Fear of cancer or...any other disease!!!

[Lost]

Well, I'm sort of scared of what I discovered on my cheeks inside: some kind of white lines up to my teeth line. I guess it's called leukoplakia. I had this condition I guess for a long time, but I didn't give it that much attention-it appeared and dissapeared. I always thought that it's some sort of reaction to food or me biting cheeks inside.

 

On Friday, after eating salt popcorn and some acid sweets...my tongue was hurt and inside my right cheek under white line appeared red small blood blister. I read that it may have lot's of causes from just eating salty, acid food, some virus to oral cancer. Of course I freaked out and I used herb rinse (herb called sage- Salvia officinalis) in hope for help. On Saturday this blood blister dissapeared, but these white lines seem to still remain there-sometimes it's smaller, sometimes annoying.

 

Immediately I decided to give up on junk food, sweets and salty, acid meals.

 

I guess I will visit my dentist or in the worst time oncologist or I will go to a bigger town in my country where there is a medical centre with special lamp that checks for 15 minutes if there is any danger inside mouth.

 

As I read leukoplakia might develop into cancer, so I need to check if my white lines are pre-cancerous or actually in cancer stage.

 

Today on Sunday I said about it to my sisters in church and they of course were telling me to check if it's not serious and also to pray and that they will pray for me.

 

And here question comes...

 

Do You fear or start to panic, when You suspect that you might have a cancer or other disease?

 

Do You feel kind of need to pray and do You wonder to pray for the miracle when it's going to be really serious?

 

I even thought to myself that if I will ever have a serious disease I will be tempted to pray and say "Lord, if You will heal me I will believe in You again and I will serve You".

But to be honest, even if I would be healed it could be really hard to program myself into Christianity again. Probably I would still have a dream to be a screenwriter, going abroad, meeting fascinating people who will like me for who I am, accept my doubts, listen to me.

 

Anyway, I am sure that because of fear if I would be close to death, still although being sceptical I would have a long talk with God, saying that: "If You are real, please forgive me, forgive my doubts and accept me into the Kingdom of Heavens".

 

When I watch on You Tube Atheist channels they don't really talk about sad side of life or how they survived through serious diseases without God's help.

 

Please share with me some of your stories or people's stories who lost their faith and had to go through serious disease without praying to God.

 

Yeah, there is always this urge to pray and seek protection in God Jesus Christ, when something sad, serious, devastating is happening in life.

[TABA]

First of all, be careful self-diagnosing.  Google is not necessarily your friend when it comes to medical symptoms.  People scare themselves sick that way.  So you really should see a doctor about this soon.  It may very well be some other condition.

 

Regarding prayer, I have pretty much lost any desire to pray, but on one or two occasions when things have gotten really dire,  I prayed briefly to Zeus, a god I never believed in.  I felt the same sense of vague relief that I had previously experienced in praying to the Christian God!  Another time I said a quick prayer to Satan (don't believe in him either) to see what the effect would be.  Instead of demons taking possession of me, again I felt a bit better, just as before.  So even though it's been a while since I believed that there is any god hearing and answering prayers, I realize that the act of praying can have benefits.  Now I want to be able to gain some of those benefits without praying to any imaginary deity, so I want to explore meditation.  I encourage you to look into meditation, or mindfulness, or Yoga, as I have heard plenty of testimonials from people who have benefited immensely from these practices.  

 

I wish you the best.  Please do see a doctor soon if you have not already done so!

[Rounin]

I have struggled with neurosis and anxiety at various times – both disease-related and religion-related.

The main way of getting around this has been to practice being more accepting of fears and worries.

 

Some sufferers of phobia notably overcome them by approaching the thing that triggers it little by little... Being in the next room to a spider (or perhaps dentist!) one day, at the other end of the same room the next day, three feet away on the third day, etc.

In the same way, sufferers of the kind of anxiety you're experiencing can also train themselves to be more accepting of fear and uncertainty, so that instead of turning to panic, and perhaps to obsessive thoughts and actions, which trigger more panic, etc., the fear and uncertainty remain mere fear and uncertainty, and as you get better at handling them, perhaps even lessen over time.

 

With regards to medical worries, there are a few things worth keeping in mind:

1. Something that might be an emergency (severe chest pains, sudden paralysis etc.) should of course be checked out immediately.
2. When it's not an emergency, and you have to wait for a doctor's appointment, blood test, etc., you can benefit greatly from being more proactive about how you think about the situation in the meantime. Despite the fact that you're feeling fear, letting the fear be there and accepting that there's nothing more to be done about it for a while can do wonders for your mental health. Devoting time and energy to other aspects of your life, and even making plans for the future can help.
3. Vague symptoms that are neither clear signs of a disease, nor urgent, will sometimes disappear by themselves after a few days. Some actual diseases do of course have symptoms that appear and disappear again, and one should consult a doctor if in doubt or in need of medical advice. However, sometimes the cure for a perceived illness is just to be patient for a while and wait.

[Wertbag]

As Thereandbackagain said be careful with self diagnosis.  We are terrible at self evaluation as we will find symptoms to fit.  A lump might mean cancer but it could also be a cyst, in grown hair, parasite, blocked duct or many other things.  Take symptoms seriously but don't believe you have an answer until a doctor has inspected and run some tests to confirm the cause.

As for fear, it is more the fear of the unknown that a rational fear.  We all fear cancer, but you don't give it much thought until it enters your life.  As it is outside of our control there is no reason to worry about it on a regular basis.  You do what you can to stay healthy, eat a balanced diet, don't smoke or do drugs, get regular exercise etc.  You can never guarantee that you will avoid problems, but as long as you take the steps to do what is within your power to control then you can feel good that you've increased your chances of a good long life.

[sdelsolray]

See your doctor.  The human body has extensive healing capabilities.  Determine what you can do to enhance them.

[Lost]

Thank You for advices guys

 

I saw my dentist in this week and she said that it's not a big deal, but it might be a virus and recommended using some herbal rinse.

 

On Monday I'm going to see dentist surgeon, that specializes much more in pathological changes in a mouth and in the next week I'm going to see an oncologist.

 

I don't know if it's dangerous or not, but lately I feel like perspective of death is on my shoulders snd it  seems to be much more scary after loosing religion.

 

Do You know personally any ex-Christian who died, because  of different diseases?

 

What they were thinking about afterlife before death?

 

Did they say a final prayer (in the case  that God is real) or not?

[yunea]

As far as illness and diseases go for me, I used to be able to pray my symptoms away and think I was cured.

 

In one case I had an infection in my mouth that very nearly turned extremely dangerous for me. It'd been developing for a long time, but I had a severe dentist phobia and prayer always took the pain away so I thought God was handling the situation for me.

 

When I was finally ex-Christian, it flared up once more. I had to have emergency surgery done on me, but I was just in time and didn't need a long hospital stay. If I'd have waited for any longer though, the infection could have spread down my bloodstream and into my chest.

So I'm glad I wasn't a believer anymore. No one was there to watch over me supernaturally, so I had to RUN (ok, get a ride, but you know) to the doctors myself. 

 

I also recently watched my man have a piece of clotted blood in his leg travel up to his lung. Life-threatening as well and scary as heck, but neither of us prayed (he used to be spiritual). 

 

I do find myself missing the comfort of "knowing" there'll be an afterlife where we all rejoin.

 

Still, medical science is pretty awesome these days. Let us know how your mouth is, ok? 

[Lost]

 

Still, medical science is pretty awesome these days. Let us know how your mouth is, ok? 

 

Thank You, yunea  

 

If I will know something more about my mouth condition I will share information here.

[Lost]

So on Tuesday I went to an oral surgeon and he said that these horizontal white lines, which I have on the inner side of cheeks is a result of bruxism.

 

It is known as excessive teeth grinding or jaw clenching.

 

Probably when I sleep I'm bitting inner side of cheeks and I move my teeth a lot.

 

He said that my upper teeth are really sharp and I should go to a dentist to file them off. I don't know if teeth are healthy after that.

He also recommended buying special dental splint for the night time.

 

To be honest his opinion didn't convinced me that changes inside my mouth are not pre-cancerous, but certainly it gave me some peace and I can focus on studying for 3 more weeks at my university. The end of my 1st year Public Health studies is near.

 

Some symptoms can mean many things and this is kind of tricky. I'm planning to go to one of medical clinics in a bigger city of my country and pay money to see (thanks to special lamp) if there is nothing dangerous inside my mouth.

 

Thank You ALL for your thoughts on my struggle.

 

[Positivist]

 

Thank You ALL for your thoughts on my struggle.

Keep us posted!! And thanks for this update! 

[ConsiderTheSource]

Re:  Final Prayer.

 

Nope, will not happen.  I have been living a genuine life for nearly 7 year.  There is no god.  Prayer is wasted effort.  Why be disingenuous at the end

[Lost]

 

Re:  Final Prayer.

 

Nope, will not happen.  I have been living a genuine life for nearly 7 year.  There is no god.  Prayer is wasted effort.  Why be disingenuous at the end

 

I guess, no one can really know for sure how the end of their life will look like and what we will be thinking and saying when we will be lying in death bed. If we actually will have an opportunity to be conscious before death. We can be killed in a car accident, plane crash, murdered, poisoned...etc.

[LogicalFallacy]

 

Re:  Final Prayer.

 

Nope, will not happen.  I have been living a genuine life for nearly 7 year.  There is no god.  Prayer is wasted effort.  Why be disingenuous at the end

Not to mention that it's highly unlikely that the God of Christianity is going to suddenly give you a pass because you are just 'covering your bases'. It's more likely a just god would take you to paradise for being true to your convictions rather than doing a base covering exercise (Pascal's wager).

 

Lost: If you keep looking for something you'll always be worried there is something. At some point you have to trust that the medical professionals have got the diagnosis right. While certainly mistakes happen, to try and second guess doctors all the time just leads to anxiety and stress - and those two things will create issues long term.

 

Keep us updated, and hope all is well

LF

[♦ nivek ♦]

Lost,

 

First, pleasedtomeetchas.

 

Second, I have a plethora of medical conditions brought on by age and GMS Syndrome, also known in Texas as "Here hold mah beer!". General Male Stupidity has cause me to blow my back out several times, loose right  leg below knee, and do time in dialysis chairs until kidney transplant back in '11.

Been my fortune that the beautiful face and extreme brain power have only been shaken and not too stirred with many accidents.  

 

Cancers. With transplanted kidney come a simple host of anti-rejection drugs, immunosuppressants. These have helped spots on my shoulders and arms which have been exposed to sunlight for most of my fifty-five years. 
Have been to dermatologist for removal of many deep skin cancers, none have been fun to remove and in turn allow to heal...sans scratching, rubbing, itching and wanting to crawl into my office paper shredder for a good scratching!

 

Last week was spent in a local larger cities Nuclear Medicine ward while my old hide and innards were given a PET scan, this one looking for possible problems in my gut that cameras cannot reach, normal X-ray or CAT cannot reach.

Doc ordering this will be out of office for another week from day of this post. Am I nervous? Yes. Am I worried? Ehhh, not so much, "What ever happens will pan out".
Upset some that what is found might not be A central problem but spread throughout? 
Indeed.

 

Nothing I can do about things at moment, can't drink much, do not smoke, and in turn keeping my busy widdle mind on other things helps try not to concentrate on the extreme mean end that *may* happen.

 

Only advise I may offer to you is to try not to intensely FOCUS on that one problem. So many other things in your immediate now requiring attention. Try best as possible to work on needed "stuff" breaking that beamed in focus on that dammed oral headache.

And again, you are always welcome to post and share here,  we others, strangers united by a webspot where things that concern you will receive caring audience.

 

Do take care of yourself. 

 

kevinL, GMSsurvivor