“Duh!” Scripture of the Week: the Ascension

[Cousin Ricky]

This past Thursday, western Christians celebrated the Feast of the Disappearance of the Evidence. (OK, so some Catholic dioceses won’t celebrate it until tomorrow, but you get my point.) I don’t frequent the Lion’s Den; but I’m interested in Christian reactions to this passage:

 

When [Jesus] had said this, as they were watching, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. While he was going and they were gazing up toward heaven, suddenly two men in white robes stood by them. They said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking up toward heaven? ...” —Acts 1:9–11a, NRSV

 

Why were the men in the white robes surprised at the people’s reaction? If a man just floated off into the sky and disappeared, wouldn’t you also be staring slack-jawed at the sky? Or is a certain level of acceptance of unusual weirdness expected among True Christians™?

[sdelsolray]

Those two dudes may simply be a retelling of the two very tall angels standing next to Jesus' tomb in one of the non-Canonical gospels (the Gospel of Peter).

[readyforchange]

What's interesting is that there is an earlier ascension of Jesus described at the end of Luke, in Luke 24:50-53.  This ascension in Luke took place the same day the resurrected Jesus first appears to the disciples in Jerusalem, and the ascension took place in Bethany after Jesus led them there.  But the ascension in Acts 1:9-11 took place forty days after Jesus was resurrected and in Jerusalem, after he appeared on earth to the disciples during those forty days (Acts 1:3). 

 

It appears that Jesus had two different ascensions to heaven.  But there may be ways in which to harmonize the two accounts, or interpretations that these accounts both describe the same ascension.  Luke and Acts were supposedly written by the same person. 

 

⁵⁰ Then he led them out as far as Bethany, and, lifting up his hands, he blessed them. ⁵¹ While he was blessing them, he withdrew from them and was carried up into heaven.^{[p] 52} And they worshiped him, and^[q] returned to Jerusalem with great joy; ⁵³ and they were continually in the temple blessing God. (NRSV)

[Cousin Ricky]

 

What's interesting is that there is an earlier ascension of Jesus described at the end of Luke, in Luke 24:50-53.  This ascension in Luke took place the same day the resurrected Jesus first appears to the disciples in Jerusalem, and the ascension took place in Bethany after Jesus led them there.  But the ascension in Acts 1:9-11 took place forty days after Jesus was resurrected and in Jerusalem, after he appeared on earth to the disciples during those forty days (Acts 1:3). 

 

It appears that Jesus had two different ascensions to heaven.  But there may be ways in which to harmonize the two accounts, or interpretations that these accounts both describe the same ascension.  Luke and Acts were supposedly written by the same person.

 

Did Luke invent the ascension?

 

Joseph Fitzmyer, S.J. addresses this retcon on pages 416 – 420, and the top of p. 421. Yoga twists the body into pretzels. Christian apologetics twists the mind into pretzels.

[♦ Fuego ♦]

This also displays a primitive mindset of "up" into Heaven. Now that we know we are a planet floating in essentially infinite space in all directions, there really is no "up".

Building a tower to reach Heaven, and ascending above the clouds was impressive before skyscrapers, airplanes, and spacecraft.

[readyforchange]

 

 

Did Luke invent the ascension?

 

Joseph Fitzmyer, S.J. addresses this retcon on pages 416 – 420, and the top of p. 421. Yoga twists the body into pretzels. Christian apologetics twists the mind into pretzels.

 

Thanks for the link Cousin Ricky - I'll plan to read through it. 

[mwc]

     The description kind of raises a lot of questions in my mind.

 

     How high did jesus get before the cloud took him out of sight?  10 feet?  100?  1,000?  10,000?

 

     How fast was he ascending?  Was it a constant rate or did he accelerate?  If he was moving slowly this would mean they could be standing there awhile and would mean more people would notice.  Imagine if he moved on the orders of millimeters per hour.

 

     Was this a particularly foggy day and he disappeared at a low altitude?  Like up a nearby staircase.  Or was it cloudy and did he just fly up into the clouds?  Was it a clear day and a lone cloud appeared to take him out of their site?  Did this lone cloud appear then disappear or zoom in and out like a spaceship to zip him away?

 

     If jesus had to take time to ascend did the two guys in white have to take time to descend or did they get to just appear out of thin air?  If out of thin air why did jesus have to take the slow ride up?  If they descended how come no one noticed them coming down?  They'd have to have come down nearby in order to get to them on the ground so quickly to make their snarky comment.  Did they come out of the cloud jesus took away?  Are they trapped until that cloud returns or can they call another cloud?  Is there an Uber for clouds?

 

          mwc

 

[sdelsolray]

Did Gandalf eat meat?  Did Aragorn and Arwen have sex before they were married?  Did Gimli ever take baths?  How many children did Faramir and Eowyn have?  Did Bilbo ever get his spoon collection back from Lobelia Sackville-Baggins?

 

These are important questions.