Escaping the Nonsensical - My Story.

[DarkFlash]

Greetings, everyone! First timer since walking from pure ignorance the influenced years of my life. Saddening very much but truly after so much has taken place was it time for me to really awaken and see for myself. .that I was lied to amongst many. Overwhelming it's very much been, this journey and with this said alone am I fine with walking away permanently. The scars exist for sure, but with a coupled realization are they settled with a newfound happiness. It's all we need yes? 

 

The Lord is tested by many, including us members to seek thy face no matter what conundrum we're in the midst of, from family members, various losses, anything with this strong belief that he's, like ourselves, alive and very much our everyday strength. But when you've fallen prey is where the ignorance comes through so ultimately are you left with the four W's since after all, God has always been full of questions. To ask why, what, when, and where is ridiculous considering whom we're speaking of right? During a sermon was I told that sometimes he 'does things that make little sense', but like anyone do you seek those answers as to why you're facing such balderdash at every turn. Growing up was my denomination COGIC or Pentecostal on the belief that Jesus, the Lord, and the Holy Spirit were of one body--though with time as I aged were things becoming more. .fastidious you'd say? It truly began around the recent age of 25 - 26 after leaving my father's home since around this huge piece of my family is God exalted strongly from tongues to tithing, etc as i'm sure many can relate but when it came to fasting throughout my childhood was it questioned to both my mother and I as simply being. .starved? For years have they been divorced so we'll add this introduction to his wife whom she and I have always sought to war with each other. Sure was it stressed heavily otherwise but when you wonder do you simply wonder. I never understood how one gained the Holy Ghost and how this language came with it unless every Christian grew to make up their own versions respectively. All of them were original by far so like usual was it believed that someday i'd gain such when he'd been ready after many moments of hands laid and this calling made itself known to me.

 

Anyway, around 2009-2010 with strong misfortune did my mother lose her home due to her reasons and further resulted in mental trauma and me having to live with both he and his wife for a good two to three years. Now, my father's wife and I have never had the best history together and it spawns from again, my childhood betwixt battles of custody, favoritism of her daughter over myself which turned out to be quite noticeable seeing that she had a room and I never did while living with them during my middle school years onward until I left due to lack of tolerance one day. Also was there myself being the illegitimate son to her among her current three which i'm fine with since that lessens responsibilities for me. To be the outsider can turn out as a beautiful thing, should things have a decent viewpoint about them. The refusal of not wanting to go one to two days without eating was to me, very strange so it often caused quite a stir including the loss of freedom in comparison to residing with my mother. But either way, could you go without church. Never, according to. Weekly was it a mission to attend, though at home was it always a difference. Convincingly were things established that she did not want me there from deadlines on when to leave, living in the basement and even coming down with intent to irritate at times if I wasn't ready for church to her speed so clearly were memories existent of the past with her inability to let go. Saved, sanctified, and filled were they both as portrayed especially my father who gave his heart at the age of 19 but their reasons. .just didn't add up to me. Not at all did she break down her qualms with me so that a possible peace could be brought out, so I came to conclude that when the time came that i'd be out very soon. We're now sitting on 2017 and nothing's changed between us both, which i've accepted and always will. So!

 

 Each time did I speak with my father about it because I wondered that since devoted years of being in the Lord's presence you both have given, why is this done? To forgive and never forget or the secondary choice to simply forget by God's power being placed before you having always been optional do I have the right to wonder. You don't expect these kind of things from those whom are believers like yourself from being called names besides who you are, not able to be around whom are called your 'brother and sisters' and even your own grandparents noticing that you're literally a ghost inside. Saddening, really. My answers given in junction from him were menial, but readable dismissals to pretty much enlighten me on his limitations toward patching up what could be within his own household. What stood out the most was, after I approached him about when she told me that whenever i'm seen or around them I literally 'make her life miserable' and other occurrences was it resulted in being told it's 'my own cross to bare'. To every other situation involving life were the responses commonplace such as keeping the faith, God's plans for me and means of trying to get my attention during moments of loss without much gain be it my job loss for two reasons being management racism alongside pointless explanation that you can't control a city bus and it's arrival and as of current. .my reasoning on why i've decided to walk finally. By the way do I hope i'm not rambling too much here, since like all of you is this a literal rollercoaster for me until also, like you all, have I accepted life for what it truly, truly is. 

 

I have yet to call this woman my 'stepmother' because of how situations have been handled such as being asked by my father three times if she really said that to me about making her life miserable, indirect jabs at being called a stalker and child molester just because i'd gone upstairs to tell her two children goodnight and I loved them before I left to see a friend during a week's Winter Break. While combatting with her from verbal standpoints after clear offense in my personal inability to handle these words did she throw her ice cream at me. As for my father? He was right there and resulting in his supposed 'disbelief' that she even did such is why he didn't react until after my best friend and his mother came to pick me up that night. There was no expectancy for him to put his hands on her, but to address why I was questioned for starters on telling my 'brother and sister' that i'll see them in a week and why things are only handled when i'm not present. The two times I had to return in staying with them was it that way and many times did I overhear being called an inconvience to the household and again, this entire time were things never solved. Her qualms were hers to hold, and there was nothing I could do. Did I try? Yes. Results? Nothing. When I returned was the apology there but only for the ice cream and to this day was it never for where it all started so to this day, she feels entitled so with time did I have to accept she, and things for what they were. Of course did I know it'd always been something, but how can these issues die off if there hasn't been a means of calming the storm? She's gone to him before I have about things she's lied about and through calmed discussions was I able to settle something. From devil, a demonic figure, faggot, my existence questioned and plenty of other things while residing there did he never wonder or even ask about my views, especially when it's against a woman of God. Her tolerance level was just. .my war, and that was that. 

 

Other members of the family knew about this, but always was I told how he'd been stuck in the middle and didn't know what to do. Conversation after the next was I hit with an excuse about what he could and couldn't do. Why allow this within your home and you're aware of this division? God isn't making any differences if years later we're still not seeing eye to eye. Are you that deluded? I suppose so. As a matter of fact, to this day before I concluded myself that it's best she and I never speak to one another again, there was only peace between us both because over time did I become a rarity around them be it church or generally seeing them at all. The love only began to spread so far and while quickly was it noticeable and I explained this to him, nothing has been done. I spoke about her children having the red carpet treatment, how I was never called up to have dinner with them until last year for the first time when I returned to church temporarily and after growing tired of being watched when I came upstairs to get food out of the fridge did I start to buy my own foods. When these occurrences were mentioned, he gave me no real answers but 'it's between you and the Lord'. When I had my first seizure and was hospitalized due to lack of knowledge was my mother told after texting him 'i'll pray for him'. You question constantly where he is before and after certain things take place. Anything that involves potential division, natural disasters; something to actually prove that he's making that true difference in mending what issues are before us--especially those who've given up so much for him from their lives to nearly everything that define rags to riches. Throughout my life did I duel with falsities and once I grew did I finally see for myself what i've been given. Examples are things like this.

 

He told me that it was between the Lord and I because of my newfound decision of no longer wanting much to do with his wife now.

 

Around Ben Affleck's Daredevil release, within the household was I unable to call him such but instead, as demanded to call him 'DD'.

 

We shouldn't need counseling at all if whom we've been told to follow actually exists. In fact, why is it a suggestion?
 
The antagonist Godspeed from The Flash became a problem with his name seen or even uttered once I introduced him.

 

My ex and I spilt, remembering what I told myself constantly on why now that it's in mind can easily be seen as ridiculous. From then onto finally awakening was it believed that due to her disbelief in God turned out to be why things didn't last versus mine. Even my father agreed and that he'd provide me with better because of such beliefs.

 

So for now we'll turn back the pendulum and hit 2015 since it gives me a clearer vision as to why i've taken this permanent dive. Aspirations to become an electrician grew since I'd been 23 and after my acceptance into a pre-apprenticeship program did I quit my job working for a furniture company. It was completed and I recieved my certificate of completion so from there onward was I indeed ready to make things right. But in terms of health were things taking that massive turn. Attending church my entire life was a thought to always take in the term 'purpose' and his plans alongside the prophesies given to me that i'll make it to the end, that prayer changes things, to seek his kingdom and never look back so of course from then to now was it registered. But was it sensible? With that being said were my beliefs still my strength and with every stipend received were my tithes given under the obvious as i'm sure you all know. From a young age was it encouraged to give like so and I hadn't really gotten serious with it until 2012 when I was working in one of the worst fields in my opinion: retail. With time however, were things growing darker with my health from blackouts as I called them at the time not knowing until later 2016 that these were instead seizures as they worsened. Constantly was I told after my electrical testings and during my studies that with prayer it'll only get better and with my fervent giving was it a definite for me since he meets the desires of our hearts and worrying would only stress my field of play from the clear side of my family being my father's of course. So my impressions rose that eventually with progression would I be not only healed, but it won't serve as a stoppage throughout my life unless I deemed it so and with him beside me did that appear impossible. After all, he's my rock or so I believed until 2016's happenings.

 

After completing my courses did I contact a friend to let her know since she'd had me set up to kickstart my career path through her husband who worked for an awesome steel plant. To further pursue his interests did he end up leaving but with quite a few people he'd gotten along with including the head of Human Resources could I get in for sure. Very much was it appreciated and to this day am I still thankful for both reaching out to assist me just after I thoughts about my searches. Still battling with my randomized seizures did I attend the interview when it came to my entry, but I never addressed them about it too much since I felt that the Lord was with me. My HR head was aware, but on instance did I make it in and how amazing it'd been once I saw the opportunities to come. When it came to any path that involves your career will your strengths only better themselves. People being people won't shake you, the constant gossiping about you could you careless about and so on. Primarily, your objective is to make your presence known and bring it. Starting off was I learning about Laser Welding until I approached the foreman of Maintenance and discussed the aptitude test given for those interested in going forward. Mutually was the agreement finalized. Still were thoughts of the Lord in mind from tithing every two weeks, waking every morning on my ways to work did I thank him as well. The strong impression and knowledge of it being him did I realize how things turned out. It just had to be God. I felt it. 

 

On two occasions because of these seizures was I in two car accidents with one on my way to work and to even my amazement to this day did I come out of both unscathed. While working also did they appear but never was I sent home to my relief. I only called in once due to what the accident resulted in. I couldn't make it that day and it was understood clearly although my concern was still getting there but yet, I still believed. My mother who like myself couldn't see me fall brought me to work and picked me up temporarily since she also knew that I was in the process of trying to figure this all out. Also aside from that was I in the process of purchasing a home literally right across the street from my job. After an appointment was scheduled did I see the home once my father brought me up there that weekend. Beautiful was it and already were modifications envisioned on what I saw myself doing. I even had a pet Husky awaiting me once things with the house were stable. Just conversations with my father was I assured that the Lord is only bringing this calling to life, that he's well aware of my spirit, what i'm hungry for, and how it'll only get better for me. Well, until March. My boss brought me into his office before my shift ended and told me that my services were no longer needed. He even thought for the longest and asked if something was mentally wrong with me. With every fiber did I try and convince him otherwise, I even offered to bring in notes referring to such once things were in place. It didn't fly. I asked for ways to remain, it didn't fly. I spoke with the head of HR, and to my surprise was their nothing I could do.

 

In the lunchroom did I sit there, but I still had a belief that the Lord would make a difference. That this had to be temporary, that I wouldn't settle for this and he knew it. Because he knows where we stand, all of us as men and women, of course he knew that we wouldn't settle for just. .anything. For weeks were emails sent, calls made, and I was swept. I found out that my certificate regarding my electrical program was dismissed by them as well, so the maintenance foreman and I had to bring things to an end. From then on did my depression make itself known. My inability to continue on spanned for months. I didn't want to figure out why my seizures came, what the true diagnosis was because of my losses in one full combo. My home, my husky, my opportunities. I really thought it was him doing all of this for me due to my long devotions and sacrifices to him. I'm sure we all had these impressions toward him until now. Surprisingly throughout my depressive state have I lacked suicidal thoughts which i'm happy for but very much have I given up on certain things. Like a grand majority of testimonies that i've read have I too, become introverted amongst many. When I called my father and spoke to family members about my losses was I told that I needed to get over it and that this was done to get my attention. That he took it away because i'd grow too comfortable and possibly forget about him, as well as these two accidents used as a means to remind me of such. That he indeed saved me. Now, in the process of my de-conversion have I thought about them and how I came out of both without breaks and scratches. Also am I still here. As I read however am I seeing that like all natural disasters do they occur and not at all is it a deity who snaps a finger to change everything though if my inaccuracy is there, it's awaited that an explanation is given from he, or someone else. In fact is it deserved.

 

From then on am I seeing a doctor about my epilepsy diagnosis and still without answers, but i'm also working. .in retail again which, also is what my father is doing. If it weren't for him would I not have what i'm doing so it's appreciated but compared to what I had last year, i'm lucky to scratch the surface of two hundred bucks. I'm back to doing what was done while working for the previous furniture company in terms of positioning and how pathetic the hourly pay is in comparison makes you further question these 'Godly works' all the more with like usual, no answers still. No longer can I envision the electrical field and while supposedly talking with him about what I see during my episodes of depression and how i've deemed this terrible job my career have I expected this divine intervention in hopes that a sudden change comes for me and that after all was it truly a test. I hear and see nothing as of 2017. Currently am I living with my mother and unable to really settle on my own, and throughout am I asking the Lord why. Tiresome does it grow so I decided to really talk with him yesterday while working one last time. After getting off was it not enough and during my walk about the complex did I resume this final talk with him. What I didn't know was that it rained. But when you've awaited an ultimatum. .something from him, who gives a damn at this point.

 

'who am I now?' is what i've asked on a constant. We shouldn't have to dig for what should be presented once those trials are brought down upon us and we're warring either with ourselves or even the world as a whole. When I arrived here around last year, before signing up for the first time did I see millions of comments and testimonies brought to the table regarding their journey toward realization in seeing the delusion many have once fallen prey to and we've escaped. I also had a personalized talk with him while at home before my de-conversion and told God about many around this world ripping him limb from limb verbally just because of his simple inability to make differences in their lives. To show himself in reassuring the confused in many, many ways than one. To unveil such mysteries; anything to break these chains so that a chance to return would be with us all. But amidst it all did I see zero results, as you all have seen. Recently after my process of escaping these delusions did I have to apologize to my mother about what i've kept hidden for years. During her moment of mental illness was it not only relatable in terms of what I had to undergo in believing these falsities, but through years of my teachings did I position what, as Darrel Ray called it, the virus onto supporting what my father supposedly went through as she chastised him from a verbal note concerning money, him as a person and so on. His responses, commonly were talks of God not liking ugly and should she continue with her ignorant gossiping she'd have to go through his wrath and even possibly, lose her mind again. And under the influence of these beliefs was I in similarity to Harry Potter's Hedwig, warning her about such and said that God was the initial reasons behind what she's gone through. Idiotic right? I know.

 

The simplicity of these answers given after speaking to family members such as giving myself to him and so on, you realize that you've returned to that loop of guilt and it's only worsened while speaking with them. In fact, in Darrel Ray's book he said it best. It's literally neverending. You have to conquer. .you. I'm going to cut this short since I'm aware that i've said quite a bit but. .years of frustration can do this and I can finally say that at the age of 27, i've grasped the true concept of reality. There isn't a God and after my last conversation with him, something should have flourished. In terms of scripture, my primary motivation during my days of believing turned out to only be one and that's second Timothy 2:12 in "If you suffer with him, you'll reign with him". To know that always it's been myself, where to start is still in question but someday will it be grasped. I'm happy to have found people who understand like myself and hope to grow in comfort with you all. Thank you for reading my entry into a new Flashpoint Paradox. It was meant to be.

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

I think you should change your name to yoda ?.  But welcome to ExChristian.net. this is a good place to be. 

[Geezer]

Welcome, that was quite a story. Growing up is never easy, but you've had more than your share of issues to deal with. 

[DarkFlash]

Yoda? Interesting and thank you for the welcome guys. It's always been time for me to go, I just needed that personalized wake up call. It's funny how you undergo that free state of mind once you've de-converted and now see how deluded those around you are.

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

Yeah i said that because of the way you worded a lot of your sentences in the original post. They were very yoda'ish. I like star wars and it just reminded me of him.

[DarkFlash]

As do I, DarkBishop. Even that with time grew to be a problem since only certain things could be watched throughout my childhood, such as Pokemon at one point. Since then have various books been enlightening on so much shown that i've refused to gather. I'd assume that you saw the recent episode between Maul and Obi Wan then, yes?

[FoundationOfUnity]

Hi Dark Fish. Enjoyed your story in the sense that it expresses your unseen self and circumstances. Welcome, always. What is the number one and two things that would help you most right now? 

[DarkFlash]

Haha, DarkFish. I suppose we could go with that. While speaking with my mother who also happens to be a believer though not as leveled as my father, she brought up her moment of homelessness today and i'm noticing that once you've awakened to really see a fallacy for what it is, such as religion and everyone's strong beliefs on probably one of the most naive in this world, you're also able to further explore another's situations without much effort anymore. Whereas prayer was the first thing in mind, your thought process is more open to see what excuses have been made. The conversation spanned actually which resulted in her not being able to say much when the common questions came through like 'who woke me up this morning' and 'who saved you from those two car accidents' and 'if it wasn't for the Lord I wouldn't have gotten my mind back or better yet, as much as I did pray for betterment did it come'. She lived in her car at one point, now leaving me wondering and eventually asking her questions that she really could not answer such as why it happened in the first place, that if the Lord spoke to her as she claimed what did he sound like? Were your sins self explained? How did every prayer work when it's already been spoken and proven that all of these occurrences are simply coincidental? Any situation similar to this was preventable. The medicines as much as you claim prayer made the ultimate difference is truly where the credit counts, but forever will you contest that because of, well, your ignorance. I love my mother, but in seeing these delusions can be saddening. Before I carry on did I see a homeless man living in his car after walking out of the gas station today asking me for change. I couldn't give him any unfortunately though I did look upward and tell myself 'I don't think such words would be uttered if prayer changed things'. In fact, there wouldn't be an Ex-Christian.net if there was a God.

While going through my process in seeing about my epilepsy some days ago, the questions were still very much fluent throughout my mind. On a constant did I further finalize my own answers that i'd ask on many occasion growing up on amputees, natural disasters and how selfish I came off to be when I told others about my survival and so on as a means of actually believing that it was indeed him. But. .if that were the case everyone, why is it that I had a chance to tell my story or stories when i'm sure that there were people who believed like us if not more. .and they don't have a chance? Commonly since before even my birth, is that backwards. You see the fierce term of religion thrown about, but with a wide-ranging notice from those like you and I do you also see the additives placed on their differences. How sex is combatted and also used to reel non-believers in for only building resulted confusion and possible fears, guilt, and shame, the instant belief of us going to hell, why we've survived like so, etc when they've allowed ignorance to cloud them so much that you can't help but view it as extremely laughable. This goes back to what the elder told me as I stated in my intro topic post. "Sometimes the Lord does things that make no sense". To counter that in all honesty keeps him, like usual, in question and i've learned that with a firm believer such as my father and his side of the family is the ongoing banter meaningless. In fact, what i've said pertaining to this fallacious trip to hell would be undeserving since like them do we not only deserve answers? But we deserve what is granted to us. You see how similar their situations are to that of ours and even that too, is laughable. Prophesy is spammed time and time again about our goals coming to life, those prayers being met, everything. But dare I ask; the prophet whom I know within my father's church. .as much as he's done in terms of heavenly contribution, why is he currently recovering from a stroke? Prayer has been the ultimate topic on his recovery, everything related to their choice of religion and yet, you have those like myself still wondering. In fact, again. Why did it happen in the first place. You'll hear things like 'The Lord brought knowledge to those doctors in calming his pains, mobility, efforts to do nearly everything' or that 'it was in his plan'. The nonsense. Simply put on that.

Before signing up here and allowing the devil to 'consume me' did I also read a few testimonies regarding God and just all the more was I making entry with questions never answered. What brought me here the most was after I read DarkBishop's and the piece about his own son talking with him about the bible with points proven that a shred of proof, i'm sure would have been all he needed before that even came out openly to his own father. All of us desire things like this since, as I said before is it well deserved. Also did I catch wind of Margee's topic based on forgiveness but after reading that as well did I ask why those like us who once believed even had fears when if anything he could be giving us that welcome to further prove his presence to us. Not use others to keep us within the loop when clearly they're just as deluded. To conceal himself like so is a great excuse to me because during the 'Bible days' was it said and made otherwise. The ten commandments written on the tablet, the Red Sea's parting, Jesus appearing as himself, Elijah's disappearance upward to heaven inside of a tornado, the list goes on. If he had absolutely no qualms with doing so then, where is he now? So to answer that FoundationofUnity is pretty much what i'm sure you all are awaiting. A shred of proof. But until then also, like you all will I continue to live and see for myself that he never existed otherwise many changes would be made.  We want signs, yes, but hitting our knees as I see for myself now, is also meaningless.
 

[AlienGoddess]

 

Haha, DarkFish. I suppose we could go with that. While speaking with my mother who also happens to be a believer though not as leveled as my father, she brought up her moment of homelessness today and i'm noticing that once you've awakened to really see a fallacy for what it is, such as religion and everyone's strong beliefs on probably one of the most naive in this world, you're also able to further explore another's situations without much effort anymore. Whereas prayer was the first thing in mind, your thought process is more open to see what excuses have been made. The conversation spanned actually which resulted in her not being able to say much when the common questions came through like 'who woke me up this morning' and 'who saved you from those two car accidents' and 'if it wasn't for the Lord I wouldn't have gotten my mind back or better yet, as much as I did pray for betterment did it come'. She lived in her car at one point, now leaving me wondering and eventually asking her questions that she really could not answer such as why it happened in the first place, that if the Lord spoke to her as she claimed what did he sound like? Were your sins self explained? How did every prayer work when it's already been spoken and proven that all of these occurrences are simply coincidental? Any situation similar to this was preventable. The medicines as much as you claim prayer made the ultimate difference is truly where the credit counts, but forever will you contest that because of, well, your ignorance. I love my mother, but in seeing these delusions can be saddening. Before I carry on did I see a homeless man living in his car after walking out of the gas station today asking me for change. I couldn't give him any unfortunately though I did look upward and tell myself 'I don't think such words would be uttered if prayer changed things'. In fact, there wouldn't be an Ex-Christian.net if there was a God.

While going through my process in seeing about my epilepsy some days ago, the questions were still very much fluent throughout my mind. On a constant did I further finalize my own answers that i'd ask on many occasion growing up on amputees, natural disasters and how selfish I came off to be when I told others about my survival and so on as a means of actually believing that it was indeed him. But. .if that were the case everyone, why is it that I had a chance to tell my story or stories when i'm sure that there were people who believed like us if not more. .and they don't have a chance? Commonly since before even my birth, is that backwards. You see the fierce term of religion thrown about, but with a wide-ranging notice from those like you and I do you also see the additives placed on their differences. How sex is combatted and also used to reel non-believers in for only building resulted confusion and possible fears, guilt, and shame, the instant belief of us going to hell, why we've survived like so, etc when they've allowed ignorance to cloud them so much that you can't help but view it as extremely laughable. This goes back to what the elder told me as I stated in my intro topic post. "Sometimes the Lord does things that make no sense". To counter that in all honesty keeps him, like usual, in question and i've learned that with a firm believer such as my father and his side of the family is the ongoing banter meaningless. In fact, what i've said pertaining to this fallacious trip to hell would be undeserving since like them do we not only deserve answers? But we deserve what is granted to us. You see how similar their situations are to that of ours and even that too, is laughable. Prophesy is spammed time and time again about our goals coming to life, those prayers being met, everything. But dare I ask; the prophet whom I know within my father's church. .as much as he's done in terms of heavenly contribution, why is he currently recovering from a stroke? Prayer has been the ultimate topic on his recovery, everything related to their choice of religion and yet, you have those like myself still wondering. In fact, again. Why did it happen in the first place. You'll hear things like 'The Lord brought knowledge to those doctors in calming his pains, mobility, efforts to do nearly everything' or that 'it was in his plan'. The nonsense. Simply put on that.

Before signing up here and allowing the devil to 'consume me' did I also read a few testimonies regarding God and just all the more was I making entry with questions never answered. What brought me here the most was after I read DarkBishop's and the piece about his own son talking with him about the bible with points proven that a shred of proof, i'm sure would have been all he needed before that even came out openly to his own father. All of us desire things like this since, as I said before is it well deserved. Also did I catch wind of Margee's topic based on forgiveness but after reading that as well did I ask why those like us who once believed even had fears when if anything he could be giving us that welcome to further prove his presence to us. Not use others to keep us within the loop when clearly they're just as deluded. To conceal himself like so is a great excuse to me because during the 'Bible days' was it said and made otherwise. The ten commandments written on the tablet, the Red Sea's parting, Jesus appearing as himself, Elijah's disappearance upward to heaven inside of a tornado, the list goes on. If he had absolutely no qualms with doing so then, where is he now? So to answer that FoundationofUnity is pretty much what i'm sure you all are awaiting. A shred of proof. But until then also, like you all will I continue to live and see for myself that he never existed otherwise many changes would be made.  We want signs, yes, but hitting our knees as I see for myself now, is also meaningless.
 

Red sea's parting stories just as ridiculous as splitting a moon in Koran and Hadith from the moslems. It was a just cheap magic tricks used by the magicians. It was so obvious now and believer accept it as the facts just because they want to believe.

[DarkFlash]

To not agree with this would be stupidity on my end. It's ridiculous really and now seeing where I once came from brings a more laughable approach to it; especially seeing for myself now that for years have they mistranslated their own bibles. To be presented with complete gibberish and knowing that even they haven't a clue what their saying brings out a scene of me wondering as well if. .after years of doing this whether or not they really know themselves at this point? It seems that holding ransom to a sandwich is all they have while in ignorance also is it believed strongly that an afterlife exists.