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Goodbye Jesus

Joel Osteen's tweets - "god" replaced with "your dick"


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Posted

Saw this yesterday. It's hilarious. 

Posted

Truly inspirational. This makes so much more sense than Joel's typical preaching fare. My life is forever changed!

 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some 'magnifying' to do...:wicked:

  • Like 1
Posted

 

"Stop worrying about all of your problems. Just let go and let your dick lead you!"

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Posted

MAWHAHAHA

 

I'm snorting at work. Sorry gota go - crack up! Haha

Posted

Oh lmao that was to funny. Thanks for sharing xiana! 

 

I have one. I was watching him one time. He was telling people to open a bank account and prepare for God to fill it.

 

So open a bank account and prepare for your dick to fill it! Lmao!

 

DB

Posted

Too funny!!!!  This one cracked me up:

The odds may be against you, but your dick is for you. He is more powerful than any force that’s trying to stop you.

Posted
Quote

When your dick can trust you to be faithful in the ordinary, then He will take you into the extraordinary.

That'll be my personal favourite.

Posted

OMG, this made my day! LOL

Ya know, bible verses could use the same substitute:

Genesis 4:1

Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain.She said, “With the help of your dick I have brought forth a man.” Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.

Bwahahaha!

Posted

Bwahh! ^^^

Posted
On 5/3/2017 at 8:10 PM, Faithfulless said:

OMG, this made my day! LOL

Ya know, bible verses could use the same substitute:

Genesis 4:1

Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain.She said, “With the help of your dick I have brought forth a man.” Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.

Bwahahaha!

 

What if 'the Lord' was Eve's nickname for Adam's abnormally large package? 

Posted

Heres a joke:

What was the first thing Adam ever said to Eve????

 

Stand back baby.... I dont know how big this thing is gonna get!

  • Like 2
Posted
22 hours ago, SkepticsApprentice said:

 

What if 'the Lord' was Eve's nickname for Adam's abnormally large package? 

 

This changes everything!!! I may have to crack open my dusty old bible to read through with this new twist.

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