LordProtectorOliverCromwell Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 So I was sitting down during worship in church on Sunday next to my brother when an impudent toad known as "Brother Eric" (a newlywed whose wedding in the church we attended a few weeks ago), came up to me and began demanding that I stand up and "get involved". (To add to the irony, I was holding a copy of Nietzsche's Ecce Homo which I intended to read during the service but ultimately ended up too pissed off to do). I stood up in order to make him go away. Then after a few seconds I furiously stormed out of the room and went to the bathroom to calm down for a bit. It was insulting and humiliating. How dare this jumped-up prick ask me to stand up. Does he think I'm a child? I doubt he would have treated an older person in such an arrogant and despicable fashion. He wouldn't have the balls. I have no intention of allowing this to happen in future Sundays. I will sit down if I want to and I refuse to be bullied by holier-than-thou idiots in the church staff. It's church, not a Nazi Party rally. They can go screw themselves. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordProtectorOliverCromwell Posted July 11, 2017 Author Share Posted July 11, 2017 Dumb question..... Why were you even there? I go for my mum. No other reason. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ Fuego ♦ Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 'Twas ever thus. I remember being in tears in prayer once and a jerk said to me "GOD WANTS YOU TO PRAISE HIM LOUDLY!" and they all began marching around the sanctuary singing some happy song. There is no room for being different with militant sheep. I think I ignored them that time. I've always been different and have had no qualms being so in the presence of bullies. Why would I want to be like them when they are jerks? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted July 11, 2017 Moderator Share Posted July 11, 2017 So sorry you had to go through this. There is nothing worse in my eyes than bullying or embarrassing someone in public. As much of a 'softee' as I am, I can be the most passive-aggressive bitch you ever met when embarrassed. That's why I know this trait so well. (but I must be pushed to my limits before I get to this point) My pastor did something to me in front of the whole church at the last of my going to church and let me tell you when he pushed me over the edge, the whole church knew my anger and so did the pastor after the service. I embarrassed him back in front of the church in the sweetest, non-drama way. I never went back to that church, but I did torture myself by going somewhere else for awhile. Next time you go and want to sit down and the guy comes up to you, gently whisper to him in his ear (make sure no one can hear you)... and tell him to go fuck himself. He won't bother you again. (hug) because you have to tolerate this for your dear mother. Kudos to you. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOHO Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 So sorry you had to go through this. There is nothing worse in my eyes than bullying or embarrassing someone in public. As much of a 'softee' as I am, I can be the most passive-aggressive bitch you ever met when embarrassed. That's why I know this trait so well. (but I must be pushed to my limits before I get to this point) My pastor did something to me in front of the whole church at the last of my going to church and let me tell you when he pushed me over the edge, the whole church knew my anger and so did the pastor after the service. I embarrassed him back in front of the church in the sweetest, non-drama way. I never went back to that church, but I did torture myself by going somewhere else for awhile. Next time you go and want to sit down and the guy comes up to you, gently whisper to him in his ear (make sure no one can hear you)... and tell him to go fuck himself. He won't bother you again. (hug) because you have to tolerate this for your dear mother. Kudos to you. Way to GO, @Margee! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOHO Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 So I was sitting down during worship in church on Sunday next to my brother when an impudent toad known as "Brother Eric" (a newlywed whose wedding in the church we attended a few weeks ago), came up to me and began demanding that I stand up and "get involved". (To add to the irony, I was holding a copy of Nietzsche's Ecce Homo which I intended to read during the service but ultimately ended up too pissed off to do). I stood up in order to make him go away. Then after a few seconds I furiously stormed out of the room and went to the bathroom to calm down for a bit. It was insulting and humiliating. How dare this jumped-up prick ask me to stand up. Does he think I'm a child? I doubt he would have treated an older person in such an arrogant and despicable fashion. He wouldn't have the balls. I have no intention of allowing this to happen in future Sundays. I will sit down if I want to and I refuse to be bullied by holier-than-thou idiots in the church staff. It's church, not a Nazi Party rally. They can go screw themselves. There are times at Mrs. MOHO's church, @LordProtectorOliverCromwell, that one would have difficulty ascertaining the difference. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 So I was sitting down during worship in church on Sunday next to my brother when an impudent toad known as "Brother Eric" (a newlywed whose wedding in the church we attended a few weeks ago), came up to me and began demanding that I stand up and "get involved". (To add to the irony, I was holding a copy of Nietzsche's Ecce Homo which I intended to read during the service but ultimately ended up too pissed off to do). I stood up in order to make him go away. Then after a few seconds I furiously stormed out of the room and went to the bathroom to calm down for a bit. It was insulting and humiliating. How dare this jumped-up prick ask me to stand up. Does he think I'm a child? I doubt he would have treated an older person in such an arrogant and despicable fashion. He wouldn't have the balls. I have no intention of allowing this to happen in future Sundays. I will sit down if I want to and I refuse to be bullied by holier-than-thou idiots in the church staff. It's church, not a Nazi Party rally. They can go screw themselves. Next time tell him to fuck off. And then later on after church gets out and he tries to pull you aside to counsel you tell him to fuck off again. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 When I go to church as a favor to my parents, I stand up when everyone else does out of respect. I'm an adult and it's ultimately my choice whether I attend, so I don't show up and then blatantly refuse to participate. If someone is blackmailing you into going, such as your parents threatening to take away college tuition support unless you attend church, I understand your not wanting to stand up during worship. It was unnecessary for this person to call you out. Still, I think it's a good idea to stand. If you are attending voluntarily, even though you don't respect the church's message, it's simply courteous to the rest of the congregation to comply with expected behavior. If you are a minor and your parents are making you go, it might be a good idea to play along for the sake of having your parents' financial support in the future if you need it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted July 11, 2017 Moderator Share Posted July 11, 2017 When I go to church as a favor to my parents, I stand up when everyone else does out of respect. I'm an adult and it's ultimately my choice whether I attend, so I don't show up and then blatantly refuse to participate. If someone is blackmailing you into going, such as your parents threatening to take away college tuition support unless you attend church, I understand your not wanting to stand up during worship. It was unnecessary for this person to call you out. Still, I think it's a good idea to stand. If you are attending voluntarily, even though you don't respect the church's message, it's simply courteous to the rest of the congregation to comply with expected behavior. If you are a minor and your parents are making you go, it might be a good idea to play along for the sake of having your parents' financial support in the future if you need it. Lilith, you are right. There are times when compliance can be beneficial. Sometimes we have to feel out a situation and try to fit in for another's benefit. In this case, LPOC doesn't want his mother to get hurt. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOHO Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 @LordProtectorOliverCromwell, When I read the title of your original post I thought you were wanting a referral to a good proctologist. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ag_NO_stic Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 That doesn't mean you can't piss them off with "prayer requests" for other people. "Dear God in heaven, hallowed by thy name.....I pray for that toad you created, Brother Eric, father.....please, father god, please help him to get it up for his wife. I know erectile dysfunction is part of the fall, pun intended as you well know, god, but please help him to overcome this, father. Fill him with your spirit, father god, and ultimately help him to be happy with his size, for you know more than any of us that 'it's not about the size of the ark,' but about 'the wife's submission and perdition.' And please help Betty's whore prodical niece, Debby, for being such a harloty piece of abominable crap, forgive her and make her paths straight....." 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted July 11, 2017 Super Moderator Share Posted July 11, 2017 If you agree to go to a religious service you tacitly agree to observing their customs, protocol and generally refrain from being disruptive. If you can't handle that, then don't go at all. It's just adult behavior and common sense. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 Where in the Bible does it ask you to please stand up? If churches were actually interested in authentic culture then they wouldn't try to enforce this kind of adherence like fascist fan boys. Shouldn't it be obvious for the Christian that not everyone who attends a service is not a believer? How does socially enforcing behavior even lead people to Jesus? This is the kind of stuff that caused my Christian wife to totally give up church, and I have to agree. Entering a religious service means that you are inclined to at minimum politely observe, any participation should be purely elective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cousin Ricky Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 'Twas ever thus. I remember being in tears in prayer once and a jerk said to me "GOD WANTS YOU TO PRAISE HIM LOUDLY!" ... Rather insecure for a supreme being, methinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted July 11, 2017 Moderator Share Posted July 11, 2017 If "Brother Eric" was using adult behavior, he might have recognized that your legs could have been sore or maybe you had an operation on a foot that wasn't visible. Even at the end of my church going days, I could barely do what the church was doing. I couldn't drink the blood or eat the body, couldn't raise my hands like all the others were doing, couldn't scream hallelujah. I also sat out some songs. I was a 'bump on a log'. His behavior was bossy, arrogant and immature. You have the right to stay seated if you so choose but like lilith666 said, sometimes you might have to force yourself to be part of the crowd so you don't stick out like a sore thumb. But ultimately, it's your choice. Good luck the next time you go. Keep us posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator LogicalFallacy Posted July 11, 2017 Moderator Share Posted July 11, 2017 If you agree to go to a religious service you tacitly agree to observing their customs, protocol and generally refrain from being disruptive. If you can't handle that, then don't go at all. It's just adult behavior and common sense. What is your opinion on attending a dinner at a Christian's (Parents in my case) place and blowing head/closing eyes versus not? I haven't been bowing head/closing eyes, and mum sometimes watches to see if I am. I wonder if I start to out of 'respect' they might think I'm slowly coming back into the fold?... although that's probably a side issue of whether I should or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ag_NO_stic Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 What is your opinion on attending a dinner at a Christian's (Parents in my case) place and blowing head/closing eyes versus not? I haven't been bowing head/closing eyes, and mum sometimes watches to see if I am. I wonder if I start to out of 'respect' they might think I'm slowly coming back into the fold?... although that's probably a side issue of whether I should or not. I know you were talking to Florduh, but my immediate reaction is that this is comparing apples to oranges. You are going to be having dinner, it's not your fault if they decide to all ritually hold hands and talk out loud before they eat. I typically hold hands with my family, to not be a dick, but I will not close my eyes lol. It's like a 5 year old inner rebellion thing. A Christian's house is not the same as a religious service, in my mind. I feel like it's why some people watching a sporting event at their house may not stand up with a hand over the heart for the anthem (in the states), but when you are attending the actual sporting event, you do out of respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted July 12, 2017 Super Moderator Share Posted July 12, 2017 What is your opinion on attending a dinner at a Christian's (Parents in my case) place and blowing head/closing eyes versus not? I haven't been bowing head/closing eyes, and mum sometimes watches to see if I am. I wonder if I start to out of 'respect' they might think I'm slowly coming back into the fold?... although that's probably a side issue of whether I should or not. As already mentioned, it's not the same thing at all. A formal religious function at a place of worship can't be compared to family customs in the home. However, in someone's home I will bow my head out of respect. I will not hold hands or pray, though. Does that answer it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator LogicalFallacy Posted July 12, 2017 Moderator Share Posted July 12, 2017 Hi @ag_NO_stic @florduh Yes I understand its not the same situation, I um... mini hijacked the thread to ask about something concerning me. Both your answers were helpful. I am thinking probably no harm bowing out of respect at parents place. And at my own house I have no problems with them praying, but I certainly don't bother bowing/closing eyes at my place Thanks - you've helped clarify things for me. LF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 What is your opinion on attending a dinner at a Christian's (Parents in my case) place and blowing head/closing eyes versus not? I haven't been bowing head/closing eyes, and mum sometimes watches to see if I am. I wonder if I start to out of 'respect' they might think I'm slowly coming back into the fold?... although that's probably a side issue of whether I should or not. I usually awkwardly tilt my head down with my eyes open, it is too weird to be looking straight up while everyone is is being all reverent. Praying is kind of a strange thing, people don't like to be looked at when they pray generally I've found. Ultimately this is also just about what you're comfortable with or not, but I see your point about possibly giving mixed signals. Just make sure you never elect to say prayer if you want to make sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skysoar15 Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 That's awesome that you attend for your mom's sake. I can say a very convincing prayer just to comfort my mom. Assholes will be assholes. If the pastor is reasonable, I'd talk to him and let him know that his actions are alienating people from coming to the church. If he responds rudely or dismissively, then either suck it up (sadly) or maybe even talk to your mom about it. Does she care that you choose not to stand? In my college church group, many students had different ways of worship. (Some kneeled on the ground, some simply stood up, some laid on the ground, others danced..etc) Your mom seems pretty relaxed to not say anything to you about reading a non-Biblical book during service. Does she believe you're there on your own accord? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cousin Ricky Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 However, in someone's home I will bow my head out of respect. I will not hold hands or pray, though. Interesting. I will not bow my head, but I will hold hands. Praying is kind of a strange thing, people don't like to be looked at when they pray generally I've found. Ultimately this is also just about what you're comfortable with or not, but I see your point about possibly giving mixed signals. Just make sure you never elect to say prayer if you want to make sure. And just how would they know that they're being looked at? Of course, I never elect to say the prayer, but one Christmas my mom actually ambushed me. And yes, she knows that I don't believe. Refusing to indulge her passive-aggressive stunt, I ad libbed a secular invocation, but after I finished, my father made it a point to say a Christian prayer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Interesting. I will not bow my head, but I will hold hands. And just how would they know that they're being looked at? Of course, I never elect to say the prayer, but one Christmas my mom actually ambushed me. And yes, she knows that I don't believe. Refusing to indulge her passive-aggressive stunt, I ad libbed a secular invocation, but after I finished, my father made it a point to say a Christian prayer. Yikes, are your parents fundies? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cousin Ricky Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Yikes, are your parents fundies? No, they're moderate Catholics, but they are very devout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 No, they're moderate Catholics, but they are very devout. Ah, yeah I have been around Catholics who pull stuff like that too, hope that doesn't happen your next holiday meal. haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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