Friends and family

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

What's the best way to handle friends and family who are Christian? They are always trying to proselytize for obvious reasons. I don't wanna hurt their faith by telling them I no longer believe. But at the same time it's always awkward.

 

Dark Bishop

[LogicalFallacy]

Are they proselytizing you? If so why since they don't think that you are a non believer? 

 

Any that do know I would remind them that you no longer believe. 

 

For those that don't know you might have to accept it until you are ready to let the world know?

 

If someone who does know you don't believe is preaching, then perhaps some hard questions for them are in order? Study up, make sure you know some of the common Christian come backs and have a discussion if you are prepared to.

[♦ Fuego ♦]

If you mean that believers constantly remind each other of bible verses and promises, yep, they do that a lot. When one has stopped believing, one has to decide what to do. I have come out to certain people, certain family members, and not to others. The others assume I am still a believer, even though they know I do not attend church. I do this to remain an influence. I do have to sit through family bible times occasionally, and not speak up to counter the lies. If I came out, I would be excluded from their family times. So for now, I remain cloaked. To others in my family that have come out as well, and whom I haven't told exactly, they still see that I am not like the fundy family members, so they can confide in me. I have to be careful what I say on FB because the believers are on there. So I bide my time.

 

But I don't have to live with them, or even see them very often. I would likely become more open with questions designed to make them think. All believers see the holes, all of them have questions and doubts, but they are taught to ignore them and press on, or make up stupid excuses for god not keeping promises, and then to keep on relying on those promises...

 

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

Right now I've been out of church four years because I was mad at God and was questioning my faith. It wasn't till a month ago that I researched and lost all faith in the bible.

     So they have been inviting me to church, asking me to call them etc. Had a few FB chats with some. It always ends up the same. They want me to come back.

 

Db

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

Feugo,

   You are in a similar position as I am. So far I remained cloaked as well but I hate living the lie. At the same time it would break my mom's heart so I remain silent when I'm around her. 

 

DB

[Guest]

Although it took about two years, I eventually told my family and friends in a former letter. Very brief but covered all my bases (so that I was seen as logical to some degree). It improved my relationship with my mother and her side of the family, as well as some friends. Even my former friend from the church respected me for it. Of course, it doesn't always work out that way, but I find that honesty hurts but it doesn't hurt as much as living in secret. 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Although I haven't officially told most of my extended family, they know.  It's kind of an open secret (of which my family are masters).  My mom used to pull the same tricks with me with the praying and the praise and worship music on at her house 24/7 and the general hand-wringing over the whole thing.  I eventually encouraged her to pray about it.  I told her that if prayer really worked, I'd come back to jesus without her constant witness; and if prayer didn't work, well... maybe she would consider coming on over to the dark side.  I also told her that her worrying demonstrated a lack of faith in god; because it showed that she wasn't really trusting him for the salvation of my immortal soul.  If she couldn't trust him with my soul, how could she be sure she could trust him with her own?  Once you get them considering their own faith, they'll usually either give up or shut up.  Either way works out for the infidel.

[buffettphan]

According to my 84-year old mother, I'm just going through a stage.   Yeah mom, a stage that has lasted 40+ years.   Sometimes you've just got to laugh -- and live your own life because it's the only one you'll ever have.

[florduh]

Those of us who don't believe the same as our Christian relatives must not be defensive. We have the same right to think as everyone else. We have a right to disagree. We have a right to come to our own conclusions. Hiding who we are, what we think, because we fear we might offend, disappoint or otherwise inconvenience the believers we know is ridiculous. Don't let others make the rules for you to live by. 

[LogicalFallacy]

5 hours ago, buffettphan said:

According to my 84-year old mother, I'm just going through a stage.   Yeah mom, a stage that has lasted 40+ years.   Sometimes you've just got to laugh -- and live your own life because it's the only one you'll ever have.

 My parents think I'm going through a stage... I think it's a mental defensive mechanism to cope with the situation.