a nursing home the last few years of her life but my aunt (mom's sister) was there every day all day and I got commandeered into being there every evening when I moved to the same town. My parents moved to a retirement home 15 years ago that had nursing home care on site if needed, so that's how she ended up there.

 

Being on a cruise ship would be fine as long as you can get around and take care of yourself. If you can't, I don't think the staff would bathe, dress, and feed you.

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Nursing homes are one of the main reasons why I firmly believe in suicide as a viable health care option. Even the best homes are just... I dunno. I don't want to go out that way. If I'm old and infirm and can't move around on my own anymore, or am too frail and sick to be taken out anywhere, even the best home would be essentially a prison.

 

When I get to the point where water makes me choke, I don't want to be here anymore. Get me an understanding doc and a prescription for morphine.

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Got thinking about the post yesterday and the only thing I think would be an uncomfortable part of this idea is the fact that several disappearances and crimes have been happening on cruise ships and no one seems to be doing a damn thing about them.

 

They aren't subject really to any particular law. The lawlessness seems to be leading to some very heinous violence. That part leaves me a little queezzzzyyyy.

 

Happy morning everyone! Working on my first cup of joe so I'm moving a little slow.

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I would think they'd be subject to international law, at least.

 

There are communities for the elderly that aren't nursing homes, with condos and the like. They have shops and hair salons and stuff. Might be a good alternative.

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I used to work in a nursing home, my mother still works there. It was supposed to be one of the best in the state - ha! The therapy people were good and honest, and tried hard to get the residents to function as best they could. But the nursing staff was made up of snotty, bitter women who'd slept through night school for a year and somehow managed to gain the right to take care of other persons' health and well-being. (If you ever see those ads on TV for correspondence or online colleges "in the medical field", that's what they studied - to be "nurse assistants" or "medical technicians" or whatever.) They seemed both perpertually bored and pissed.

 

The one thing that really irked me, though, was the upkeep of the place. The guy who ran it was notoriously cheap and the food was always absolutely terrible because it was both the lowest grade possible, and whatever was left over from the last meal, reheated. He was close friends with the head of maintenance; he was too cheap to keep the building in good condition, and the maintenance head was too lazy, so they tended to agree on everything. I remember getting my mop water (I was a housekeeper) in a closet with a giant hole in the ceiling, and giant unidentifiable bugs crawling in and out of cracks in warped countertops and behind damp rattling sinks. The shower rooms were covered in ancient mold with toilet seats loose and broken off, mirrors had cracks and giant sticky marks on them, the private rooms' showerheads and bathrub faucets were so caked with water deposits they barely ran, and there was dangerous (and illegal) black mold behind all the walls in the dining room. I remember one dining room didn't have lights in it. I'm serious. Finally one resident's family complained about it, and a muttering, grumbling pair of maitenance workers begrudgingly put lights up on the walls. But not the giant picture that had fallen off the wall years ago - that was too much effort, even if it was in the same room.

 

My boss there was a total bitch who expected me to be superhuman and complete 45 minutes' worth of minute and perfect, highly detailed tasks in five minutes, preferably less. She did this to make up for her brother's lousy maitenance job - yes, she was his sister. (See how this works here?) As housekeeper, it was my job to fix, or at least hide, all the crap he left undone.

 

One of these days that entire fucking building is going to fall down. My mom is thinking of moving to another facility to work closer to home. If she does, I'll be writing a letter to the Health Department, detailing the extensive black mold in the dining room. ;)

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