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Shinobi

A True Ex-Christian Anthem

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There's a huge and very important reason that I didn't post this in the "What are You Listening to?" section of the forums.  Every last one of you who are using this site will probably be able to relate with every single word that this man has written.  I don't care who you are, this will hit you on a deep and personal level - I can almost guarantee it.  Please take a few minutes from whatever it is you are doing and listen to this song.  I've honestly never heard anything so bold, raw, and honest in my entire life...  

 

Ill Mind Of Hopsin 7

 

It's us, mind power
Live life, mind power
It's us, mind power
Live life, mind power
Yo, fuck anybody I might alarm
Life is a tour, I sit and ride along
Taking some notes and then I write the song
I'm staring down the road my life has gone
Is this where I belong?
Is it wrong to not believe in right and wrong?
My mental state is fucking me up
And I cried upon while asking you for some answers
But we don't have that type of bond
Now my desires gone with the way that I've been living lately
If I died right now, you'd turn the fire on
Sick of this bullshit, niggas call me a sellout
'Cause I hopped on Christianity so strongly then I fell out
Now I'm avoiding questions like a scared dog with his tail down
Feeling so damn humiliated 'cause they looking at me like I'm hellbound
What story should I tell now? I'll just expose the truth
I'm so close to the fucking edge, I should be close to you
But who the fuck are You? You never showed the proof
And I'm only fucking human yo, what am I supposed to do?
There's way too many different religions with vivid descriptions
Begging all fucking men and women to listen
I can't even beat my dick without getting convicted
These ain't wicked decisions, I got different intentions
I been itching to get it, I've been given assistance
But the whole fucking system is twisted
Now I'm dealing with this backlash because Marcus isn't a Christian
And I've been told that my sinful life is an addiction
But I can't buy it, it's just too hard to stand beside it
I need an answer and humans can't provide it
I look at the Earth and Sun and I can tell a genius man designed it
It's truly mind blowing, I can't deny it
Is heaven real? Is it fake? Is it really how I fantasize it?
Where's the Holy Ghost at? How long it take Man to find it?
My mind's a nonstop tape playing and I can't rewind it
You gave me a bible and expect me not to analyze it
I'm frustrated and you provoked it
I'm not reading that motherfucking book because a human wrote it
I have a fucking brain, you should know it
You gave it to me to think to avoid every useless moment
It was a mission that I had to abort
'Cause humans be lying with such an inaccurate source
It's gon' be hard to put me back on the course
Next Jehovah's witness to come on my porch, I swear I'm slammin' the door
A lot of folks believe it though, but I'm not surprised
Humans are fucking dumb, still thinkin' that Pac's alive
I ain't trying to take your legacy and torch it down
I'm just saying, I ain't heard shit from the horse's mouth
Just sheep always telling stories of older guys
Who were notarized by you when you finally vocalized
Now I'm supposed to bow my head and close my eyes
And somehow let the Holy Ghost arise, sounds like a fucking poltergeist
Show yourself and the boom is done
Every rumor's gone, I no longer doubt this shit, you're the one
I'll admit that my sinful ways was stupid fun
And all my old habits can hop onto of a roof to plunge
I'll donate to a charity that could use the funds
Fuck the club, instead of bitches I'd hang with a group of nuns
And everyone that I ran into would know what I came to do
I wouldn't take a step unless it was in the name of You
I hate the fact that I have to believe
You haven't been chatting with me like you did Adam and Eve
And I ain't seen no talking snake or rabbit from trees
With an apple to eat, that shit never happens to me
I don't know if you do or don't exist, shit is driving me crazy
Send your condolences, this is me reaching to you so don't forget
If hell is truly your pit of fire and I get thrown in it
I'mma probably regret the fact that I ever wrote this shit
My gut feeling says it's all fake, I hate to say it but fuck it, shit I done lost faith
This isn't a small phase, my perspective's all changed
My thoughts just keep picking shit apart all day
And in my mind I make perfect sense
If you aren't real then all my prayers aren't worth a cent
That would mean that I could just make up what my purpose is
And I could just sit in the church and say fuck in the services
Man what if Jesus was a facade? Then that would mean the government's God
I feel like they've been brainwashing us with a lot
So much that we don't even notice that we're stuck in the box
Man everything is what if, why is it always what if
Planet Earth what if, the universe what if
My sacrifice what if, my afterlife what if
Every fucking thing that deals with you is fucking suspect
I'm fucking done, I'm fucking done
This is my fucking life and I'm living it, I'm having fun
If you really care for me, prove that I need to live carefully
But I'll be damned if I put my own pleasure aside for an afterlife that isn't even guaranteed
We are you, and you're us, stop playing games
My life's all I got, and heaven is all in my brain
And when I feel I am in hell, my ideas are what get me through pain
Do as you please, and I'll just do me, I'm a human, I'll stay in my lane
Ill mind
It's us, mind power
Live life, mind power
It's us, mind power
Live life, mind power
Songwriters: Marcus Jamal Hopson
Ill Mind Of Hopsin 7 lyrics © The Administration MP, Inc
 
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Wow.  And this is exactly what we go through when our eyes are opened. This is the agony we go through when we lose our faith.

I just pinned this for our 'doubter' lurkers to hear. 

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Extremely powerful, thanks for sharing.

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To bad you can't post this type of material on a Christian forum, they'll ban you quick smart.

 

Those people need to wake up, sooner than later, before they drop the bomb on us all.

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Yesss I was so happy when I heard this song for the first time. 

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That put a lump in my throat. So touching and so very relatable. Many Christians would dismiss unbelief as not really "seeking God" hard enough, but they don't truly understand how many of us have begged and cried for God to give us something - anything - to show us that he's there. And we've gotten nothing but silence. Kudos to this guy for putting words to our deepest emotions 

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