Jealousy Toward Christianity

[skysoar15]

Scrolling through my Facebook, I'm reminded of the strong convictions that my friends/acquaintances have in Jesus.

I am also watching a Bill Nye video on another tab. 

 

Part of me has an intense jealousy at Christians' strong and steady belief in spite of the evidence against it.

It almost makes me question myself. "Just what are they holding onto? They must realize they sound like a bunch of idiots."

Therefore, it makes me almost want to return back to their ways. Surely, if they are willing to cling onto something in spite of everything against it...that must be true faith.

I'm reminded of a Bible verse that talks specifically about the world looking at Christians like fools. 

 

However, it also just makes me angry.

Sometimes I flip flop between believing God is real and of course, treating him like he doesn't exist.

Every time I hear worship music in the car, it triggers an immediate response to start singing to it. 

I caught myself earlier actually mouthing off the words of the song just out of habit. 

 

Brainwashed or not, these Christian rock bands believe in what they're singing. 

Bands like Hillsong aren't just spewing out stuff for the heck of it.

The amount of sheer passion that these bands bring to their music is awe inspiring...and just a little intimidating. 

 

I know that I shouldn't be jealous of anything that somehow reconciles all this evidence with God's existence.

But I am still very much in awe of how much these people believe in the face of it and just a little afraid that the Big Guy may actually exist.

 

As a Christian, I used to believe that we (Christians) were in the minority.

I believed there was a real difference between nominal Christianity and the real deal stuff that 'we' did.

We weren't just revolving door Christians.

 

But now I truly see that Atheists/Agnostics are the real minority. 

It looks like a lonely world for us. 

I'm thankful for this website and that there 'are' others like me. 

But man, Christianity just RULES the Deep South. 

[nutrichuckles93]

Just because they aren't lying about what they are saying doesn't mean they are telling the truth.

 

First thing I'd recommend: stop listening to worship music. It's specifically designed to pull you into "God's presence." Most manipulative shit on Earth.

[Geezer]

They believe it because they've been deeply indoctrinated. They have lost the ability to think critically. 

[RaLeah]

You're totally right about jealousy for the certainty and passion. But it's hard to be jealous of all that energy focused toward something so totally fake... And ultimately empty. I remember Christians saying that atheists have empty lives. But now I think that Christians, underneath who are trying hard not to doubt, who block out their brains, they are denying how empty the lie they're living really is. Atheism is truth. It faces reality. It doesn't take comfort in the beautiful lies. It acknowledges facts and reality. 

 

I'm not jealous anymore, but I used to be. Mostly because I also was living in the south and yeah... They all buy in and so you feel like the outsider questioning your sanity. But that isn't how all the the country or the world is. You have to remember that. This site is here, there are great books out there, and there's lots of communities who support getting out and letting go. 

 

So... Hang in there. You aren't wrong to let go of illogical superstitions. You are right. A lot of people would rather keep embracing comforting lies than the cold hard truth. That's how humans have evolved, and that's how it is. We like to belong, to feel like a part of a community. But knowing that, you can set it aside and continue to evolve yourself and find new friends who understand who you are, where you've come from, and where you want to go. There really are a lot of us. Probably there are a lot right around you, but they aren't talking about it just to keep the peace with their own family and community. 

 

But don't despair. There are not just a lot of us, our numbers are growing every year. The internet truly is game changing for religion. Superstition can't hold up against science, and Google is right there to help you learn whatever you want to know. A few generations more, and maybe Christians will be in the minority. Don't laugh. It's true. They got to keep evolution out of text books and lie and make up a bunch of pseudo science bunk to "support" their young earth Christian views for a long time... But the Internet and scientific advances are really destroying that in every way. Carbon dating was all new and suspicious when I was in school (I'm 42) and they were like, "Who's to say that's really right??" But now we have DNA, huge advances in genetic testing, etc. and it's just not in dispute in the scientific community. 

 

And you know what's even more surprising? There are some progressive Christians who are just embracing evolution and science because they sort of have to if they're comprised of thinking people. Slowly slowly slowly truth wins out. As evidence mounts. It's too hard to deny in an Internet age for people who WANT to know the truth... It can't be suppressed anymore. They'll find it. 

 

And that is different from when I grew up. 

 

This is awesome and encouraging for our future. So please don't lose heart. You're ahead of your time, but the future will validate you, and the truth will always still be the truth. Hang on to that. It's so much better to live in reality than in a fantasy. Because living a fantasy means shoving down the part of your brain and integrity that knows better until it either dies or explodes. Live in the truth. It's a free life worth living. 

 

Hugs to you!

 

-RaLeah

[skysoar15]

17 minutes ago, nutrichuckles93 said:

Just because they aren't lying about what they are saying doesn't mean they are telling the truth.

 

First thing I'd recommend: stop listening to worship music. It's specifically designed to pull you into "God's presence." Most manipulative shit on Earth.

Trust me, I have stopped listening to it. 

It was one of the first things I realized I had to do.

 

But that doesn't mean that I'm going to tell my friends to stop listening to it in the car. Feel me?

[sdelsolray]

29 minutes ago, skysoar15 said:

Scrolling through my Facebook, I'm reminded of the strong convictions that my friends/acquaintances have in Jesus.

I am also watching a Bill Nye video on another tab. 

 

Part of me has an intense jealousy at Christians' strong and steady belief in spite of the evidence against it.

It almost makes me question myself. "Just what are they holding onto? They must realize they sound like a bunch of idiots."

Therefore, it makes me almost want to return back to their ways. Surely, if they are willing to cling onto something in spite of everything against it...that must be true faith.

I'm reminded of a Bible verse that talks specifically about the world looking at Christians like fools. 

 

However, it also just makes me angry.

Sometimes I flip flop between believing God is real and of course, treating him like he doesn't exist.

Every time I hear worship music in the car, it triggers an immediate response to start singing to it. 

I caught myself earlier actually mouthing off the words of the song just out of habit. 

 

Brainwashed or not, these Christian rock bands believe in what they're singing. 

Bands like Hillsong aren't just spewing out stuff for the heck of it.

The amount of sheer passion that these bands bring to their music is awe inspiring...and just a little intimidating. 

 

I know that I shouldn't be jealous of anything that somehow reconciles all this evidence with God's existence.

But I am still very much in awe of how much these people believe in the face of it and just a little afraid that the Big Guy may actually exist.

 

As a Christian, I used to believe that we (Christians) were in the minority.

I believed there was a real difference between nominal Christianity and the real deal stuff that 'we' did.

We weren't just revolving door Christians.

 

But now I truly see that Atheists/Agnostics are the real minority. 

It looks like a lonely world for us. 

I'm thankful for this website and that there 'are' others like me. 

But man, Christianity just RULES the Deep South. 

 

 

You demonstrate a codependency with others who have a certain set of religious beliefs.  Once, and if, you find, develop and clarify your own ideas and convictions about these issues, among others, that should diminish.  Nevertheless, in the meantime, those that are not infected with a religious virus, myself included, would say that codependency is not healthy.  Not healthy at all.

[nutrichuckles93]

Just now, skysoar15 said:

Trust me, I have stopped listening to it. 

It was one of the first things I realized I had to do.

 

But that doesn't mean that I'm going to tell my friends to stop listening to it in the car. Feel me?

Ah, I gotcha. I was wondering why you would intentionally torture yourself with that.

[skysoar15]

21 minutes ago, sdelsolray said:

 

 

You demonstrate a codependency with others who have a certain set of religious beliefs.  Once, and if, you find, develop and clarify your own ideas and convictions about these issues, among others, that should diminish.  Nevertheless, in the meantime, those that are not infected with a religious virus, myself included, would say that codependency is not healthy.  Not healthy at all.

You're not wrong. 

Trust me, I'm trying my hardest to become self-sufficient.

I get what you're saying. (I've recognized a pattern with your responses).

 

The church teaches you in a way to be codependent.

I dislike that I'm just now cracking down on driving. I will own up to poor personal choices in the past.

I should have fought for it earlier. Honestly. 

 

Now I'm relying on people who are fervent in Christianity to help me get from place to place. 

Once, I used to call myself a brother to them. "Brother in the faith."

 

There is not a ton I can do about it.

This is a town so small that buses can't take you to work, yet cabs cost about $15 a single trip. 

I walk when I can. I'll invest in a bike if I must. 

 

I'm learning the hard way that I've needed to be self-sufficient this whole time. 

But you're not telling me something that I don't know already. 

 

It does however, inspire me to keep driving more and more to eventually earn my license.

I can't blame codependency all on the church. I chose to remain co-dependent instead of taking initiative earlier.

My poor decisions have landed me here. 
I will continue to meditate on this every day while making stronger, more positive choices.

 

[Lilith666]

On ‎4‎/‎12‎/‎2017 at 10:42 PM, skysoar15 said:

Trust me, I have stopped listening to it. 

It was one of the first things I realized I had to do.

 

But that doesn't mean that I'm going to tell my friends to stop listening to it in the car. Feel me?

You might need to remove yourself from people who spread that influence until you've built up protection against it. And please be honest with yourself about how vulnerable you are, rather than exposing yourself to harm and pretending it's okay, just so you can spend time with certain friends. I know you're feeling a bit isolated right now, but remember that it will get better if you make it, and try to make friends who aren't so deeply into the cult. If you're in a very bible-centered area, you might want to focus on moving out of there. Your well-being is most important.

[LogicalFallacy]

On 4/13/2017 at 2:09 PM, skysoar15 said:

As a Christian, I used to believe that we (Christians) were in the minority.

I believed there was a real difference between nominal Christianity and the real deal stuff that 'we' did.

We weren't just revolving door Christians.

 

But now I truly see that Atheists/Agnostics are the real minority. 

It looks like a lonely world for us. 

I'm thankful for this website and that there 'are' others like me. 

But man, Christianity just RULES the Deep South. 

 

Sky this echos so much with me. I believed exactly the same... so when I left imagine my shock horror to find not only that the world wasn't full of atheists, but that atheists were the most untrusted minority in the world. Suddenly dreams of making new friends vanished as I realized that I was now on the outside... and alone. (Thank goodness for you folk here at Ex-C)

 

It is so funny worlds apart, you and I believed the same thing - that we were the persecuted true church (TM) and other 'liberal' churches were false, and the world was many. We were living a lie. Now we are free... but for the most part still alone. I felt alone in church because I lost my belief, and now I feel alone because everyone but me in my social circle believes. 

[Margee]

On 4/12/2017 at 11:34 PM, RaLeah said:

You are right. A lot of people would rather keep embracing comforting lies than the cold hard truth. That's how humans have evolved, and that's how it is. We like to belong, to feel like a part of a community.

 

 

Sky, I can totally relate to this rant. And RaLeah hit it on the nose for me. I will always miss believing in god. I am envious of people who still have faith in this broken world. They have a (false) hope... but still a 'hope'. And I also envy the gang on the board here that are now completely free and happy.

 

For me personally, I have just learned to live with it. Every now and again, I still ask god to make himself so real to me that I would come back... and it never happens. You would think that 'he' would be concerned for the 'lost child' and do something... but 'it' (he?) always stays quiet. Nothing that could make me believe again.

 

I am watching all my friends on facebook today with their, ''He is Risen' posts and how happy they are celebrating that jesus died to free us. I can't even respond to 'have a happy easter' because easter to me now is just another day of overeating chocolate. I wish I could be more of an inspiration. Maybe I shouldn't even be a moderator on this board but my aim is to always encourage people that you can make it without the christian god. You are asking  a genuine question as far as I am concerned and I am giving you my honest answer. I like fantasy. I liked it when I prayed and waited patiently for the answer. But now I know that it was me (or friends) that always gave me the answer to my prayers. I liked believing that an 'invisible best friend' was always there to protect me.

 

I am a very emotional person. I was always ashamed of that. But I'm not anymore. It's just who I am. I've tried so hard to not be an emotional person and it never works. I've practiced making my heart hard and it never lasts.  Believing in god was the most natural thing in the world for me. Not believing is un-natural for me. Many on the board are very happy to be non believers and they always give me strength to carry on. That's why I still belong to Ex-c. I don't have any non-believing friends. All my friends and family believe in 'something' that gives them hope. Cold, hard facts are hard on me. But I want you to know that you are not alone. I have read on this board that it can take years to let go of the religious virus.

 

Keep doing pleasurable things for yourself. Keep doing whatever it takes to be happy. That's what I try to do. I try very hard to make everyday as pleasurable as I can. I know the cold, hard facts but I still want to live a happy life. I always use my sister's death as an example. She's been gone 20 years and I still miss her as much as the day she died.  If I could bring her back I would wave my magic wand today and have her here with me because I loved her sooooo much. But I have got used to her not being here on earth with me and I try to still live a happy life. But I would definitely prefer for her to be here. I feel the same way about god. But I can't get either of them back so I better make a good life. I need to live a somewhat happy life for me. That's what I hope you will do. Create a happy life and for now, just accept that there is a bit of a hole in your heart. Acceptance is very freeing. When I accept how I really feel and don't lie to myself, I actually feel better.

 

This post may not be real encouraging but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. Take a deep breath and go do something really nice for yourself today. Eat a big big piece of chocolate and go for a nice walk. Enjoy the nice things that are available to us on earth.

 

(hug)

[Ellinas]

Margee, if you should not be a Moderator, there would be a rather difficult position; just judging from your posts, seems to me there are few, if any, better qualified.  Besides, a love of chocolate is the most important qualification for anything - including life itself.

 

Skysoar, it seems to me that you are very much caught in the trap of your own emotional responses to Christianity.  I suggest two approaches (actually inter-related):

1. Try to put the emotion aside and actually reason out the position.  "This music moves me but I know it's only because of the association that it has with the warm fuzzy feelings of the past; however, I know this is nonsense because..."
2. Realize how the religion seeks to hold you via emotionalism, and refocus that emotion.  You'll be surprised how easily the emotions turn to anger - which you can use to reinforce your independence from the belief system and those who would seek to hold you within it.

[nutrichuckles93]

I agree with Ellinas on #2. I find myself in that position. I get angry anytime I hear worship music or people speaking lovely about the Babble. In fact, it's kind of frightening how angry I get on the inside when I think about how it traps people. Like how it has trapped my wife, and how that saddens and frustrates me. So I would say it is okay to feel angry, but don't let it overcome you. I have to learn to temper it, even though I rarely outwardly express it (due to a lack of resources).

[skysoar15]

1 hour ago, Ellinas said:

Margee, if you should not be a Moderator, there would be a rather difficult position; just judging from your posts, seems to me there are few, if any, better qualified.  Besides, a love of chocolate is the most important qualification for anything - including life itself.

 

Skysoar, it seems to me that you are very much caught in the trap of your own emotional responses to Christianity.  I suggest two approaches (actually inter-related):

1. Try to put the emotion aside and actually reason out the position.  "This music moves me but I know it's only because of the association that it has with the warm fuzzy feelings of the past; however, I know this is nonsense because..."
2. Realize how the religion seeks to hold you via emotionalism, and refocus that emotion.  You'll be surprised how easily the emotions turn to anger - which you can use to reinforce your independence from the belief system and those who would seek to hold you within it.

 

#2 helps tremendously at the gym. All of that anger just surges through me like a hurricane. 

Feels good to let it all out.

[Lost]

On 13.04.2017 at 4:09 AM, skysoar15 said:

Part of me has an intense jealousy at Christians' strong and steady belief in spite of the evidence against it.

 

 

Yeah, I feel the same. Sometimes I wonder why once I was like this and why I can't believe anymore. They are somehow lucky that they believe so strongly without any torture inside.

 

5 hours ago, Margee said:

Believing in god was the most natural thing in the world for me. Not believing is un-natural for me.

Cold, hard facts are hard on me. 

 

 

I agree. In my case it was always so natural to believe in God (especially after my mum's death) and it was strange for me that someone doesn't believe or doesn't pay attention to a creator of the world.

[skysoar15]

33 minutes ago, Lost said:

 

Yeah, I feel the same. Sometimes I wonder why once I was like this and why I can't believe anymore. They are somehow lucky that they believe so strongly without any torture inside.

 

 

I agree. In my case it was always so natural to believe in God (especially after my mum's death) and it was strange for me that someone doesn't believe or doesn't pay attention to a creator of the world.

The thing that gets me is that many people calling themselves Christians aren't sure why they even believe.

 

These are the 'nominal' sort of Christians. They typically dont take the Bible completely literally and use church as more of a social platform. Or many times they just use church to feel better about themselves.

 

It seems that a lot of America is trapped either way. Either they are trapped in a shallow belief system handed down from tradition or are trapped in a messiah complex where the belief system ISN'T shallow, but the effects are still ill.

 

The problem with nominal Christianity is that children who are raised in it will either develop real questions and seek answers in the wrong places or will believe that God is some aloof being in the sky to please by going to church every Sunday.

 

Many people are turning to other forms of higher powers to find some fulfillment after being 'let down' by a faulty Christianity.

 

People, myself included, are just so afraid of not believing in something higher. 

 

There also seems to be romantic appeal to believing in a higher power. America is 'one nation under God,' for example. 

 

If people cut off the idea of God, then a great deal of majesty is seemingly lost within major traditions. 

 

It's interesting, because most people calling themselves Christians in America wouldnt be able to answer 'why they believe.'

[Lost]

31 minutes ago, skysoar15 said:

The thing that gets me is that many people calling themselves Christians aren't sure why they even believe.

 

These are the 'nominal' sort of Christians. They typically dont take the Bible completely literally and use church as more of a social platform. Or many times they just use church to feel better about themselves.

 

It seems that a lot of America is trapped either way. Either they are trapped in a shallow belief system handed down from tradition or are trapped in a messiah complex where the belief system ISN'T shallow, but the effects are still ill.

 

It's interesting, because most people calling themselves Christians in America wouldnt be able to answer 'why they believe.'

 

Definitely You are right.

 

I live in Poland since I was born and here people are crazy about Catholic traditions.

 

Johovah Witnesses and Protestants are kind of weirdos for people in my country. And some of them while curiosity are trapped into Bible believing groups.

 

I guess, nowadays especially in America people really have difficulties in many ways, because of Christianity.

 

Here where I live Atheists mostly fight with Catholic Church to get out from school religion classes.

 

In my case, I was in Catholic Church till age 16-17 and then went to Evangelical Church after reading all conspiracy theories and biblical prophecies on the Internet and I treated that as Lord's answer for my life and now I'm still in the closet, probably for 3 more years.

 

Hope skysoar15 that You will find true fulfillment and hope in Your life.

[skysoar15]

32 minutes ago, Lost said:

Hope skysoar15 that You will find true fulfillment and hope in Your life.

Same to you