People who left church before You

[Lost]

Hello

 

Hope everyone is well  If not, I wish You lots of strength to go through rough times.

 

Recently I was wondering if You have ever thought deeply about people who left church during times when You were still a believer?

 

What were you thinking about brothers or sisters who all of the sudden left church, because of some reasons? What other people were telling You about this person?

 

How it influenced You? Was that your first step to critical thinking or deconversion or You were left confused, because of that and started praying for that particular person?

 

From the beginning of my journey with Evangelical Christianity I was a doubting believer and I began to have lots of mental breakdows because of that. I think like I'm the only one believer of all time that simply decided to go to church and stay there, because of emotions, attachement to God, lack of ability to say "NO" or lack of courage to express doubts. I wanted to resign and refused to be baptised in the water, but I was paralized and couldn't say that to elderly people in my church. I became a "true christian" without a REAL conviction. I spend almost 6 years in a Christian world without true faith. I don't know how it is possible that it happened to me...I don't know.

 

ANYWAY...I come back to my question.

 

What do You think about people who left church before You?

 

In my small church I heared some stories of people who simply stopped going to church, their spiritual life colapsed or they left church to live in a free relationship with someone, not neccessary a Christian. Here where I live, believers have usually emotional reasons to leave, rather than intellectual (including science and evolution). That's why if they are too sensitive they come back very quickly after "living in a world".

 

Some of them seem to be ok after leaving church, just living a normal, regular life, but others experienced issues with their own morality.

 

I know one thing, although time passed really fast people in my church still somehow talk about "people who left", pray for their coming back to Jesus, even talk with them on the phome or try to see them.

 

What about Your observations and experiences with this subject?

[♦ Fuego ♦]

Pretty much what you observed. "Hey, where's ___? She's living with a guy now...  Oh."  Another guy I spoke with said he simply didn't believe anymore, and frankly most folks were glad he left because he was always craving the center of attention. Others got involved in drugs and sex and generally made poor decisions, sometimes showing up again.

 

As believers, we didn't spend much time thinking about them. We'd pray and go on.

[Ellinas]

I can only think of a handful such examples about 20 years ago.

 

One left his wife and disappeared.  I never knew him that well and, apart from hearing disapproving sentiments of disbelief at his leaving, I never found out what had happened or where he went.  Haven't thought about him from that day to this.

 

The other was a husband of a woman who continued in the church and has recently (within the last 18 months) re-joined.  I was, if anything, more disappointed by his return than I was, at the time, by his leaving.  But, again, I don't really know what was behind either development.  I don't really like his other half, even on a purely personal level and therefore have kept well away and remained disinterested throughout.  I suppose I just had the reaction that was expected of me when he left - either a tragic backslider or an even more tragic "not-quite" believer who only joined because he fancied the Christian woman he married.  His return just tells me that she's won.

 

The only ones I knew well were a couple who left the particular church we attended, but have gone to another one so I can hardly say they "left the church".  I suspect they just found the atmosphere of the Brethren stifling and wanted something less rigid.  But again, not really spoken to them since they left.

 

I suppose I just thought that their leaving rendered them irrelevant - pretty much like any other Christian in that position, I suspect.

[★ Citsonga ★]

I didn't experience many people leaving the church, at least not out of people that I knew. There was one couple who started coming and after a while the husband slacked off. I took it that he wasn't all that interested in church. I didn't see him as some terrible person, but as someone who was simply misguided and hadn't opened himself up to God.

 

As far as the concept of people leaving, I was convinced that anyone giving up on the faith had not been regenerated by the Holy Spirit and therefore had not been a True Christian^TM, so it's a bit ironic that I'm now an ex-christian.

 

[Daffodil]

The only one I know of was a mom of five kids, married to a farmer.  She was getting her master's degree and word got round that she had lost her faith.  Then I heard that half the kids (who ranged in age from elementary school to high school) had sided with her and the others had sided with dad and the church.  I never heard that they split up, but never saw her in church again.  I remember hearing and thinking about how dangerous it was to get too much secular education, how awful it was for the father to continue to come to church alone, how loss of faith could tear a family apart, how the father was now looked down on as not being a strong enough "head" of the family to prevent this from happening.  All ridiculous, narrow-minded, stupid stuff in hindsight, but that was where my head was at the time.

[sdelsolray]

 

The only one I know of was a mom of five kids, married to a farmer.  She was getting her master's degree and word got round that she had lost her faith.  Then I heard that half the kids (who ranged in age from elementary school to high school) had sided with her and the others had sided with dad and the church.  I never heard that they split up, but never saw her in church again.  I remember hearing and thinking about how dangerous it was to get too much secular education, how awful it was for the father to continue to come to church alone, how loss of faith could tear a family apart, how the father was now looked down on as not being a strong enough "head" of the family to prevent this from happening.  All ridiculous, narrow-minded, stupid stuff in hindsight, but that was where my head was at the time.

 

Hearsay and infantile dogma is a toxic recipe.  Fortunately, you already know this.

[LogicalFallacy]

 

I remember hearing and thinking about how dangerous it was to get too much secular education, how awful it was for the father to continue to come to church alone, how loss of faith could tear a family apart, how the father was now looked down on as not being a strong enough "head" of the family to prevent this from happening.  All ridiculous, narrow-minded, stupid stuff in hindsight, but that was where my head was at the time.

 

Yeah, the old edumacation is of the devil is a strong current running through many churches.

[MOHO]

My stepson quit going a few years back but he is still a believer ... and let's you KNOW it at each and every opportunity!

He will thump his bible and tell YOU how YOU should be running YOUR life!

 

He did, however ,stop bragging about watching the service streaming on the Interwebs when one of his daughters ratted him out. "Dad! You were sleeping this morning!"