I Procrastinated

[BroTom]

Hello

Been lurking here for a month and signed up a few days ago.  I started off with a heavy childhood indoctrination into Catholicism.  In college I wavered about my faith and then  I ended up spending a few years in a fundamentalist Pentecostal church.  I abandoned the faith altogether (I thought!) about thirty years ago and went about with my life.  I retired recently, and since an idle mind is the devil's workshop (sorry, couldn't resist that) I realize now that even though I stopped believing long ago, the feeling that god hates me and I'm headed for hell, has ever since been shallow under the surface in my mind.  I can see how it has affected me all these years even when I hadn't been explicitly thinking about it.  Back then I never thoroughly performed the work of deconversion (undoctrination?) that I see going on here.  I'm glad I found this place and I appreciate you all.  You've helped me immeasurably already.  Thanks.

Tom

[Geezer]

Welcome Tom. De-Conversion is definitely a process. In my case I found that studing & researching the origins & evolution of both the Bible & Christianity was enormously helpful. Lots of good scholars & books out there that many find helpful. Christianity is just one of many theological mythologies. Hell is no more real than heaven. Once a person can accept that truth God & Hell stop being scary. 

 

Glad ad you found us. 

[BroTom]

Thanks Geezer, from one to another.  I had always taken it as given that Jesus existed and the only controversy was whether or not he was the son of god.  Learning recently that historically, the unique individual Jesus perhaps didn't exist at all started the ball rolling toward my updated deconversion.  Along with the realization that a lot of Christianity is a rehash of earlier Egyptian  and other religious beliefs and mythology.  After being here a while I see a new wealth of science, philosophy, history and archeology that needs to be looked into.  And I have lots of time to do that now!

Tom

[TABA]

Hi Tom!  It's always a pleasure to welcome a new member, but your introduction made my day, to be honest!  Your story really resonated with me because it highlighted the importance of moving through and in some sense completing the deconversion process.  This is something I have experienced here myself, and it has made a very big difference to me. So I'm delighted to see somebody else gaining a similar feeling of confidence and comfort.  This community is a wonderful thing, and I hope it will continue to be of value to you.  I hope you stay active.  Not only is it great to fellowship with other apostates, and to gain from the great reservoir of knowledge and experience that is here, but it's very important to encourage the new arrivals, those who are taking the first steps in the deconversion process and who really need the support of those of us who are further along.  

 

Although I'm at least a decade away from retirement, we have some things in common.  I too had the Catholic childhood indoctrination, and I too drifted away from religion as a young man, only to join a fundamentalist church a few years later.  Unlike you though I stayed as a Christian, albeit a lukewarm one, for a couple of decades.  I suppressed my doubts, but once I started listening to them around the age of 50, it all collapsed rather quickly.  I registered here in 2014 but only introduced myself early last year.  I have gained so much from being here!  I honestly am now more comfortable and confident in my rejection of Christianity and theism than I ever was as a believer.  So you can see why your experience has struck a chord with me.  I think we can both agree: Better Late Than Never!

 

All the Best to ya,

TABA

[BroTom]

Thanks, TABA

Tom

[Geezer]

3 hours ago, BroTom said:

Thanks Geezer, from one to another.  I had always taken it as given that Jesus existed and the only controversy was whether or not he was the son of god.  Learning recently that historically, the unique individual Jesus perhaps didn't exist at all started the ball rolling toward my updated deconversion.  Along with the realization that a lot of Christianity is a rehash of earlier Egyptian  and other religious beliefs and mythology.  After being here a while I see a new wealth of science, philosophy, history and archeology that needs to be looked into.  And I have lots of time to do that now!

Tom

 

Dr. Robert M. Price is a scholar I recommend if you are interesting in exploring the evidence that there never was a historical Jesus. He has authored 2 books you might find interesting. The Incredible Shrinking Son of Man and The Christ Myth Theory and it's Problems. The Human Bible NT is also a good read.

[BroTom]

Thanks, I'll check it out.

[sdelsolray]

10 hours ago, BroTom said:

Hello

Been lurking here for a month and signed up a few days ago.  I started off with a heavy childhood indoctrination into Catholicism.  In college I wavered about my faith and then  I ended up spending a few years in a fundamentalist Pentecostal church.  I abandoned the faith altogether (I thought!) about thirty years ago and went about with my life.  I retired recently, and since an idle mind is the devil's workshop (sorry, couldn't resist that) I realize now that even though I stopped believing long ago, the feeling that god hates me and I'm headed for hell, has ever since been shallow under the surface in my mind.  I can see how it has affected me all these years even when I hadn't been explicitly thinking about it.  Back then I never thoroughly performed the work of deconversion (undoctrination?) that I see going on here.  I'm glad I found this place and I appreciate you all.  You've helped me immeasurably already.  Thanks.

Tom

 

When I was a child there was this superstition/game/meme I learned from other children in the neighborhood called, "Don't step on the crack or you'll break you mother's back!"  It dealt with walking on sidewalks put down as part of the overall construction of the town I lived in at the time.  You weren't supposed to step on the lines the concrete workers placed every few feet between the continuous concrete slabs they laid down to made the long sidewalk.  I didn't invent this meme myself, it was given to me by others.  I actually believed it was true when I was first exposed to it, mostly because the kids that told be about it were older than me.  Later (not much later), I rejected the meme as nonsense.  Still, I occasionally remember the actual event when I first was infected with this meme, remembering how I truly believed it.

 

Religious indoctrination is quite similar, although it is more intense, is peddled by adults and often is accompanied by punishment for questioning the meme.  All that, and add the continual peer pressure from those infected with it who surround you.

 

Neverthless, despite the different intensity between being infected by a child's meme about cracks in sidewalks and being infected with memes (in the plural) peddled by numerous trusted adults, all calculated and designed to indoctrinate the child about a certain religious dogma, the overall technique and experience is the same.

[LogicalFallacy]

Welcome Tom, glad you found us.

 

LF

[BroTom]

9 hours ago, sdelsolray said:

 

When I was a child there was this superstition/game/meme I learned from other children in the neighborhood called, "Don't step on the crack or you'll break you mother's back!"  It dealt with walking on sidewalks put down as part of the overall construction of the town I lived in at the time.  You weren't supposed to step on the lines the concrete workers placed every few feet between the continuous concrete slabs they laid down to made the long sidewalk.  I didn't invent this meme myself, it was given to me by others.  I actually believed it was true when I was first exposed to it, mostly because the kids that told be about it were older than me.  Later (not much later), I rejected the meme as nonsense.  Still, I occasionally remember the actual event when I first was infected with this meme, remembering how I truly believed it.

 

Religious indoctrination is quite similar, although it is more intense, is peddled by adults and often is accompanied by punishment for questioning the meme.  All that, and add the continual peer pressure from those infected with it who surround you.

 

Neverthless, despite the different intensity between being infected by a child's meme about cracks in sidewalks and being infected with memes (in the plural) peddled by numerous trusted adults, all calculated and designed to indoctrinate the child about a certain religious dogma, the overall technique and experience is the same.

 

Thanks for the comments.  Reminds me of an old Far Side cartoon of old women sitting around in wheel chairs in the rest home for mothers whose children stepped on the cracks.  You know, to this day I still automatically step over the cracks.

Tom

[BroTom]

4 minutes ago, LogicalFallacy said:

Welcome Tom, glad you found us.

 

LF

 

Thanks, LF.  It's great to be here

Tom

[♦ ficino ♦]

Hi Tom, welcome. I know what you mean! I ditched Christianity (Catholicism but had been a Protestant fundy before that) because it pretty clearly did not work. Later, when I was in my mid-life crisis - maybe only 20 years later, lol - I started to think, holy fuck, what if I'm wrong and I'm going to hell? i got drawn here and started to realize how badly evidenced and formulated Christianity is, when you look under the surface and stop settling for "it's a Mystery" kind of replies. 

 

The non-religious channel on Patheos has a lot of good blogs. And there is much else out there. 

[BroTom]

Thanks, ficino

I always like reading what you have to say.

Tom

[BroTom]

PS to sdelsolray about indoctrination

I once taught a 2nd grade Sunday School class a lesson about the widow's mite.  By the end of the class, I was able to get everyone to agree that the widow actually contributed more than the big shots.  I could tell that they really didn't get it though, at that age.  This was an early seed of doubt for me.  Not about what I believe, but about getting young children to agree with me because I was the authority figure.

Tom

[Bedouin]

Welcome to Ex-C Tom.  My own experience is that since I finally have gotten to a place where "god" is no longer a viable possibility, I feel freer than at any other time in my life.  Not, as Christians would say, free to just do any old thing I want, revel in "sin" and/or immorality, but free to just BE.  To just be the best person I can, the best friend that I can, the best father and grandfather that I can be.  I no longer think that I have to constantly apologize, over and over and over again, for being human.  Do I make mistakes?  Of course!  But I don't believe that my mistakes determine where I go to after I die.  That is an incredibly freeing feeling!  Again, welcome, and I look forward to hearing about your continuing journey.

[BroTom]

Thanks Bedouin.  I love your approach to life. And now I have a new understanding of your name:  Be doin'  

Tom

 

[DarkFlash]

Welcome BroTom. Like you did I wander throughout this forum with uncertainties on whether or not this turned out to be the right decision. .but with time was I able to grasp many concepts once life really began to really make itself known to me from wonders to seeing their sense of reasoning from a non-believer's point of view. Over and over again did I put time into their opinions and also read on various debates in other forums as it all started to come together and in similarity to Bedouin do I also feel that sense of a broadened mind though also like you were those fears very much existent from not tithing to slowly losing those beliefs in him, etc. In fact, I was asked recently why I stopped tithing but I told myself that it'd be pointless to verbally square off against the deluded after years of them truly falling prey to literal storytelling. Why duel with the forever ignorant y'know? To sit amongst many questioning what held true for so long answers the meaning of your values in life. It's great to see you.

[BroTom]

Thanks, DarkFlash, and welcome to you too.

Tom

[Aethelred]

On 4/9/2017 at 5:17 AM, BroTom said:

 

 You know, to this day I still automatically step over the cracks.

Tom

 

Really? I make darned sure to step on every crack.

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

Welcome Bro Tom,

      Glad to have you here at ex-c. There is a lot of good Info to help you de-program your mind here. Just keep reading and asking questions. Knowledge is power ?.

 

DB

[BroTom]

Thanks, DarkBishop

[Riversong]

On 4/9/2017 at 4:35 PM, Bedouin said:

Welcome to Ex-C Tom.  My own experience is that since I finally have gotten to a place where "god" is no longer a viable possibility, I feel freer than at any other time in my life.  Not, as Christians would say, free to just do any old thing I want, revel in "sin" and/or immorality, but free to just BE.  To just be the best person I can, the best friend that I can, the best father and grandfather that I can be.  I no longer think that I have to constantly apologize, over and over and over again, for being human.  Do I make mistakes?  Of course!  But I don't believe that my mistakes determine where I go to after I die.  That is an incredibly freeing feeling!  Again, welcome, and I look forward to hearing about your continuing journey.

Love this!  

 

Welcome, BroTom!  

[AlienGoddess]

 

Welcome Tom. De-Conversion is definitely a process. In my case I found that studing & researching the origins & evolution of both the Bible & Christianity was enormously helpful. Lots of good scholars & books out there that many find helpful. Christianity is just one of many theological mythologies. Hell is no more real than heaven. Once a person can accept that truth God & Hell stop being scary. 

 

Glad ad you found us. 

Yes, it was true. They didn't notice ancient religion and mythology contain many unrealistic heaven and hell. It feel real to you just because you believe in it and little did you know, the heaven and hell in Islam and Christian just as real as Greek Field of Punishment,Tartarus,Chinese folklore underworld with Meng Po soup,Egyptian hell,norse hell and other 13 levels of hell which you could be punished by simply small and petty mistakes we human commit in daily life.