Update on my situation

[L.B.]

Dear Exers,

 

Many of you are aware of, if not actively participating in, the discussions and exchanges surrounding the faux debate between myself and DarkBishop, who gallantly offered to stand in for @Jon, a typical Christian coward.

 

You may also have been aware that just after my initial post in the debate, I developed a nasty viral stomach issue - it went through my whole family. I had the fewest negative effects overall, and I am glad to say that I am all better.

 

My wife, however, developed an infection in an artery. She has a very, very rare congenital physical anomaly (she was born with a really rare weird physical thing) in her abdomen and it made the infection worse and harder to deal with.

 

In short, the infection she developed was life-threatening. I am relieved to say that she is on her way out of the woods - more medication and lots of monitoring - and MIGHT not need surgery some time soon. Time will tell.

 

We lost a week's worth of her income (a VERY sizable portion of our family's living resources). OK, I said; I would just go try to get some more work myself (I am self-employed; more on that in a minute).

 

The day before she was due to be released from the hospital, I was out with two of my children running errands. Our family van (a 12-year-old Toyota with 200K miles) began to stall out in low gear.

 

To make a long story short, the van stalled one last time on a very busy highway. We called for a tow truck, then noticed that the engine compartment had begun to smoke.

My children and I got out of the van and away from it, and less than a minute later, it burst into flames. The van was completely destroyed. My children and i were unhurt.

 

I paid $6,000 for that van three years ago; what began as a week where I dealt with doctors and hospitals and then with potentially-scary diagnoses and a couple-hundred dollars' worth of lost wages turned into a week of nearly losing my wife, then nearly dying myself, and now dealing with the prospect of overcoming thousands of dollars in lost property and wages that I will not be able to earn without my transportation.

 

My wife has a car, a 16-year-old economy sedan with its own 200K miles and its own problems, like tires that are showing the metal belts. Another few hundred dollars we won't have any time soon.

 

As I mentioned, I am self-employed; that's almost by default, because I have physical disabilities which make most "regular" jobs impossible to do OR to get - my state's employment law makes 99% of the jobs "at-will employment", meaning that an employee or employer can terminate their working relationship at any time for any reason, or no reason at all. That also happens to mean that employers don't have to give reasons why they DON'T hire someone in the first place.

As long as no one says "we're not hiring you because you have an obvious physical deformity in your body and we don't want to accommodate your limitations", they can simply refuse to hire me, which has happened many, many times.

 

So, anyway, I work for myself as a musician, music teacher and other odd jobs like driving friends or acquaintances to airports, etc. Yes, I would love to drive for Uber or similar, but our van was too old and it had too many issues.

 

All that to say this:

 

I am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, and I have the responsibility of seeing my wife through this latest challenge to our family's stability and well-being.

 

I will be by to read from time to time, and I may post a comment here and there, but my involvement here at Ex-C is likely to be much more infrequent now that I have so much on my plate.

 

Through all this, I am being reminded by people that this was either the "will of God" or that "God allowed" these things to happen. It's very difficult to listen to such talk calmly on an average day - it's especially hard when I'm hearing how God either allowed or caused events that nearly killed almost my entire family.

 

Thanks for reading; be well, please. I've attached a picture of the highway incident and a couple of the van in the aftermath.

[TABA]

Oh man, I am so sorry for all you've been through recently!  I hope you know that you have a group of people here who care about you. I know, that and $1 will get you a cup of coffee at McDonalds, but I hope it helps in some way.  Since most of us here have never met and likely never will, emotional and moral support is the best we can offer.  At least you won't hear any BS from us about it being part of God's plan for your life...

 

I hope things start looking up for you, brother, I really do. 

[LogicalFallacy]

Hi L.B

 

I echo what TABA says. I feel for you, and my thoughts are with you and yours during this time.

 

I hope you will be able to work through this positively and come out on top. Ignore all the Christian bullshit.... we know its all crap.

 

Thanks for keeping us updated.

 

LF

 

(PS have you considered something like Go Fund Me to help with the financial situation? I have heard of families in need using such sites with great success.)

[Positivist]

Oh wow that's brutal!!!! And crazy pics!!!!! 

 

I'm glad your wife is going to be okay and that your kids are okay!!! 

 

I've just been through my own personal shitstorm. I had to find money because I was sinking fast, gasping for air. It's gonna be a lean year but I'm turning a corner. 

 

Do you have a good support base?

[Ellinas]

Bloody hell.

 

LB, at least you are all alive.  As to the crap that people talk about what god does or does not will or allow, just ignore it.  The alternative would involve constant confrontation, and you can do without the hassle.

 

I know financial circumstances can cause major headaches; right now, however, seems to me, you and your family need rest and recuperation.  As far as is possible, seek that.

 

All the best.