Burnedout

New Game: You Might be an Ex-Christian if.....

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If you ever show Christians touchy little verses like say.... Psalms 137:9, 1 Samuel 15:3, and Numbers 15:11-31, where their gawd violates his own book, and you see them start to get nervous and then red faced and call you "EVIL" or some other holy and pioused pejorative like a self-righteous child......YOU MIGHT BE AN EX-CHRISTIAN!

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...when you talk to an Xian friend about a problem and they keep telling you that god will take care of you. As in a subclause... like they are sneaking it in to "encourage" you because they suspect you've "fallen away".

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When you're asked by fundies what your favorite bible verse is, you're dying to say:  Ezekiel 23:20 --

 

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

 

 

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If you have, in the past, or currently know someone who is going through a hard time and you hear some Christian say something like...."Gawd is trying to tell you something"....and you want to hit them between the eyes with your fist.....YOU MIGHT BE AN EX-CHRISTIAN!

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If you have ever asked a Christian to give you a specific definition explicitly from the Bible defining what "Taking the Lord's name in vain"  is and they try to tell you that common swearing is, but cannot show you a specific verse or text, and you point that out, and they get angry, but you get some satisfaction with a little grin......YOU MIGHT BE AN EX-CHRISTIAN!

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When you ask Christians you know to specifically explain common Christian cliche's and they just tell you to TRUST GAWD and HAVE FAITH, but you keep pressing and they tell you that you have a lack of faith...and you smile.....YOU MIGHT BE AN EX-CHRISTIAN!

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If you ever feel like punching a Christian in the face because they think it is "THEIR CHRISTIAN DUTY" to make you aware that you are putting your soul at risk by even paying any heed to other theories and even looking at myth as myth.....YOU MIGHT BE AN EX-CHRISTIAN!

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If you have ever wondered if some big name preachers are really closeted gay.....YOU MIGHT BE AN EX-CHRISTIAN!

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IF you have ever noticed the hot wife of a big name preacher who is mostly serious during the service, but one day, out of the blue she is almost giddy....and then you wonder who made her happy because it certainly wasn't him...YOU MIGHT BE AN EX-CHRISTIAN!!! 

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You slip into leggings at 35 and smile. Because modesty bullshit doesn’t bother you anymore. 

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1 hour ago, PurpleLilac said:

You slip into leggings at 35 and smile. Because modesty bullshit doesn’t bother you anymore. 

 

Oh, HELLLLL to the yeah!  :58:

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You might be an Ex-christian when you finally make the decision to unfollow a family member on facebook cause you cannot take ONE MORE  post about the christian god (and write something that I'll regret) and ruin our friendship. So I'll take a break from her for now before she drives me nuts!.

 

Today's post: Image may contain: text

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Just now, Margee said:

You might be an Ex-christian when you finally make the decision to unfollow a family member on facebook cause you cannot take ONE MORE  post about the christian god (and write something that I'll regret) and ruin our friendship. So I'll take a break from her for now.

 

Today's post: Image may contain: text

The snooze feature on FB has saved me many a time. 

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You get excited to get a "spam e-mail" that says "send me to 10 of your friends" and doesn't end with the "threat of punishment", "God blessing/prayer", of luck, .. it just simply says ... because we care about you.

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If you hear one more person or preacher say about Christmas, "Jesus is the reason for the season" and you want grab him/her by the throat and drown them! ........YOU MIGHT BE AND EX-CHRISTIAN!

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You might be an ex-christian if the hair on the back of your neck stands on end whenever some pentecostal cult member says something like, "gawd is watching over you" :p

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If you have a Christian friend who thinks he/she just found some profound truth in the Bible, and you have to debate in your mind whether you should burst their bubble or not.......YOU MIGHT BE AN EX-CHRISTIAN!

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If you are feeling mischevious and decide to play some ancient pagan/heathen/Norse/non Christian Yule songs when your Christians friends are over and they say, "that is different Xmas Music, I have never heard this before", and you tell them these are some VERY ancient tunes, then laugh to yourself.....YOU MIGHT BE AN EX-CHRISTIAN!

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On 8/23/2018 at 2:54 PM, buffettphan said:

When you're asked by fundies what your favorite bible verse is, you're dying to say:  Ezekiel 23:20 --

 

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

 

 

This is one of my favorite verses too and I use it every chance I get :)

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When someone turns on the Christian tv channel and you feel physically sick 

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If you've ever driven by a sign like this one and rolled your eyes....YOU MIGHT BE AN EX-CHRISTIAN!!!

 

Image result for How to make the sign of the devil

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1 hour ago, Burnedout said:

If you've ever driven by a sign like this one and rolled your eyes....YOU MIGHT BE AN EX-CHRISTIAN!!!

 

Image result for How to make the sign of the devil

Fuckity fuck. Did signs like these ever draw anybody to ChrRRRiSSSt?

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3 hours ago, offtheromanroad said:

Fuckity fuck. Did signs like these ever draw anybody to ChrRRRiSSSt?

Looks like a smurf with a scythe 

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When people say “that isn’t very Christian-like”

 

Not realising you gave up that shit and woke up 

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